Second Chance Hero

by Rebecca Sherwin

  “Are we back at uni?” I sit down on the opposite end of the sofa and pick up my tea, not looking in Jenna’s direction. I can't.

  Instead of saying something that’ll end up pissing us both off, she stays at her end of the sofa, but faces me and crosses her legs. I lean over and grab the remote, pressing play for the film, and then finally look at her.

  “What’s wrong?” She asks.

  “Let’s talk about yesterday before we end up watching the film. I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. I should have stayed, but I promise you I was planning on going to London anyway, I just hadn’t planned when. I didn’t think it at the time, but it gave us a chance to calm down.” she sips her tea and I watch her lips as they glisten, before she licks them, “We have to be adults about this. It’s not doing either of us any good making assumptions and over reacting.”

  “I know.” The cut on the back of my hand proves it. I’d spent all day wondering if Jenna would actually come back and slipped off a ladder, scraping my hand on something on the way down the last few steps, “I just panicked.”

  “But why?”

  “Because I had so much shit going on in my head because of what I thought I saw. It was a shock to the system to realise none of it was necessary.”

  “You should have just asked me.”

  “I will.” I nod, feeling guilty that I don't completely believe her; she’s always had such a good poker face, and I saw her at the hospital. In the maternity ward, “Why were you there?”

  “I told you, I was having my injection,” something crosses her face and she folds her arms, exposing more of her chest out of the top of her vest. This is heading to an argument, I can't look, and “You don't believe me.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You read my body like a book, I read your face. I can practically see the words.”

  “I just don't get why you were in a building that brings babies into the world, to have an injection to stop you having them.”

  “They have a family planning clinic in the same building, although I don't see why I should have to explain myself to you.”

  “You don't. But don't they have a clinic here?”

  I feel terrible; I don't think this is how she saw tonight going when she brought our favourite film, a guilty pleasure on my part, and her comfort blanket round to my house.

  She’s turned to the TV as the film opens, but her eyes are looking round the room, and she’s breathing weird, like she’s panicking.

  “You can't tell anyone.” What? “You can't tell anyone you saw me at the hospital.”

  “Why?”

  She shakes her head; she still hasn’t looked at me, “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “I know you, Jen. Try me.”

  She doesn’t want to tell me, I can see it in her eyes and feel the nervousness streaming off her. Why does she think I’m going to judge her? That’s exactly what she’s thinking, because she spends minutes starting and stopping what she’s going to say.

  “I don't want anyone to know why I was there,” she says finally, “because Kip thinks we’re not using protection.”

  “You’re planning a baby?!” I stand up, without thinking about my reaction.

  “Deacon, I have injections every three months so I can't get pregnant.”

  I think I might pull some hair out as I grip it and sit down, remembering what she said about over reacting. The thought of her and Kip even in the same bed has me wanting to break something, preferably his nose. So the idea of them making a baby has tipped me over the edge into Crazy Town.

  “I don't get it.” She’s with this guy; he thinks they’re trying for a baby. But she doesn’t want a baby with him and we’ve been doing what we’re doing. She’s right, I don't understand.

  “I said you wouldn’t,”

  “Jen, you’re not making much of an effort to explain it to me.”

  “I don't want a baby!” She shouts, gripping the blanket, “I’m not ready for children; I’d be a terrible mother.”

  She’s kidding, right? I’ve seen Jenna with Phillipa; there’s no way the girl sitting next to me, caressing her blanket between her fingers, would be anything less than a brilliant parent.

  “Why would you say that? You don't want kids?”

  “Look at the mess we’re in, Deac. It’s like this because of me. It would be a tragedy to bring a baby into the world. How could I possibly make choices for a child when I can't even take control of my own life?”

  “Don't.” I reach over and pull the material from her, holding both her hands in one of mine, because I hate what she thinks of herself.

  “No, you don't.” She tries to pull her hands away but my grip is like a vice, “Stop pretending this is okay. I came to watch a movie with my best friend. Please let’s just have one night where everything is simple and we’re each other’s favourite person in the world.”

  “Come here.” I pull the blanket off her and put it on the floor next to me. Jenna shakes her head, “We used to do this. Come here.”

  She almost smiles as she stands up and joins me on the sofa; I lay us both down, her back to my front, and pull the blanket back over us. Our moods lift the second we touch, and we watch the film, laughing in the right places. Jenna looks up, to see if I’m still awake, and I kiss her forehead, wrapping my arm around her waist and linking my fingers with hers. My other hand is holding my head up so Jenna has been in peripheral vision the entire way through the film.

  “Deac?” She says as my lips leave her head and I look back to the TV.

  She doesn’t say anything, just turns around to get comfortable, and our hands settle on her stomach as she studies me. I pretend not to notice her looking, choosing to focus on where our hands are. I’m happy she isn’t having a baby, but part of me wanted her to be and I wanted it to be mine; I wanted our night together to mean something more than an alcohol fuelled first time.

  Jenna calls me again and I continue to ignore her, fighting the smile and the urge to look at her because I know I’ll kiss her if I do.

  But she makes the first move reaching up with her free hand and running her thumb along my bottom lip.

  “Red.” She pulls my head down so I have to look at her, “I want to kiss you.”

  I smirk, “you don't have to ask.”

  “Am I taking advantage if I do it?”

  I shake my head, and kiss her instead. I’m hoping that’s what she was hinting at; she shouldn’t feel guilty if I make the first move, even if she asked for it.

  Her lips are soft and warm, and as she grips the back of my neck and as she opens her mouth for my tongue; I want to spend my life exploring her mouth. Time stops as she strokes her fingers through my hair, unlinks our fingers and sneaks her hand up the back of my t-shirt. I hold my breath as her warm hand touches the bottom of my back and slides up to my shoulders. I let her pull me closer and move so I’m settled between her legs, our lips still moving to our unique rhythm; a slow but lustful dance I’ve never experienced with anyone before.

  There’s no rush this time, no urgency, no race to release. It’s just us and the quietened sound of the movie which is drowned out by Jenna’s soft moans as my hands slowly roam her body. I grip her behind the knee and hook her leg around my waist, and she volunteers the other. I don't know how far I can take this - I don't want to push her, she spooks when her mind is given the opportunity to catch up with her heart.

  But she continues our journey when her hand leaves my hair and she grabs the bottom of my t-shirt; I sit back and take it off quickly, eager to get back to her lips. I take her bottom lip between my teeth and she moans, scraping her nails down my chest.

  “Jen,” I pull away and she’s breathless, “will this mess you up?”

  She shakes her head, “touch me.”

  I contemplate calling this off; I don't know which one of her emotions will win when it’s over. But I can't say no to her, and I’m selfish and take what I can get when it comes to Jen
na. I could think of a worse way to live life than playing this game of cat and mouse with her.

  “Are you sure?” I ask.

  “It’s you who should want to stop this, not me.” One finger slides up from the waistband of my shorts, to the bottom of my throat and back down, “I’m content with being a cheat if I can have this with you.”

  “I’ll touch you anywhere you want if you stop talking like that.” I cover her body with mine; my stomach pressed to hers, halting that pattern she was drawing on my stomach, my arms slide under her back to hold her into me, my lips on her neck.

  “Anywhere?” She asks, catching her breath as I suck on her soft skin.

  “Where do you want me to touch you, baby?”

  “Everywhere.” emotion seeps from her voice, and she holds my hand to her chest, over her heart, “I want to feel you everywhere.”

  Jenna places her palm flat to my chest and pushes me away; I sit back on my heels and look at her, as she sits up and pulls her vest over her head, and then unclasps her bra, flinging it across the room. She reaches out slowly and wraps her fingers around my wrists, guiding my hands towards her chest. I don't need any help taking her proportionate mounds in my hands, and her nipples between my fingers. She closes her eyes and pushes her chest into my hands. I feel it in my groin, watching her writhing around on my sofa, solely from my gentle touch on her scorching skin.

  I want to ask her if she's okay, if I can go further; but as my name escapes her mouth, barely above a whisper, I know she’s not thinking about stopping. My hand moves down to grip her waist, the muscles in her stomach tense as she quivers in anticipation.

  I slip my forefinger just inside the waistband of her bottoms, feeling her smooth skin underneath, with no underwear covering her.

  “I don't like to sleep in underwear.” She says through clenched teeth, lifting her hips.

  “You planned to sleep here?”

  Jenna sits up, opens her eyes and breathes heavily through her mouth.

  “I still do.” She hooks her thumbs into my shorts and slowly slides them down, “I just want one night. One night, Deac, where it’s just us.”

  “I’ll give you that.” I promise mirroring her actions, pulling her bottoms down slowly.

  “We’ll give it to each other.”

  She slides out from under me and stands up, gliding her bottoms down her legs and over her feet, eyeing me to do the same. I do, and when we’re both naked, I look down at her as her gaze burns up into me. I fist my cock, watching Jenna look down and lick her lips; the weight of it is almost painful and if it swells anymore I’ll be on my knees begging her to take me.

  Her eyes stay on my hand as I slowly work my shaft and Jen steps towards me, her hand outstretched.

  “No.” She says as I take my hand away to let her take me in hers.

  I continue, wondering what she’s doing but she curls her hand around mine and our eyes connect as we work together. It’s the most intimate thing I’ve ever done and the fire in her eyes tells me she feels the same.

  I grab her and pull her into me, instantly seeking her out to make her feel what I’m feeling. I feel her arousal as soon as I touch her, and slide my finger through her wetness. Jenna gasps and squeezes my arm, closing her eyes. I keep my eyes on her and slip my hand out from underneath hers, cupping her throat and pulling her mouth to mine. She opens her mouth for me and whimpers as I add a second finger and find her clit with my thumb, and I smile watching her struggle to stay on her feet.

  My lips leave Jenna’s and I look at her in time to watch her fall apart, crying out my name and throwing her head back. When I continue my rhythm she puts her forehead on my chest and begs me; I don't know what for but I know she’s building again quickly and as her first orgasm rolls into the second, her legs give way, and I catch her around the waist, lifting her with one arm, while my hand creeps up to her hair and grabs a handful. I pull her head back and she moans.

  “Jenna, I need to fuck you.”

  “I need to be fucked.”

  I walk the few short strides across the living room, stopping at the bottom of the stairs; Jenna’s kissing my neck, biting the sensitive skin and soothing the burn with flicks of her tongue.

  “You need to be fucked, by who?” I ask, needing her give me the right answer.

  “You.” She whispers, nipping my ear, “Only you.”

  I lose control; I had planned to take her to my bed again, but she speaks the answer I wanted to hear and I have to have her.

  I slam her against the glass wall and she gasps as her back hits the cold surface. I’ve been thinking about taking her here all night. I wanted tonight to be gentle, a night we could savour, but it’s not going to happen.

  “Do it.”

  She swallows hard and reaches round, gripping me tightly, working me as she guides me towards her entrance. She tenses as I ease myself in, gripping the back of my neck with both hands like I’ll drop her; but nothing is going to ruin this for us tonight.

  “Jen, you’re so tight. You’ve got to relax.”

  She takes a deep breath, and sucking the air in through her teeth, opens up and I sink in all the way. She grips my shoulders and tells me to take her. Both of my hands are wrapped around her waist, holding her to me as I lift her away and sink back in slowly. She’s pushing against me, her legs hooked around my waist, her heels digging in the bottom of my back as I drive into her.

  “God, you're so deep.” She cries, gasping every time she takes all of me.

  I can feel her building, tensing and releasing. It comes sweetly and I keep my eyes locked on her face as she thumps her head back on the glass and cries in ecstasy.

  I stop, still inside her and grip her behind, holding her in place as I step back and walk backwards towards the stairs.

  “What are you doing?” She asks, still riding the waves of her climax.

  “Shh.” I put my finger to her lips and her warm breath caresses my finger tip. I climb up the first few steps, “I want to watch you fuck me.”

  I sit down, pulling Jenna down with me and she kneels up on the step, almost taking me out of her. She grips the banisters on either side of us and slides down my throbbing cock with ease. She’s slick and wet and it feels incredible watching her ease herself up and down, her chest rising and falling as she catches her breath.

  She sits right up; I lift my head thinking she's getting off but she slams down quickly, taking me by surprise and I curse, feeling the spurt of pre-cum escape into her. Her pace quickens, and then slows, teasing me and building the tension in my body. I’m desperate to come, but she holds me back, and I want this to go on forever. The feel of her riding me, the sound of flesh hitting flesh and the way she looks, bouncing above me with her head thrown back, her hands behind her on my legs, and the cries that escape her have me on the brink. I put my thumb to her lips and she takes it in her mouth. I sneak one hand round and grab her behind, holding her still, taking my thumb from her mouth and stroking circles on her clit.

  “Deacon.” She whimpers, bucking as I control her pace and take her pleasure.

  I’m so close, but I need her to plunge first. She likes it rough, I know that much. I decide to risk it. I let go of her, keeping my thumb on her clit, I let her plunge back down, and smack her hard on the behind as I fill her. She screams, and collapses on top of me, and her tightening muscles is enough to send me over the edge. I hold her in place, emptying myself inside her, while she milks me.

  Jenna hasn’t moved from her spot on top of me; she’s lethargic and sated. I roll us and she flops onto the stair next to me, not far from sleep. I pick her up, holding her close to my chest while her legs dangle exhaustedly over my arm. I take us straight to the bedroom, pull back the sheets and climb in, spooning behind her.

  “You alright?” I ask, kissing her hair.

  “Yes, I've never been so alright.” She holds my arm around her and runs her fingers up and down my forearm, “This situation sucks.”

  I kn
ow, “why?”

  “Because we should be doing this every night.”

  “Why can't we?” She strokes circles on the back of my hand.

  “What happened?” She asks running her finger over the already healing cut.

  “I slipped off a ladder today.” We’re silent for long minutes, and I listen to her slow breathing, “One day we’ll have this, Jen. You're the only girl I’ll ever want and I’ll wait my whole life, until you're ready.”

  I stroke my fingers through her hair, waiting for her response but she’s asleep. I can only hope she heard what I said, at least in her dreams.

  ~

  The minute I open my eyes Saturday morning I know she’s gone. The presence I feel when Jenna is near isn’t there but I sit up looking for her anyway. I turn to look at the pillow she slept on last night, and see her blanket folded up on it with a note on top. I rub my eyes and pick up the paper, unfolding it slowly.

  ‘People change. It has everything to do with you.

  I’m both sorry and ecstatic about last night. I wish I could explain what’s

  going on, but I think will work out how they’re supposed to.

  I’ll understand if you don't want to come to dinner tonight, but I can promise

  you my heart and mind will be with you all night, wherever we both are.

  Love,

  Jenna

  x

  P.S. I swapped my blanket for your surf club sweater.’

  I forgot about the damn dinner. How am I supposed to go and watch Jenna and Kip together, knowing what happened last night? Maybe I’ll just stay home and work on the contract for her cake shop.

  Fuck it, I have to go. I need to see her with him to make sure I’m not imagining what’s happening with us.

  Chapter 22

  Jenna

  Last night was the most incredible night of my life.