She had to pull herself together. But she also couldn’t just stand there and wait while Norma and Esther put two and two together. This was all she could come up with. “Don’t look at me that way,” she snapped, dragging him on with little resistance.
“And how would that be?”
“Like I’ve lost my mind.”
He chuckled, a low rumble that sent her senses tumbling. “Have you?”
She turned on him a few feet from the annex entrance. “No. I certainly have not,” she hissed, leaning close so no one would hear. “You know very well it is your impromptu visit that has me choking on peppermints. Sweating bullets. Acting like an ill-mannered—”
“Rose. Calm down.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down. You’ve come barging into my life. My territory. With no consideration for the life I’m building here.”
“Rose, I’m sorry.”
He took her by the shoulders and she froze at his touch; his palms were warm against her bare skin and sent shivers racing through her.
“I tried to explain. You wouldn’t let me. Would you look at me? Please.”
Reluctantly, Rose did as he asked. It was a bad move, because looking at Zane almost made her believe he was sincere. And if there was one thing she’d learned about Zane Cantrell, it was to never believe he was sincere.
Even after all this time the realization had the ability to knock the breath out of her. It bothered her that he could still have that power. “We need to go inside,” she said. Pulling away from his touch, she yanked open the door and led the way into the building.
Her life was falling apart and she didn’t know what to do!
Brady had been the first to invite Zane to church when he’d arrived in town. Zane tried to concentrate on the lesson Brady was teaching, but it was useless because all he could think about was that Rose hated him.
He wasn’t sure why she’d dragged him into the class with her in the first place. Not when it was clear that him jumping off the edge of the world would have been her first choice.
The woman’s scorn was epic.
That they’d very nearly had an altercation out in front of the church hadn’t been something he’d been prepared for. The Rose he’d known and loved had been idealistic, warmhearted—spirited, yes, but unbelievably gentle. He didn’t know the Rose sitting rigidly beside him.
Earlier, he’d watched her and her son as they’d exited their car and then walked across the gravel parking lot toward the church. She hadn’t looked happy even then. Though he hadn’t gotten a close look at her son before he’d disappeared inside the annex, he’d been surprised to realize how tall the youth was.
He had to admit that it was hard to realize that Rose had a teenage son. Seeing her with a child was another reminder of all the years Zane had foolishly let stretch between them. He had a bad feeling that his coming to Mule Hollow was a futile attempt and that no reconciliation would be had between him and the only woman he’d ever loved.
He’d known he had his work cut out for him when he came searching for her. And he’d been right.
Chapter Five
The instant Brady finished giving the final prayer, Rose left the classroom. The hallway was packed as everyone headed toward the exits before walking up the sidewalk to the front of the church for morning services.
Rose greeted everyone she had to, but was intent on getting outside and going home. No church for her today. She’d realized she couldn’t continue this way. She had to get Max home and come clean.
Her throat clogged thinking about what he was going to do. She’d lied to him about one of the most important things in his life. Rose knew now that she couldn’t take the chance on it coming out before she’d told him. Maybe she was just being paranoid thinking anyone other than Zane could possibly put the pieces together. Who could do that? No one even knew they’d known each other before. Still, irrational as it was, the fear clung to her.
Dear Lord, help me, she prayed as she walked outside. Help me. She felt like such a hypocrite asking for help when she’d been so wrong in everything she’d done.
She could hear Zane behind her at the door as he was greeted by people. The man had only been in town a few days and already seemed to know everyone. She scanned the lawn, looking for Max. She had to get to him. Not seeing him, she turned to search behind her in the moving crowd. No Max. Instead she found herself looking straight at Zane. He was mere inches from her and his eyes were troubled.
“We really need to talk,” he said quietly, leaning close. “This is not the way things need to be.”
She swallowed hard. He had no idea the strain that was weighing on her. Before she could say anything more, Esther Mae and Norma Sue were back upon them.
“Zane, yoo-hoo!” Esther Mae said, waving as she plowed the way in front of Norma Sue. “We just had to come look at you again. We can almost see who it is you look like, but it won’t come to us.” Barreling to a halt, they studied him as though he was the latest exhibit at an art show.
Rose wanted to yell fire or something! Anything to prevent this scrutiny. Her gaze slunk from them to Zane. His golden eyes were sparkling as he smiled that devastating smile of his at the older ladies. Rose’s adrenaline was pumping so she could hardly breathe. Then from the corner of her eye she saw Applegate and Stanley burst from the annex exit. They headed straight toward them. Rose groaned because their keen eyes were glued to Zane as they stopped before him. And her nightmare was about to come full circle, because Max and his friend Gil were coming out of the annex, too.
“I told ya, Stanley. I told ya,” Applegate said. “Don’t ya see it? Jest look close. It’s jest plain uncanny. That’s what it is.”
Stanley scratched his bald spot and his eyes widened. “Well, what do ya know? Yor plum right, App.” Both men looked from Zane to Max, who was approaching Rose and the rest of the gathering crowd. Rose was heading for the edge of Niagara Falls. There was nothing humanly possible that she could do to stop going over the edge.
Max and Gil came to a halt in front of Zane. Oblivious to everyone’s stares, both boys looked at Zane in awe. Max’s eyes glittered gold in the sunlight. He might as well have been wearing a sign proclaiming his identity.
“You must be the new deputy. The Texas Ranger. This is Gil and I’m Max.” He smiled openly at Zane.
The admiration in his warm eyes caused a deep ache in Rose’s heart. Her son had just met his dad and he had no idea…Shame engulfed her. Max believed his dad was a lowlife they’d had to escape and then hide from for years until he had finally given up hunting them. He was a man to be ashamed of and feared. And, now, Max was about to learn that his mother was a liar. Dear Lord, what have I done?
Esther Mae’s gasp was loud enough to draw looks from the far corners of the world. Beside her, Norma Sue’s mouth fell open. Rose felt faint and quickly scanned the gathering group. Applegate and Stanley were gaping, too. Of course, none of them realized exactly what they were seeing—they just saw the startling resemblance.
But she knew that Zane, frozen, his jaw slack, his brows dipping together over stunned eyes, knew exactly what he was looking at. His son.
Rose had no doubt that he understood what he was seeing when he tore his gaze from Max and planted them on her.
“Mom, hey,” Max said, breaking into her thoughts. “Do you feel bad? You don’t look so good.”
Rose grabbed his arm. “I—I need to go home,” she stuttered, tugging him back a step, meeting his worried eyes.
“Sure. Maybe you got a bug or something. See y’all later,” he said, glancing at the small group.
Rose did the same and didn’t miss the stunned looks everyone was still wearing.
“Do you need any help?” Esther Mae asked as did several others. “Maybe Zane could drive you home. You look like you’re going to faint.”
“No!” The last thing she needed was Zane’s help. And one look at the dark expression on his face told her a storm like nothing she’d e
ver seen was brewing. “I’ll be fine.” She clung to Max’s arm as they headed toward the parking lot. She could feel Zane’s eyes boring into her back and was thankful that he chose not to make a scene.
“Everyone sure was looking weird,” Max said as soon as they got in the car. “You’d think they never saw a sick woman before. You sure you can drive?”
Rose nodded and proved it by sticking the key in the ignition and twisting. Her hands shook as she put the car in Reverse, but as soon as they were heading out of the parking lot she felt a bit better. Just getting away from Zane for a moment was a relief.
“Did you see the look on Ranger Cantrell’s face?” Max asked. “He looked kind of scary. For a minute there I thought I’d done something wrong.”
Rose ran over a pothole in the pavement and the car jerked. “Sorry,” she gasped as she and Max bounced roughly. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Max laughed. “I figured that out soon as I looked at you. Who’d have thought a Ranger would be scared of a woman upchucking!”
Rose didn’t laugh as she glanced at Max. He was so happy.
He met her eyes. “Mom, what’s wrong? You look like you’re about to cry,” he said, and the smile immediately faded from his face. “Mom?”
Rose inhaled and glued her eyes to the road. How was she going to tell him what was really wrong with Zane?
“Mom, please tell me you aren’t fixin’ to tell me we’re leaving.”
“You okay?” Applegate asked. His loud voice added to the pounding in Zane’s head. It brought him back to his surroundings and he became aware of Norma Sue and Esther Mae whispering to each other while Applegate and Stanley openly stared at him. They’d seen exactly what he’d seen. But, obviously, they didn’t know the truth of it.
They didn’t understand that it wasn’t some uncanny fluke that Max and him looked so much alike. In reality if it hadn’t been for the eyes and the smile they would have only resembled each other like people do. But it was the Cantrell eyes and smile that had them speechless. They didn’t know that the genetic pool had been passing that same magnetic smile and glittering, amber eye color to Cantrell men for generations.
He had a son.
Rose hadn’t said so—she didn’t need to. Max was his. It had been like looking at a teenage version of himself. How could this be?
His head was pounding like it would explode. For nearly fifteen years he’d believed that Rose was the most honest woman he’d ever met and her integrity was above reproach. How could she have kept this from him? He focused on the group around him. Focused on covering up the emotions that were raw and exposed.
“I’m fine,” he said.
Stanley scratched his head. “That thar is jest plain somethin’. It’d been a shock to me, too, ta see somebody wearin’ my face.”
“’At’s the truth,” Applegate grunted. “I told ya him and Max looked alike. It’s the eyes and that thar smile.”
“The two of you could be related,” Esther Mae said. “Me and Norma Sue were speechless there for a minute.”
“And that’s saying a whole heap.” Applegate cocked a bushy gray brow at him. “It jest don’t never happen.”
Stanley wagged his head to and fro. “Esther Mae’s right, though.”
“Son, did you and Rose—” Norma Sue began, then slammed her mouth shut and colored slightly. “Forget I said that.”
Zane was already walking off, heading for his truck. He had a son.
A half-grown son. And it was obvious that Max was as clueless as he was.
“The witness protection program,” Max said, clearly confused.
They were sitting in lawn chairs next to the house. It had been as far as Rose’s legs could carry her. In the car she’d assured him that they weren’t leaving but that she had something very important to tell him, but that it had to wait until they got home. She’d finally forced herself to just say it. Now, she nodded, giving him a moment to process the information.
“But that’s for mobsters, isn’t it?”
“Not always. Sometimes, innocent bystanders see something that puts them in danger and then they have to go into the program for the protection of themselves and their family. That’s what happened to me.”
“Wow,” he said, interest replacing the confusion in his words. “You saw a murder? Were you scared?”
She nodded again and swallowed the lump forming in her throat.
“And then they saw you and tried to kill you? Like in the movies? Did you have to run? Did they shoot at you?”
His questions flew at her like buckshot. She had to hold her hand up to get him to pause. “It wasn’t like that,” she said. “The man didn’t actually see me. I went to the police and picked him out of a police lineup.”
“Cool,” Max said. “But how did he know it was you if he didn’t see you?”
“He was a very bad man. He had connections. The police had already explained to me that I might have to go into the witness protection program.”
“Wow,” he said again. “It’s just like an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger!”
Though Max had loved that popular TV show, she’d never been able to sit through a full episode because it always caused bad memories of Zane to surface. “Sort of,” she said, and then answered some of his questions.
“But why didn’t Grandma come with you?”
Rose’s mother had gotten pregnant just out of high school and died giving birth to Rose. She’d never known who her dad was. The only people she had in her life were her grandmother and grandfather, who had passed away when she was ten. Though Max hadn’t been born before her grandmother died, Rose had told him many stories. She just hadn’t told him all of them.
“She couldn’t bring herself to leave the house she’d lived in for almost fifty years. It was the home she’d shared with your grandfather. And all of her friends were there.”
“But didn’t she love you? Didn’t she want to be with you?”
“That’s the hard part. Yes, she did. But she had health issues, too. And she feared that somehow medical records could lead the man I was hiding from to me.”
“Oh. But don’t they protect you from all of that?”
“Yes, they do, but things happen. When there is a chance that you’ve been located they hide you somewhere else. Gram couldn’t have handled all the moving. But she wanted me to be safe. Leaving her behind almost killed me. Even now, thinking about it is hard. But the Texas Ranger who helped me explained all of this to us and that was the decision we had to make. We shared letters. They were passed through the Justice Department and when Gram got really ill I was able to see her before she died.”
He looked stunned by the information overload. Poor kid had no idea that it only got worse.
“So, are we still in it?” he asked. “I mean, is somebody out there still trying to kill you?”
She shook her head. “Oh, no. We’re safe now. All that was before you were born. The man I sent to prison was killed there and so I was able to take back my real name. When I married David I’d been out of the program for about four months.”
He studied her and she could see the wheels turning behind his eyes. “So, us always moving—we were really hiding from my dad? All that is real?”
She nodded. She’d had to be honest with him when he was young about the fact that they were hiding from David. He’d had to know not to trust him and not to go anywhere with David if he showed up trying to snatch him. “Unfortunately, that was true, too. Everything about your past is authentic.” Rose’s panic stole her breath. “Except…”
He straightened, locking his shoulders back and looking so much like his dad. Over the years every time he’d made this move she’d pictured Zane. One day that chest would be wide and strong and those shoulders would look as if they could take on the world.
“You can tell me, Mom. I can handle it,” he said, sensing her fear.
She closed her eyes and prayed God would be with the words. Prayed th
at He would help Max as he took in what she was about to reveal. A tear slipped out and she brushed it away with trembling fingertips.
“Mom—”
She patted his hand and waved off his concern. “Listen, Max. Deputy Cantrell was the Texas Ranger who protected me when I first went into the program—”
“You knew him! Cool. Did you know he was moving here?” Then his expression clouded with confusion. “But wait, you guys didn’t say you knew each other.”
“No. He didn’t tell anyone and I, well, I didn’t know he was coming here until the day I met him on the street. I haven’t spoken to him in over fourteen years. Not since he left my case. But—” she stopped and took a deep breath “—I was confused, and scared when I knew Zane. And I made a choice that was wrong. I didn’t know the Lord at that point either…and I fell in love—no, I believed I was in love with Zane. And, you know how we’ve talked about you being abstinent until you fall in love and get married.” He nodded. She knew he hated talking about this, but she’d insisted. Her mother had made the mistake. Because of her history, she’d made it a priority to be honest and open about relationships. Until now, he hadn’t known her frankness came from her own experience. Looking at him, she paused. How could she tell him that she’d made a mistake but that he was a blessing at the same time?
Keep going.
“Max. What I’m trying to tell you is that Zane is your father.” She said the words and the entire world came to a screeching halt. There was no sound. There was nothing but the fear that she’d just lost the most precious thing in her life. Her son’s trust.
“Wait, my dad isn’t…” He paused on David’s name. She’d gotten him away from David early enough and Max had stopped calling David his dad long ago. Max didn’t talk about him and despised the fact that he’d beaten her. Oh, how she’d longed to erase David’s name from Max’s birth certificate and to tell Max the truth.
“No, he isn’t.”
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