Texas Ranger Dad
Page 10
He looked down at the pathetic piece of blackened mush in his hand. He had absolutely no idea what he was doing with Rose or with torching this tuna. All he knew was that when Max had asked Zane to help Rose, he’d said yes. Part of it was because she’d looked lost in church the previous morning after Max had chosen to sit with him. Despite feeling pleasure that his son wanted to sit beside him, Zane had felt no joy in seeing Rose sitting alone.
Not that she would welcome his sentiment. Oh, no. The woman wasn’t happy having him here. And, he thought with a rueful smile, if he ruined all of her fruit she would run him off the property with a stick. So he wouldn’t ruin it, he thought. He dropped the charred tuna to the side and picked up another one. The hairlike stickers were coming off this time—and only the stickers. He’d watched Max take care of business the week before and so he’d had a great teacher. And as he aimed the flame, he knew working would be much easier without Rose standing near, distracting him with that cute glare of hers.
An hour later when she returned with three buckets filled up and one only half full he had a pile of perfectly toasted tuna. There was plenty still waiting on him, though, so he didn’t slow down.
His jaw itched slightly and he rubbed the back of his glove along it and kept on working.
“You’re doing good.”
Her compliment was unexpected. “I had a good teacher. I just had to concentrate on what he taught me.”
She’d calmed down, it seemed. He was relieved, watching as she emptied one bucket onto the table and rinsed it out at the hydrant before she started refilling it with his crispy masterpieces. He enjoyed the moment of quiet calm between them. Even though it was clear her mind was working overtime. He could see it in the set of her jaw, the tilt of her head—it had been that way when he’d first met her. They’d had to spend a lot of time alone and she sat near the fireplace of the safe house and simply watched the fire burn. And he watched her. He’d tried not to, but she’d just drawn him like no other woman he’d ever been around. Before long he’d come to recognize when her thoughts were on her grandmother. She never said she regretted the choice she’d had to make to leave her behind, but he knew it hurt. He wondered, if time were reversed, would she make the same choice knowing what she did now?
He hadn’t known the feeling from personal experience until he’d made the decision to leave her, only then did he finally understand exactly what he’d been asking people to do all those years. Only then did he understand how much it ripped out their hearts to walk away.
“You have a limp.”
At her soft words the torch slipped a little and he singed the end of his glove with the flame. “And here I thought I’d gotten rid of it.” He wasn’t sure whether to be irritated that it was still noticeable if someone looked closely enough. Or whether to be encouraged that Rose had just given away the fact that she had looked that closely at him. He’d admitted he’d come here because he couldn’t stop thinking about her. But did he want to open up his past to her?
“Was it something from your work?”
“You should know men don’t like to talk about their ailments with ladies.”
“Were you hurt badly?”
He cocked his head and frowned. “Take a hint. I’d rather not talk about this. Of all the things we could talk about, this is not it.”
“But this is what I want to talk about.”
“I could leave.”
“Fine with me. I didn’t ask you here in the first place.”
She stared unblinking at him.
He shook his head and gave in—to a point. “Yes, it was work. And, yes, it was bad.”
“And?”
“And it took some work to get over. Those twenty steps up to my apartment along with other morning exercises are whipping the final tail end of it.” His face was burning where it had been itching earlier. He wiped it hard with his gloved fingers.
“Oh! What are you doing?” Her eyes flared at the same time that she grabbed on to his wrist and yanked his fingers from his face.
“I have an itch. I’m scratching it.”
“Put that down,” she demanded, forcing the tuna to fall out of his hand onto the table. “And shut that torch off! Now.”
He did as she said, one-handed, not sure why she was so angry. She tore her goggles off her head and tugged their gloves off as she glared at him.
“What?” he asked, really needing to scratch his face.
“I told you not to touch your face.”
True, they’d moved on from his injury, but this was not good. And his face was really itching. Burning.
“Come to the house. Don’t touch anything.”
He followed her as she stormed into the house.
“Sit,” she demanded the moment he entered the kitchen behind her. She had her back to him and was digging through a drawer.
His face was really burning and by now he understood his stupidity. Understood exactly what he’d done. His right jaw was on fire and the culprit was a bunch of tiny cactus stickers.
“Where is it?” Rose growled, slamming one drawer shut and yanking open another. He had no idea what she was looking for, but he was surely hoping she found it and soon.
“Got it!” she exclaimed, spinning around with a roll of silver duct tape held high.
“What is that for?”
She pulled a length out, bit it with her teeth to start the tear and then ripped it off. “Believe it or not, this is the best way to get those spines out of your jaw.”
He refused to run but this didn’t look good.
“Don’t look so terrified.”
“I do not look terrified,” he denied. Turning his jaw away as she came at him with the strip of tape that was well-known for its extra firm contact. His jaw could not take extra firm. It felt raw.
“If you’re not terrified, then don’t turn away,” she said.
He gritted his teeth, his jaw flexed and he forced himself to angle it toward her. This was not going to be pleasant. Might even be worse than a trip to the dentist with the way his jaw was sizzling.
She stepped close. “I promise this will help,” she said gently. Her sweet breath feathered across his jaw and soothed his soul. “I believe you,” he murmured, perfectly still as she laid the tape across his skin. His gaze roved over her face as her fingers trembled against his jaw. He sought her eyes with his own. Their stormy-night darkness called to him.
He swallowed hard; automatically his hand found her waist and he tugged her a step closer…she closed her eyes for a second, her fingers stilled—she was thinking about kissing him as much as he was thinking about kissing her. He smiled just as she opened her eyes and ripped the tape off his jaw!
Chapter Thirteen
“You didn’t have to enjoy that so much!” Zane cupped his sticker-free jaw and glared at Rose. He wasn’t so sure she hadn’t taken skin with the stickers.
“You need to leave,” she said, wadding the duct tape into a ball, matching his glare with her own.
Zane rubbed his jaw and stared at her. Yes, he lost his head a bit but this was overreacting in a big way. “Don’t you think this cat-and-mouse thing has gone on too long? We have to get everything out on the table so we can stop all this foolishness.”
“Cat and mouse! Is that what you think I’m doing? Playing games with you?”
“No.” He shoved a hand through his hair. She was making him crazy! He moved toward her but she backed away. “Rose,” he said, as they two-stepped until she backed into the counter. “You have become one stubborn woman over the years.”
“I became what I needed to become, thank you very much.”
Zane couldn’t stand seeing her bitter, especially knowing he’d caused it, no matter what she’d kept from him. “I’m sorry I left without explaining myself,” he said, taking her by the shoulders. She tensed, but her eyes melted for a moment and his heart stalled. “So much has happened that I regret,” he said softly. “I missed you so much after I left.”
He couldn’t stop himself from lifting one hand to stroke her cheek. “For the first time ever, I understood what it was like to leave behind someone you cared for deeply. All those years I’d watched witnesses leave family and friends, but had never experienced it for myself. Leaving you made me suffer like you suffered when you left your grandmother behind.” He searched her eyes as he lowered his lips toward hers. He’d dreamed of kissing her again for years.
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” she growled, shrugging his hand off her shoulder and pushing past him.
Zane closed his eyes and berated his bad timing before turning around. She was standing at the door, holding it wide.
“I want you to leave.”
Zane was confused. Maybe he shouldn’t have tried to kiss her. But he’d just opened his heart to her. “Rose, I thought—”
“What? That your little emotional confession was supposed to make me feel better? That one confession and all was right in the world. Here’s a news flash for you. If I had been given the option of going back to my gram, I’d have gone in an instant. So don’t tell me you suffered what I suffered. You didn’t come back.”
He’d made a mess of things. “Rose, it wasn’t that easy—”
“Oh, really. You want me to tell you a little bit about something not being easy? Because I can do that, Zane. Finding out I was pregnant and you were nowhere to be found…Forgive me if I don’t cry for you.” She was trembling and the sight tore him up.
“I’m going to go and let you calm down.” He paused beside her.
She crossed her arms and set her lips firmly together.
He should go. He knew it but, looking into her eyes, he couldn’t do it. Not this time. “I felt like I’d taken advantage of you. I knew you were sad, lonely, and in desperate need of a friend…I was supposed to be your protector. I wasn’t supposed to use your situation to my advantage.” Surely she could see his side of this.
“And is that what you did? Is that what I was to you, just an easy target?”
“Never.” How could he make her understand? “I had never crossed from professional distance into the realm of…having a personal relationship. Of falling for someone.”
She dropped her gaze to the floor. But not before he saw her pain.
“I took advantage of you. No excuse.” He’d told himself that maybe she didn’t see it that way, but he knew she must. It stung while at the same time he knew it was the truth. “That’s why I didn’t come back for you. I came to Mule Hollow to ask you to forgive me. For everything.”
Rose pulled out of his grasp and stalked onto the porch. He went after her. She was in the yard before she finally spun to face him again.
“For years I’ve taught Max that he’s responsible for his actions,” she said in a softly controlled voice. “The Bible is very plain about that. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Yes, but—”
“I was a consenting adult, Zane. I was responsible for all of my actions. Yes, I was vulnerable. But I knew what I was doing when I stepped out onto that patio after you’d told me not to. And I also knew what I was doing when I let our relationship get personal. I made that choice. Yes, it was wrong. Obviously, I believed there was more to our relationship than was actually there…but don’t belittle me.”
Zane was confused. “Belittle you?”
“Yes. Those were my choices. Right or wrong I made them. Don’t stand there and say my every move was orchestrated by you. It insults me.”
“What?”
Her eyes flashed. “You are standing there in my front yard telling me that I was so stupid that I could be suckered and that’s why you ran away and didn’t come back! Just leave.”
“That isn’t what I said. How did you get that out of what I said?”
“Leave. Don’t come back.” She stomped to his truck and yanked open the door. “Here, I’ll show you the way.”
Totally and completely baffled, he couldn’t move. She, on the other hand, stormed past him, up the steps of her house and slammed the door behind her.
He’d almost kissed her—but worse, she’d almost let him.
Rose didn’t stop until she reached her bedroom and had slammed that door, too…she needed as much space between her and Zane as she could get.
Oh, goodness, but she had almost crumbled when he’d wrapped his arms around her and drew her close. How was she going to manage this?
Her heart was still thundering and her legs wouldn’t carry her weight any longer. She sank to the stool in front of her dressing table, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks were hot pink. She sucked in a halting breath and blinked back the tears threatening to pour out of her eyes. Mad tears. Sad tears. Tears of frustration.
She’d gone out into the cactus field when he’d first arrived, determined not to need help. And now look at her. She’d picked a fight with him so she wouldn’t kiss him!
Of course there was consolation in the fact that picking the fight was truly over an issue that was real.
He had told her in so many words that he hadn’t come back for her because he felt she was too incompetent to know her own mind. How humiliating was that?
He’d thought she was of a mature, sound mind when she’d chosen to testify and give up her life to go into the WITSEC program. But when it came to being mature enough to comprehend that she’d fallen in love with him—according to him she wasn’t capable of that.
She sniffed and grabbed a tissue. Yes, she was vulnerable. Yes, there were extenuating circumstances that influenced the choices she’d made. But she had loved him. And how dare that man tell her what she’d felt hadn’t been real.
How dare he tell her that because of that he hadn’t come back!
All this time she’d felt a guilt deep down inside for keeping Max hidden from him. It was true. She could admit it now…because today Zane had liberated her from that guilt. It was his own fault that he hadn’t known about Max. Zane was the one who’d walked away.
And she was really angry about it. Dear Lord, she prayed. Please help me cope with this anger…and please turn my thoughts from how wonderful his embrace felt!
Rose truly believed that God had a plan for her life. That He had been with her through everything and that in her trials He was teaching her something. She’d become more reliant on Him during her strange life and she’d learned to be strong and have a great compassion for women in similar circumstances. But she could not understand what she could gain from this torture.
And it honestly made her angry at Zane and at God.
“I think everything is in order,” Brady said the following day, closing his desk drawer and pushing out of his chair. “I’ll be at the hospital if you need me. But unless it’s something I absolutely have to be involved in, I’m leaving everything in your hands.”
Zane gave his boss a reassuring nod. “You can count on me. Now go take care of your wife.”
The doctors had admitted Dottie into the hospital the day before. Her blood pressure had risen so high they were worried about her and the baby. The last thing Brady needed on his mind was work. Brady shook his hand in a firm grip.
“Thanks. Dottie was right. Your coming here for the job was a godsend.”
Zane opened the door for him. “Go. Tell Dottie I’m praying for her. Everyone is.”
They walked out onto the sidewalk just as a small crowd came around the corner from Main Street.
“Looks like everyone’s heard the news,” Zane said.
Brady nodded. “They’re good people.”
“Hold up,” Norma Sue called. “No pun intended,” she said, barreling to a halt. The usual suspects flanked her. Esther Mae, Adela. Behind them, Applegate and Stanley. Sam and Pete, who’d obviously closed up shops for a few minutes. Behind them was Lacy and Sheri from the hair salon along with the gals from the real estate office, and also the candy store. And bringing up the end was Rose and Ashby.
“Did y’all just close down the town?” Brady asked,
clearly touched by the show of support.
“’Course we did,” Sam said. He stepped up and handed Brady an envelope. “That thar’s a little collection we took up to help with your expenses while you’re a hangin’ around the hospital.”
Brady stared at the envelope. “I don’t know what to say,” he said at last. “Y’all didn’t have to do this.”
“We know.” Lacy stepped up and gave him a hug. “We just want you and Dottie to know we love you and will be praying for you all.”
Applegate gave a quick grin. “If you don’t want to use it fer lunch money then buy that little woman some flours.”
“Flowers,” Sam amended, causing everyone to chuckle.
App scowled. “Cain’t you hear? That’s what I said. Buy her some purdy flours.”
Zane caught Rose’s eye as she bit her lip and her eyes crinkled with laughter. He was still completely confused by their quarrel the day before. He’d realized that he didn’t really know Rose. He’d thought he’d known her, but these couple of weeks in Mule Hollow were showing him that the girl he’d protected had become a woman, a mother. She caught him watching her and her expression went cool and remote. She cut her gaze away from him.
Brady cleared his throat and looked touched. “Thank y’all for coming down here and for this. I think that’s a great idea, App. Dottie is going to feel real special.”
Zane found himself wondering if anyone had ever given Rose flowers. If anyone had ever really made Rose feel special? He moved to the side as everyone gave Brady a hug and then they bowed their heads as Sam said a prayer for God to keep Dottie and the baby safe.
Rose stood with her head bowed and Zane found himself watching her. All types of questions started forming in his head about her. How had her pregnancy gone? Did she have anyone there who cared for her? Who prayed over her? Did David mistreat her while she was carrying Max? How had she felt when she realized she was pregnant and the father of her baby had skipped out on her? His stomach lurched and he loathed himself more in that moment than he ever imagined possible. He knew exactly how she’d felt, because she’d panicked and married a lowlife. Dear God, he prayed, blinking back the heat of tears. He had botched up her life. She may have made her own choices, as she’d pointed out so strongly to him. But no man with any integrity would let her take full responsibility. No, he shared in what had happened in her life. He should have been there for her. If he had been there for her, then he would have been there for their son.