Her First Vacation

by Leigh, Jennie

He started to tell Claire that he had to go, but the moment he looked into her still smiling eyes he couldn’t make himself say the words. He knew Garret was still in bed and that he wasn’t alone. He’d taken a perky little blonde to his room late last night, and she didn’t come out again. Garret would sleep in after the night he’d had. The young blonde had been extremely energetic. Colin grimaced inside as he remembered the way he’d felt as he’d sat and listened to the noises the two of them made. He’d turned the volume down once he was certain they would be in the room for a while. When he’d turned the surveillance equipment back up two hours later, they were still going at it. Yeah, Garret would sleep in this morning.

  Colin gave Claire an inviting smile.

  “Have you had breakfast?”

  She shook her head. “I haven’t even had coffee.”

  “How about we go grab some, then?”

  Claire was surprised by the invitation. Some part of her actually wondered if it was another figment of her imagination. For a moment she felt panicked as she struggled to determine if she ought to accept. What if it was just wishful thinking? She’d look like a fool if she accepted an invitation he hadn’t even issued. Then he lifted his arm, offering it to her the way a gentleman might to a lady, and she suddenly felt as if the entire world was spinning at warp speed. He truly was asking her to have breakfast with him. It seemed too incredible to be real, and she reached out to grab it before it could vanish like the dream it surely must be. She slipped her hand into the crook of his arm, praying he wouldn’t feel the trembling in her fingers.

  “I’d love to.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  Colin turned to lead her away and silently cursed himself for a fool. This woman was much too fragile. He’d seen the surprise and then the joy in her eyes as she accepted what he’d meant to be a simple invitation to share some company at the breakfast table. He could feel the miniscule vibration in her fingers where they rested on his arm. She was acting like he was the prince to her Cinderella and that he’d just asked her to go to the ball. He’d never met a woman so eager for acceptance, so desperate to be wanted. What the hell had happened to her to make her like this? And what was he going to do to keep her from making more out of his casual interest than he ever intended?

  By the time they reached the dining room, Claire had her overactive imagination under control once more. He wasn’t asking her to marry him, for heaven’s sake. He just wanted some company for breakfast. It made her feel even more pathetic as she considered her reaction to him. When had she become this needy? She was the strong one, the responsible one. She managed her life and the lives of her sister and mother. She could control a room full of eight-year-olds on a sugar high after lunch. She was a competent, mature woman, not some silly schoolgirl with a crush on the quarterback of the football team. Yet every time Colin looked at her, she felt herself begin to tremble. All her common sense and rationale seemed to vanish, leaving behind a woman who was embarrassingly desperate to have this man want her. It was humiliating. It had to stop.

  Colin was still trying to figure out how to make sure Claire understood he was just seeking conversation and nothing more when she cleared her throat and met his gaze across the table.

  “So, are you going ashore again today?”

  He stared into her eyes and knew she was making a conscious effort to be polite and impersonal. Maybe he didn’t need to worry after all. Maybe she understood things better than he gave her credit for. He shrugged.

  “I don’t know, yet. How about you? You haven’t gone ashore at all, have you?”

  Claire shook her head. “No. I just can’t imagine why I should bother. I don’t really want to spend the day wandering around a strange place all by myself.”

  Colin shot her a small frown, afraid that she might be fishing for an invitation. As if she had read his mind, he saw her blush as she dropped her gaze to her plate.

  “I’m not looking for an invitation. I’m just stating the facts.”

  Colin blinked, again caught off guard by her penchant for speaking the kind of truth most people never gave voice to. It took guts to put such an embarrassing thing into words, and he immediately felt shame for jumping to the wrong conclusion. Worse, his thoughts had obviously shown on his face, or she never would have felt the need to openly let him off the hook. He searched for something to say, but she saved him from having to say anything.

  “I guess I’m mostly a loner.” She gave a derisive snort. “I’m sure it’s quite obvious by now that I don’t exactly crave the spotlight. I’m perfectly happy to sit on the sidelines, letting the focus of attention go to others.”

  Colin wasn’t sure why he felt like she was trying to convince herself as much as him.

  “Anyway, I’m content to stay on the ship and entertain myself here. I brought along several books that I’ve been trying to read for weeks.”

  He had to bite his tongue to keep from telling her that if she’d wanted to read she might as well have stayed home and saved herself the money she’d spent on the cruise. It wasn’t his business to tell her what to do with her time. So he just shoved a forkful of French toast into his mouth and nodded as if he understood completely.

  Claire realized she was babbling when she noticed that he’d eaten half the food on his plate while she’d taken no more than two bites of her own food. She groaned inwardly. He must think she was insane or at the very least, imbalanced. And why shouldn’t he think the worst of her? She was acting like a fool. She clamped her mouth shut and focused intently on her plate. She didn’t really want any of the food on it any longer. What she wanted was to jump up and run from the room, to escape the awkwardness her own silliness had caused. But she wasn’t a coward, and she knew that if she ran now she’d never be able to look him in the eyes again. So she stayed. She forced herself to eat the scrambled eggs that had looked so delicious when she’d put them on her plate, and she kept her eyes anywhere but on Colin.

  Colin finally realized that she wasn’t going to say anything else. Apparently, she was now too embarrassed to even look at him. He watched her pick at her food for a moment, then offered her a way out, a release from the unease that had her looking like she was ready to crawl under the table to hide.

  “Tell me about teaching. I have to admit that the thought of facing a room full of kids strikes terror in me to my very soul.”

  Claire’s eyes went to him once more, in spite of her determination not to look at him. He was shifting the conversation to a neutral topic. He was deliberately choosing to ignore the absurdity of her behavior over the past few minutes. Inexplicably she felt her eyes begin to burn. Don’t cry! Not here, not in front of him. She swallowed and blinked, then cleared her throat.

  “They’re not so bad, once you establish that you’re the one in charge.”

  “But how do you do that? There’s what, thirty of them? How in the world to you ever get them still long enough to accomplish anything?”

  Claire couldn’t help laughing. “You don’t know much about children, do you?”

  Colin smiled sheepishly, relieved to see her finally relaxing again. “It’s that obvious, huh? Well, you’re right. I don’t know the first thing about kids.”

  “Surely you were one once.”

  He stared at her for a moment, then smiled as he realized she was teasing him. “Yeah, but that was a very long time ago, and I’ve forgotten all the details.”

  A very long time ago? Claire didn’t know his age, but she would have estimated that he wasn’t any older than she, and thirty wasn’t exactly ancient. Still, she wasn’t about to quiz him on his age.

  “Well, they’re rambunctious, that’s true. And they can be a handful, especially when they’re hopped up on cookies and Kool-Aid. But they’re hardly uncontrollable. First of all, I teach second grade, which means they’ve already learned how things work. They know what school is and what’s expected of them. And believe it or not, they want to learn. They’re eager to fill up their little min
ds.”

  She shook her head. “People think school is basically a state-funded babysitting service where we just happen to teach their children how to read and write. But it’s so much more than that. Teachers shape the future. We hold tomorrow in our hands, and it’s up to us to instill as much knowledge in our children as we can. Not just reading and writing and arithmetic, but history because if we don’t learn from the mistakes of our past, then we will certainly repeat them. Then there are art and music, which make life beautiful. We must teach our children to learn, teach them to love learning, to enjoy the expansion of their knowledge so that they will spend the rest of their lives continuing to learn. Once we stop trying to learn, we cease to grow. I never want one of my children to think school is just a necessary evil that they must endure because the truant officers force them to.”

  She stopped and blushed once more. “I’m preaching.”

  Colin shook his head. “No, you’re just passionate about your work. I’m glad to know that you don’t just look at the kids in your class as bodies to hold down the chairs. You’re the kind of teacher that inspires people for the rest of their lives. You’re the one they’ll think of when they graduate from college or reach their life goals. You’re the teacher every student knows they can rely on.”

  His words sent a warm sensation through her. He understood. He saw that she devoted herself so thoroughly to her job because she believed it was one of the most important jobs in the world. Education was the key to the future and the impetus of freedom. She believed that with all her heart and was thankful that this man was able to see the depth of her love for her chosen career where so many others, including her own family, had not.

  “I want to make a difference.”

  “I’m sure you do.”

  She felt another bout of embarrassment coming on, so she shifted the focus to him.

  “What about you? What made you get into software development?”

  It was the cover he’d been issued and one that wasn’t so far from the truth that he’d have trouble maintaining it. He shook his head.

  “I’m afraid that I didn’t get into it for the same altruistic reasons that inspired your choice of career. I wanted to make money, to be sure that my job would always be in demand, and there’s no way computers are going to stop being necessary. I had a knack for them so I chose to exploit my natural talents.”

  “And have you reached your goal?”

  He frowned. “What?”

  “Are you rich?”

  He might have thought she was digging for info so she’d know whether or not he was worth chasing after if he hadn’t been certain she wasn’t capable of being that calculating. So he assumed she was being facetious.

  “Not as rich as I’d like, but I’m getting there. I’m thinking I’ll be able to retire long before I hit fifty.”

  She smiled and leaned forward to rest her elbows on the table. “What will you do then?”

  “Buy a boat and sail around the world.”

  “Really?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. It’s always sounded like something I’d like to try.”

  Claire considered the suggestion for a moment, imagining what it would be like to just pack up everything and go. To travel around the world with no schedule, no reason to hurry. She nodded.

  “It would be liberating to be that free. Each day would no doubt be a new adventure.” She focused on him once more. “But wouldn’t it be hard to leave your family?”

  Colin answered without thinking. “I don’t have any family. My parents died when I was nineteen, and I was an only child.”

  He realized what he’d said the instant it was out of his mouth. It was the truth. The truth of his life, not the cover story that went along with his false identity. He felt something akin to panic rip through him. Never, in all the years that he’d been working undercover, had he once made this sort of mistake. Dear God, what the hell was wrong with him?

  Claire saw the strain on his face and reacted instinctively. She reached across the table and covered his hand with hers. “I’m sorry.”

  Colin was so caught up in self-recrimination that he didn’t understand what she meant at first. Then he realized that she was talking about his lack of family. He cleared his throat.

  “It was a long time ago.”

  She pulled her hand away from him, nodding. “Yes, but it never quite goes away, does it? I was fifteen when my father died and to this day, I still ache for him.”

  The softness of her voice was evidence of the pain she spoke about. Colin forgot about the colossal blunder he’d just committed as the urge to comfort her took hold of him.

  “You two were close?”

  She nodded. “We were very much alike.”

  “What about your mother?”

  Claire’s face darkened a bit, just enough to warn Colin that her relationship with her mother wasn’t the best it could be. “She’s alive and well. I have a sister, too.”

  She left it at that and though Colin wanted to pursue the matter, to search out the cause of the shadow that crossed her face, he knew he had no right.

  “I always wanted a sibling. Brother or sister, I wouldn’t have cared.”

  Her smile was tight and slightly askew. “Spoken like an only child.”

  So she had problems with her sister as well as her mother. The puzzle that was Claire Abernathy just kept getting more intricate. He forced himself not to spout out the questions whirling through his mind.

  “Is she married?”

  Claire’s gaze snapped to his with a sharpness that surprised him. Then she seemed to relax as she took a breath. “No, Diane isn’t married.”

  “So you don’t have any nieces or nephews to start teaching.”

  Claire held his gaze for a moment, surprised that he was wise enough to realize that she would have loved to have a niece or nephew to cherish. At the first instant that he’d asked his question, she’d felt a flash of fury so unexpected that she was unable to control it. There had been too many times in the past that a man had approached her and talked to her, pretending to be interested in her only to eventually start asking about her sister. It took only a moment for her to remember that he didn’t know Diane. He’d never seen her. He couldn’t possibly realize how stunningly beautiful she was. He was just making conversation. Which was why she felt comfortable revealing some small measure of the truth about her sister.

  “Diane would never have children. They would ruin her figure.”

  Colin arched a brow at that, but said nothing. Obviously Claire and her sister had a less than perfect relationship. Claire certainly didn’t appear to have a glowing opinion of her sibling. There had definitely been a hint of disgust in her voice as she spoke.

  They spent the next half hour making small talk. Neither of them talked of family again. Colin was surprised to learn that she not only claimed to like football, but knew enough about the game and the players and teams to prove she wasn’t just pretending. Claire was stunned to discover that he was a fan of classic literature. She was even more shocked to learn that he liked musical theater. For some reason she’d expected him to be far more stereotypically masculine. Sports, okay, but things like art and music, other than rock and roll or country of course, were for sissies. Colin evidently didn’t like to fit into any molds, though, because she was learning that he had tastes just as eclectic as hers.

  They parted a while later, after lingering over their coffee until the dining room began to fill up. Claire didn’t want the morning to end. After spending so much time with him, she didn’t want to spend the rest of the day alone. But she couldn’t say as much to him. She didn’t dare. Because even though he was talking to her and was clearly willing to spend time with her, she still knew that it would never be anything more than mere conversation. She had no idea why he’d chosen to reach out to her, why he found her interesting enough to merit his attention. She did know that it meant nothing. He was still an incredibly gorg
eous man, and she was still a plain Jane. That wasn’t going to change.

  Colin didn’t exactly know what made him stop after he’d taken only one step away from her. He turned around and called her name. She looked back at him, and he heard himself issuing an invitation. “How about the same time tomorrow?”

  She stared at him for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. I’ll meet you at the same place.”

  She turned and walked away, leaving Colin standing there wondering why he’d just made a date with a woman he knew he ought to stay away from. It was obvious that she was trouble. He found himself losing concentration when he was around her. He’d told her the truth about his family, for God’s sake! That kind of stupid screw up could get him killed. Any green rookie knew better than to drop his cover for even an instant. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that Claire Abernathy was the very antithesis of the cover he’d cultivated. He’d known about Garret Palmer’s habits before he ever set foot on the ship, and he’d deliberately set out to portray himself as the same kind of man. He wanted to establish a sense of camaraderie with Palmer. He knew the man would appreciate another womanizer. Which was why Colin had made certain to spend time with several of the women he’d met on the boat. And Palmer had noticed. He’d shot Colin a knowing grin just the night before as he hooked his arm around a pert blonde and led her away.

  Palmer was starting to think that Colin might be a kindred soul. He’d lose that notion, though, if he thought Colin was going after Claire. Because she was hardly the kind of woman any self-respecting womanizer would want. If he had half a brain, he’d forget their breakfast date tomorrow. He’d forget Claire Abernathy altogether. He ought to go after Janine or Angela. Not Cathy since Colin had already guessed that Garret wanted her for himself. He didn’t want to alienate the man by getting in his way. The smart thing to do would be to find himself a nice, hot little airhead to pass the time with. He turned and walked away, determined to take his own advice.

  CHAPTER THREE