Texas Ranger Dad

by Debra Clopton

  How could she tell him this wasn’t going to work?

  “After you,” Zane said, looking as impish as his son. His hand on her arm, he guided her to her chair. The electrical current of his touch vaporized her welling tears. Her heart began pounding like an electric drum.

  No sooner had he sat down across from her than Max grabbed a pitcher of tea from a table against the wall and carefully poured tea into their glasses. A romantic, Italian ballad played in the background.

  “Y’all visit,” Max said. “I’ll be back with your food, but it won’t be too soon.”

  Zane chuckled as soon as Max disappeared, and Rose kicked him under the table.

  “Kicking me isn’t going to stop me from enjoying this.”

  “Well, don’t enjoy it too much,” she warned, as much for him as for herself. She had to keep her common sense through this. Nothing had changed between them. But that didn’t stop her heart from thudding as Zane laid his hand on top of hers.

  “I always enjoy being around you.”

  She took a deep breath denying that his words didn’t mean something to her. Her gaze dropped to their hands, but her throat wouldn’t work.

  “And I also care about every aspect of your life,” he added, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. “I know you are upset with me. But I wish you would give me—us—a chance. You have to know by now that I’m sorry for leaving.”

  Every nerve in her body came alive at his gentle touch. Every emotion in her heart reacted to his plea.

  She tugged her hand from beneath his and placed it in her lap. “Zane—” She felt trapped.

  “Wait,” he said, cutting off her protest with a knowing smile. “Before you tell me that’s a crazy idea, let’s back up and talk about something else. How did your road trip go Saturday?”

  He was purposely changing the subject, and Rose was actually thankful to take the conversation to a safe topic. “Not as good as I’d hoped, but it’s still a start.”

  He placed his elbows on the table and cupped his hands. “When do you go to the bank?”

  What? How did he know—

  “Don’t look so startled. Remember, Max told me that you were trying to get a loan so you could expand.”

  Max. “Next Monday,” she said, having forgotten that exchange. She wondered what else about her personal business Max had been telling him.

  “Do you think you’ll get the business loan?”

  She pulled her napkin off her plate and smoothed it across her lap. So maybe this wasn’t such a safe topic after all. It was very personal to discuss her financial situation. But then, again, what did she have to hide? “I’m not sure. I think the plan is solid and I’m not really asking for that much. But I don’t have a very long credit history. And it does have a few blank spots, as you know.”

  He grimaced, knowing she was referring to the program. “I could make some calls.”

  “No. I don’t want the Justice Department involved in my life anymore,” she said and meant it.

  “Okay. Don’t get agitated. I don’t understand your reasoning, but I’ll respect it. Can I ask how you bought this place?”

  “The owners financed it for me on the recommendation of my friends here in town. The town’s done so much for everyone who came here from the shelter.”

  “What if a friend wanted to finance your business?”

  “If you’re saying you would do that then the answer is a firm no.”

  “Why not? I believe in the idea. I believe in you and Max. And I have a personal interest in it.”

  This topic had quickly gone south. “Just because Max is your son doesn’t mean—”

  Zane reached across the table and laid his hand over hers again. She was going to have to remember to keep her hands off the table!

  “Max is an interest…but I was talking about you.”

  “Zane—”

  The door creaked open and Rose yanked her hand from Zane’s. She bit her upper lip as Max entered, carrying a large tray. He set the tray on the table where he’d placed the tea pitcher earlier. When he turned to them, he was carrying a basket of bread. He grinned as he placed it on the table.

  Though they were being served Italian food, Rose was very aware that there was no garlic on the bread. That little scoundrel!

  Still, though she was upset, she couldn’t say anything. Instead she watched him retrieve plates of steaming spaghetti from the tray and set them in front of her and Zane.

  “Sam made this, so y’all know it’s going to be delicious.”

  “Sam,” she said, startled.

  “Yeah, good ol’ Sam to the rescue,” he said, and winked at her. “Now, this night is for y’all. Eat, drink and have a good time. Talk. Relax. I’ll bring dessert later. But take your time. Enjoy.”

  Enjoy! She felt like she was in a squeeze chute looking from Max to Zane!

  She had to put a stop to this before it got any further out of control. She started to stand, but Zane’s hand on her arm stopped her.

  “Thank you, son,” he said, gently pressing her arm. She relaxed into her seat, holding his gaze.

  “Okay, then,” Max said, drawing her to look up at him. He wore the bright, expectant look of a puppy as he took one more look at his handiwork before heading out the door, wearing his heart on his sleeve.

  Oh, Max.

  Rose didn’t know whether to laugh or cry watching him disappear. When he firmly closed the barn door she glared at Zane, feeling trapped.

  “Bread?” Zane asked, cocking a brow and holding the basket up. “I’m planning to do as he says and enjoy this moment. How about you? Are you game to push everything aside for the evening and just be two people on a date?” His eyes twinkled like amber honey in sunlight…or candlelight to be more dangerously exact.

  The food smelled fabulous. The soft music was romantic. And Zane Cantrell by candlelight was quite honestly irresistible. Rose took a shuddering breath…What to do?

  With a sigh, she did the only thing she could do under the circumstances.

  She nodded.

  “But this is just for tonight. Don’t get any ideas,” she said, pulling her head out of the clouds and planting her feet firmly on solid ground. Irresistible or not, Zane was not getting under her skin.

  “Scout’s honor. I won’t get any ideas.”

  The man thought he was so cute—that he was cute was irrelevant. Everyone was getting what they wanted tonight while she was being forced into an impossible situation. “I mean it, Zane. We are pretending to be two normal people on a normal date. That’s all. But for the record, I don’t believe this is good for Max. It’s only giving him mixed signals. And it’s promoting behavior that I’m not all that thrilled with. I’ve already told him that he needs to forget this idea that you and I are going to get together.”

  Zane’s jaw tightened. “Are you going to start pretending any time soon? Because I’m not feeling it yet.”

  She’d aggravated him. Well, it couldn’t be helped. “Fine,” she grunted and took an exaggerated breath, expelling it slowly. “Okay. Let the show begin.”

  His lips flattened momentarily and he looked like Max when he was contemplating something seriously. “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. She decided that she could use the time to assuage her relentless curiosity about the years between the last time she’d seen him and his reappearance. There were burning questions that begged to be answered. And since this truce was his idea, he could pay for it with information.

  “So,” she began, taking a piece of bread from the basket he’d been patiently holding out to her. Her taking the bread was the ultimate symbol of a truce. He looked pleased with himself when she took a slice. He did the same.

  “So,” he echoed.

  Her insides fluttered like new wings on a butterfly, acknowledging things she didn’t want to acknowledge. What if this was truly a beginning? What if she really let her defenses down and believed happy endings happen to women like her?

  S
urely she wasn’t the first woman who felt compelled to cling to her independence because she needed the security and peace of mind derived from it. She was carving out her own happy ending. Just not one with the white knight sweeping her off her feet.

  She’d given up on that the morning she walked into the safe house kitchen and Zane was gone…and then she’d learned with David that if she kept expecting a man to give her a happy ending then she might be condemned to a life of pain and disappointment.

  Nope, she was just fine with creating her own happy ending and she reminded herself of this as she ate. If she depended on only herself, she could survive just fine. And just fine was much better than heartache.

  “You loved being a Texas Ranger. Are you going back to it?” she asked, shifting the focus to him.

  He smiled. “No. I live here now.”

  “But you loved it. You were good at it. The best.”

  The light that had been dancing in his eyes dimmed. “We both know I wasn’t.”

  The wave of protectiveness that surged over her startled her. His ability to protect her had never been an issue. It was unbelievable that he would think such a thing. “You were the best. What happened with me was my fault. You told me to stay inside. You did everything in your power to protect me, but I went outside anyway. Foolishly ignored your warnings.”

  “I should have made you understand the probability that at that crucial time before the trial, danger was imminent.”

  “There was an internal leak, Zane. Otherwise I most likely would have been safe.”

  “That’s no excuse. There is always the probability of a breakdown. And I came after you and was so caught up in my need to kiss you that I didn’t see the attack coming. That’s the problem.” He slammed his hand on the table.

  So much for a romantic meal! “You didn’t see it because I was throwing myself at you. And if you hadn’t taken me in your arms at that very instant, I very well could be dead!” This was crazy—what was she doing?

  He shook his head. “You’re alive because God kept you alive. Not because of what I did.”

  “Oh, please. You were the one who threw me to the ground and covered me with your body. You’re the one who got me behind that table and then used yourself as a shield to get me inside. God saved me that day by using you. I can’t believe you don’t realize that.”

  His jaw tensed but he didn’t say anything. The song in the background ended and the silence between the next one to play seemed to echo around them as they squared off across a vivid line of battle. “You know what?” he said. “You’ll never change my view of that, Rose. But my concern now is for the future.” He picked up his fork. “We better eat some of this now before Max gets his feelings hurt.”

  Rose watched him take a big bite of his spaghetti and then smile as if they weren’t fighting. The man was really infuriating—but charming! She picked up her fork, twirled it in the noodles and tried not to think too much. She was drowning in very confusing waters.

  “I bought that house I was looking at,” he said finally, then took a big drink of his tea. His Adam’s apple bobbed with each swallow. “I’d like it if you’d come out and take a look at the place.”

  Rose’s mouth went dry. His gaze was unnerving. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

  “It’s a very good idea. After all, Max will be spending a lot of time there. And it only makes sense that you should check the place out, don’t you think?”

  Rose’s breath caught. She’d put the idea out of her mind that Zane might still be thinking of getting custody of Max. Now the possibility was back on the table.

  “Right,” she said tightly. “Now that you point that out, I would like to see it.”

  He gave her a knowing smile. “That’s what I thought. I’m moving in tomorrow. How about coming by?”

  “Sure,” she said. What else could she say? “But I can’t tomorrow. You know what? You have avoided answering my question over and over. Are you planning to try to get custody of Max? It’s time for you to tell me what your intentions are. You were the one who said we were playing cat-and-mouse games.”

  “What happened to us having a nice romantic dinner?”

  “That’s just it. How in the world do you and everyone else in this town expect me to not think about this?” The more she thought about it the madder she got. “Nothing about this is working for me.” She pushed back from the table and was fully intent on walking out. “I’m calling this charade off.”

  Zane grabbed her arm. “Wait. Please don’t go.”

  She glared at him, but said nothing, clearly waiting for an answer.

  “The answer is no,” he said at last. “I’m not going to sue for custody of Max. So relax. He’s old enough to make up his own mind about things anyway. Putting him in a position to have to choose is not something I would ever do to him. And we both know he would choose you.”

  Rose swallowed hard at what she saw in his eyes and heard in his voice. So much regret. So much love. Tears filled her eyes and she had to look away. This was so hard. The entire situation.

  The barn door opened and Max entered. Zane leaned close to her. “Please don’t cry. Can you relax now so we can get back to being nice to each other? I personally like us better that way.”

  Rose nodded, and before Max reached them she dabbed at her damp eyes.

  She hated feeling vulnerable. She hated it more than anyone could ever know. Looking at Zane and then at Max looking as sweet as the plates of chocolate cake he carried, she felt depleted emotionally. She should have been happy hearing Zane wasn’t going to cause her child to have to meet the judicial system unnecessarily. But even that news couldn’t change the fact that Max was rooting for a happy ending to this story…and Rose knew she couldn’t give it to him.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “So, did you have a good time?” Max asked the next morning. He’d already asked her several times before he went to bed the night before. The kid had been thrilled with himself and she’d not been able to burst his bubble of pleasure.

  She’d smiled through the rest of the evening and then gone to bed completely traumatized by the entire evening. Over and over she’d found herself praying for some kind of peace about the situation. But none came.

  God didn’t work so suddenly for the most part—sometimes He did—yet she knew through experience that most of the time problems worked out slowly. Looking at Max now, she knew she couldn’t wait. Max needed to know the truth. Drawing this out was only going to hurt him more.

  “Max, I need to be straight with you. I had a good time. But you need to understand that nothing is going to happen between your dad and me. The last thing I want is to hurt you. But, babe, you’ve got to promise me you won’t do any more matchmaking.”

  “Mom, why won’t you give Dad a chance?” He rammed his chair back and stood.

  Rose wasn’t prepared for the out-and-out belligerence in Max’s tone. Or the uncharacteristic anger.

  She stood at the sink. “Max, he’s here in town where you can see him as much as you want. You must know that he wants you in his life? That’s what matters.”

  “He wants us in his life. Mom, can’t you see that? He loves you. But you are so stubborn.”

  “Max! I don’t love Zane.”

  “I don’t believe you. And I always believe you. It’s like you’re scared of this with Dad.” She flinched at his tone and he stopped suddenly and stared at her. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

  Rose fidgeted with the cup towel, feeling as if she were under a microscope. Yes, she was afraid, but it was more.

  “Mom, you’ve never been afraid of anything. How can you be afraid of Dad?”

  She sat down in the chair across from him, owing him an explanation.

  “Max. This is about more than just Zane.” How did she put this? There were so many reasons for her to feel at peace with her decisions. “It’s more like I just don’t feel like this is what God has for me. When I’m around him I’m
in constant turmoil. I don’t have any peace about giving up my independence. I’ve had to fight so hard to have it. I’m settled. I’m happy. It’s not that I’m actually afraid of Zane, but rather of messing up. Again.”

  “Mom, you’re like supermom. You’re my hero. But you gotta believe what you’re always preaching to me. You know, that it’s okay to mess up, because at least if you’re messing up, you’re learning.” He was giving her a pep talk.

  “That’s different. In this situation I wouldn’t be learning anything. Except that I’d messed up. And I don’t want or need that. I have everything I want right here.”

  Max shook his head and left the table. He didn’t look mad any longer, but the disappointment in his eyes bothered her worse.

  “What’s on your agenda for today?” she called, feeling horrible as he walked away. Monday was normally her day off but Ashby had asked her to work today because she had to go out of town for something. She hadn’t thought much about it then, but now watching Max she wished she didn’t have to leave him alone.

  He looked so forlorn, trudging down the hall with his shoulders slumped. “I’ll probably just watch TV,” he said and slammed his bedroom door. Closed it between them like a blow from his heart to hers.

  And it hit its target dead center.

  “Heard y’all had quite a time out at Rose’s last night,” Sam said as soon as Zane walked into the diner. App and Stanley grinned at him as did several cowboys who were eating breakfast.

  “Your spaghetti was great.” Zane slid onto a stool and lifted a brow at Sam. “You never told me you were a matchmaker, too.”

  He gave a mischievous grin. “I ain’t normally. But Rose told Adela and the girls to back off, so somebody had ta help out the poor kid.”

  “Did it work?” App called.

  Zane rubbed his temple; he had the beginnings of a headache that came from no sleep and a head and a heart doing battle with each other. “I guess only time will tell, Applegate. Sam, I’m going to advise you to hide if you see Rose coming.”