Incognito

by Robert Johnson

  Mrs. Holland is a fine-ass lady, nicely built to be in her forties. She never says forty what, just, “Forty-something, young man.” I bet her husband still likes to hit that because I wouldn’t mind she come by here smelling good and dressed nice every visit. Speaking of here, she is coming to the door now.

  “Hey, Mrs. Holland.”

  “Hey, boy, where the rent with your late-paying ass?”

  “I got the check right here, dang.”

  “Good. You know I love you, right? I got to give you some hassle. You always late.”

  “Yeah I know, I’m sorry too, but my funds don’t clear until the fifteenth. Plus, I like to see you.”

  “Uh-hum, I bet. See you next month—unless something goes wrong.”

  “All right.”

  I’m glad she not one of those snooping all-in-your-business slum landlords. She just come get the rent, make sure ain’t no complaints, especially drug or repairs needed, and be on her merry way. Must be nice to have money to live like that worry-free. I’ll be like that one of these broke-ass days. Speaking of broke, I better get dressed so my broke ass can go looking for a job, which I should’ve been doing early this morning.

  I still have time to get over to a couple of places. I’ll start at the mall with some department stores. They always in need of some fine salespeople. Ain’t no way they going turn me away with this nice knock-off Brooks Brothers suit. I might even be able to get an interview and job acceptance today if I run into the right manager. Hope so.

  Driving down this strip to get to the mall is faster. I never knew about this route. I took Spencer all the way up to Edgewood, where the mall is located. Usually I hopped on the expressway only to go around the loop, which took me a mile out of the way. It’s a shame how a lot of people just hanging out not doing nothing. I wonder how they surviving. I guess they all got some hustle going on or something, but hell, I ain’t going to even try to figure it out, cause it would take forever or drive me crazy trying. The mall was empty—usually is during the week. I’ll be in and out of here quick. I got three stores on my agenda that I want to apply at first, cause the last time I was here, the manager at one of them told me they was in need of a manager. Shoreline, Tight Bottom, and Exquisite Looks were the stores that needed a manager—all stores that sold to predominately black customers. I’m sure one of them is going to hire me.

  I went to Exquisite Looks first because that is the store I really want to work at. Glad I did, cause the manager was on duty, so I could get my interview right away, just like I hoped. The interview took ten minutes, and I walked out of there with a job. I didn’t need to go to the other stores, because this was full-time, forty hours a week—thank God.

  Now I need to celebrate hit up the weed spot: Cornell Projects. The same people out here all the time. They need a real job. Hog-Mog in the house let me get a quo.

  “Here you go, country-ass nigga,” one of the dudes said as we exchanged money for product. It was fluffy and green, as usual.

  “I been coming round long enough. What’s y’all names, man. At least I can get that. I might want to take y’all out for a drink or something. You know, go kicking it.”

  As they passed an already lit blunt to me, the names came out. The one who passed it to me first said, “I’m Scooby.”

  To his left, “I’m Do-Dirt.”

  “Red.”

  And finally the leader of the crew spoke his name: “Silencer.”

  I hit the blunt a few times and passed it. Silencer asked, “Where you live, Hog?”

  “On Twenty-Third and Wells, just a little apartment for now.”

  * * *

  I don’t know where I’m going. I’m just driving. That was my first time smoking outside like that in the middle of the day. I feel kind of strange. I hope this fade off soon. I’m too high. I guess I’ll go get my cell phone I been telling myself I was going get for the last month. I think I’m going to get this camera one I seen on the Sprint commercial. It was small and could take pictures while folded by the press of a button. It cost $100, which was reasonable compared to the other phones. I chose this little blue one. I called Jackie to give her my number so she could reach me if she wanted in case I wasn’t at the crib. She was at work, so we didn’t talk long, but she agreed to hook up later. Told me to meet her at her house at six. I wasn’t hesitant in complying to her demand, because I immediately thought about the night we shared together last night. She was more than a freak in bed—she was an animal. She rode me, sucked me, rode me some more, took it missionary, doggy, and even froggy style before gushing out a massive tidal wave of sweet vagina juice over my penis. Her orgasm lasted for three whole minutes.

  I don’t know why she was single, but I was glad. Hopefully she wouldn’t be for too much longer. I drove back to my place to chill until it was time for Jackie to get off work so I could meet her. I ended up dozing off on the couch once back at the apartment, watching the National Geographic channel, which I liked to watch frequently because of the shows aired required you to think and expand your horizons a little. I get tired of watching the same old junk on the local network channels. They be about the same stuff all the time: sex, money, music. Although they be good shows, just need something different now and again. I remember having a dream about mating and animal rituals. The animals in my dream were some of the people I know. The pack that Jackie and I belonged to was a pack of rhinoceroses. I was the head, and she was the lead. We were separated by divisions in the shallow waters surrounding us. It began to get good when we started mating in the water. I mounted her from behind and gave her all I had, getting a loud, thunderous moan with every thrust. That’s when I woke up, because I thought I had ejaculated on myself. How embarrassing that would have been—a twenty-five-year-old man having a wet dream.

  Well, it’s good I woke, because it’s now time to go get the real stuff. Time to meet Queen Jackie. I was waiting for her to pull up so I could greet her with the single red rose I had to show my emotions for her. She pulled shortly after I got there with a card in hand for me. Looks like we were thinking about each other. Must have been good to her too. We greeted each other with a hug and a kiss. We went into her house so she could get into some after-work clothes. I watched her undress in amazement. I immediately remembered my dream and wanted to mount her voluptuous bottom as she bent over to slide off her pantyhose. So I did what the rhinoceros did and mounted. She gave a slight moan as I gently entered her already moist cave. With one hand caressing her left breast and the other hand clutching her hair, I began to go in and out faster. I was now painlessly pounding the womanly G-spot, and she was now talking in tongues as if she was demon-possessed as she began talking dirty to me, cursing and telling me to fuck her harder. I did as told, and with one hand still on her breast, we both climaxed.

  After the shower we took to rid each other of the scent of sex, we got in her car for a drive. I didn’t ask where we were going, because I trusted in her to take me wherever she wanted. We talked and laughed while listening to the radio. The drive was getting long, and then we pulled up in front of this beautiful big two-story—what looked like a mansion. It was neatly landscaped with a huge yard. The other houses on the block were just as gorgeous. When she told me, “Let’s go,” I asked who we were going to see. She said, “I want you to meet my mother.”

  I really wasn’t ready for that but didn’t want to disappoint her, so I followed her lead. She must have knew I was nervous, because she told me to relax—her mother ain’t no mean person. She had the key, so we went straight in. She yelled out, “Janice, yo daughter here, and I got a friend, so put on some clothes.”

  I laughed and said, “Y’all must be real close for you to call her that.”

  She replied, “Yeah, we got a good relationship. My mom real cool. Think she still young.”

  “How old is she?”

  “Fifty-two.”

&nb
sp; “She is young.”

  “Yeah, right.”

  “No, that’s kind of old, but she still active and fun like she young.”

  As she came walking down the stairs, I thought to myself that she still look good, like she young. If I didn’t know, I would not have thought she was fifty-two. I could see where Jackie got her looks and body. They almost look like twins. Jackie introduced us.

  “Momma, this is my friend Michael. Michael this is my mother, Janice.”

  “Hi, Janice.”

  “Hi, Michael. So you dating my daughter, huh.”

  “I don’t know. She didn’t tell me yet.”

  “Hell, you are you here ain’t you. And you screwing her, right. So, you dating her.”

  Jackie interjected, “Momma, leave him alone. Michael, don’t pay her no mind. She just being nosy.”

  I laughed as they began talking, and her mother hugged me, saying, “Young man, just treat her good. She a good woman. I know because I raised her.”

  They chatted I listened and occasionally spoke, mostly laughed at they conversation cause it was so friendly and untraditional—at least, for me it was.

  As we were leaving, I saluted her with a “It was nice meeting you,” while Jackie stated, “I’ll call you.”

  When we got in the car, Jackie asked me, “Well, what did you think of my mother?”

  I said, “I thought she was great, but y’all got a funny-in-a-good-way relationship.

  She replied, “Yeah, everybody say that, but that’s my momma. We just cool like that ever since I was a little girl.”

  “That’s good. A lot people don’t even talk to they mother or father, let alone joke with them. That’s tight y’all like that. So, you think she like me?”

  “Hell, yeah. That’s why I took you over there.”

  “How you know she like me?”

  “Because she was nonchalant with you. She joked about you fucking me. If she didn’t like you, she would have just said hi.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m glad she like me. So, do you like me?”

  “You ahight.”

  “Ahight?”

  “Yeah, I like you, silly. If I didn’t, you wouldn’t have got none. I liked you the moment I saw you.”

  “Cool, so do that mean we dating?”

  “Do you want to?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, you my nigga. We dating. You bet not let me catch you talking to another chick, cause my ugly going to come out, and you don’t want that. Okay?”

  “Okay. Ah, shit. Don’t tell me you got different personalities.”

  “I got about three people in my head, but they only come out when necessary.”

  “You crazy.”

  “Just a little bit.”

  “I’m just playing. But for real, don’t cheat on me and I’ll be the best thing that ever happened to you.”

  When she said that, it kind of did something to me. I had never had a woman tell me something like that before. I fell for her right there, at that moment. She opened my heart up a little. We stopped at the video store to get a couple of movies to watch for the rest of the now rainy night. We got a comedy, a romance, and an action, along with some popcorn and candy. She had the drink already, some good old fashioned Kool-Aid. That’s one of the things I liked about Jackie. She had a nice paying job but still drank Kool-Aid. We finished all three movies, cuddled up on the lounge sofa she had. It was comfortable enough to be a bed. After the movies, we took a shower together and went to bed.

  The next morning, I woke before her to surprise her with breakfast in bed. I made pancakes and a cheese omelet. She didn’t have any sausage or bacon. I put enough for her and me on a plate with a glass of orange juice and walked it to her. I woke her out of half-sleep by calling her name.

  “I made us breakfast.”

  She replied, “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “I know, but I wanted to. Taste it. It’s going make you melt. I’m a great cook.”

  She tasted the omelet and said, “You can cook this better than the restaurant.”

  “Thank you, baby.”

  She was already running late thanks to our morning round of good-day sex. Sex was always good in the morning to me. I think that’s when women are more moist and aroused. I was half-asleep not paying any attention to the time or the fact that Jackie had already left the house. When I rolled over and looked at the clock, it was 8:30. I jumped out of bed and got in my clothes, realizing I was late for work.

  I still had to stop at the apartment because I didn’t have a change of clothes at Jackie’s place, so now I was going to be even more late than I was already. I got in the apartment and ran straight in the bedroom to grab something out of the closet to put on. No time for a shower—just throw on some deodorant and couple spritzes of cologne. Nobody going know but me anyway. I ran back to the car. I was now an hour late. I couldn’t call the store because I was supposed to open. No one was scheduled until 12:00. What kind of manager is late opening the store?

  I was hoping nobody was waiting at the door to get in because I would be shit with the boss if he got word of it. He was some bigshot from an upscale neighborhood. Didn’t care about nothing but money and more money. I pulled in the parking lot at 11:37. The store was supposed to be open at ten o’clock with the other stores in the mall. I know I’m a hear some shit about this, but what can I say. Just hope I don’t get fired. Wasn’t nobody waiting, which was a good thing, but the owner called three times. I forgot I was supposed to fax over the reports from the previous day before opening so his accountant can do the books. Shit, I know I am so fired.

  I made it through the entire day. I laughed with Tommy, the salesperson, about being late and why. He called me crazy for not getting up out of the pussy when I was supposed to. Even told me, “Hope she got a good job, cause your ass going to get fired. Happened to another manager before being late and all. Said he was late coming from his doctor appointment. The boss didn’t care.”

  Sure enough, he called me before closing and told me the job needed someone that was going to be there on time, because there was money to be made from opening to closing. He told me leave my key with the other manager that was coming shortly. Oh well, I got one week worth of pay coming.

  The manager came, collected the belongings, and closed up. I didn’t even worry about the reports. Let him do it. I called Jackie when I left to tell her what happened. She laughed at me, saying, “My shit that good you can’t get out of bed,” before telling me don’t worry about it—she going to see who in her network of people know somebody hiring. It was amazing how supportive and down-to-earth this chick was. I had never experienced it in all my days of dating. I mean, she wasn’t afraid to admit her faults, her likes, and even her freaky side without knowing somebody for years. Maybe it was just me she was comfortable with, or maybe she just looking for a man. I don’t think she looking for a man, cause she hella fine and got a job, so she a magnet for men. I don’t know what it is, but I’ll take it.

  Before I went to her house, I stopped to kick it with Silencer and the crew. They were up to the same old shit—hanging out, dealing, smoking, and fucking with the hoes that everybody had already fucked. Hell they had all probably fucked the same hoes, probably all at the same time too, which explains why Do-Dirt always scratching. I kicked it for a long time this time, just getting to know them a little better and letting them know me—at least, what I wanted them to know. I even hollered at some hoes, not that I was really interested, just to see if I could get them. I have to admit, it was some fine thick ones out just hanging.

  I seen some thug girls before, but these took the cake. It was cool, though, because I like them jazzy with a little attitude but still ladylike—just turns me on. During the length of our conversation, I began asking my new compadres how they got they nicknames, only to get some not-so
-shocking responses. Do-Dirt got his name cause that’s what he always did: dirt. Whether he was screwing somebody wife or girlfriend, he was jacking somebody. Scooby got his name just because he had big ears and everybody said he sound like Scooby-Doo. Red, simply because he was red. You know real light, with reddish-brown hair. The infamous one-and-only Silencer—just what it sounds like. He shut motherfuckers up for good.

  The thing that was shocking about Silencer was he was not a big dude at all. Matter of fact, he was kind of skimpy but stout. He was quiet and laid back, with some fierce eyes. When you look him in the eyes, it was like looking at a ghost with fiery pupils, so most became nervous and didn’t talk much. I guess that’s why he was Silencer. I also picked up some game watching them take care of business serving the customers that came up.

  Depending on what was needed, one would take the money during a handshake, and somebody else would give the drugs, or “product,” in another handshake. Just to throw the cops and whoever else was watching. The customers would shake everybody hand to make it look like they was showing some love, saying “What’s up?” It was a smooth operation. After I smoked to the max, over-clouding my brain, I decided to leave. I gave some dap to everybody and parted to the heckling of them all: “Later. You gotta learn to hang with the big boys. We only smoked one blunt.”

  “Yeah, but that blunt was filled to the max. Later.”

  I got to Jackie’s house with the munchies, desperately in need of some grub. I raided the cabinets and refrigerator for some chips, sandwich meat, and something to drink. I made myself a big bologna-turkey-cheese hoagie, with a side of chips and glass of apple juice. I was eating not only to fill my craving but to take the high away before Jackie came home. Don’t know how she would handle me being high in her house or around her. I was laid out on the bed, knocked out after taking a shower. I woke up to the surprise of a warm mouth around my penis. She just always seems to find a way to amaze me every time we together. I was now wide awake and erect, ready to explode. As I began to pull away, doing the gentleman thing, she grabbed my erection tightly and placed her full lips around the head until every last drop of cum was done secreting. I was in love and in heaven all at the same time. Since Jackie came in surprised me with the ultimate hook-up, it was only right I reciprocated. I eased off her clothes, beginning with her shirt and bra so I could get to her breasts. I began sucking her nipples, both in my mouth at the same time.