To Protect Serve and Betray: A BBW Romance

by Leila Lacey

  What he was?

  He was a man who took his mother to mass everyday. Who took the single mother that lived at the end of the block to do her grocery shopping because she didn’t have a car, then fixed her pipes, windows, stairs and anything else she needed done. A man who worked with the children at the local Y, and had help ten inner city youths graduate from high school with scholarships, so they could go on to college.

  Seth was the man who before that day, she had trusted with her life, with her son’ life.

  Her mother had asked her last week, “Is a man the sum total of the worst mistake he has ever made in his life?”

  She wasn’t sure, all she knew was the Seth she thought she knew and the Seth who’d killed her husband didn’t seem to be the same man.

  She picked up the box and took it to the dining room table yelling, “AJANI NOW!” She opened the box. Just inside the brown cardboard was a beautifully wrapped box. With blue wrapping paper and a red bow.

  Ajani came bounding into the dining room. “I ready mom….OH, IS THAT MINES?” he shouted.

  “Umm, yeah it is,” Alena said. Ajani’s birthday had been last week he was officially five. He had a race car party at the local racetrack complete with one time around the track in a race car for each little boy.

  Seth’s parents had set it up for Ajani months before she learned the truth and Melissa had called and begged her to let Ajani still accept this gift from them. She’d cried for an hour on the phone with Alena. Apologizing and begging for her forgiveness on Seth’s behalf.

  Alena agreed to let Ajani have the party and assured her she wasn’t to blame for any of it and there was nothing to forgive her for. She’d always believed racists were raised, not born. There was nothing racist about Mr. and Mrs. Hale and she was as sure of that as she was that the sky was blue. Did that mean Seth wasn’t a racist? She still felt unsure. Alena made a spiritual connection with Melissa that could not be broken.

  “WOW! Look Momma! Dis is what daddy Seph say him get for me for my birthday!” Ajani yelled.

  His shout brought Alena out of her own thoughts to see Ajani holding up a genuine child size racing suit and helmet with Ajani’s name autographed on the side by his favorite racecar driver. “Seth is not your daddy and when did you see him?”

  He put the helmet on and was running around her dining room table making the sounds of a race car.

  “Ajani honey, stop!” she said taking his helmet off sitting it on the table. “When did you see Seth baby?” she asked him again

  “Him came to my school last week. Him asked me what I wanted for my birthday and to tell me him he wuvs me…how come daddy Seth can’t come play with us no more mommy?”.

  Alena hadn’t told Ajani about who Seth was she didn’t see the point in it. She wished she didn’t know on an hourly basis. “Because he can’t baby,” she replied sadly.

  “Mommy that’s not a reason. If you’re mad at him you have to porgive him,” he told her.

  “Why? Why should mommy forgive him?” she asked him squatting down, so they were eye to eye

  “Because Jesus said so!” he replied. “Oh! I gotta get my backpack momma, I be back!” Ajani said running up the stairs.

  Alena stood there staring at the helmet Seth sent him. Knowing it would take an act of congress to get him to let her send it back. She decided to let him keep it, no matter how short a time Seth had given her son a father. Right now, that’s all Ajani needed to know. She went throw the box out and found a thick yellow envelope in the box with her name on it.

  Alena opened the envelope and found a hand written note confidential police file. She read the note first.

  Alena,

  I know the last thing you want is to get a note or anything from me. I hope you will allow Ajani to keep his birthday gift. I have tried to think of a way to explain my actions and I still don’t know what I was thinking. The file I have sent you is the file about Marcus’ death all the information you need for a civil suit. I took this file with me when I left the force, because I wanted to make this right for you and his family. I know you will have to include me in any suit you may file. I want you to know I did not fire my weapon at Marcus because of his race. I fired because I’m a coward. Plain and simple. I was a coward that night and I was a coward when it came time to tell you the truth. I fired because I trusted the wrong people. I am so sorry for the pain I have caused you and anyone who knew and loved him. Knowing you and your family, I know he must have been an amazing man.

  I am sorry Alena! No not because I got caught so to speak, but because I wasn’t the one to tell you, because I caused you such pain.

  You and Ajani are and will always be the best thing to ever have happened to me. I love you and I always will.

  Always, Seth

  Alena sat down at her dining room table, tears streaming down her face while she reread the letter.

  She prayed and prayed for months for answers to her heart for what’d been done to her family. Now, she held it here in her hands. With all the pain and anger she felt at Seth, Jeffrey, Tabitha, the police department. She couldn’t bring herself to hate, even when she tried.

  She opened the file.

  As Alena read through the file, a clear picture started to come to light. Seth told the truth about the shooting and it’d been brushed under the rug. He’d reported his partner and gotten him convicted of other crimes but the police department insured what’d been done to Marcus would never result in criminal charges. Because of the far reaching effects, it would have on the police department in the community.

  She looked through the photos and read through the papers realizing how much God had actually delivered her from her pain and suffering from the loss of Marcus.

  With Seth’s help.

  “Momma, whas da matta?” Ajani asked her running back into the dining room.

  Alena leaned down and picked him up “Nothing baby. Momma just needed a good cry. You know?”

  Ajani wiped her tears away with his little tiny hands. “No momma. You need to pray?” he asked her confused.

  Smiling at the light of her life, Alena held his hands asking him, “Do you want to lead the prayer?”

  “YUP!” he said lowering his head and closing his eyes. “Jesus peeze help momma to feel better and bring back daddy Seth because we miss him. Amen”

  “Amen!” she said laughing as he jumped out of her lap.

  “All better?” he asked his mother.

  Alena smiled as she pulled herself together and whispered, “All better.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “Good Afternoon my beautiful sister!” Vanessa said walking into the boutique.

  “Hey, Nessa! How are you?” Alena greeted as she slid a dress onto one of the mannequins.

  “I am absolutely wonderful. Peter is taking me on a one week cruise in the Bahamas. So, I need my amazing sister to hook me up with some badass outfits” She was already looking at some of the jewelry Alena had on display.

  “Sounds like fun Nessa! I’m so glad you guys are working things out,” she replied slightly preoccupied.

  “What’s this?” Vanessa asked seeing the file Seth sent her on the counter. Before Alena could say a word, Vanessa opened the folder and was looking through the pages.

  “Well, you don’t need me to tell you now,” Alena said walking over to the counter. “I swear you’re nosey!”

  “Lena where did you get this?” Vanessa asked her seriously.

  “Seth sent it to me,” Lena replied. The file had been in Alena’s possession for a week now, she prayed about it and consulted her pastor and she still felt unsure about what to do. Not about exposing the police department but about Seth. After much reflection and prayer, she’d been able to admit to herself she still loved Seth and missed him terribly. After reading through the pages of the file every night and memorizing them, she knew in her heart he wasn’t a monster.

  Seth had made a mistake that night. A mistake because he was afraid
as he’d told her in his letter.

  Although, it wasn’t an excuse she could understand how hard that must have been on a man like him. The part Alena was struggling with was their whole relationship. He’d lied to her, hid things from her.

  The most important thing in a relationship was trust. She was unsure she could ever trust him, or forgive the lies he’d looked her in her eye and told.

  “What are you going to do?” Vanessa asked her.

  “I’m handing the file over to my attorney. I must get justice for Marcus. He would get it for me,” she replied solemnly.

  “I know. I mean what are you gonna do about Seth?”

  Alena’s store manager and two of the sales associates stopped pretending to work and stared at Alena, waiting for an answer too

  She looked around at all of them. “Lord, don’t you people have anything better to do?” she said laughing

  “NOPE!” they all replied simultaneously!

  “Alright, that means I need to start firing some people!” she grinned.

  “Alright, get back to work,” the store manager said walking away from the counter quickly.

  “Uh-uh unemployment will get your nosey asses in gear,” Nessa said laughing with Alena.

  “Have you told Peter how much money you spent here last month?” Alena said, stopping Nessa’s laughter.

  “Oh, don’t try and threaten me. I already told him and he gave me my punishment. Spanked me but good too,” she said raising her eyebrows up and down.

  “Lord Jesus! Don’t tell me please!” Alena said holding her hand up.

  “HA! I don’t know how you thought you could get rid of me. You know I’m a professional dick sucker. I have a membership card and everything”

  “NESSA! Jesus! Customers!” Alena replied.

  Nessa had never had a filter if she was thinking it…she was saying it. Alena was remembering when she’d asked the Johnson boys to show her their pee pee’s to prove they were boys when they were little. “What? They’ve slobbed a knob before,” she had whispered.

  Alena laughed and shook her head knowing that trying to teach her sister etiquette was a losing battle.

  “What are you gonna do about Seth?” Vanessa asked again.

  “I don’t know, Nessa. I just don’t know,” she replied hanging her head.

  “Well, I will add my two cents and say…I know he loves you for real Lena. He’s a huge jack ass. But I really think he loves you. I think you should talk to him.”

  “You think so?” She could admit she really did love and miss him terribly. Which was the most confusing of emotions, considering what had happened.

  Nessa reached over and stroked Lena’s hand. “At least meet with him to hear what he has to say, face to face. I think that’ll help you make your decision. Make him look you in the eye and explain himself.”

  Alena knew she was right. She wouldn’t be at peace or be able to say she’d made the right decision about her and Seth until she spoke to him in person. She picked up her cell and sent him a text.

  Hi. It’s Alena, can you come to the house tonight? I would like to talk face to face.

  Alena held her breath waiting for his reply. It wasn’t even a full minute later when she was rewarded with his response.

  Is 8:30 ok?

  Alena smiled at least he hadn’t changed, Seth never made her wait. He always answered her calls on the first ring and replied to her texts immediately.

  “Well, one thing hasn’t changed. That boy’s is still whipped!” Nessa replied walking away.

  Alena sent this simple reply.

  See you then.

  She realized she’d been holding her breath. She’d actually been scared he would say no and now, she felt scared this was going to be the night she would have to say goodbye to Seth forever. It made no sense really, she hadn’t seen him for eight months, but somehow he was with her all along.

  “Lena!” Nessa yelled from across the boutique, breaking into Alena’s thoughts. “I know what you need in this store!”

  “What’s that Nessa?” Lena yelled back bracing herself for her sister’s shenanigans.

  “Edible undies and dick-pop’s!” Nessa yelled back.

  Not disappointing Alena by having any couth at all.

  “Your sister needs Jesus!” one of her associates said.

  “I know!” Alena said laughing.

  Just then, Hazel Banner walked into the boutique for the first time ever.

  “Well, if it isn’t grandma bat shit crazy herself!” Nessa exclaimed while walking toward her sister instinctually to protect her.

  “Nessa!” Alena said scolding her sister. Regardless of what had happened, she wanted to get along with her. She was Ajani’s grandmother. “Hello Hazel.”

  “Alena,” Hazel replied in her usual snooty tone.

  “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”

  Hazel was looking around the shop as if getting a sense of the vibe Alena had created. “Marcus was right! This place is amazing Alena,” she finally said, tears pooling in her eyes.

  “Thank you,” Alena said quietly.

  “That’s why you came here to see if your son made a good investment?” Nessa chimed in.

  “No, I came to ask for your help Lena,” Hazel whispered

  “My help with what Hazel?” She could tell Hazel was desperate and she looked very upset. Walking around the counter, Alena placed an arm around Hazel’s shoulders.

  The older woman collapsed against her in tears, wailing, “I am so sorry! I was wrong Alena. I made so many mistakes and now…” she paused to try and catch her breath.

  “Okay, Hazel I need you to calm down,” Alena said to her while signally for one of the associates to bring her a glass of water as she steered her in the direction of one of the chaise lounges in the store. “Hazel I need you to take a deep breath and tell me what’s wrong.” She genuinely cared about Hazel. Even though they’d never really gotten along Alena knew she’s just an over protective mother who loved her sons. Now that she was a mother, she could totally understand. Taking the wine glass of water, she handed it to her.

  Hazel stared at the glass and took a sip of the perfectly chilled water “Nice touch,” she said.

  Shaking her head, Alena knew Hazel would love all the pretention of a wine glass full of water.

  “Have you seen Jeffrey?” Hazel finally asked her.

  The last time she’d seen or heard from Jeffrey had been at the hospital where he’d called her every name in the book. Alena informed him to stay away from her or she would make sure he knew what a…child of God, she could be. “No I haven’t. What’s happened?”

  “He’s been on a destructive spiral since meeting your friend. His father and I finally had to have him placed in rehab forcibly. He ran away from the rehab facility and because it’s a court ordered rehab placement, they reported him to the judge and now, there’s a warrant for his arrest. I am so worried about him. I don’t want to lose another son. I can’t…” Hazel rambled out before collapsing into tears.

  “Okay, Hazel you have to calm down. Take deep breath,” she urged rubbing Hazels back trying to soothe her. “You’re not a terrible mother. You have just coddled Jeffrey for too long. There’s nothing you can do now, but pray he comes to his senses and turns himself in.”

  Hazel blew her nose in her handkerchief as she nodded her head in agreement. “I know, I know. I just—did you know I got pregnant with Jeffrey after six miscarriages? I spent the entire pregnancy trying not to move for fear I would lose him. I wanted at least five children. Only God saw fit to only give me the two. I guess I felt for years, the Lord above knew I would be a terrible mother. Even once I had him, I just felt like he would be taken away from me. Only it wasn’t Jeffrey I lost—it was Marcus”

  Alena finally understood why Hazel would be such a freak about one son and not the other. All the years of being angry with her, now she understood. “Shhh…Hazel the Lord is not punishing you. God is not a God o
f cruelty and pain. It will be all right, I promise you.” Alena said a silent prayer for Hazel and Jeffrey. Hoping he would do the right thing and turn himself in. She held Hazel in her arms and just let her cry. Knowing it was all she could do.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Alena was washing her and Ajani’s dinner dishes when she heard someone in her drive way. Checking the oven clock, she realized it was already 7:15 which meant Seth was here. Drying her hands. Alena went to the front door.

  She stepped out onto the porch.

  Seth closed his car door, and started toward the doorstep.

  Alena noticed a figure step out of the bushes of the yard across the street. It was so dark and whoever it is, was wearing all black.

  It was like the world suddenly stopped for Alena. The shadowy figure raised its arm while holding a silver object up that sparkled in the moonlight. As the figure got closer and closer to Seth, Alena realized it was Jeffrey in a black hoodie. He was pointing a gun at Seth.

  “NO! NO!” Alena screamed as Jeffrey fired the first shot from his handgun, hitting Seth in the back. The force of the bullet hit him so hard in the center of his back—it spun him around to face his attacker as he fired, again, and again.

  Alena ran down the steps of the porch watching Seth slam against his car and slide to the ground. Blood shot out of his mouth like a spigot. “No, No, NO! Alena screamed while kneeling next to him. “HELP ME! Somebody please help me! Call 911!” She screamed placing her body between Seth and Jeffrey.

  It looked as if he was in a trance as Jeffrey stood there in the middle of the street like he was going to fire again. Staring at Alena and Seth.

  “ARE YOU CRAZY?” Alena screamed looking up at Jeffery. “PLEASE? SOMEBODY HELP ME!” Alena screamed in pain as Seth laid in her driveway losing blood rapidly while trying to take a deep breath. “Seth don’t die. Please hold on honey, please? HELP ME! PLEASE!” Tears were streaming down her face. She couldn’t stop her hands from shaking. She was trying to stop the bleeding but the holes in Seth’s chest were too big.