by Duncan Ball
It all happened the day he found a hidden doorway and creaked his way down the rickety staircase to the Dungeon of Doom.
‘Now to find the key to the Dark Chamber. If I find that maybe I can find the Celestial Treasure Chest too!’ Selby thought. ‘Doom Avengers is such a great computer game! I can’t stop playing it! I think of it night and day. Every time I close my eyes it’s there. If the Trifles stay away for another hour maybe I can get to Level Two. Oh, boy!’
Selby moved the mouse, slowly searching the dungeon. There was a painting of a windmill on one wall, and a bookcase filled with books on another. On the floor was a sword and a rocking horse.
‘The key must be here somewhere,’ Selby said, moving the arrow around the screen and clicking on everything in sight.
The windmill in the painting turned and then stopped. The sword sent off glittering rays, and the rocking horse rocked forward and back.
Suddenly a deep voice said:
Here’s a clue for Level Two:
If you can read then you’ll succeed.
‘Read? Succeed?’ Selby thought. ‘I know!’
Selby moved the pointer over the bookcase, clicking frantically. Finally a book fell to the floor and opened.
‘There it is!’ Selby gasped. ‘The key to the Dark Chamber!’
Selby used the pointer to put the key in the lock. With a creak the door opened.
Clever you, you’ve reached Level Two
Now let’s see if you can get to Level Three.
‘Oh, goody!’ Selby thought as he looked around. ‘Now for the Celestial Treasure Chest. Where could it be? In the mummy case? Maybe I have to unwrap the mummy. Or could it be something to do with the bottles in the wine rack? Maybe I’m supposed to pull down the chandelier.’
Selby was so caught up in the game that he didn’t notice that the Trifles had returned. Suddenly Mrs Trifle peered in the door of the study.
‘Selby!’ she screamed. ‘What are you doing?’
Selby froze. His fur stood on end. His ears were as hot as match heads.
‘Oh, no!’ he thought. ‘She’s caught me using the computer! This is it! Why did I ever get hooked on this stupid game?!’
‘What’s wrong?’ Dr Trifle called.
‘Come quickly!’ Mrs Trifle yelled. ‘Selby is at the computer. Look!’
Selby’s mind raced like the hands of a broken clock.
‘She can’t see that the computer is on from where she’s standing,’ he thought. ‘For all she knows I’m just sitting in the chair in front of the computer. I’ve got to turn this thing off without her seeing. And I’ve got to do it fast!’
Selby’s paw quietly pressed the OFF button shutting down the computer. But just as it went off these words flashed on the screen and then disappeared:
SELBY IS THE NEW MASTER
‘Oh, no!’ he thought. ‘I must have typed my real name when I started the game! I should have just made up a name! I didn’t know it was going to do this!’
‘What a hoot,’ Mrs Trifle said as she and Dr Trifle came around the desk. ‘Selby looks like he’s actually using the computer — but of course that’s impossible.’
‘We should get a photo of him sitting here.’
‘Forget the photo,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘You forgot why we raced home. We’ve got to have another go at Doom Avengers. I love that game!’
‘Me too. Let’s boot it up,’ said Dr Trifle. ‘Come on, Selby, get down from there.’
Selby climbed down and lay on the carpet in a panic.
‘That was soooo close!’ he thought. ‘But it’s not over yet. If they don’t get further along in the game than I did it’ll say SELBY IS STILL THE MASTER when they quit. Then they’ll know that I was playing with the computer and they’ll put two and two together and then they’ll know my secret!’
‘Let’s pick up the game from where we left off, okay?’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘I don’t want to start from the beginning again.’
Selby watched as the Trifles fumbled their way through the Magic Maze to the hidden door behind the Fantasy Fountain.
‘How do we open the door?’ Dr Trifle asked. ‘There’s no key and there’s no doorknob. We’re stuck.’
‘Just knock the knocker, for heaven’s sake!’ Selby thought. ‘It’s simple!’
‘Maybe we should try knocking the knocker,’ Mrs Trifle said.
‘I don’t know,’ Dr Trifle cautioned. ‘Remember, if you do the wrong thing sometimes you end up back at the beginning again. Maybe we should think of a reason why we should be knocking the knocker before we do it.’
‘You’re right,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘Let’s just quit and come back later.’
‘Forget the reasons!’ Selby thought. ‘Just go ahead! Don’t be so scared. Try things! It’s only a game. Please don’t quit now!’
‘Oh! Let’s live dangerously,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘I can’t stand the suspense. I’ve got to try the knocker.’
Selby breathed a sigh of relief as the door opened and the Trifles made their way down the staircase and into the Dungeon of Doom.
Once again the voice said:
Here’s a clue for Level Two:
If you can read then you’ll succeed.
‘Hmmm,’ Dr Trifle hmmmed. ‘These clues are too confusing. Of course we know how to read but what does that have to do with anything?’
For fifteen minutes Selby watched as the Trifles tried everything in the room. Finally, just as they were about to give up, they touched the book in the bookcase and out came the book and the key. In a minute they were inside the Dark Chamber.
The deep voice spoke again:
Clever you, you’ve reached Level Two
Now let’s see if you can get to Level Three.
Mrs Trifle tried and tried to find the Celestial Treasure Chest without success.
‘Oh, I give up,’ she said. ‘And I’m hungry. Let’s close it down and come back after lunch.’
‘Any minute now they’ll stop the game and the sign will flash on and give my secret away,’ Selby thought.
Selby waited for the terrible moment. He closed his eyes. Hot tears ran down his cheeks. His body shuddered. He began to whimper and whine.
‘Gulp. This is it,’ he thought.
Dr Trifle looked away from the computer screen.
‘Goodness,’ he said. ‘Selby must be having a bad dream. He’s-he’s sort of whining. I’ve never heard him whine before. He must be sick. I think we should take him to the vet.’
‘I think we’re onto something here,’ Mrs Trifle said, staring at the computer screen.
‘You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?’ Dr Trifle said.
‘Please darling, could it wait? I’m really into this.’
‘But Selby could be sick. Would you please listen to me?’
‘I’m listening, I’m listening. I’ll be with you in a second,’ Mrs Trifle said moving the pointer to the wine rack. ‘Please don’t spoil my concentration.’
Suddenly a bottle moved out and there was a loud clong! as the wine rack slid aside. There behind it was the Celestial Treasure Chest.
More more more! You’re heading for Level Four.
If you stay alive, you could reach Level Five.
‘Now that’s enough,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘You’re getting hooked on this silly game. It’s not good for you. Let’s have some lunch, okay?’
‘That’s fine with me,’ Mrs Trifle said, clicking the mouse to stop the game. With this, this sign came up:
MRS TRIFLE IS THE NEW MASTER
‘You’re a very clever person,’ Dr Trifle said. ‘How did you know to pull out that bottle in the wine rack?’
‘Me? You were the one who said it.’
‘No, I didn’t.’
‘Yes, you did. You said something about wine.’
‘No, no,’ Dr Trifle laughed. ‘I said I’d never heard Selby whine before. Wh-wh-whine, not wine. I knew you weren’t listening to me.’
‘Sorry, dear,’ Mrs Tr
ifle said. ‘But look, Selby seems okay now. Why he’s as happy as Larry.’
‘I’m happier than Larry,’ Selby thought. ‘I’m as happy as Selby!’
SELBY SPRUNG
‘The program showing the highlights of yesterday’s Bush Olympics is about to come on TV,’ Selby thought. ‘I wish the Trifles would hurry up and go out so I can watch it.’
‘The Reynolds are usually on time,’ Mrs Trifle said to Dr Trifle as they sat reading the morning newspaper. ‘Where could they be?’
‘I’m sure they’ll be here soon,’ Dr Trifle said, turning to the sports page. ‘Goodness me! Look how well Bogusville did in the Bush Olympics. Do you know who won the pole vault?’
‘No, I don’t,’ Mrs Trifle said.
‘Neither do I!’ Selby thought, clamping his paws over his ears. ‘And I don’t want to know! I want to see it on TV and be surprised!’
Selby waited till Dr Trifle’s mouth stopped moving and then uncovered his ears.
‘It’s the results of the javelin we should know,’ Mrs Trifle said.
‘Sorry?’
‘The javelin. That spear thingy that you throw.’
‘I know what a javelin is. Hmmm, I’ll see if the results are here,’ Dr Trifle said, scanning the sports page. ‘Goodness me! Guess who won?! It was—’
‘No!’ Selby thought, covering his ears again. ‘Don’t tell me! I’ve got to get out of here.’
No sooner had Selby gone out to the backyard than the Trifles’ friends arrived and they all drove off together. Selby tore back into the house, turned on the TV, and then got himself a bowl of goodies to nibble before returning to the loungeroom.
‘Oh good!’ he said, talking to himself out loud. ‘It’s only just begun! Look! The men’s pole vault is about to start.’
Selby watched as Postie Paterson took a long run up and then plunged the pole into the ground, sending himself high up into the air and just clearing the bar.
‘Great jump, Postie!’ Selby yelled. ‘No one will beat that!’
Selby crammed a pawful of chips into his mouth. Then, just as the second pole vaulter was making his run, Selby heard a noise behind him. It wasn’t just a noise but a voice!
‘Excuse me,’ the voice said. ‘But who are you?’
Selby spun around to see a teenage girl sitting in a chair at the back of the room.
‘Who’s that?!’ Selby thought, his heart skipping a beat. ‘What’s she doing here?!’
‘Sorry if I startled you,’ the girl said.
‘Oh, no,’ Selby thought. ‘She saw me talking! She heard me talking! Why didn’t I look before I turned on the TV?’
‘Why are you so quiet? Cat got your tongue?’
‘She knows my secret!’ Selby thought. ‘It’s no use. I can’t pretend any longer.’
‘Hello,’ Selby said out loud.
‘Are you a friend of the Trifles?’
‘A friend? Well, I guess you could say that. I’ve known them for a long long time.’
Slowly Selby felt his panic go away.
‘This is weird,’ he thought. ‘She’s so matter-of-fact about it. I guess I should have known that sooner or later someone would catch me talking but I never thought it was going to be like this. I always thought they’d scream or faint or just run away — maybe all three at once. She seems all relaxed. It makes me feel relaxed too.’
‘This is funny,’ the girl laughed. ‘I guess the Trifles have been keeping you a secret.’
‘I’m the one who’s been keeping me a secret,’ he said.
‘I beg your pardon.’
‘I said, “I’m the one who’s been keeping me a secret,"’ Selby said. ‘They didn’t know. They don’t — even to this day. You’re the first and the only one.’
The girl looked at Selby and then laughed.
‘You’re weird,’ she said.
‘Well I guess I am a little out of the ordinary.’
‘That is funny.’
‘It is?’ Selby said. ‘By the way, who are you?’
‘Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Chelsea Reynolds. My parents are with the Trifles.’
‘And they left you here?’
‘I asked if I could just stay and read a book,’ the girl said, holding up the open book that lay in her lap. ‘I thought it might be boring listening to a lot of grown-up talk. Besides, it’s a great book. I can’t put it down.’
Suddenly Selby heard the TV announcer’s voice.
‘And now we go to the women’s javelin throw. We cross to Vicki Grant at trackside. What’s happening there, Vicks?’
‘Please excuse me,’ Selby said, ‘but if I’m sort of … ‘
‘Sort of what?’
‘Well confused, I guess. I should have known that sooner or later I’d be found out.’
‘Found out?’
‘Well you have to admit that it’s not normal,’ Selby said. ‘Me talking like this and all. You must be a bit surprised.’
‘We’ve had some great throws today, Larry, but I think this could be the big one,’ the other TV announcer said.
‘Would you mind awfully,’ the girl said to Selby, ‘if we watch this?’
‘No worries. That’s why I turned on the TV, Chelsea. Do you mind if I call you Chelsea?’
‘Of course not.’
Selby watched as a girl of about Chelsea’s age ran up to a white line and stopped abruptly, hurling a javelin far out into a field.
‘Wonderful throw! Vicki cried. ‘They’re measuring it now but I don’t think it’s quite made it.’
Selby looked at Chelsea then turned and looked out the window.
‘This is bizarre,’ he thought. ‘Okay, everything seems fine. But what now? What do I do next? It’s great that Chelsea didn’t freak out but this has to be the end of my wonderful peaceful life.’ Selby shook his head in amazement. ‘Maybe when Chelsea tells the Trifles they won’t freak out either. Maybe no one will care.’
A little movie began to play in Selby’s mind. A TV newsreader was almost at the end of the news when he said, ‘Here are a couple of stories to warm every heart. The first one comes from Bogusville, a country town here in Australia. Yesterday the mayor of that tiny town discovered that her dog, Selby, can actually talk. That’s right, he speaks perfect English. In what is thought to be a world first this talkative little terrier, this wire-haired wordsmith, this chattering chihuahua, gave a speech to the citizens of that fair town telling about himself and how he acquired his gift of the gab.’ As the newsreader continued, Selby saw a film clip of himself talking to the citizens of Bogusville. ‘At the end of his talk,’ the newsreader went on, ‘this daring little dachshund asked that his privacy be respected and that he be allowed to live his life in peace — which, of course, everyone was happy to do. Our second story comes from a toy company where they’ve invented a mechanical cat so lifelike that no one can tell the difference between it and the real thing. It just lies on the lounge all day, not moving a muscle, and purrs when you pat it. This minimum-maintenance moggy should make a purrrrrrfect Christmas gift.’
‘I’ve been worried all these years for nothing,’ Selby thought. ‘When the Trifles get home I’m going to tell them everything. No more pretending. No more trying to cover things up. No more narrow escapes.’
Selby watched two more javelin throwers make their throws.
‘And now here comes last year’s title holder,’ Vicki said. ‘She’s making her run-up. Look at that girl go! And now she lets it fly! This could be the one.’
Selby watched as the javelin flew through the air and finally stuck into the ground. Again people in white jackets came running out to measure the distance.
‘That’s it!’ Vicki cried. ‘Chelsea Reynolds has made the best throw of the day!’
‘Chelsea Reynolds?’ Selby said. ‘But that’s you. Of course it’s you! I can see that it’s you!’
‘Well, yes,’ the girl said, blushing.
‘Did you win?’ Selby aske
d.
‘Well just listen,’ Chelsea said.
‘So for the second year in a row,’ Vicki said, ‘Chelsea takes out the javelin title! What a wonderful effort. And to think, she’s been blind since birth.’
‘Congratulations!’ Selby said.
‘Thanks,’ the girl said.
‘Hang on!’ Selby said. ‘Blind? Did she say that you have been blind all your life?’
‘That’s right.’
‘Well that changes everything.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Nothing. I mean it must be very difficult —’
‘Not really,’ the girl interrupted. ‘Blind people can do a lot more than you think.’
‘Well, yes, but it must be terrible,’ Selby said, ‘being blind.’
‘No, it’s not terrible. It’s okay. Well it’s normal for me anyway.’
‘But that book —’
The girl laughed. ‘It’s written in braille, silly,’ she said, holding it up so that Selby could see the little bumps on the page. ‘You just read it with your fingertips.’
‘But you watch TV,’ Selby said.
‘Everyone watches TV,’ the girl said, ‘even blind people. But enough about me, tell me something about yourself.’
‘Well I … well … I …’
‘What do you look like?’
‘What do I look like? What do I look like? What do I look like? Hmmm. Let me see now.’
‘Well? Are you tall? Short?’
‘Well I’m — I’m short. But not too short. Sort of tall, actually. And I’m quite good looking. Do you know the film star Dino diSwarve?’
‘Yes, of course, everyone knows Dino diSwarve. They say he’s a real spunk.’
‘People often mistake us on the street. It’s embarrassing. Women keep trying to kiss me.’