Come Home, Cowboy

by Cathy McDavid

  “Nathan’s up. I’ll check on him.”

  Josh glanced at her over his shoulder. “Hey, thanks.”

  Feeling good, she padded quietly down the hall. Rain still fell in torrents, giving no indication of letting up. A glance at her watch told her it was after eight. Nathan must have woken up, refreshed from his short rest. He might not go back to sleep.

  “Shh, mijo.” She entered the room, speaking softly. A grinning quarter-moon night-light provided enough illumination for Cara to see. “What’s wrong?”

  In the crib, Kimberly slumbered peacefully, undisturbed by her brother’s cries. Nathan, however, was on his hands and knees, ready to straddle the guard and climb out of the youth bed.

  Her heart jumped. Javier had done the same thing. That was how he’d escaped his bed on the day of the fall.

  “No, no, mijo.” Rushing forward, she grabbed Nathan by the waist and lifted him into her arms.

  He stared at her with wide blue eyes identical to his father’s. She was momentarily taken aback. “What a handsome young man you are.”

  Cara braced herself, anticipating ear-shattering wails. Instead, Nathan hugged her around the neck and laid his head on her shoulder.

  “There, there.” She patted his back and automatically began swaying.

  He was heavy. No, not that heavy. Really, she didn’t mind. Without realizing it, she began humming a lullaby. It was the same one she used to sing to Javier.

  Cara waited for the onslaught of grief to hit her. The stab of a thousand invisible spears that made her drop to her knees and clutch her middle in agonizing despair.

  And waited. A full minute passed with nothing. Nothing.

  “You doing okay now, mijo?”

  Tilting her head, she could see Nathan’s open eyes. He seemed to be staring into space.

  “Tomorrow is my son’s birthday. He’d be five.” Again, Cara braced for the debilitating grief and, again, it didn’t come. “You’d have liked him. Javier was a good boy.”

  She continued her one-way conversation while Nathan sucked his thumb.

  “He’s asleep.” Josh stood in the darkened doorway, his tall, broad-shouldered silhouette cast in shadows.

  “That was quick,” she whispered, continuing to sway. “I thought for sure he’d be awake for a while.”

  “You have the magic touch.”

  There were so many things she missed about Javier. This was one of them. A sweet, sleeping weight in her arms, little hands clutching her, soft sighs in her ears.

  Being needed. It was more than simply satisfying for Cara. It was one of the vital components that made her whole.

  No one would ever replace her beloved boy, and she wasn’t Nathan’s mother. But Cara and Nathan could, every now and then, be there for one another.

  “You’re a lucky man, Josh.”

  He stepped into the room and approached her, this larger than life man who had filled the doorway now filling every inch of the space surrounding her.

  “I am lucky. For a lot of reasons.”

  Cara waited for a flood of emotions to drown her and cut off her air supply. Fear. Uncertainty. Inadequacy. Regret. As before, nothing happened.

  What had accounted for this change in her? Was it Josh? His children? The adoption fair and the equine therapy program? So much had changed in her life from four months ago. From last month.

  She gently laid Nathan down in his bed and covered him with the comforter. She thought of adding a second blanket, then decided against it. His footed flannel pajamas would keep him plenty warm. Besides, Josh would probably check on the kids before going to bed himself.

  “The hot chocolate’s ready,” he said in the same tone she imagined him using when inviting her to undress and slip into bed with him. “We don’t want it to get cold.”

  One last look at the two slumbering children, and Cara left the room, shutting the door partway so the light from the living room wouldn’t disturb them.

  “I should get going,” she said. “It’s late.”

  “Eight forty-five isn’t late.”

  The two mugs of hot chocolate waited for them on the coffee table.

  What would Josh do if she casually picked up her mug and relocated it to the dining table? Ultimately, she lowered herself onto the couch and patted the cushion beside her.

  Josh wasted no time and sat down. What he didn’t do was try to kiss her again. Soon, Cara relaxed.

  They sipped hot chocolate and talked children, mustangs, cattle and weather. Long after their mugs were empty, they continued talking. Josh caught her peeking at her watch.

  “Leaving?” he asked.

  “Thinking about it.”

  At some point, he’d slung his arm over her shoulder. He now let his hand brush against her hair with the lightest of touches.

  “You don’t sound convinced.”

  “It’s wet out there.” She glanced at the window behind them, though she couldn’t see through the closed blinds.

  “Is that the only reason?”

  “I’ve enjoyed myself tonight. Probably more than I should.”

  “I told you, we can go slow.”

  More like a standstill. “I’m not ready to jump into bed with you.”

  His fingers continued their featherlight dancing over her hair. “I’m not asking you to. We’ll take that step when you’re ready.”

  He spoke confidently, as if her being ready eventually was a given. Cara was less sure.

  “There is something I’d like, if you’re willing.” She was almost afraid to ask.

  “Anything.”

  “Hold me.”

  “Gladly.” He opened his arms.

  She didn’t ease into them. “Not a hug.” This was the potentially awkward part. “I want you to lie next to me. I’ve missed that lot.”

  He smiled. “Nothing I’d like more.”

  Arranging the two throw pillows at one end of the couch, Josh put an arm around Cara’s waist. They stretched out side by side, him on the inside, her on the outside, her back to his front.

  Spooning. That was what her parents used to call it. Manuel had obliged Cara if she asked, but for him, spooning was always a prelude to sex. What she’d craved was an emotional connection.

  Less than a minute spooning with Josh and Cara knew she’d be safe and her wishes respected for as long as she remained with him.

  That, more than anything else, was what finally won her over and lowered her defenses.

  * * *

  JOSH USUALLY WOKE up to the sound of Nathan hollering “Daddy” or Kimberly’s crying. Neither was the case this morning. A loud banging on the apartment door made both him and Cara jackknife to a sitting position. They stared at each other in shock and confusion.

  The banging resumed. “Hey, Josh. You there?” Cole shouted.

  Josh scrambled past Cara, inadvertently elbowing her in the side.

  “Ow!” She winced and rolled off the couch, then promptly banged into the coffee table.

  “You okay?” Josh took hold of her arm and steadied her.

  He let go when the doorknob rattled as if being shaken from the outside. “Josh, wake up.”

  Thank goodness he’d had the foresight to engage the lock the previous night. Cole had no manners and no compunction and thought nothing of barging in on Josh.

  “You in there?”

  “Yeah, yeah.” Josh met Cara’s nervous gaze. “Give me a second, will ya?”

  “Hurry,” Cole insisted. “We got a problem.”

  “I am hurrying.”

  “Any reason you can’t let me in?”

  “I don’t want to wake the kids.”

  It was a minor miracle the pair wasn’t up now, what with all the racket.
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br />   He and Cara had nothing to feel guilty about. Other than a few heated kisses, they’d passed the night cuddled—make that, crammed—together on the couch. They were without question the most crowded and uncomfortable conditions under which he’d ever slept. Also, the best.

  Cara had been pure ecstasy to hold, lush and soft and smelling like heaven. Her curves had tempted him, their allure hard to resist. Josh had refrained—barely—having no intention of ruining a good thing. She’d fallen asleep in his arms and stayed all night. He intended for that to happen again, and it wouldn’t if he moved too fast or made a wrong move.

  “Go to the bedroom,” he told her in a low voice. “I’ll get rid of Cole.”

  She hesitated a moment before doing as he’d instructed and scurried down the hall, hurriedly straightening her rumpled clothes and disheveled hair. There was no need. In his opinion, she’d never looked more beautiful or sexy.

  Hearing the bedroom door shut, Josh swung open the front door to find his brother on the other side. “What’s up?”

  Cole wore a rain poncho over his coat and a fitted plastic cover on his cowboy hat. He had yet to shave and was drenched from head to toe. Water poured off the brim of his hat in steady rivulets, pooling on the landing at his muddied boots. Above them, rain pummeled the stable’s tin roof.

  “We’ve got about a dozen cows trapped at the bottom of a flooded ravine in section two.” Cole practically shouted to be heard over the rain. He didn’t step inside despite his earlier insistence. “If we don’t act fast, we’ll be lucky to get any of them out alive.”

  “Let me change.”

  Cole looked him up and down. “Why? You’re already dressed.”

  “I need a fresh shirt.”

  “It’s pouring rain. No one will notice.”

  “Give me a second.” Josh wasn’t leaving without talking to Cara. “I’ll be right back.” He stared pointedly at Cole’s muddy boots. “Stay there. I just mopped and vacuumed yesterday.”

  “You’re Suzy Homemaker now?”

  “Shut up.”

  “Who is she?” Cole called after Josh.

  He ground to a halt, adrenaline flooding his system. “What are you talking about?”

  “The woman you’re hiding.”

  “You’re crazy.” He didn’t stay, hoping a good defense was a strong offense.

  “Take your time,” Cole taunted him.

  Dammit. Josh had wanted to protect Cara, had tried to protect her. Instead, he’d allowed Cole to humiliate her, though it was possible his brother hadn’t guessed her identity.

  Josh had made every effort to keep his and Cara’s growing attraction a secret. He did it for the same reason their night together had been chaste. He refused to ruin a good thing.

  Entering the bedroom, he stopped and did a double take. Cara, it seemed, had been busy, tidying up while Nathan and Kimberly slept.

  “Cara, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I had no idea Cole was coming. There’s an emergency. A dozen cows—”

  “I heard.”

  From her abrupt interruption, he assumed she’d also heard the remark about Josh hiding a woman. “He doesn’t know it’s you.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  “Seriously?”

  She looked directly at him. “It’s all right. We have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  Catching her by the waist, he planted a light kiss on her cheek. “I’ll be right back. I need to tell Cole to go ahead without me. I’ll meet up with him later when I figure out what to do with the kids.”

  He hadn’t been thinking earlier, thrown off guard by Cole’s unexpected appearance. No way could he leave without making sure the kids were in the care of a competent babysitter.

  Calling the woman he’d used yesterday at the adoption fair was a possibility, but Josh hesitated. Despite her congenial manner and good references, he hadn’t quite taken to her. Neither had Nathan and Kimberly.

  Raquel was his first choice, yet asking her was out of the question. She attended church on Sunday mornings with friends, declaring it her favorite time of the week. More so since his dad had died. She might be willing to babysit once she returned, but that wouldn’t be for hours.

  “I’ll watch them,” Cara offered.

  “I can’t impose.”

  “You can. I don’t mind. That was our deal. You help me with the sanctuary, and I help you with Nathan and Kimberly.” She smiled. “Besides, you know how much I like them.”

  “Only them?”

  She’d told him last night, but he wanted to hear her say it again.

  “I did spend the night with you.”

  There was the tiniest hint of flirtation in her answer. It was enough to send his heart into overdrive.

  “Thank you. For everything,” he added before giving her the kind of good morning kiss he’d planned all along. “When I get back, we’ll talk more about the equine therapy program and...other stuff.”

  “Other stuff?”

  “Are you free for dinner tonight?”

  Uncertainty flashed in her eyes. He didn’t let that deter him. In fourteen years of professional rodeoing, he’d learned to rely on his gut. Right now, it was telling him one thing. Cara Alverez was special. She’d be worth the wait and worth the effort.

  “Think about it,” he said.

  A moment later, after another quick kiss, he left the bedroom. While Cole watched from the open doorway, Josh sat in a dining chair and pulled on his boots, having kicked them off sometime last night after lying down with Cara. He ignored Cara’s boots tossed on the floor at the end of the couch and hoped Cole didn’t notice them.

  Last, he grabbed his canvas duster from where it hung on the back of the door and plucked his hat from the table. His remaining rain gear was in his saddlebags, which were stowed in the tack room along with the rest of his equipment.

  Cole continued staring at Josh as they walked briskly down the stairs and through the horse stable, stopping at Wanderer’s stall. He didn’t ask about the kids or who was with them.

  “What are you looking at?” Josh finally demanded, his hand on the latch, his impatience ready to boil over.

  “You never changed your shirt.”

  Josh sent his brother a warning look. “Don’t ask me why, because I won’t answer.”

  Cole broke into raucous laughter, startling several of the nearby horses, who huffed and snorted in annoyance.

  “It’s about damn time, brother. About damn time.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “I wanted to let you know where I was.” Cara balanced her cell phone in the crook of her neck while spoon-feeding Kimberly rice cereal and supervising Nathan’s breakfast of toaster waffles and fruit.

  “I figured it out,” Raquel said. “Your Jeep was in the driveway all night.”

  “It’s not what you think.”

  “I don’t think anything.” Raquel’s voice truly held no censure. “Your business is your business. You aren’t a teenager with a curfew, and you certainly don’t have to report in to me.”

  “Nothing happened. I fell asleep on the couch. Josh didn’t wake me.”

  He hadn’t woken her, not intentionally. Though every time he moved, her eyes had snapped open and she’d lain there, listening to his breathing and feeling the pressure of his arm circling her middle. Once or twice, she could have sworn he was also awake, but they didn’t talk.

  Instead, they’d communicated through tender touches and quiet sighs. It was amazing how beautifully their bodies fit together. If that hadn’t been the case, they’d have never managed a full night on that uncomfortable couch. Josh was on the tall side, his physique athletic without being gym addict muscled out. It was, she decided, the perfect body to spoon with.

  How might it be to spe
nd an entire night with him in a real bed? Did she dare find out?

  “Again, you have nothing to explain,” Raquel said. “To me or anyone.”

  “Thank you.” Cara heard people talking in the background. Raquel must be walking into the church.

  “All I want is for you to be happy. And if Josh is the one who makes you that way, then you have my full support.”

  “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We haven’t even gone on our first date yet.” They would soon. Perhaps as early as tonight.

  She used the baby spoon to scrape away cereal dribbling down Kimberly’s chin. Like her brother, the little girl wore her pajamas. Unlike her brother, hers were rainbow-striped. Nathan’s had cartoon cowboys riding ponies and waving their hats in the air.

  “I knew from the moment I met August he was the one I’d been waiting for my whole life.”

  Raquel was a romantic. The first time Cara had met Josh, she’d been convinced he and his brother cared nothing about Dos Estrellas or their late father, other than what money they could get from the estate. It had taken months for Cara to change her mind about Josh. Hardly the actions of a romantic.

  She’d started seeing him in a different light on the day he’d lassoed Wind Walker and returned the escaped mustangs to the sanctuary. The changes continued each time she watched him with his children, showing his—not to sound clichéd—sensitive side. He’d won her over entirely during the exhibition with Teddy and Wind Walker.

  Was she wrong? Making a mistake? Doubts crept in, the result of her painful past with Manuel. Maybe, when Josh returned from rescuing the stranded cattle, she’d tell him she needed more time.

  Then again, maybe, for once, she should follow her heart and jump in with both feet.

  “He’s such a fine man.” Raquel’s remark regarding Josh broke into Cara’s thoughts. “A lot like August. He’d have been so proud of Josh.”