The River's Edge

by Tina Sears

  About a hundred people were gathered at the pavilion already, mostly on the lawn where the food beckoned hungry bellies.

  We stood in a short line for a chili dog and baked beans. Then we got our lemonade, which was too sweet, but we drank it anyway.

  We wandered over to the edge of the pavilion where the pine trees were and found some privacy and some shade away from the growing crowd. We sat down in a circle, sitting crossed legged with our plates in our lap as we ate. Reds sat next to me.

  “How do you like the Cincinnati chili, Chris?” Reds asked.

  “It’s really good,” I said, wiping chili from my mouth with my napkin.

  After we ate, Julie stood up and wiped the back of her shorts off. “Looks like the re-enactors are getting ready to put on their show. Let’s go over and see what’s happening.”

  The re-enactors were forming on the front lawn. The British soldiers were on the left and the American soldiers were on the right. Each group had a cannon facing its enemy. Their rifles were straight up and down against their shoulders as in waiting. All was quiet in anticipation. Then the command was given by Colonel Saunders.

  “Fire!”

  In a flash, the soldiers were storming one another, their rifles pointed at the hearts of their enemies. Men from both sides were in hand to hand combat for about fifteen minutes.

  Next, a cannon went off, and smoke covered the right half of the battlefield. Another bang, and more smoke followed. It looked as real as if it had been 1776 and we were standing right in the middle of the action, fighting for our freedom. Soldiers fell to their re-enacted deaths one by one until a small band of American soldiers declared victory over the British. Everyone clapped and cheered until all of the dead soldiers were up and walking off the battlefield.

  The smoke cleared, and I saw an elderly woman standing beside a man in a wheelchair. The man had on a dark green uniform with a matching tie. He was missing both legs from the knee down. Across his chest were two lines of medals, but the one I noticed most was the purple one hanging from a ribbon and the medal was heart shaped. I guess purple didn’t make everything seem more exciting, didn’t always mean that your life might someday become a Broadway musical.

  I felt bad for the man in the wheelchair. I still had my legs, yet I felt like I couldn’t move. Couldn’t escape.

  The man saluted the flag with bravery only a soldier could do. His eyes were sad and watery. I thought about what horrors he must had to face in the war, and yet he still saluted the flag. Then it hit me. Freedom had been declared and it took a whole country to fight for it. We were celebrating two hundred years of it. Like everyone who fought for their freedom before me, I would join them.

  “Reds?”

  He turned to me. “Yeah?”

  “Do you know why I wanted to pull that prank on my uncle?”

  “It’s because he put you on restriction, right?”

  I had to navigate cautiously. “Yeah, that’s some of it, but there’s more to it than that.”

  “What?”

  I paused, trying to gather my bravery.

  He nudged me. “You can tell me. I’ll protect you.”

  I thought of the fight at the beginning of summer and how he tried to break it up. I believed him. “Well, it’s because he’s mean too. Especially when he’s drinking. Which is every night.”

  “Freckles’ Dad is an alcoholic, and he’s pretty mean too.”

  He was getting off the subject. I tried again.

  “Yeah, well, he’s not just mean. He’s a bad man.”

  “What do you mean? Has he hit you?”

  Just then, the elderly gentleman in the white suit took the microphone and blew into it, making a loud hiss.

  Reds looked over at the man, then back at me, waiting for an answer. But I couldn’t talk over the microphone.

  “Next, we will have the three-legged race. Everyone interested needs to come to the steps of the pavilion to get your leg ties. You will then stand at the starting line over there and tie your legs together.” He pointed to the side of the pavilion where there were a couple of women waving.

  Reds tucked his hand into mine. It was warm and gentle. “Okay. Now. You were saying he hit you? I swear I’ll hurt him if he’s touched you.”

  This is not what I wanted to happen. I didn’t want Reds to go off starting a fight with my uncle. Violence wasn’t the answer. Getting home safe was the answer.

  “No, wait. I didn’t say he hit me. He’s just mean is all. Just forget about it.” I wanted to drop it, so I thought of a quick exit strategy. “Do you want to be partners in the three-legged race?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  We went to the front of the pavilion where the crowd was gathering. He was still holding my hand and I knew he was still thinking about what I had just told him. I squeezed his hand to reassure him that I was okay.

  After we got our leg ties, we walked over to the starting line and met up with Paige, who was tying her right leg to Callie’s left leg. She giggled when she saw us. Reds tied his leg to mine and we stood next to Julie and Tommy. Owl and Wendy were next to them and we all struggled to stay upright with our arms around each other. There were sixteen couples, both young and old. Aunt Lori and Alice were on the sidelines cheering us on. A man at the beginning of the line held up a starter gun.

  Reds and I leaned forward, waiting. A second later the gun went off. We hobbled down the grassy lane, trying not to fall into one another, walking as fast as we could for the finish line. We had our arms around each other’s waist, walking first with our free leg, then moving as one unit with the legs that were tied together. We developed a kind of hop and a skip but we finally found our rhythm. We were tied for first place with Julie and Tommy.

  I ran faster, taking Reds with me. Just as we were about to cross the finish line, Julie bumped into my shoulder. She was pushing me, trying to knock me off balance. I pushed back but it wasn’t enough to get her away from me. We were tied with just a few more hops before we finished. Julie’s foot jutted out in front of me, causing me to lose my balance. We stumbled and by the time we found our rhythm again, Julie and Tommy crossed the finish line before us.

  Reds and I came in right behind the black-haired girl and her partner, and we fell in the grass, legs still tied together, laughing. We were sweating on each other and I was acutely aware of his leg against mine.

  “We won,” Julie said with her hands up in the air. She chose a stuffed bear as her prize and she walked around with that thing like she was a queen.

  I looked at her with a sideways glance. “Cheater,” I said, but no one heard me but Reds, who gave me a knowing smile.

  “We’ll get them next time,” Reds said. “And we won’t have to cheat to win.”

  Wendy walked up to us. “Let’s go back to the cottage before the fireworks. I have to use the bathroom.”

  Julie overheard and took over as usual. “Yeah, me too. Let’s take a break and meet back here around seven to watch the fireworks.” She looked around at everyone. “Sound good?”

  As her loyal subjects, we all nodded silently.

  Back at the cottage Uncle Butch was sulking in his chair. It was a little after four.

  Paige was sitting on the couch, playing with Wendy’s Barbie doll.

  Aunt Lori came out to greet us. “Having fun, girls?”

  “Having a great time,” I said, sitting next to Paige, placing her between me and Uncle Butch. Wendy sat on the other side so that now I had them both as a buffer.

  “You’re missing everything, Daddy,” Paige said.

  Uncle Butch nodded at Paige, but he didn’t smile. His eyes washed over me in a way that made me feel like I needed a shower. I was ashamed of myself when he looked at me, his eyes exploring every inch of my body. I had long given up wearing the dresses that Wendy had lent me in exchange for my own tomboy clothes, but that didn’t matter to him.

  He was quiet. Then, as if trying to figure something out, he asked, “How do you s
uppose a snake got into the cottage?” His tone was accusatory. He was staring at me, even though Wendy and Paige were sitting right next to me.

  His face seemed to be caving in on itself, like a pug dog. He paused after every few words. His question sounded like: “How . . . do you suppose . . . a snake . . . got into the cottage?”

  I guess he had all afternoon alone to think about it. He was a regular mathematician, putting two and two together like that. Or as Lisa would say, a “math-magician.” Yeah, he was a regular Sherlock Holmes. I knew I would pay if he ever found out I was the master mind behind the snake prank. And I didn’t want to know what he’d do if he found out.

  Wendy gave me a worried look. I thought about it for a minute. How were we going to get out of this one? But my anger matched his.

  “I don’t know . . . Uncle Butch. Maybe the way all snakes get anywhere. It crawled in.”

  “You better watch yourself, young lady.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to do.” I walked into the kitchen, feeling victorious and scared at the same time. I knew I had just poked the bear.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Fireworks

  I WAS ANXIOUS THE rest of the afternoon, waiting for it to get late enough to go to the fireworks. To put some distance between me and The Monster.

  Finally, the time arrived and at seven, Wendy and I left the cottage to meet up with the gang. Everyone was there except Julie, but I didn’t care. I felt anxious when she was around. We all jockeyed for the best position on the grass in front of the pavilion. Tommy saved a seat next to him for Julie and I felt sorry for him again. But maybe he shouldn’t have felt Julie up and then pressured her to do more. I had the urge to tell Reds a couple of times but every time I started to tell him, I got interrupted.

  Over a hundred people scattered across the lawn waiting for the fireworks. I felt the excitement rise up inside me. I was fully aware that Reds’ leg was touching mine as we sat crossed-legged beside each other. I didn’t know whether to move my leg away from his or not. It was one of the few times I had seen him without his baseball cap and his loose curls outlined his face. I thought he looked cute.

  He smiled and put his arm around my waist, but it wasn’t enough for him. He leaned over and kissed me. I panicked. Would it ever be enough for him? What if he wanted what Uncle Butch wanted? More than just a kiss. Don’t guys always want more? Like Tommy with Julie. I knew what the “more” was and I wanted no part of it.

  But I liked Reds. And he was gentle. And I liked his kiss.

  He reached for me, but not in the urgent way of Uncle Butch. He took my hand into his own, interlocking them like a puzzle piece. It was as if he was trying to put me back together again.

  A few minutes later Julie showed up. “Hey you guys,” she greeted everyone, then looked at Reds and me and smiled. “Don’t you two look cute together.” She plopped down next to Tommy, waiting for the night to turn dark.

  After fifteen minutes as the sky darkened, Alice and Aunt Lori walked up to our circle with the kids in tow.

  We stood up to greet them. Cody, Callie, and Paige were bathed in the light of their sparklers. I smelled the burning and heard the sizzle of the sparklers, and when they sparked out, Aunt Lori lit six more for them. They had one in each hand and were circling them around in front of them, lighting up our faces in the growing darkness. The fire was fascinating, a spectacular show, sparking and flaming in the darkness like an actress mesmerizing her audience.

  Off in the distance, firecrackers exploded and it sounded like gunfire. Everywhere I looked, groups of people were waiting. Most of them had sparklers or firecrackers. In the darkness and surrounded by people, I felt a sense of peace, standing next to Reds. He leaned into me and squeezed my hand. In that moment, I saw my reflection in his eyes. I wasn’t the girl I saw reflected in the darkness of Uncle Butch’s eyes. He looked at me as if I had angel wings, like I was someone to be adored.

  The fireworks started, and my sense of peace gave way to excitement. Dozens of sparkling circles appeared in many different colors, and a loud boom followed that echoed in my heart. The sky lit up with dozens of flowering dandelions. No sooner had they started to disappear, another batch of blooms shot up into the sky.

  The fireworks were like a spectacular flashlight shining down on my heart. A memory rushed into my head. A memory I didn’t want and couldn’t shake. The fireworks looked just like the dandelion puffs I blew at my dad when I was little. The thought of me never saying goodbye to him stung me. I tried to push the memory out of my mind but I couldn’t. I’m too old to blow dandelion puffs now, but if I ever saw him again, I would tell him how much I loved that memory. How much I loved him. And even though I was still mad at him for leaving, he was a way better father than Wendy’s. And if Wendy ever found out what her father did to me, we would both be fatherless. That made me sad. Made me worry that I was becoming like my mother.

  “Look, Mom,” Paige said, pointing up.

  “Isn’t it beautiful, honey?” Aunt Lori said.

  After twenty minutes, explosions boomed one after the other as the whole sky lit up before us. I felt a quick thrill as the finale enveloped me, the booms bursting in my heart. The booms echoed in my chest so strong it felt like a revolution was forming inside of me. It was as if the noise bouncing around in my chest had restarted my heart, a charge coursing through my veins.

  Red’s face was glowing from the bright lights, and he never looked more beautiful. In that moment, I was just a girl with a crush on a boy. I thought of nothing else but him. Not the look on Uncle Butch’s face when he was sweating above me. Not the sound of Aunt Lori singing her song of denial, nor the shadows that haunted my mother.

  I wasn’t going to let Uncle Butch define me anymore.

  I was going to Be Brave and declare my independence.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  A Man and His Castle

  TUESDAY ARRIVED, AND Uncle Butch’s knee was better and he could drive to work again. He still limped around a little but he was walking on it all the same.

  After work, Uncle Butch came into the porch. The first thing he said was, “I’m going to take Chris to the house so she can call her mother.” It was like he had been thinking about this moment all day.

  The bear wanted revenge.

  “Only if Wendy comes with me,” I said. There was an edge to my voice, which made Aunt Lori stop what she was doing.

  Before Uncle Butch could object, Aunt Lori said, “That’s a good idea. As a matter of fact, we’ll all go and we can stop at White Castle for dinner.”

  “Yay!” Paige said. “I love White Castle.”

  “What? I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Uncle Butch said, his smile gone.

  “Yes, we’re all going. I don’t feel like cooking and I’m dying to get out of this cottage. There are a few things I need at the house too.” She looked at Paige. “Get your shoes on, honey.”

  The three of us girls crowded into the back seat and Aunt Lori got in on the passenger side. It took longer than the usual fifteen minutes because of traffic and I was glad when we finally got to the house. I stretched my legs out a few seconds before going inside.

  Aunt Lori and Uncle Butch were in the kitchen. I didn’t see Wendy or Paige, but the TV was on. I picked up the phone and called my mom.

  “Chris!” she exclaimed. “Why didn’t you call me on Saturday? I’ve been so worried.”

  “Yeah, well, that makes two of us.” I was getting a smart mouth and I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Aunt Lori and Uncle Butch noticed too. They stopped what they were doing and looked at me. Especially Uncle Butch. I was glad he was noticing. I wanted to put a scare into him.

  “Is everything all right?” Her words were hurried, her breaths were quick.

  “Mom. Calm down. Everything is fine. I couldn’t call on Saturday because Uncle Butch hurt his knee and couldn’t drive me to the house.”

  “Is he okay?”

  “Yeah, he’
s fine. But he couldn’t drive until today.” I paused. I knew they were listening but I just didn’t care anymore. “Mom, I want to come home. I mean it. I’m not pussy-footing around anymore.”

  “Chris? This doesn’t sound like you.”

  Aunt Lori busied herself by collecting food from the kitchen cabinets while Uncle Butch popped open a beer. He leaned against the kitchen counter, watching me with The Evil Eye. I know they were both still listening.

  I needed to proceed with caution or else I would get the sausage finger across the neck too.

  “Yeah, Mom. It does sound like me. I’ve been telling you all summer I want to come home, but you’re not listening. You need to listen to me now. Got it?” I knew I sounded terse but I didn’t know how else to get through to her.

  “What has gotten in to you?”

  I backed down a little. I still felt bad for her after all. “Nothing, Mom. I’m just really worried about you. And Dad.”

  “What makes you bring up your dad, sweetie? He’ll be home soon.”

  God. I didn’t know which was worse with their denial. My mom or my aunt.

  “I know about the divorce, Mom. Uncle Butch told me.”

  Aunt Lori cut a look at Uncle Butch. He glared at me. I was what my mom called, “walking a thin line.”

  “He did, did he? Don’t believe everything you hear. I’m still working on it.”

  Well, I hope she was working on getting rid of that secretary that he always seemed to be taking his business trips with. That would be a start. She also needed to work on finding him a new job that would keep him home more. Then she needed to work on not being so depressed all the time so he would want to stay home in the first place. But that would take miracles. I didn’t see it happening.

  “Okay. Just work on coming to get me, too. Okay?”

  “Okay, honey. I will. I love you.”