Mrs. Lovelace had been distraught when he’d found her broken down on the side of the road. With no phone service for her to call for help and absolutely no idea how to change a flat, she had been more than happy to see him drive up. Three months ago, he’d been escorting a federal criminal into court, and today he was sending poodles to dog shows.
It was a little hard to get used to, and as he drove into town, Zane wondered if he was going to be able to make this adjustment.
He was surprised but pleased to find Rose standing outside the sheriff’s office when he drove up. Just as it had the first time he’d seen her all those years ago, every protective instinct he had went into high gear when it came to this woman. The first time he’d met her she’d been a scared young woman who’d witnessed a murder. There had been no hysterics or melodrama. She’d quietly come forward and told her story, though she’d been visibly shaken. He’d greatly admired her for stepping up when it would have been easier…safer to pretend she hadn’t seen anything.
“Why are you here?” she demanded.
The anger in her voice jolted him. Even though it was well-deserved and expected. He stepped to the pavement, closing his door behind him as he grappled with the right words. She kept on talking.
“You can’t tell me that you showing up here was an accident. Mule Hollow is just too small. Too out of the way. And after all these years, why?”
There was a fierceness in her eyes that he’d not seen before. He’d known he wouldn’t be welcome. “I had to come try to make things right between us.”
She gave him a look of disgust. He’d told himself he was prepared for this reaction, but he wasn’t. Beautiful, sweet Rose looking this hostile broke his heart. How could he have expected her to understand what he’d done? Why he’d done it? He’d never given her any explanation of why he’d left. Up until this moment he hadn’t realized that deep down he’d hoped his leaving hadn’t affected her. Knowing he’d embittered her like this was hard to take.
“Make things right?” she scoffed at last. “Why now, Zane? That was the past and you of all people should know that I don’t live in the past. After all, you were the one who taught me the art of living a lie.”
“That was my job. It was to keep you safe and you know it. Taking on a new identity was the only way. You had to, or you might have been killed before you testified against that thug, Lawton.” He knew this wasn’t really what she was asking yet he needed to get his head back on straight. It was not keeping her safe that he needed forgiveness for. His oath required him to protect those under his care, but with Rose it had gone so much deeper. From day one of meeting her he’d been doomed.
When he’d been assigned to Rose’s case, it had been his job to explain her options. He’d explained that she needed to enter the program or risk being killed before she could testify. Rose had touched his heart with the way she’d handled herself. Naively, without understanding what it would cost her, she agreed to do what was needed to see justice served. She hadn’t realized her ailing grandmother would refuse to go into the program with her. It had been a devastating blow to Rose. He’d had to stand at the door and watch as her grandmother sent her away. She’d believed, and rightly so, that her illness might somehow make it easier for Rose to be tracked down. It had killed Rose to say goodbye, but it was her grandmother’s wish that Rose be safe. And against his better judgment, for the first time in his life his job became personal.
It went beyond his oath, beyond the promise to her grandmother that he would keep her safe at all cost…he’d fallen in love with Rose, with her principles, with her loyalty. And she’d almost lost her life because of it.
“I did what had to be done to keep you safe,” he said. And it was true, even down to leaving her. It was putting her at risk and not telling her goodbye that he needed to make right.
Rose stared at Zane. Hearing him say he’d done what he’d thought was best to keep her safe cut to the quick. After all these years, how could it still hurt so much?
“We need to get some things straight,” she said, hearing the bitterness in her voice. “Have you told anyone that we know each other?” If no one knew, then maybe she had a little more time to figure things out. But she had to know if he knew about Max and had come looking for him.
“No,” he said, unlocking the door. “Let’s go inside.”
Rose didn’t want to be alone in a room with him. But what she needed to say shouldn’t be discussed on the street, so she nodded.
She refused to let him see her unravel. But looking into his amber eyes so dusted with flecks of gold that they stood out in a crowd made it near impossible. She felt certain everyone in Mule Hollow was going to see that Zane Cantrell had given his son his distinctive eyes.
And if that weren’t enough, he’d passed his devastating smile to Max as well.
Rose felt sick and her legs barely held her up long enough to walk past Zane to the chair in front of his desk. “I’ve started a new life here, Zane,” she managed while she sank into the chair. “This one is real. I don’t want to be reminded of my past. Of the lies. My son doesn’t know I was once in the witness protection program and I had hoped to keep it that way. I wanted him to be…one identity. His real identity.” Only he doesn’t know his real identity.
Rose inhaled sharply. Her blood pounded in her temples. Until Zane had come into the picture she’d been able to pretend that Max didn’t need to know the truth.
Zane sat on the edge of the desk and looked down at her. Despite everything between them, her insides knotted with the pull of emotions. Oh, how she’d loved this man before he’d abandoned her.
Abruptly, he moved from the desk to the window and stood gazing out, with his back to her.
Did he know?
She wasn’t sure how well the U.S. Marshal’s office kept up with witnesses after they were deemed safe to return to the world as they’d known it. And she wasn’t certain how much information a Ranger assigned to the case would have access to. How much of her life since the last time they’d seen each other did Zane know?
His wide shoulders remained rigid as moments ticked by and he stared out the window. When he turned back to her, his expression gave nothing away. Striding past her, he took his seat behind the desk. “I’m not sure I understand why you’d keep your past hidden,” he said finally. “What you did was a brave thing. It’s something to be proud of. Since there is no threat any longer, no one would be in danger from knowing the truth.”
He didn’t know! Relief washed over Rose at the realization. She suddenly felt light-headed and closed her eyes.
“Are you all right?”
Startled by the concern in his voice, she opened her eyes and nodded. “Yes,” she said, trying to get a hold on her emotions. He didn’t know Max was his son. If he did he would understand that she wasn’t hiding her life in the witness protection program all these years. She’d been hiding from him.
He studied her, his keen eyes searching for the truth in her expression. “Look, Rose. I came here hoping to start over, too. Hoping that we—”
At his admission her traitorous heart beat a little faster. It upset her all the more. “‘We,’” she gasped. “There is no ‘we.’ Will never be a ‘we.’”
“We” died the day you left me there…alone.
The muscle in his jaw jerked and his gaze darkened. “I see,” he said after a long moment. “Coming here and seeing that you’re okay has been worth it. I would never do anything to jeopardize your happiness.”
There was so much she wanted to say to him. But she wouldn’t. She’d believed she was over being bitter…but she was seeing the truth now. “I hope not. But if you’ll remember, I don’t have much faith in what you say.”
His expression hardened. “I did what I considered was right for you when I got reassigned. I believed it would keep you safe. I’d do it all over again if I felt it was the best choice.”
She surged to her feet, emotions rushing at her like darts.
“I trusted you, Zane. Do you even know what that means?” She was mortified at knowing she was about to unravel in front of him. “I can’t do this. I just needed to get things out in the open between us. Stay away from me and my son. Like I said, Max has no idea about my life in the witness protection program. I chose not to tell him because we’ve had more than our share of bad luck and I feel as if I’ve spent my entire life in hiding. I didn’t want him to feel that way. Your coming here can only make things bad again.” She closed her eyes and fought down the fear of what would come if he stayed. It was an impossible situation. “Stay away,” she managed as she headed toward the door.
Zane was beside her in an instant, his hand reaching to open the door for her, surprising her with his apologetic smile…Max’s smile.
“I can’t do that, Rose. I owe it to you to explain. To make you see—”
“I don’t want anything from you. It’s too late for explanations.” There, that was plain enough. Back stiff, she walked out the door. But she knew when she got inside her car and met Zane’s unwavering gaze through the windshield that somehow what she wanted didn’t matter. Never had. Zane would do what he wanted and she would suffer the consequences.
Chapter Four
“You feeling okay, Mom?” Max asked as they got out of the car and started toward the church the next morning.
“I’m fine. Just a little tired, I think,” Rose said, feeling as if she was walking straight into disaster. She should have told Max last night. “I was up late making syrup for the jelly.” And worrying—but she kept that thought to herself as she looked up at her son. Even at his age it was obvious he was going to be tall and lean just like…his dad. All these years she’d tried to pretend she didn’t see Zane every time she looked at Max, but that was impossible. And today, with each step she took toward the small crowd gathered on the church lawn, her world teetered on the edge of falling apart.
What would Max say when he realized that she’d lied to him? The very idea made her sick. Her skin was clammy and her stomach kept lurching as if she were on a raft in high seas. Seeing Zane standing among her friends sent her hand to her stomach in the futile attempt to quell the queasiness. She’d left his office the day before knowing she’d left herself wide open for a public confrontation. She’d like to think that even if Zane realized the truth, he wouldn’t make a scene…but she didn’t really know him. It was stupid on her part, but she really wasn’t thinking straight. How did a woman break such news to her son? She prayed God would help her figure this out. So far no light had appeared at the end of the long, dark tunnel she found herself in.
“Hey, there’s Gil. I’ll check ya later.” Max loped away.
She watched him go and felt a touch of relief knowing the inevitable might have been put off for a few minutes. Why hadn’t she figured out a way to tell him?
“Rose, over here,” Norma Sue hollered, waving her over. Rose paused and engrossed herself in digging a peppermint out of her purse. It was her only excuse for delaying moving toward Zane. Also, peppermint was good for a queasy stomach. Her fingers trembled as she unwrapped the candy and plopped it into her mouth. Sadly, there was no instant calm for her nerves.
Esther Mae and Norma Sue were both waving her forward now, with big rolling waves like traffic cops. She nodded and finally, with nothing else to put it off, she closed her eyes, prayed for guidance—intervention actually—and then willed herself to cross the yard.
You can do this, she coached herself.
She would do this. Could do this.
Deep breath. Another deep breath and steps in between had her moving across the lawn. Choices from the past yielded consequences—the truth exposed was of her own making. She’d lived almost half her life behind a mask of deception and as much as she despised it, she would do it for a bit longer if it meant clinging to her and Max’s make-believe life for a moment more.
She couldn’t help clinging to it for as long as possible, because she was terrified of how their relationship would forever be altered when he realized she’d lied to him.
Zane had been watching her approach, but she’d kept her gaze off him. Meeting his watchful stare would only make her queasiness worse—throwing up on the church lawn was not something she wanted to do. Thank goodness for the peppermint, though she realized she was really expecting a lot from the tiny piece of candy.
“Good morning,” she said, pleased that her voice sounded halfway normal. She continued to avoid Zane’s piercing gaze locked onto her like a missile to a target. Of course he had no idea the potentially explosive nature of their meeting here on the lawn of the quaint country church.
Rose scanned the small crowd. Who would discover her secret first? Who would recognize what they were looking at? The question loomed over her like a monster’s shadow—who would unwittingly expose her?
“How are you feeling today?” Esther Mae asked. She had on a pillbox hat with white and orange daisies and Rose concentrated on the flowers. It was a very subdued hat compared to Esther Mae’s favorite with big purple feathers. Sadly for Rose, the daisies weren’t distracting enough for her needs.
“Feeling?” she asked, trying to focus on why they were asking her how she was feeling.
“Yes, you left the shower so fast yesterday we worried you might have caught a bug or something.”
“Oh, that.” She was breathless and gave Esther Mae what she feared was a pitiful attempt of a smile. “Fine. I’m fine. Really,” she rambled, while her betraying gaze slid to Zane. He might seem at ease to the group, but she saw the keen watchful alertness in his lawman’s eyes and knew he was looking much deeper. Knew he understood she was on pins and needles. He just didn’t know why. She looked from Esther Mae to Norma Sue. “No bug here.” She forced a laugh that came off sounding exactly like the nervous laugh it was. “Just another case of prickly pear jam that needed to be put up,” she said lightly, when in reality her knees were buckling and she needed to lie down. No, what she needed was a little backbone.
“Zane, you are definitely going to have to try some of Rose’s jam,” Norma Sue said. “It’s good enough to make a grown man cry—”
“That’s the truth,” Esther Mae gushed. “Our Rose is the catch of the county. A cowboy would snatch her up in a second if he had any brains beneath his Stetson!”
“Is that right?” Zane asked, a chuckle underscoring his words. His grave eyes twinkled.
The heat of mortification flared across Rose’s clammy skin. Things couldn’t get any worse. But of course she knew they could…would.
Norma Sue didn’t even try to hide her matchmaking attempt. “Matter of fact, Rose has just gotten moved into her very own place out there in the country. It would probably be a good idea for you to keep a close watch on her place when you’re out making your rounds. You know, her being a single woman and all.”
“No!” Rose exclaimed. “Norma, I’m quite capable of taking care of myself,” she stammered over the candy in her mouth.
Zane had on his poker face, but she could tell he was amused as he crossed his arms and studied her. The way he used to. All those years ago, when they first met and she was an idealistic, naive twenty-year-old, and he was her sworn protector. What a lie that had been. It made her temperature boil and her spine stiffen. “Deputy Cantrell won’t have any reason for stopping by my place, I can assure you.” She gave him a cool look that caused Esther Mae to gasp and Norma Sue’s brows to dip in consternation. Since coming to Mule Hollow she’d been nothing but grateful and thrilled to be here. She didn’t like this side of herself and didn’t appreciate Zane for coming here and provoking her!
“When you need help, you just call,” Zane said, as if he hadn’t heard her jibe! “I’ll be there for you. I promise.”
Oh, right, just like before. Rose went straight from feeling sick to furious. “I’m sure all of Mule Hollow will rest easier knowing you are so very reliable,” she practically sneered. Her sarcasm was so unlike her that it brought another g
asp from Esther Mae.
“W-we certainly will,” Norma Sue said, finally getting over her uncharacteristic loss of words. Looking from Rose to Zane, she grinned so wide her plump cheeks almost touched her eyes. “We were just telling Zane that he reminds us of someone. What do you think?” She slapped her hands on her ample hips and studied him intently. “You got any ideas, Rose?”
Rose’s heart plummeted as her fear replaced everything. This was it. She could see Max written all over Zane, not only his smile and his eyes, but in the way he stood, the tone of his voice…There was no way—no way—she was the only one who could see this! What could she say?
The corner of Zane’s lips lifted. “Applegate, Stanley and Sam thought the same thing. I guess I have a twin.”
Rose clamped her teeth together, sending the peppermint right down her windpipe!
She wheezed and her eyes watered.
Norma Sue slapped her on the back. “You okay?”
“Y-yes,” she gasped as her mind whirled. She had to act. Had to do something before they figured it out right then and there. She needed a little more time. “Oh, goodness, it’s time for class,” she gushed and grabbed Zane’s arm. “Come with me. I’ll show you to our classroom. I’m sure Sheriff Brady already informed you that he’s the teacher of the singles class,” she said, tugging him along. “Bye, ladies,” she called over her shoulder, then frowned up at Zane. He was looking at her like she’d lost her marbles.
The ladies’ excited voices carried on the breeze behind them. “Oh, Norma, that’s perfect!” Esther Mae exclaimed. “Don’t they look cute together?”
“Sure do.”
The confusion and curiosity in sharp-as-a-tack Norma Sue’s voice caused Rose to cringe, but she continued to pull Zane along the sidewalk. She ignored the surprise she’d seen in his eyes. She knew full well that her escorting him around was the last thing he’d expected. He was a lawman through and through and had to be wondering why she was acting so erratically.
Texas Ranger Dad Page 3