Chapter 9
Jackson
I text her every day that entire week. She made me text first each time. It made me laugh that she wouldn't talk to me but would text me all night long. There were nights we text for four or five hours straight, but she refused to answer if I called her. I even sat through a damn girlie movie while sitting alone on my couch. She wouldn't let me cheat either. I actually watched the whole movie. I hadn't even done it get laid. There was nobody there with me.
I found myself sitting through meetings without paying attention. That wasn't going to work. It wasn't just me that had to deal with my decisions. There were other people counting on those choices as well.
As soon as my ass was home, I'd be hooked to my phone like a teenager with a crush. It was ridiculous, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. The only time I got any work done was while she was at work.
I didn't even mention my flight to California and back to her. She didn't seem thrilled that I'd flown to Virginia, so I didn't really see the point in telling her anything else.
Tina was all I could think about while I was awake or asleep. There were times I was at my desk laughing so loud after reading a text from her. My assistant even came to check on me one time. I looked like a complete fool. I couldn't remember the last time I'd gotten along that well with anyone. She didn't care about who I was or what I had. Well, she didn't even know what I had, but I knew it wouldn't make a difference. She wouldn't care if I was poor or rich, she'd hate me or like me all the same.
The weekend came, and I knew I needed to see her mom. I had to face her eventually, and I really needed her advice. Tina had no idea how lucky she was to have parents that loved her for who she was. Her mom would never judge her. I wasn't so sure she wasn't going to judge me though. When I called, she seemed very friendly and told me I could come over no problem. She even offered for me to stay the night there. She always did. I never took her up on the offer, but it was nice to know I was welcome.
As soon as I parked the car, she had the front door open and was waiting with open arms to hug me. I was so damn nervous to walk into that house.
“Don't give me that look, Jackson,” she said. “There's nothing in there to get you.”
I let out a laugh and walked in.
“Come in the kitchen,” she said. “I'm making dinner. Tim came over and took his dad out for the day to some new movie. I knew we'd need time to talk. You hungry?”
“You know I'm always hungry for anything you make, mom,” I said, as I looked at her with the biggest smile I could put on my face. “Can I still call you that?”
“Of course, honey,” she said. “You'll always belong here. You kids must think I'm blind. I've known forever that you and Tina had a thing for each other.”
“What?” I asked, as I sat down at the kitchen table.
“Oh my,” she said, as she moved to the stove to stir something she was cooking. “That girl's had it bad for you since she was so young. Even when she walked in with that very handsome guy at the wedding, she couldn't keep her eyes off of you. You're no better than she is. You've watched over her since you started high school. I have to give you two credit, I never thought anything ever happened between you. I have to say, I was a little surprised at the reception. I think I was more surprised with her potty mouth than I was that you two had been together once. I wasn't real happy it was when you were so young though. It makes sense. That was around the time you two grew apart and she took off running from here. I always thought she was ashamed of us. I had no idea it was because of you.”
“She misses you,” I said. “I know she does. She doesn't think she's made you proud.”
“I'm very proud of her, Jackson,” she said. “I'm just as proud of you and Tim as well. You're all great kids. I just don't understand how after one time together, you both went separate ways. I always thought the two of you would grow up and see that you belonged together.”
“Tim's always been a great friend. Without him, I wouldn't have you and dad. I wouldn't have a family. He doesn't think I'm good enough for her. He never has. When we were thirteen, he made me promise that I would never be with her at all. I did it. I had no idea. Sure, I liked her, but I could do that for him. I did a fine job until that party. She took off, and her friends didn't know where she was. I went looking for her. Something happened that night. We talked for hours. Not that silly crap we always did. It was real. Neither of us planned for anything to happen, but it did. She went back to her room, and I went back to the beach to think. I didn't want to walk away from her, but I felt horrible for going against Tim. He was right. I wasn't good enough for her. It took everything in me to leave that night. I've regretted it every single day since then. I hope you and dad can forgive me.”
“He feels the same way I do about the two of you,” she said. “We both love you, Jackson. You are not too good for her. You are perfect for each other. What would you have done if Tim hadn't made you promise that when you were so young?”
“I wouldn't have left that night. I missed her so much that year. You have no idea how horrible I felt for missing her graduation. When I saw her that night, there was no place else I wanted to be. I didn't want to be in the room partying with a bunch of girls we'd just met.”
“What did you come to talk about, Jackson? I can tell you need something. What is it?” she asked, as she filled a bowl with chili and set it in front of me.
She sat down on the chair next to me and waited.
“I needed to talk to you about what she said at the reception. I didn't want you to think badly of me. The craziest part about it was Tina. She asked me to fix it with you so I had my family. She wasn't even worried about what you'd think of her,” I said.
“You were both young. I totally get that. I know you would never hurt her,” she said. “What else is on your mind?”
“We've been talking since she went home,” I said quickly. “She'll only talk through text messages. I've tried to call her, but she won't answer the phone. I think she's afraid to talk to me. It's not been romantic. We've talked about work, family, and everyday things. Some nights we've gone back and forth for hours.”
“Okay,” she said.
“I can't stop thinking about her. You know how hard I work. She's all I think about there too. No matter what I do, she's there. I can't wait to get home just so I can talk to her. I don't know what to do. Tim hates me, and I don't blame him. I let him down. He would be so upset if he knew we were talking. Part of me knows I should leave her alone forever. That's what he would want. I just don't think I can do it. She would be mad if my friendship with him ended because I was still talking to her. I can't tell you how many times I've thought about her since she left. I love having your family as my own. I really do. You will never know how much you mean to me. I regret my decisions that night I was with her. I should have told him, and I shouldn't have let her go. I care about her.”
“I know you do. She cares about you too. If she didn't, she wouldn't have lied about that guy being her boyfriend. It was because of you. I watched her. She couldn't keep her eyes off of you. What are you going to do?” she asked.
“I honestly don't know,” I said. “I guess I have to figure out which relationship is more important.”
“No matter what you do,” she began, as she put her hand on my arm. “You're still family. You just have to think about things and decide what you really want in your life.”
I ate in silence with her right there. Neither of us said anything else. I wanted to make sure I was gone before Tim got back with his dad. He wasn't someone I was ready to face. There were some things I needed to figure out first.
Chapter 10
Tina
Sunday morning came, and I couldn't wait to see if he'd sent me a message. I grabbed my phone and turned it on to find nothing there. After my shower, I still hadn't gotten a message. Was that it, I wondered? Was he already tired of talking to me? Maybe he'd met up with someone after we finis
hed messaging Saturday night and was still with them, I thought. After the week we'd had, I honestly thought he was in it for at least a bit longer. A sad feeling washed over me. Why did I let him get to me?
I climbed back in bed and grabbed my e-reader to pass the time. Before I realized it, my stomach was rumbling and the book I'd started was finished. I made myself a frozen meal and fell onto the couch to watch television. Five hours had gone by without a single word from Jackson. I wanted to send him a message, but I knew I needed to let things go the way he wanted them to. There was no way I was pushing anything.
I was deep into watching a girlie movie with tears running down my face when my phone rang. Without thinking, I answered it.
“Hello,” I said.
“Tiny?”
Oh crap! I didn't mean to answer to him. I sniffled and wiped the tears from my eyes before I paused the show I had been watching.
“Jackie?” I asked.
“What's wrong?” he asked quickly.
“Nothing,” I said, trying to hide my emotions.
“Don't nothing me, woman. I'm driving right now, and you're freaking me out. What is going on?”
“I'm fine,” I said.
“What's Chris' number?” he asked.
“Why would you need his number?” I asked confused.
“He either knows why you're crying, or he's the reason. You two know too damn much about each other. I don't like it, Tiny,” he said.
“I haven't talked to Chris all weekend. He has his daughter right now,” I snapped at him. “I don't really care if you like it or not. I have a life, Jackie.”
“I know you do,” he whispered. “Please tell me why you're crying. I can't fly out today. I have to be at the office early tomorrow. I will cancel though.”
“I was watching a movie,” I said. “It made me cry. You could have watched it too, but you were busy elsewhere. Your loss I guess.”
I let out a laugh. There was no way he would have wanted to sit through the movie. It was hard enough to get him to watch the entire movie the night before.
“You're crying because of a movie. Are you sure?”
“I'm positive,” I said. “What are you doing today?”
I knew it was none of my business, but I didn't care. He could hang up the phone if he didn't want to answer. I wasn't meaning to answer for him anyway.
“I'm on my way home. I have to get some work done today since I spent so much time watching a movie with someone last night. I have to prepare for tomorrow.”
“Where are you on your way home from?” I asked.
“I was eating a bowl of the best chili in world,” he said. “What did you do all morning?”
“Are you serious?” I asked. “I was at home, under the covers, reading until I realized I needed to eat. Then I got up and cooked a frozen meal, and you were at my mom's house eating like a king.”
“It had cheese, corn bread, and sour cream on top. Mmmmm,” he said.
“Do not make that sound on the phone, Jackson,” I said.
“Why not?” he asked.
“You don't even like sour cream. You're just saying that to make me jealous. I bet she didn't even have corn bread.”
He laughed into the phone, and I felt a tear slip from my eye. I missed him so much. The sound of his voice made me feel things I didn't need to be feeling.
“Mmmmm,” he said again.
“Stop it,” I yelled.
He laughed again, and I started laughing with him.
“I'm hanging up on you. You're not supposed to call me,” I said.
“You were the one that answered. I couldn't believe it,” he said.
“Bye,” I said.
“Don't hang up,” he said in a soft tone. “I have an hour left to drive. Stay on the phone. You know you missed my messages this morning. I know you won't admit it, but you missed them.”
“I guess my mom doesn't hate you then,” I said. “She still fed you. She only feeds people she likes.”
“We talked for a couple of hours. Your dad was with your brother at a movie or something. I had your mom all to myself.”
“Did you talk about what I said at the reception?” I asked nervously.
I hadn't spoken to my mom except for a few minutes to tell her we were leaving early to go home. I was a little worried about what she thought of me.
“We did,” he said.
“Does she think less of me because of it?” I asked.
“No,” he said. “She said that she always thought we were going to end up together.”
“Why would she think that?” I asked. “You were always so mean to me. You picked on me all the time. Did you tell her it just happened? Did you tell her it never happened again?”
“Why would I say that?” he asked. “It did happen again. I'm not going to lie to her. I told her I've had a crush on you since I was fifteen.”
“You did not,” I said.
“I did,” I said. “Not going to lie. She loves you so much.”
“What else did you talk about?” I asked.
“That's between me and your mom. If you want to know, you can ask her.”
“Why do you work so much? Do they pay you to work on Saturday and Sunday? It seems like you go above and beyond. I hope they appreciate you there. You need to slow down, Jackie. You've been working every moment this entire week. I don't even think you sleep. I'm all about being responsible. I just think you need to think about you. Tim was gone for almost a week, living it up. You were working your ass off the whole time. What about you?”
“I'm fine,” he said. “I have my reasons for working so hard. It keeps me busy. I'm proud of the man I am and what I've done with my life. You should come visit. I could show you where I work, and you would love my tub. I wouldn't be able to get your ass out of it. I think you'd be proud of what I've accomplished.”
“I'm sure I would be very proud of who you are. You know I don't care about money or anything else. Are you happy where you work? That's all that matters is that you're happy and that you take time for you,” I said.
“I'm happy right now,” he said, and I couldn't help but wonder what he meant exactly. “I don't need a vacation. What would I do anyway? I'll make a deal with you.”
I didn't say anything for a minute. Talking to him was harder on me than I thought it would be.
“Tiny,” he said.
“What?”
“I'll take a vacation. I'll go for a whole week and not touch one bit of work,” he said.
“That sounds good,” I said.
“If you go with me,” he added.
“I can't do that,” I said.
“Why not?” he asked.
“I have to work,” I said.
“We'll go the week before you go back to work at the school. You can quit your other job one week earlier. That way it won't interfere with either job.”
“I'm not quitting my job at the restaurant, Jackie. I work there all year long,” I said.
“How?” he asked.
“I work there at night and when they need me,” I said.
“You work two jobs during the school year?” he asked.
“Of course I do,” I said. “I teach because I love it. I work at the restaurant so I can try and save up money. I don't want to live in an apartment forever. I want to be able to buy a house without payments one day.”
He was quiet for a minute. I thought maybe our call had been lost.
“Are you still there?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said.
Something had changed, and I wasn't sure why.
“Maybe I'll just come and stay with you for a week then,” he said. “I could meet your friends and see how the new Tina lives.”
“Very funny,” I said with a laugh. “I think you'd be sadly disappointed.”
“That's not possible,” he said so low I wasn't positive I'd heard him correctly.
We moved on to talk about normal life. He never mentioned being home, b
ut I could hear him moving around. I also heard the beep of his car locks. Neither of us mentioned hanging up.
We ended up talking for over three hours. The thought of letting him go and not hearing his voice anymore made me sad. I knew he had work to do, so I told him I was going to bed. It was one of the hardest things I'd done in a long time.
When I got home from work the next day, I found the most beautiful flower arrangement sitting outside my apartment door. It put a huge smile on my face and wiped away the sad feelings I had through the day. The card attached said “I hope you have a great week, Tiny.” It didn't need a signature. He was the only one that had ever been allowed to call me that. As soon as I put them on display on my counter, I pulled out my phone and took a picture. My apartment would smell so good in no time. I loved the smell of fresh flowers. I always had.
Me: Thank you so much, Jackie. They made my day.
Jackson: Anything for you, Tiny.
Two minutes later my phone rang. I knew it was him when I answered it. He said he'd been in a meeting all day and had just gotten home. I wanted to know about his job and his life. I wondered what his house looked like and what kind of car he drove. There were so many things I couldn't help but think about. What was Jackson's life like? My entire family knew everything about him. He knew all about their lives as well. I knew none of it. I really did miss all of them, even my brother. I cared about my friends and loved Chris, but it just wasn't the same in New York. Being back in Florida reminded me of what I was missing.
In Love with My Brother's Best Friend: Complete Box Set Page 15