Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, Vol. 3

by Fujino Omori

  Gramps was always saying that.

  Even after he disappeared from my life, his teachings are still with me. Gramps was the one who gave me my drive.

  His words led me to Orario in the first place.

  But I don’t want him to see me like this. I can’t bear to see his face.

  “MROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

  Gramps.

  Right now, I can’t move.

  “…N…ah.”

  I lift my head up only to see a stream of saliva dripping out of the Minotaur’s mouth.

  The monster is still a ways away from me, but it’s howling and brandishing its sword over and over, as though gloating.

  I can see the beast’s whole body, its fur like heavy armor. Even after all those Firebolt impacts, there are no deep wounds anywhere on its massive frame.

  The realization that my Magic won’t work makes me feel absolutely powerless, my body weak and empty.

  I can’t win. I have no idea how many times those words have echoed through my head.

  My arms and legs won’t move.

  I get to my feet, but my knees are shaking. They could buckle at any moment.

  “Hnnfff…!!”

  “…… ?!”

  I feel a chill in my spine as the monster’s eyes lock onto me again.

  The cold fear that had enveloped me up to this point is replaced by despair, as all the muscles in my body go slack.

  My mind is going full-speed, but my instincts tell me the end is near.

  I’ll be pulverized by the next hit.

  Both Lilly and I are as good as dead.

  I have to move…!

  My fingers start to twitch.

  “MROOOOOOO!”

  —I’m too close to the wall!

  The second I see the Minotaur make a move for me, I get my ass moving.

  That thing is so big that if my back is against the wall, I won’t be able to dodge or escape.

  First priority: get into the open field. Running away from Lilly, I make a break for the middle of the room.

  The Minotaur’s eyes follow my every move. It sees where I’m going and makes a sharp turn, its feet sending dirt flying as it charges in from my right side.

  It’s coming up fast!

  I can see it growing huge in my shaking eyes.

  “MROOONN!!”

  “—Grk!!”

  It kicks the ground and goes airborne.

  I have no choice but to do the same, to have any chance at avoiding the oncoming cleaver.

  I just clear the blade, my body snaking out of the way of the cutting edge as I dive forward.

  The shock wave from the blade’s impact behind me makes me lose my balance the second my hands hit the ground, shivers running up my spine. But I manage to tuck my chin into my chest and roll a few times before jumping up to my feet.

  Spin around, back step.

  The ground beneath my feet is cracked, the break starting back at the blood-soaked cleaver, still in the monster’s grasp. The beast glares at me as I put more space between us as fast as I can.

  “MROOOOAAAAAAH!!”

  But the moment it plants its massive hoof on the ground, the Minotaur instantly reduces the distance to zero.

  My eyes are wide in surprise as it holds the cleaver in both hands, preparing for a full swing.

  I feel my face turn a dark red.

  Hearing the sound of wind being torn asunder, I fall to my knees and duck with all my might. I feel the power of the beast’s swing as the edge of the monstrous sword passes just above my head.

  I feel like my shadow just got sliced in half—that’s how close it came to taking my head clean off my shoulders. It cut some of the hair off the back of my head.

  “MROOOAH!!”

  “Hnn?!”

  Amid a small flurry of white human hair, my hair, the Minotaur swings the blade down on my crouching body. I roll forward as if my body were shot out of a cannon. BANG!

  That’s where the onslaught starts.

  The Minotaur swings down again and again, the blood-splattered sliver blade aimed right at my neck. No matter which direction I go, I can’t get out of the blade’s reach. Soon, punches and kicks graze my body. I can’t see where they’re coming from, but if I stop rolling, it’s all over!

  Each heartbeat, each breath burns in my chest.

  The realization that one wrong move means certain death clamps down on my brain like a vice.

  The alarm bells in my head keep going.

  My ears are going to shatter.

  “?!…Guh?!”

  By the time I notice, my body is a wreck. But what did I expect would happen after rolling on the floor that much, just barely avoiding killing blow after killing blow from the Minotaur’s rampage?

  There’s no room for error, and how could there be? I’m so covered in cuts and bruises that I’ve practically got one foot in the grave already.

  If these attacks keep coming…

  Vague images of the future in my head now feel strange.

  I dodged the final blow by a hair, again.

  It’s just a matter of time. Even if I manage to dodge another, I can’t avoid death.

  Run away.

  Get out of here, there’s no choice!

  If I don’t escape, no one can save me!

  “Mister…Bell……”

  My eyes snap to the sound. A small mound of earth flinches away.

  It’s Lilly. Her whole body is unsteady, like she could fall at any moment. She’s looking at me, her eyes cloudy. She’s still bleeding, a red streak running down her cheek.

  I scream with everything I have left in my lungs:

  “Lilly, get out of here!”

  My voice almost shrieks as a new shiver passes through her body.

  Jumping back to avoid the cleaver yet again, I yell at her over and over to run.

  But she’s not moving. She’s just standing there looking at me, about to cry.

  Gah…This is so frustrating!

  “Run…Get the hell out of here!”

  She shakes her head no, tears streaming out of her eyes. Is she not thinking clearly? She’s acting like a spoiled child who’s not getting her way.

  WHY?!

  As long as you’re here, I can’t run!

  Once you get away, I can escape!

  Don’t you understand? Why don’t you get it? I’m begging you, wake up!!

  “GET GOING!! NOOOW!!!”

  Anger fills my voice as I scream at her again.

  Tears pouring down her bloody face, she turns her back to me.

  Tup, tup, tup. She takes off and disappears from the room.

  Yes! Now I can make my escape!

  Finally, I can get out of here!

  I can leave…

  Like hell I can…?!

  If I’m gone, what’s to stop this bastard from chasing her down?

  If this mad cow goes after her, Lilly will…Lilly’s going to…

  “…DAMN IT!!”

  I jam my right hand into my protector and pull out the baselard.

  Coming up from one last roll and throwing my leg into the dirt, I face the beast head-on.

  I don’t know if I want to be angry or if I want to cry. My mind is already a wreck from everything that’s happened, I can’t think straight.

  I engage the Minotaur in combat out of desperation.

  “MROOOOAAAAAAAHHH!!”

  “?!”

  I quickly get out of the way of a sudden punch and bring the baselard down on its wrist.

  Feeling the backlash down my right arm, I jump back to dodge a slash from the cleaver. There’s no way the baselard could block that amount of sheer force.

  I land and brace for the next attack.

  My wide-eyed gaze locks with the beast’s sharp glare.

  “ROAAA, WAOO, OOOOH!!”

  “Gah!”

  I continue to dodge blow after blow, dancing with death without any armor at all. The cleaver slams into the ground over
and over, each time showering me and my wounds with dirt and rubble.

  The Minotaur’s breath is heavy and ragged. Is it getting frustrated because it can’t hit me?

  Meanwhile, my breathing is even, almost calm. Sure, I’m sweating like there’s no tomorrow. I feel like I could drink a lake right now.

  Waves of power blast out of each of the Minotaur’s attacks again and again, but flow harmlessly out over the prairie. Every sound in the Dungeon right now is coming from this battle alone.

  Two shadows dueling in a vast, grass-covered room, under one light on the ceiling far above.

  “FOO…WWOOOOOOHH!!”

  I can feel the beast’s rage in its howls.

  Like it’s yelling, “Stand still!”

  Only after working up the courage to face it with only the baselard for defense do I see that my Agility is of a level with the beast’s.

  But I can’t press forward.

  Each time an attack whizzes by my head, I get cold feet and take a step back. I’m still too scared.

  Don’t advance.

  Focus on the retreat.

  Dodge, dodge, dodge. Buy as much time as possible.

  Just as long as I can live to see another second, that’s good enough…!

  Right… ?!

  “Ha-ahh!”

  I breathe hard as I duck under yet another powerful sideswipe.

  I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve seen death pass by my face. I’ve got shallow cuts all over my cheeks from near misses. My heart feels like it’s being strangled by the power of the beast’s aura.

  I may be trembling, but I’m still here, still running.

  Managing to jump out of the way of a downward slash of the cleaver, I see a hole in the Minotaur’s attack pattern. With its body folded down and the sword out in front, it can’t attack to the side without me seeing it coming. A safe spot!

  Just as I jump into the open area, the Minotaur’s eyes narrow.

  “”

  Fuhh-fuhh. Its heavy breaths filling my ears, the Minotaur takes its eyes off the massive sword and whips its neck around to face me.

  “—Dah?!”

  It had one option from that position I didn’t think of—a head butt.

  And on top of its head and coming right at me, a horn!

  The tip of its thick, curved horn is aimed right at my chest!

  “Yeeh?!”

  Even though I knew it was about as useful as tissue paper, I brace my protector in front of the oncoming spearhead. The horn penetrates the protector like a knife through butter.

  Thanks to the angle of the attack, I escape another killing blow. By some miracle, even my arm is in one piece, with just a shallow gash across the front of my left arm.

  However…

  The horn is stuck inside the protector.

  The protector is still strapped to my arm. My feet leave the ground as the Minotaur stands up, with me hanging on.

  “Gehe?!”

  “OOOooWOOOO!!”

  It flicks its neck, swinging me around like a rag doll.

  It flips the other direction, and my body goes with it.

  Every joint pops; I’m in shock. I have no idea where the ground is—all I know is that I’m two meders above it.

  I can’t see anything! Going too fast!

  The sudden whips are getting more intense, knocking the wind out of me.

  My left shoulder is at its limit, popping and pulling painfully.

  Two, three more crazy swings from the beast and the protector breaks, just a second before my shoulder joint would have given out.

  The protector was already broken, but now it cracks down the middle from the penetration point.

  At that exact second, the Minotaur flings its head upward. My arm is free; there’s nothing to stop me from flying straight up.

  “UUHH—WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”

  I come within touching distance of the ten-meder-high ceiling of the lower-ninth floor before feeling gravity take hold of my body.

  Tracing a mountain in the Dungeon, I start my descent.

  Unable to brace my body for impact, the ceiling falls away from me—fast.

  “GeHAAHH!”

  I land flat on my back.

  A scream of pain shoots through my spine and out to every nerve in my body. Stars are flashing in my eyes.

  I can feel my arms and legs convulsing, again and again.

  If it weren’t for my Defense, I’d already be dead… ?!

  “Aa…ah?!”

  My eyes won’t stop blinking.

  The wave of pain forces sounds out of my mouth. I scrunch up my forehead and force my eyes closed.

  But I can feel the Minotaur, the impact of its footsteps coming through the ground.

  This is bad, but there’s nothing I can do anymore. I can’t move; I can only make the strange sounds coming out of my throat.

  Not being able to move brings back the terror I’d been holding down by sheer force of will. The fear is back with a vengeance.

  Click, click—my teeth start chattering. Tears begin to flow out of my eyes.

  Scared.

  I’ve never been so scared.

  I’m in pain. Everything hurts. I’m overwhelmed.

  But above all that…

  I’m absolutely terrified.

  Too scared to stand.

  “Uuuh…!”

  The vibrations of the oncoming footsteps make my hair stand on end. It’s coming closer, slowly.

  I’ll be slaughtered. Panic is taking the feeling out of my arms and legs.

  The fear is taking me, breaking me. But if I give in, will that make what’s about to happen painless?

  I open my eyes to see the bright lights overhead. Each of their light beams silently reflect off my tears.

  —It’s over.

  The terror within me pushes every shred of hope I had left out of my body in one long sigh.

  “… ?”

  The vibrations stop.

  The execution block that I can’t escape from has become eerily quiet.

  In the place of the vibrations, a breeze.

  How strange. What happened? I’m caught between terror and curiosity. What’s going on?

  I relax my face and try to move.

  My body is still quivering, but I manage to raise my head off the ground.

  That’s when…

  “—”

  …I see her.

  “…”

  Long, flowing blond hair. Blue armor. Thin, sliver saber.

  Just like she had a day before, the female knight has her back to me.

  Time stands still.

  “Uhh…uwooo… ?!”

  The Minotaur is afraid.

  Its eyes locked on the silent warrior, it takes several shaky steps backward.

  I feel wind.

  And she’s at the center, her presence filling the room and forcing complete stillness.

  Her aura has taken over.

  —The Kenki. Aiz Wallenstein.

  “Found her! Hey, Aiz!!”

  “Heh, ya drag me all the way down here for somethin’ this boring? Pathetic!”

  More vibrations of footprints through the ground, even new voices in my ears, but I can’t take my eyes off her back.

  Her eye and the tip of her nose.

  Aiz is shielding me from the Minotaur, facing it down.

  My head is all mixed up. What’s going on?

  What’s going to happen?

  My torso comes off the ground as if pulled up by invisible ropes. I don’t even notice, my attention completely on the girl in front of me.

  “…Are you okay?”

  —Am I okay?

  Just like the first time.

  Her standing in front of me, looking back over her shoulder, her thin face saying those words.

  Everything in my body shudders as if struck by lightning.

  “…You did well.”

  I did…well?

  Unlike the last time.

&nb
sp; Words of sympathy, encouragement.

  Ba-bash! My heart thrashes.

  “I’ll save you now.”

  Save…me?

  My heart pounds away in my chest.

  Everything else in my line of sight suddenly snaps back into color.

  Everything is white hot.

  Save?

  Being saved?

  Again?

  By her?

  Just like before?

  Like a pattern?

  Who?

  —Me.

  “… ?!”

  A fire lights within me.

  That spark grows into an inferno that purges all other emotions from my mind.

  The fear disappears as the blaze roars through.

  A new strength, one I’ve never known, uses the flame to fill my body with power.

  Stand.

  Stand up!

  STAND UP NOW!!

  How long are you going to just lay there?!

  How many times are you just going to let her save you?!

  I’ve seen this once before!

  I can’t stand being saved by her yet again! I won’t allow it!!

  “?!”

  Body, move forward!

  If you’ve got enough time to be afraid, make up your mind!

  She’s your idol! Do you want her to see you like this again?

  She’s the one you want to impress—don’t show her anything more embarrassing than you already have. What good will that do?

  I can’t stand it, I won’t stand it, I refuse to put up with it!

  If I can’t impress her now, when can I?!

  If now isn’t a good time to look her in the eyes, when is a good time?!

  If I can’t stand up on my feet now, when will I?

  If I can’t reach a new height now, when the hell will I?!

  My legs kick off the ground.

  I’m up and moving again.

  “?!”

  “…can’t…”

  I grab hold of her hand.

  It feels so thin and delicate that I might break it if I squeeze too hard. I gently pull her around behind me.

  I’m going forward; it’s my choice.

  “I can’t be saved by Aiz Wallenstein yet again!”

  I yell from the pit of my gut as I grab my knife.

  The Minotaur sees me step forward. Its eyes pop open for a moment before it greats me with vicious laughter.

  As if granting my wish, the beast points the tip of the cleaver in my direction.

  “I challenge you…!”

  It’s time for an adventure.

  For the part of me that has to know.