Unwrapping the Best Man

by Rachael Stewart

  It looks pretty, but milk? I’m no piña colada fan. ‘And this is?’

  ‘A White Christmas martini.’

  ‘Strong?’

  ‘Suitably.’ He grins. ‘You’ll love it, trust me.’

  Both Coco and I give it a cautious sniff. It smells good. Creamy, vanilla with a hit of sweetness. I place it against my lips, get the instant hit of honey and sugar from the rim and take a sip. Whoa. It is strong...but it’s super-delicious.

  ‘Happy?’

  Coco nods at Bates as I take a bigger drink.

  ‘It’s perfect.’ Perfect to take my mind off whatever’s happening deep down inside and beyond that office door.

  ‘Excellent,’ Bates says, moving off, happy that we are happy.

  ‘I’m serious, Cait,’ Coco says over the rim of her glass, eyes wide with her insistence. ‘I think Jackson’s in as deep as you are.’

  ‘And I think you’ve had one too many drinks.’

  ‘No, think about it. He let his guard down too—the things you did together... You don’t do that without trust, without a real connection.’

  I scoff into my glass mid-sip. ‘Funny connection.’

  ‘Don’t mock it. The things he said to you; they run deep, they make him vulnerable. Maybe you got under his skin far too much and he’s running scared?’

  I’m looking at her, I’m hearing her, but from the corner of my eye I see the door to Jackson’s office and I want to laugh at the very suggestion that Jackson would run scared. He’s in there now, fucking Blondie in all likelihood, and Coco wants to convince me he has feelings for me. Real feelings.

  A moan to my left pulls my eye and I look to see the intimate arrangement of four in a recessed booth. Two men, two women, and they are deep in the moment, so deep, the passion reaches across the room. They’re having fun. They’re not bogged down by the ties of jealousy, possession, love. They’re enjoying what they can get. Like I used to.

  I look back at Coco and she hasn’t even looked; she’s fixed on me. And she’s so loved up with Ash, nothing draws her attention in that way any more. I feel that bloody pang, that longing, and I can’t deny I want it too. The biggest realisation to come out of their wedding weekend was just how much I want what they have.

  Is that because of Jackson too?

  I know the reason there’s been no one since Jackson is because he made me feel all that and more. I know it’s because I feel more for him than I should. And I know that it’s left me like this. Unable to date. Unable to trust. Unable to let go.

  Because the truth is, Coco’s right. I not only want him, I love him, I fucking love him.

  And I can’t have him because he won’t let me in.

  He’s made it clear that he’s not the man for me, and I can’t trust him with my heart.

  But my heart wants what it wants...

  ‘I say we get Ash to drill him,’ Coco pipes up.

  My laugh is abrupt. ‘What are we, Coco—a couple of kids in the playground, setting up snogs behind the bike shed?’

  She giggles softly. ‘No, but I think we could do with a better understanding of the enigma that is Jackson.’

  ‘Yes, but I’ll be the one drilling him, okay?’

  ‘You’re going to have it out with him still?’

  ‘Yes.’ Too right I am. Like Coco says, the hardest things are worth fighting for. If he doesn’t want me, fine. But the least he can do is explain his actions and, while he’s at it, an apology wouldn’t go amiss. ‘If I can get him free of Blondie, that is.’

  Coco grimaces as she looks back to the closed door. ‘Reckon we should still ask Ash to do the guy thing...’

  ‘Absolutely not, but speak of the devil...’ I gesture to the entrance, where Ash has just appeared. His eyes land on us and his brows hit the roof, his buzzcut, forbidding frame and mutinous stare enough to send the whole room into hiding. ‘Er...sorry, Coco.’

  She frowns at me and turns in her seat. I know I don’t need to explain my apology now.

  ‘You know that caveman analogy you gave me earlier?’ She looks back at me, her green eyes sparkling.

  ‘Yup.’

  ‘You think it’s about to happen?’

  ‘Yup.’

  I drop off the bar stool and make sure I get to him first.

  ‘Hey, this was all my idea...’ I lean up on tiptoe to give him a peck on the cheek ‘She was cheering me up.’

  ‘That right?’ He grins and gives me an affectionate squeeze around the waist that lifts me off the floor. ‘In that case, I’ll thank you later.’

  I chuckle as he sets me down and moves past me to take his wife into his arms, the happy aura pulsating around them obvious to all. It makes me smile and cry inside. I’m so happy for Coco, so happy for the two of them, but...

  They turn to look at me and I force my grin wide as I climb back onto my stool.

  ‘Drink, Ash?’ I beam. ‘Coco and I highly recommend the festive collection.’

  He frowns. ‘Blacks has a festive collection?’

  ‘It does now.’ I laugh. ‘Bates is conjuring them up to suit our outfits.’

  His eyes rake over Coco and the open affection, love and desire alive in his gaze have my heart squeezing tight in my chest.

  ‘Easy, Tiger, you can eat her when you get home.’ I lean into him, all sweet and lovely. ‘Right now, you have to entertain me. Tell me, do you have a friend just as awesome as you? Lovable, dishy, irresistible...’

  He chuckles low in his chest, the blush on his cheeks an alien phenomenon that only makes me love him more. Coco’s one lucky lady.

  ‘I don’t know. What do you think, Coco?’

  ‘Well, I thought you did.’

  I don’t need to ask who she means as I look to his door and see it opening, my pulse jumping. I check my watch. Ten minutes—twenty at most?

  Hardly time to talk, let alone...and Blondie looks remarkably serene. Her outfit is smooth with no visible creases. Her smile is fixed, her hair unmoved. My heart’s already lighter.

  ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.’

  It’s Ash who says it, his eyes set in the same direction as mine, and my heart does a swift U-turn. ‘What’s up?’

  I don’t like the anger that sparks in Ash’s gaze, worse still the way his eyes follow both Jackson and Blondie as they leave the room.

  ‘Ash?’ It’s Coco that prompts him. ‘What’s wrong?’

  He refocuses on his wife and shakes his head, his eyes flitting between us as he rubs the back of his head.

  ‘Nothing. I’m sure everything’s fine.’

  Fine. I have to stop myself from probing. I try to remind myself it’s none of my business. ‘Okay, back to our prior discussion, my hunky request...’

  ‘What’s got you so—’

  ‘Okay, so what have I missed?’ Jackson comes up behind Ash, cutting him off, his voice loaded with a forced nothing to see here tone.

  Well, two can play at that game.

  ‘Not a lot.’ I raise my brows at him. ‘Did we miss anything, or anyone, in particular?’

  I see something flicker in his face, something akin to guilt, but hell, based on how he’s treated me these past four months, why feel guilt now?

  Unless he truly was making out in the back office...

  ‘No, just business.’

  ‘Just business?’

  No, it’s not guilt...panic. It’s panic I can see and my insides twist and gripe. Fuck.

  I grin more and fight it all off as I give him a playful shove in the chest. ‘Only joshing with you; it’s none of our business anyway. I’m just drilling Ash on whether he has a sexy double hiding out somewhere; I quite fancy me a hunky husband.’

  His eyes flare and I think maybe I’ve gone a step too far, but to hell with it. I want him to know I’m moving on
. I’m on the market. And I’m not hanging about.

  I slide off the bar stool to emphasise my point and lose my footing in the process, my, ‘Oopsie,’ smothered by Ash’s chest as he goes to steady me.

  I grin up at him as I stand and my head spins just a little. But it’s enough to know the alcohol is going straight to my head. The joy of spirits. One minute you’re fine and the next minute... I reach out for the bar, my hand closing around something warm, solid...tattooed.

  Not the bar.

  Jackson.

  I look from my hand on his arm to his face and another, ‘Oopsie...’ hiccups out.

  My lashes flutter and my lips part. He’s too close and he smells too good. Ah, hell, his concerned smile is setting off thrilling little flutters in my lower belly and I should step away, out of his reassuring warmth.

  ‘You okay, Cait?’ Coco asks.

  Am I okay?

  No.

  Do I want her to know I’m not?

  No.

  ‘Sure am.’

  She gives a little giggle. ‘I think that last drink was one too many.’

  ‘You’re probably right, but it’s been fun.’

  ‘Hey, you sound like you’re calling it quits?’

  ‘No.’ Not yet I’m not. I had a plan. And it ended with me giving Jackson what-for and demanding an explanation. But the idea doesn’t appeal so much now. Not after Blondie’s arrival. Not now my outfit feels more ridiculous than fun and I feel about as attractive as Rudolph, only my whole face is blushing, not just my nose.

  Maybe I just need to freshen up...

  ‘Why don’t you guys grab a table?’ I say, ‘I’m popping to the ladies’.’

  ‘I’ll join you,’ Coco’s quick to say, hooking her arm through mine and practically dragging me away. I feel a pep talk coming on.

  Hell, I could probably do with one of those too.

  * * *

  Ash and I watch as the ladies walk off and I have to keep my teeth glued together to stop myself gawping. Ash is too busy grinning like the cat that got the cream to worry about gawping.

  ‘Take it you approve of the get-up?’ I say, turning to the bar and motioning to Bates for two shot glasses and the vodka I favour.

  Ash joins me, his elbows leaning on the bar as he cocks his grin to one side. ‘Hell, yeah, don’t tell me you don’t?’

  I shake my head. ‘Fucking hate Christmas.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, I know, but when Christmas comes a-knocking like that...’ his laugh is a deep rumble ‘... I’m behind it all the way.’

  ‘You don’t mind that your wife is out and about like that?’

  He shrugs. ‘Hell, no; it’s me she comes home with.’

  I shake my head and give a nod of gratitude to Bates as he slaps down the bottle and two glasses.

  ‘You’re only pissed off because Caitlin’s free to do what she likes.’

  I pour the drink, all the while giving him the evil eye. ‘That isn’t funny.’

  ‘I didn’t say it was.’ He takes up one of the glasses and raises it to me. ‘It’s the truth though; you have it bad, and the sooner you realise it and do something about it the better.’

  A laugh erupts. I fucking did that and look what happened.

  His eyes narrow. ‘Got something to tell me?’

  I ignore the question and clink my glass against his. ‘Cheers.’

  We knock them back, his eyes not once leaving mine and I go to pour another, anything to avoid his probing stare.

  ‘Not for me.’ He covers his glass with his hand. ‘Driving.’

  ‘Fair enough.’ I still pour myself one and knock it back. It doesn’t help. Nothing helps and drinking isn’t the answer. If anything, it’s only going to make it worse. But seeing Eliza, having her in the same room as Cait...

  The woman I wish I could forget, and the woman I wish I could be a better man for...

  ‘So, what did she want?’ Ash gestures to the exit and I know he means Eliza, his thoughts shifting into the same territory as mine and I grimace.

  ‘She wanted to catch up.’

  ‘Catch up?’

  ‘Yeah. I saw her last week in Berlin. She and Damien were there, checking out the same hotel.’

  ‘The one you’re looking at buying?’

  ‘The very same.’

  ‘Seems very coincidental.’

  I shrug. ‘Not really, not when you consider what a hotspot Berlin is for those wanting some X-rated fun. It’s perfect for an enterprise such as this with the added benefit of accommodation... Not that German law requires you to have a bedroom to screw in,’ I add lightly, trying to brush the whole conversation off. I don’t want to think about Eliza any more than I have to.

  ‘Surely you did enough “catching up” then?’

  ‘Did you just do finger quotes at me?’ I stare at him, dumbfounded.

  ‘Oh, God, I did, didn’t I?’

  ‘Jesus, man.’ I laugh, good and proper. ‘Is that what marriage does to you, turn you into one of them?’

  I gesture to the ladies’ room and Ash laughs too.

  ‘Actually, marriage does a lot for me. I highly recommend it.’

  ‘It seems Eliza wouldn’t agree.’ I curse the twist in my thoughts as soon as the words are out.

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  I can hardly stay quiet now. ‘She wanted to talk without her husband in earshot.’

  ‘What could she possibly want to say without Damien around?’

  I pour another shot to wash down the bitter taste in my mouth before remembering my intention to have no more.

  ‘It seems there’s trouble in paradise and she wants to reignite what we once had.’

  Ash shakes his head. ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Why on earth would she think you’d be interested?’

  I look at him and I’m quiet. I don’t know what to say. My history with Eliza is complicated. Messed-up. There was a time when I would have moved heaven and earth to have her.

  ‘I thought you guys were over years ago.’

  ‘We were.’

  ‘So, what’s changed?’

  ‘She saw me in Berlin and wanted to test the water.’ I give a sardonic laugh as I recall her confident poise, her sultry smile as she walked towards me, intent on seduction.

  ‘You’re kidding, right?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Crazy bitch.’ He shakes his head. ‘I still don’t understand why you didn’t pull their membership to this place.’

  ‘I never expected them to use it after I bought them out, not after...’

  Ash’s eyes dance. ‘After you gave Damien a black eye and he couldn’t be seen in public for two weeks?’

  ‘He definitely deserved it.’ My smile at the memory is dark. ‘If I’m honest, so did she, but I’ll never raise my fist to a woman.’

  ‘I think labelling her a woman is too kind. What you saw in her in the first place is beyond me.’

  I look him in the eye. ‘When you’re sixteen and a woman twice your age takes a shine to you and shows you the wonders of the world it’s a little hard to see clearly.’

  He studies me quietly. ‘Fair enough. Not that I know the ins and outs of it; you kept a pretty tight lid on it, even after it was over.’

  ‘And it’s going to stay that way.’ There’s no way I’m going to tell him any more now. I don’t want to put words to it, ever.

  I pour another shot to detract from the churning in my gut and Ash places his glass next to mine.

  ‘Go on,’ he says, ‘count me in; we can get a car to take us home.’

  I know the gesture is bro code for I’ve got your back when you need me, and I grin my appreciation. ‘You sure?’

  ‘Positive.’

  I load him up and we clink glasses,
throwing it back with a vocal wince.

  ‘So come on,’ I say, ready for a change in topic, ‘how is married life?’

  My shoulders ease as Ash fills me in. I’m accustomed to his loved-up state now and I’m happy for him. I’m happy for them both. They deserve it.

  ‘Enough about me though...’ He fist bumps my arm. ‘Tell me what’s going on with you. You’ve not been yourself these last few months.’

  Not a conversation I’m ready for either.

  ‘Cat got your tongue...or Cait, rather?’ His eyes sparkle with teasing but whatever he reads in my face has them narrowing sharply. ‘Coco’s right, isn’t she? Something happened between the two of you?’

  Hell, are we really that obvious?

  ‘Something’s happened and you don’t look happy about it, Black. Come on, what gives?’

  I blow out a breath. ‘You’re gonna find out sooner or later.’

  ‘Find out what?’

  ‘It was one night, that’s all, never going to happen again.’

  ‘Because you don’t want it to, or because she—’

  ‘Because neither of us should want it to. I’m no good for her, Ash.’

  He surprises me with a laugh. ‘Fuck that, Jackson. You’re one of the most decent blokes I know; if anyone deserves that little firecracker it’s you. Why do you think Coco’s been working so hard to get us all together? Ever since the wedding, it’s been her new priority, only you both keep scuppering every plan she puts in place—Hang on! That’s when it happened, wasn’t it—the wedding?’

  I don’t answer and I don’t need to. He’s already piecing it together on his own. ‘That’s why you were walking around like a bear with a sore head the next day, the rest of the trip even.’

  And then he’s laughing, a true belly laugh, and I glower at him. ‘What’s so funny?’

  ‘You! This!’

  ‘I’m failing to see the funny side.’

  ‘No? You once took a pop at me for letting a woman get too close and now look at you! Your entire mood for the last few months makes complete sense now. She’s well and truly got hold of you.’

  ‘I’m so glad it amuses you.’

  ‘Oh, come on, man!’ He wraps his arm around me and squeezes. ‘This is bloody brilliant news; now all we need to do is bang your heads together and you’ll both realise it too.’