Diamonds and Dust

by Jessie Evans

  “That sounds serious,” Pike said, touching his hand lightly to Tulsi’s back. “Why don’t I take Clem to get wings and we’ll meet you at the tables by the dance floor?”

  Tulsi blinked. “Oh, well—”

  “That’s a great idea, Mr. Pike!” Clem dropped Tulsi’s hand and snatched up Pike’s.

  By the time Tulsi pulled herself together and called after them for Clem to be on her best behavior, they were already halfway down the aisle. Tulsi watched them go, hand in hand, refusing to let the fear still lingering at the back of her mind take root. She didn’t have to be afraid of Pike and Clem spending time together. It was natural that the sight of something she’d feared for so long would cause her anxiety, but there was no need for anxiety anymore. Everything was going to be okay and it was wonderful that Pike and Clem seemed to be hitting it off.

  “We’ll see you in a few,” Marisol said, kissing Bubba one last time before she and Tulsi started toward the house to find an empty bathroom. They were barely out of earshot, however, when Marisol jabbed Tulsi lightly in the ribs and asked, “So how long have you and Mr. Baseball been banging?”

  Tulsi’s eyes flew wide as she glanced over her shoulder, but Bubba didn’t seem to have heard. “Is it that obvious?” Tulsi hissed as she turned back to Marisol. “We’re trying to keep it a secret until after the wedding.”

  Marisol lifted one brow. “Well, I guess if someone were blind they might have missed all the loaded looks and hand-holding during the wedding…”

  Tulsi fought a smile. “We’re both just too happy to hide it, I guess.”

  “You shouldn’t hide it!” Marisol put her arm around Tulsi’s shoulders and gave her an excited squeeze. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve a man who can’t keep his hands off of you, but I have to admit I’m curious. Is Pike the bad boy you were talking about last time I was in town? The one you had the history with?”

  Tulsi sighed, her smile fading. “Yes, but nothing is the way I thought it was. Pike’s wonderful. We just… We both made a lot of mistakes when we were younger. But we’re putting all of that behind us and moving on with a fresh slate.”

  “Sounds smart,” Marisol said as they climbed the steps to Mia’s parents’ house. “That’s the only way to do it, just leave all the bullshit in the past and move on.”

  “That’s what Pike says.” Tulsi held the door and followed Marisol inside the empty great room of the Sherman home. Everyone else was on their way to the tents set up next to the house, where Mia and Sawyer were holding their reception, and the house was so quiet Tulsi swore she could hear the ghosts of her and Mia’s younger selves talking about what toys they were going to play with next.

  “But you don’t agree with him?” Marisol asked, glancing over her shoulder.

  “No, I do,” Tulsi said. “I’m just having a harder time with it than he is I think.”

  Marisol stepped into the bathroom and turned back to Tulsi with a hard look. “And why’s that? Don’t you think you deserve a fresh start? I certainly think you do.”

  Tulsi lifted one shoulder and looked up at the ceiling, fighting the urge to spill her guts. The fact that Marisol was a new friend and not firmly entrenched in the old drama made her easy to talk to, but if Tulsi wasn’t going to tell Pike the truth she couldn’t tell anyone else. Pike was the person who deserved her honesty the most. Besides, she didn’t want to burden Marisol with a secret like this. She and Bubba might not be living in Lonesome Point, but they would be coming back to visit often and when they did they would be part of the family.

  The tight-knit, closer-than-blood, Lonesome Point family of friends Tulsi had been lying to for years and would keep lying to until the day she died.

  “Okay, spill it,” Marisol said, dropping the powder she’d just fished from her purse to the counter with a thwack.

  “There’s nothing to spill,” Tulsi said, forcing a weak smile. “Everything’s fine.”

  “You look like you’re about to be sick.” Marisol’s voice dropped to a dramatic whisper. “Oh my God, are you pregnant?”

  Tulsi’s eyes bulged. “No! I’m on the pill and we were careful and…no. Just no.” She had been on the pill and they’d been careful last time, too. But they’d still managed to get pregnant with Clem two months after their first broken condom, when they assumed they had dodged an unplanned pregnancy and were in the clear.

  The thought made Tulsi’s knees go weak. She barely made it to the closed toilet seat before they buckled. She sat down hard, her clenched teeth grinding as she fought a wave of nausea.

  “I’m not pregnant,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I just don’t know if I can do this.”

  “Do what?” Marisol knelt on the ground beside her, laying a gentle hand on Tulsi’s knee. “You can talk to me, you know. I won’t share anything you say with Robert or anyone else if you don’t want me to.”

  Tulsi pressed her lips together as she shook her head. “I can’t tell you. I can’t tell anyone. I have to forget about it and move on. Pretend it never happened.”

  Marisol was quiet for a moment. “Well, I obviously don’t know what’s bothering you, Tulsi, but I do know that you’re a good, sweet person and I’m betting you don’t deserve to suffer like this.”

  Tulsi shook her head again, fighting another wave of tears. “I don’t know if I’m good. I don’t know anything anymore. And I don’t know what’s right. I used to know but…I’m so confused.”

  “That’s okay,” Marisol said, taking her hand. “But being confused doesn’t make you a bad person. We all make mistakes, but the people who really love us, forgive us. And it’s our job to let them, you know? Robert taught me that, that it’s as great a gift to accept forgiveness as it is to give it.”

  “Bubba’s a wonderful guy,” Tulsi said with a hard sniff, refusing to start crying again.

  Marisol smiled. “He is, but even he can only do so much on his own. I had to learn to embrace his forgiveness and to forgive myself. And when I did, I was amazed how much better a partner I was to him. Getting rid of all that guilt I’d been carrying around freed up the energy to love him the way he deserves.”

  Tulsi nodded and took a deep breath, but didn’t speak. She didn’t know what to say or to think about how this secret was affecting her. At times, it was easy, and she barely thought about it at all. Other times, it crept up behind her like a monster in the dark and had its hands around her throat, choking the life out of her before she could do anything to stop it.

  “Want me to shut up and fix your face?” Marisol asked with a crooked smile.

  Tulsi laughed softly. “Maybe. I’m not sure this is the kind of thing I can sort through in the bathroom at my best friend’s wedding. It might take some time.”

  Marisol patted her leg before standing up to resume digging through her purse. “Okay, then we’ll try to take your mind off of it by making you even more beautiful than you are already. I’ve got blush, eye shadow, and mascara that will work for your coloring, but I’m going to have to use Robert’s powder. Mine is too dark.”

  “Robert has powder?” Tulsi asked, giggling. “What have you done to him?”

  “It’s only for right before he goes onstage,” Marisol said with a wink. “Or that’s what he makes me tell people.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Tulsi was leaning closer to the mirror, shocked by the transformation Marisol had worked. She’d felt pretty this morning in her usual blush, mascara, and lip gloss, but now her blue eyes looked impossibly large, her lips fuller, and her complexion so perfect you would think she’d never spent a day in the sun, let alone years riding horses in the desert.

  “You like?” Marisol asked. “Personally, I think you’re going to give all those supermodels Pike used to date a run for their money.”

  Tulsi blinked her newly lengthened, thickened lashes. “You’re a miracle worker.”

  Marisol laughed. “Am not. It’s just good product and a beautiful face to put it on. I’ll send you a care pa
ckage with directions and one of everything we used next week. Bubba and I have four days in Los Angeles so I’ll have plenty of time to shop.”

  Tulsi turned to Marisol, giving her an impulsive hug. “Thank you. This helped. I feel a hundred times better.”

  “Good,” Marisol released her with a final squeeze. “Then let’s go have fun. Trouble will keep for tomorrow. Today we need to drink too much champagne and dance our butts off.”

  “Agreed,” Tulsi said, following Marisol out to the party in progress.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Tulsi

  Tulsi spotted Pike and Clem the moment she started down the gently rolling hill toward the reception tent. They sat at a table for two in the shade near the dance floor, their heads bowed together conspiratorially over an increasingly gigantic pile of discarded wing bones. They were talking like old friends, and when Tulsi stopped beside the table, they looked up at her with matching guilty grins.

  “That looks like more than ten wings apiece,” Tulsi said, lifting a critical brow.

  “You look…different.” Pike’s eyes widened as he studied her face.

  “Like a princess,” Clem said in a reverent tone. “I didn’t know you were that pretty, Mama.”

  “Well thanks,” Tulsi said wryly. “I think.”

  “Your mama’s the prettiest woman I know,” Pike said in a tone that made Tulsi feel warm all over. “With princess makeup or without it.”

  “You’re sweet,” Tulsi said, knowing she was blushing. “But don’t think flattery is going to make me ignore that obscene pile of chicken bones on the table.”

  “We may have had a wing eating contest,” Pike said, grimacing. “And Clementine may have won.”

  “And Mr. Pike may have told me I didn’t have to wear a bib as long as I told you we just forgot about it,” Clem said, giggling when Pike shot her a betrayed look.

  “You little tattle tale,” he said, laughing. “I can’t believe you ratted me out.”

  “I can’t lie to Mama,” Clem said. “She’d bust my booty.”

  Tulsi huffed. “And when was the last time I busted your booty, Clementine Rae? I’ve never spanked you a single time in your life, but if you’d like me to start, let me know.”

  “Nope, nope, nope!” Clem stood on the seat of her chair and jumped into Tulsi’s arms, giving her a full arm and leg hug. “I missed you, Mama.”

  “Me too. I’ve missed you so much, bug.” Tulsi hugged Clem tight. “Do you want to come home with me? Instead of going back to camp for the last night?”

  Clem pulled back to shoot her an “are you crazy” look. “It’s just one more night. And they’re having a bonfire before lights out. We get to throw sticks in it and everything.”

  Tulsi nodded sagely while Pike chuckled. “I don’t know what I was thinking. How could a boring night with Mom compare to an excitement packed evening of throwing sticks?”

  Clem’s eyes narrowed as she smiled. “That’s sarcasm right there, missy.”

  Tulsi grinned. “Caught me. Now give me a kiss and let’s go see if there are any wings left for me.”

  Clem gave her a loud peck on the cheek, and Tulsi set her back on her feet before turning to see Pike watching her with a light in his eyes she knew she didn’t deserve. But maybe one day she would. Maybe one day she would have put enough love and truth into their relationship to make up for the secret she kept. Until then, she was going to keep reminding herself that all the good that was going to come of their fresh start was worth the growing pains of learning to live with a lie between them.

  “You aren’t mad, are you?” Pike asked softly as they followed Clem to the buffet line. “She was so cute when she was begging for more wings, I couldn’t resist.”

  Tulsi shook her head. “No, I’m not mad. But you’re going to have to learn to resist the cuteness sooner or later or she’ll rule you like a tyrant.”

  Pike wrapped his arm around her waist. “I’ll try, but it’s hard. She’s diabolically sweet.”

  Tulsi grinned up at him. “She likes you, too. But I’m going to wait to tell her about you-know-what until the next time you come to visit. Since you’re leaving the day after she gets back from camp, I don’t think she’d have time to wrap her head around us dating and intending-to-get-married right now.”

  “Yeah, I was thinking about that,” Pike said. “Leaving is a dumb idea. I don’t want to be away from you again until I absolutely have to. I’m staying here until I’m either fit to play or you and Clem are ready to come visit the ranch.”

  “Really?” Tulsi asked, excitement flushing through her. “You don’t have to go?”

  “I don’t,” Pike said, hugging her closer. “But I can get a room at the hotel if you think me sleeping at your place would confuse Clementine. I can stay at Mia’s while she’s on her honeymoon, but after I’m sure I—”

  “Don’t be crazy,” Tulsi said, waving a hand through the air. “You’re staying with me. I’ll explain it to Clementine when she gets home tomorrow. She’ll be excited. I know she will.”

  “Excited about what?” Clem asked, turning around as she stopped at the end of the buffet line. “I have big ears, you know.”

  Tulsi nodded. “I know you do, but we’ll talk about it later.”

  “What is it?” Clem asked. “Are we getting a puppy?”

  “Oh man, I want a puppy,” Pike said. “Why doesn’t this little girl have a puppy?”

  “Don’t you two gang up on me,” Tulsi said with a laugh. “No more animals until Clem and I have a place of our own. I can barely afford horse feed as it is.”

  “That reminds me,” Pike said as Tulsi filled a plate. “We should open a joint account in town. That way, anything you need, you’ll be covered.”

  Tulsi opened her mouth to protest, but Pike cut her off.

  “Don’t try to argue. What’s mine will be yours soon enough anyway, and I want to make sure my girls are taken care of.”

  The sweet words were both wonderful and painful, but Tulsi decided to focus on the wonderful. Today was a day for happiness and celebration and she wasn’t going to waste another minute feeling guilty.

  After Tulsi had her snack, she, Pike, and Clementine hit the dance floor, spinning in wild circles to the bluegrass band until they were hot and breathless and it was time to cut the cake. As soon as Mia and Sawyer were finished feeding each other the ceremonial first bite, Mia cut Clem a big slice. Clementine had just enough time to eat the entire thing and lick the icing off of her fingers before Tulsi’s father showed up in his pickup truck.

  Dale had been invited to the wedding, but he’d begged off, citing the heat and that his wife was out of town as reasons he’d rather be in charge of picking Clem up at camp and dropping her back off. As Tulsi buckled Clem into her booster in the passenger seat, while receiving a lecture on the reasons she shouldn’t drink too much, including a reminder of the time she’d vomited in the bushes at her aunt’s third wedding, she was relieved she hadn’t had to put up with Dad for the entire wedding. So far, no one but Marisol seemed to think anything of Pike and Tulsi being joined at the hip, but Dale certainly would have noticed that Tulsi was spending all her time with a notorious womanizer.

  Tulsi kissed Clem goodbye, promised Dad she’d be safe, and stood waving as the truck pulled down the drive. As soon as the truck was out of sight, she turned and hurried back to the party, but she didn’t make it past the corner of the house before Pike grabbed her and pulled her into the bushes.

  They were still making out like they were kids again when Tulsi heard the sirens coming from the direction of town, but she didn’t think anything of them. She was focused on wonderful things and the bliss she found in Pike’s arms. It wasn’t until she heard Mia calling her name in a terrified voice that Tulsi’s skin went cold and the sound of the sirens filling the air took on a chilling meaning.

  “Clementine,” Tulsi muttered, pulling out of Pike’s arms and dashing from the bushes, heading for the sound of Mia
’s voice. She found her best friend running up the rise away from the tent, her cell phone clutched in her hand and tears streaming down her pale face.

  “What is it? What is it?” Tulsi asked, gripping Mia’s shoulders and holding on tight, not knowing if she was supporting Mia or the other way around.

  “My uncle just called,” Mia said, pain and fear mixing in her eyes. “There’s been an accident. Two kids were drag racing on the highway. One of them hit your dad’s truck head on and Clementine’s air bag exploded.”

  “But she’s okay.” Tulsi gripped Mia tighter, her heart slamming in her chest. “Clem’s okay!”

  “I don’t know,” Mia sobbed. “They said she was hit with shrapnel from the air bag and maybe the other car. She’s bleeding really bad so they’re taking her straight to the hospital. Sawyer’s getting the truck; we can go right now.”

  “No,” Tulsi moaned, rage and terror rocketing through her, making it feel like the ground was tilting beneath her feet. “She’s going to be okay. She has to be okay. She has to!”

  “I’ve got you.” Pike appeared behind her, propping her up as her knees buckled. “Come on. We can all fit in the truck. She’s going to be fine. Let’s get there as fast as we can and let her know she’s not alone. She’s going to need her mama.”

  Tulsi fought to catch her breath and firm up her legs. Pike was right. Clem needed her. She couldn’t fall apart. She had to get to the hospital and get Clem’s hand in hers and then everything was going to be okay. She couldn’t let herself imagine any other outcome or fathom a world without her baby girl in it. Clem was everything, the best part of her and the biggest piece of her heart.

  There was nothing she wouldn’t do to keep her child alive.

  When they arrived at the hospital, the Emergency Room nurse met them in the waiting room to explain that Clem was in surgery to remove the shrapnel that had pierced her chest, but that the tiny Lonesome Point hospital was low on blood.