Incognito

by Robert Johnson

  Eating the food sparked some general conversation. Since they already knew where I used to live, I asked them where they lived. Silencer lived in Cornell, Do-Dirt lived in Cornell, Red lived in Cornell, and Scooby lived on David St. When I heard that, I got excited inside. Thought he was going to say the cross street, Crescent, but instead, he said Sixty-Third, a long way from Crescent—in fact, the other side of town. I thought, What the fuck this kid doing down in the projects when he lived in a well-to-do suburb? I wondered if his parents knew he was hanging down here, so I asked.

  “Hey, Scooby, what the fuck you down here for if you live in the suburbs?”

  “Ain’t shit to do up there. Plus, my pops be tripping. Beating my ass and shit just for talking on the phone or eating. So I left home.” Damn, he be tripping like that. That’s some fucked-up shit. “I been staying down here with this broad I know from the doctor office I used to go to. She a vet.”

  A vet is an older woman with experience in fucking, usually over twenty-five. Scooby was only eighteen.

  “That’s cool. She be breaking you off?”

  “Hell, yeah! We smoke a blunt and she be ready. I get chewed and screwed.”

  “Your ass a fool. I ain’t mad at you.”

  The conversation went on pretty much about nothing for the next fifteen minutes or so, until we got up to leave. We dropped Scooby off at his crib and went back to the projects. I gave some dap and got in my car to head home.

  I knew I was going to have to get my apartment back in case we had other nights like this and they decided to come over. I had enough for the rent, but I would need the security deposit. Maybe I could get it from Jackie. I didn’t know what I could tell her it was for, though. I thought a little bit longer, and it came to me. I’ll tell her I need it for a credit-card bill. Luckily I had the bogus one the bureau gave me.

  I got in the house at 2:47 am. Jackie was sleeping on the couch. She must have fell asleep waiting for me because the TV was still on. I turned it off and woke her up by telling her lets go to bed. I could tell she was glad I came because she was smiling and holding on to me walking back to the bedroom. She was already wearing her pajamas, a T-shirt with no bra or panties. I was aroused from looking at the bottom part of her ass peeking out of the T-shirt. While she lay in the bed, I got undressed so I could warm up while laying next her so we could fall to sleep. I was out before you knew it.

  In the morning, before she left for work, I asked for the money in a way so it didn’t look like I was begging. I said, “Jackie do you think you could loan me $1,500 so I could pay my credit card bill? I’ll pay you back once I get a new job.”

  She told me, “You don’t have to borrow it. I’ll give it to you.”

  I was more than happy, expressing it by saying, “Thank you” before holding her and giving her a long, wet kiss. She left for work while I was in the shower. When I got out, I seen the money and a note on the nightstand. The note read, Michael, I really do enjoy your company. You have touched my heart. I hope I make you feel good and that this doesn’t end, for I have never had anyone as good as you. Love, Jackie. After I read the, note I began to feel sad. I knew this would have to end and I would feel sorry for Jackie being hurt. There would be no possible way I could stay with her. Oh well, I can’t worry about that now. I need to focus on getting the apartment. I’ll call Mrs. Holland in the car. I’m sure she’ll be glad to hear I want the apartment back. I just hope one is still available.

  “Hello, Mrs. Holland. This is Michael, your former tenant in apartment 101. How are you doing?”

  “I’m fine and you?”

  “I’m doing good. Do you have any one-bedroom apartments available left?”

  “I don’t know. Why, she kicked you out already? That wasn’t even three months.”

  “No I’m just looking for somewhere I can chill when I want to be alone.”

  “I got the same apartment you was in before, just painted too. When you want it?”

  “I want it right away. Can you meet me over there in about a hour to give me the keys?”

  “You got the rent and security deposit?”

  “Yes I got all that.”

  “I’ll meet you over there. If I’m not there when you get there, just wait in the front. I won’t be much longer.”

  “Okay, Mrs. Holland. See you then. Thanks.”

  I was never more happy than now. She a life saver. I opened another can of worms. I know this means I more than likely will have to get sexual with her again. That’s cool, though. Only this time, I’m going to have to get some head or get my penis wet. I better stop at the gas station before I go over there. Otherwise, I might not make it. This motherfucker on empty.

  Please, God, let me make it to the gas station. I would hate to have to push it. This is too heavy for me to be pushing and trying to steer. I got six blocks to go. Come on, light. Turn green.

  I kept one foot on the brake and the other one pumping the accelerator so the car could stay idling in order not to shut off. I learned that from a shade-tree mechanic while working undercover on a different case. I made it to the pump in the knick of time it shut off just as I got in front of the pump. Damn, I’m glad today going be a good day. It started out right. I got the money from Jackie, got the apartment back, and now I made it to the gas station without having to push. I went inside to pay for the gas—twelve dollars on regular. I grabbed some chips and a juice while I was in there too.

  While I was pumping the gas, a police car pulled in the lot behind this nice-ass Lexus. It was shiny black with some chrome rims and black tint. The dude that got out was in suit and tie, must be some professional-type cat. He don’t have nothing to worry about, but I still bet he was nervous. Nervous cause the law was behind him. Hell, I even get nervous sometime, and I am the law. It is just natural instinct for a black man when they see the police behind them. It is not so bad now for me, though. They didn’t fuck with him, just went in the station too. They must don’t have nothing to do if they just riding behind niggas, following them in gas stations and shit.

  As I was getting in the car after pumping my gas, I seen the boys get in they squad. I was waiting for the traffic to ease so I could pull out, hoping they don’t get behind me and pull me over, for I still had a half a blunt in the ash tray. They turned out and went in the other direction, not paying me no attention. I could now go hang out with the fellas, see what they up to, not that I don’t already know, but who knows? Today they might decide not to sell drugs or smoke. Yeah right. Who I’m talking about?

  I pulled in the back parking lot of Cornell, parked in an open spot two rows from the building we occupied. I took the half blunt with me so we could light it up, help start the day off right with them. It was cold outside, so it wasn’t nobody outside except for customers. They always out. Even if it’s twenty below, you going to see one or more of them out. In the hallway, I ran into Shelly. She stopped me on the way to the second flight of stairs.

  “Why you didn’t call me yet?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know what happened to your number. I looked everywhere for it. Still couldn’t find it. Sorry.”

  “I bet. If you don’t want to fuck with me, just tell me. I ain’t going to trip just because we fucked. I wanted to fuck anyway—shit.”

  “No, it ain’t even like that, boo. I just lost the number. Why don’t you go write it down and bring it to the spot so we could finish smoking this blunt, alright?”

  “Okay, I’m going to get Tracy and Tanisha to come with me.”

  “Cool, I’ll let Do-Dirt and Red know. Holler.”

  I’m tired as hell walking up these punk-ass flights of stairs. This some bullshit. This motherfucker need a working elevator. Now at the door, I knocked three times to get in, to be greeted by Red.

  “What up, nigga?”

  “Chillin, Do-Dirt.”

 
“What it do baby?”

  “What it always.”

  Silencer said, “Let me smash some of those chips since you didn’t bring enough.”

  “Knock yo-self out, playboy.”

  I wasn’t even thinking about it. I was just trying to get out of there before five-o started sweating. They had already followed some nigga in there. You know how they be sweating.

  “Yeah, Shelly said her, Tracy, and Tanisha coming down here in a minute. They want to smoke. Here, got something to get started, something I was smoking on last night.

  “Give it here,” Red hollered as he put the game on pause. Him and Do-Dirt was playing Madden football. I lit the blunt and took two hits before I passed it. I took a seat on the couch and watched them play while talking to Silencer. He threw a sack to roll up. I was much obliged. I rolled up three stuffed blunts perfectly. They were tightly rolled in a strawberry wrap, filled with Indo, some of the best regular weed you can find. As I lit one of the stuffies, Silencer began to philosophize, which he always did when we were just chilling, smoking weed. He got to talking about relationships—how women be manipulating men. His theory is that women say they want a man that’s going to be there for them, that they be romantic and sensitive, but when you ain’t like that, they be cool until they get you. I asked him to break it down for me.

  “Okay, check it. Y’all be doing all type of shit at first—you know, going to the movies, out to eat, and just straight fucking, right? But then, when you tell her you love her, she change.”

  I asked, “What you mean she change?”

  “She start wanting you to be in the house all early and shit. She want you to cuddle, hold her. She start checking your phone, calling back numbers. Just doing all type of crazy shit.”

  “Yeah you right a little bit.”

  “Nigga, I’m right all the way. Why you think I just fuck thug bitches or jump-downs.”

  “Why?”

  “Because they don’t ask for all that. They just want to smoke and fuck. Plus, you take them to Red Lobster or Denny’s, they cool.”

  “You crazy as fuck, dog, but if it work for you, that’s cool. I do think you right—them thug bitches and jump-downs do be freaks though.”

  Red and Do-Dirt shouted, “Hell, yeah. Anyway where Shelly and them at?”

  “I don’t know. They supposed to be here. You got the number? I’ll call.”

  “He called out the number in between puffs on the second blunt. Just as I was dialing the number, there was a knock on the door.

  I answered, “Who is it?”

  Tanisha yelled, “Your baby mama. Now open the door.”

  “So, you got jokes, huh?”

  “You know I love you, boo.”

  They all give they what up’s and have a seat.

  “You getting your ass kicked, Do-Dirt?” goes Shelly.

  “You crazy in your head. Can’t nobody mess with me in this game. I be whippin’ motherfuckers ninety going north.”

  She replied, “Okay, I feel you, stunna. Do the damn thang.”

  Tracy goes, “Who turn is it on the blunt? Smell like some killa.”

  “It’s still my turn,” came from Silencer. “Light that one up. Y’all came at the right time. We was just talking about how women be changing when they know they got a nigga.”

  “What you mean?” said Tanisha.

  “You know, how when she think she got him whipped, she be making him come home all early, stop hanging with his boys, checking his pockets, and checking his phone. What’s up with that? Who got an answer for us?”

  “That be them insecure bitches be doing that shit. Hell, as long as the nigga know where home is and don’t bring me home no diseases, I’m cool,” answers Tanisha.

  “That’s what I’m talking about,” goes in Shelly.

  Tracy, on the other hand, got to talking about how she do expect a man not to have a problem with her checking his pockets or phone. She explained that she don’t care about him hanging with his boys or even fucking other hoes—just be real with her when she ask him about stuff, especially when it come to the fucking other hoes, cause she might want to fuck the hoe too. When she said that, Do-Dirt, Silencer, Red, and me was stunned. We all looked in amazement, quiet as hell. We was surprised that she liked girls too. I guess Shelly and Tanisha already knew, because they didn’t even blink.

  Silencer asked, “What you mean you might want to fuck too?”

  She answered, “Just what I said. I might want to fuck the bitch too. Sometime I don’t want no penis. A bitch got to get her vagina ate the right way.”

  We all bust out in laughter. The girls all gave each other a high five. Shelly said, “I know that shit right. Y’all niggas be acting like y’all don’t do it. But I never went that way. I just wait for the nigga to do it. I’don’t know about that bumping coochies shit.”

  Tracy hit the blunt, saying, “I told y’all, don’t knock it until you try it.”

  Do-Dirt beat Red 21 to 8 in the game, which Red blamed on the controller.

  We was all just sitting there now quiet until Red put on some music. He threw on some classic shit. I hadn’t heard the shit in a long time. It was that N.W.A., Niggaz Wit Attitudes. I remember playing that shit when it first came out almost everyday. As we was listening to the sounds of “I Rather Fuck You,” the room became quiet. We was all in a daze. The already dimly lit room was full of Indo smoke. Time flew by. It was just after 1:30 p.m. when I got there, but it was now a little past 6:00. After the track went off, Shelly suggested we go to the hotel to get away and relax. She wanted to go to the hotel over in Riverbrook, the suburbs where all the white people live. I knew where it was but never been, because I had no reason to, just got briefed by the department that Darius frequents there with different girls. Silencer agreed with her to go so we could get in the pool they had. He told them to go get some stuff to wear because we going to spend the night in one of the suites. Red had Tracy, Silencer had Tanisha, and I had Shelly, so that left Do-Dirt out, cause the girl that was with them last time couldn’t find no babysitter—that’s why she wasn’t in the spot with us.

  When we got to the bottom of the stairs, just before the front door, Silencer came up with a plan that we was going to try to get them to have sex with each other before we fuck, just to make things exciting. The rest of us agreed to the plan. What man wouldn’t want to watch two women—maybe three—have sex with each other? We went to the truck to wait on the ladies because they was taking too long. Silencer decided to drive his Suburban. I knew it was nice, but I didn’t know it was this nice. I mean I had seen the outside, with its candy-apple-red pearl paint, shiny chrome rims, and tinted windows, but the inside was even better. The inside was peanut butter brown. It had plush leather seats, built-in TV and DVD player, four twelve-inch kickers, and surround sound. This was better than most people home theater system. I complimented him by saying, “Silencer, this shit tight than a bitch.”

  He nodded and thanked me. “You stay with us, work yo way up, you could have one of these too, dog.”

  I replied, “That’s what I’m talking about.”

  Shelly and her girls was coming now. When they got in the truck, Do-Dirt asked if they had a buddy that can come for him. Tracy had said she did, a girl that lived on the other end of town that would be down to come.

  “Let me call her.” She called asked for Erica. “Hey, what’s up girl? What you doing? You down to get out. Me, Shelly and few fellas going to go to the hotel to smoke and chill in a suite. We on our way to get you. Be ready. Let’s go get her. She stay on Eighty-Third and Taylor. Just make a left when you get there.”

  Silencer hit the expressway to cut some time so we could hurry up to the hotel to get a suite booked. After a ten-minute drive, we made it to Erica’s house, which was in the lower section of the city.

  This was the true definition of
ghetto. There were rundown houses—shacks, to be exact. Erica’s house sat on the corner next to a hole-in-the-wall bar, which looked like a front for the numerous men and boys hanging in front of it. From past experience, I could safely say they were dealers, aligned by rank. Erica came out of the house wearing skin-tight jeans, a button-up blouse, and a bandana wrapped around her head as if it were a headband. As she was walking to the truck, we heard the soldiers harassing her. They were screaming things like, “Who you going to do now?” “Can I get some later?” and so on. I would bet any money that all of them had fucked her. She hopped in the truck, dapping Tracy and Shelly, then kindly acknowledging the rest of us. As we drove off, the girls began to talk while we listened the sounds of Big Mike.

  After driving for a while, Erica must have got the scoop on who she was going be kicking it with, because she switched seats with Tracy to sit by Do-Dirt. They began talking—I guess to get to know each other a little bit from the looks of it. They was connecting, because Do-Dirt had her laughing.

  Before we got to the hotel, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. It was Jackie. I didn’t want to answer it in front of the girls because I didn’t want her to hear them in the background, since then I would have to explain what I was doing. I answered and put my finger over the part where you talk to filter out the noise and took it off when it was my turn to talk. Jackie asked where I was at, since she hadn’t seen me since earlier today. I couldn’t tell the truth, so I quickly came up with a lie. I told her I was with a few of the guys I met at work while working at the factory. I also didn’t want Shelly or the guys drilling me about who I was talking to, so I hurriedly told her we was driving to Minnesota to look at this truck one of them wanted to buy. She asked when I would be back. I told her as soon as we got done, but we might decide to go out to a club while we there. If so, I’d be back in the morning. If so, I’d call to let her know.

  She said, “Okay, baby, just call me to let me know. Love you.”