Forever Red

by Carina Adams

  Mike picked her up, nodding his goodnight to us, and carried her to their tent.

  Neil dumped a bucket of water on the flames and gently tugged me toward his truck. We’d brought a tent but decided a night under the stars for old times’ sake would be better.

  “I couldn’t do it,” he whispered after we were all settled in. “I couldn’t leave you.” His arms tightened around my waist.

  “I’m glad you don’t have to,” I admitted to the stars. “But aren’t you afraid? Do you think we rushed this too much? Are we too young to move in together?”

  Neil rolled onto me. “No. I’m gonna marry you, Red. As soon as you’ll let me. The only thing that scares me is the idea you’ll wake up tomorrow and want more than a simple country boy.”

  I snorted. He was a lot of things, but simple was not one of them.

  “We are young, but we’re gonna grow old together.” He dipped down, kissing me softly. “I love you more than anything. I cannot fucking wait to start my life with you.”

  *****

  My eighteenth birthday arrived with a car in the driveway. A little black Jetta covered with a giant red bow greeted me when I walked out the door. I started to screech, jumping around like a moron. Neil and my mom only laughed. My dad had let Neil pick out the two-year-old, low-mileage, great on gas vehicle, but he’d cut the check. I was in love.

  Even though June – and graduation – came quicker than any of us wanted, I thought life was looking up. Happiness, however, would remain just out of reach for us all.

  “Your parents really aren’t coming to graduation?” I asked in disbelief.

  Neil shook his head, sitting on the bed next to me, trying to distract me with his glorious nakedness. “Nope.”

  I looked away, not ready to drop the subject. I couldn’t balance this news with the Kellys I knew. “Did you tell them you wanted them there?”

  He scowled. “They know.”

  “It’s me, isn’t it?”

  His face softened. “No, babe. It’s them.”

  I shook my head. I knew they’d be pissed he wasn’t coming home for summer break, but that was no reason to boycott their son’s commencement. Before I could ask more questions, his phone rang. Glancing down, he smiled. “Hey, Nik.”

  His face tensed. Whatever his sister was telling him was upsetting.

  “Hold on a sec,” he barked at her. Covering the receiver, he whispered, “Be right back,” to me and then walked across the room, shutting himself in the bathroom.

  Knowing I was snooping but needing to know what was going on, I crept to the door. I could hear her voice, even though I couldn’t make out any words. She must have been screaming at him.

  “I don’t give a flying fuck, Nik. I’m not coming home,” was his angry reply. More yelling from her. “Then fucking sell it!” he bellowed, making me back away from the door slightly. “Last time I checked, he left it to us. Not just me. I ran it all last summer while you did whatever the fuck you wanted to do.”

  High-pitched screeching answered that.

  “No,” he yelled back. “I pay for the goddamn manager. So if you wanna be a bitch about Gramps’ farm, then fucking sell it.”

  I’d never heard him talk to anyone the way he was speaking to her.

  “Yeah? Well, I’m fucking done. I’m not coming home.” More screaming from her. “I love her, Nik. I’m staying with her.”

  I backed away from the door, bumping into his guitar case. My mind was running a mile a minute. He loved his grandpa’s farm. That was his history, the one place where all of his good memories were housed. He wouldn’t sell it, not for a billion dollars. And definitely not to stay with me. Right? But he was. He was going to give up everything to stay here with me. No wonder his parents were angry with us.

  I needed to get out of there. I definitely couldn’t face him right now, not knowing what I did. I couldn’t let him give it all up for me. Why? Why would he do that?

  I turned to the bed, grabbing my shorts and pulling them up quickly. The shouting from the bathroom was getting louder. I fastened my bra quickly, picking up my tank top and flip-flops and hurrying out the door. I dressed while I jogged down the hallway. Halfway down the stairs, I came face-to-face with more trouble.

  “You know, sometimes around here, the trash does take itself out,” Ally crooned to her band of bimbos as they giggled.

  I glanced at the group that blocked my way out, seeing the familiar face. I’d trusted Missy with so much over the years, and it still killed me that she’d traded Jules and me in for the richer, bitchier model.

  “Move.”

  Ally acted like she didn’t hear me. Instead, she pointed at my chest. “Who’d you steal that from?”

  I glanced down, realizing that my necklace was out and tucked it back in. “It was a Christmas present,” I answered but Ally only glared at me.

  “Red?” Hearing him call for me, followed by his steps pounding in the hall, I tensed. When he appeared at the top of the stairs wearing only basketball shorts, he looked pissed. When he saw the group in front of me, he somehow looked even angrier.

  “Oooh. Trouble in paradise?” Missy asked sweetly. “Lover’s quarrel?”

  “Or maybe he just came to his senses and is kicking her out,” Ally added.

  “Both of you can fuck off,” he snapped, stopping on the step behind me. “Move. Or I will move you.”

  He didn’t say another word until I was in my car. Leaning into the window, he stared at my lap instead of at me. “I don’t know how much you heard, but I wanted to apologize. My temper got the best of me. I should never have yelled like that.”

  I didn’t care that he’d gotten angry, but I didn’t want to ask him the million questions running through my mind. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Nope,” he snapped immediately.

  “Neil, if you have to go home for a while—”

  “I don’t,” he interrupted.

  I wanted to push, wanted to know what was going on. Instead, I sighed. “I’ll see you tonight?”

  He nodded. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  Grad Night was always the Saturday before actual graduation. Held at the local party venue that was usually reserved for weddings and large business functions, it was a five-star dinner followed by an evening of dancing and letting loose with your fellow seniors. The best part was that the teachers and coaches that we’d had over the last four years were our wait staff.

  The meal was fantastic and full of laughs as the teachers told their favorite stories of us. Afterward, they bussed the tables and cleared them away, making room for a giant dance floor. Within minutes, the DJ was playing a mix of the top songs from the last four years.

  I couldn’t find my happy, though. All I could hear was Neil telling his sister to sell the farm because he was staying with me. He might feel that way now, but he’d never forgive me if she actually did it. I’d thought about it all afternoon, knowing there was no way, short of breaking up with him, that he’d go home. After the last time I’d tried that, I knew he’d never let me break up with him, either.

  Savage Garden was crooning away when Ally approached. I ignored her mostly, but it was hard to overlook the fact that she sat extremely close and put her hand on Neil’s knee. “Nate, can I talk to you?”

  He adjusted, sliding his chair closer to mine. “Talk.”

  She glanced at me. “In private.”

  Shaking his head, he answered, “Anything you need to say to me, you can say in front of Lia.”

  That’s when she nodded to Missy and I sat up, feeling that something horrible was about to happen. Glancing at Jules, I saw the panic in her eyes, too. As my old friend approached, she held out a bag for Ally to take.

  “This is for you,” she said almost sympathetically. “I tried to warn you. You wouldn’t listen.”

  He took the bag, but I could tell he was annoyed. He was wound so tight from his fight with his sister to everything else he had on his
plate that I was afraid one small thing would set him off. Hopefully, Ally would leave him soon so we could try to enjoy our last night with Mike and Jules.

  Ignoring Neil and Ally, I turned to my friends. “So I’m glad your recruiter is letting you march with us.”

  Mike smiled. “Me too. Technically, we’re all done so we’re graduates already. The marching is just a formality. But I want pictures.”

  He started to say something else but was cut off my Neil’s vicious curse. “What the fuck are these?” He was holding pictures out to Ally.

  “Proof.” She crossed her arms smugly. Neil looked down at the prints in his hands, almost as if he didn’t believe them. “They’re real. You can ask your slut if you don’t believe me.”

  It hit me then that whatever was in the pictures had something to do with me. I leaned over cautiously, gasping. They didn’t have something to do with me; they were me. Me and Craig. In various compromising positions. None of them PG. “Where did you get those?” I asked, horrified.

  “See?” Ally smirked, sliding her head back and forth in a way that reminded me of a snake about to strike. “They’re real. This is what your girlfriend does while you’re gone!”

  I tried to snatch them out of his hands, but he moved them slightly. “They’re old!” I cried. Then it hit me. They were proof I had used to win the Game. “Oh, my God!” I turned to Missy. “Those were supposed to be destroyed!”

  Neil crumpled the pictures in his hands when they balled into fists. “What the fuck is wrong with you? This is a new low, even for you.”

  Ally laughed. “If they’re so old, ask your girlfriend where she got that pretty little necklace she wears.”

  Neil snapped his head toward me, eyes narrowed. I shook my head, silently begging him not to ask.

  Ally continued, “The best thing about Faerie Dust jewelry is that it’s one of a kind. I saw a certain teacher buying that necklace on Christmas Eve. Weird how Lia has it now, isn’t it?”

  I couldn’t do anything. I knew he saw the truth all over my face. He’d never believe my explanation. He stood, frantically looking around the hall. Then finding what he was looking for, took off like a lion stalking its prey. Craig didn’t see the punch coming.

  Within seconds, there was an all-out brawl. I ran for them, but Mike stood in the way. “He’s got it coming, Lee.”

  “It isn’t what he thinks!” The tears came before I could stop them, both from frustration and embarrassment. Mike reached out, pulling me into him and rubbing his hand up and down my back.

  “Well, if it isn’t Mike stepping in to save poor little Lia again.”

  “Go to hell, Ally,” he growled threateningly. “Haven’t you done enough?”

  But I turned in his arms, facing the evil that was always out to destroy my happiness. “What in the hell is your problem?”

  She stepped closer, hands on her hips. “You are. You think you’re better than everyone else. But you were born trash and you’ll die trash. Just like your mom.”

  I slapped her. I’d never actually slapped anyone. The sting was a bitch.

  She backhanded me back and pulled my hair. Suddenly, there was kicking and scratching and biting and yes, even punching until Mike pulled me off. Jules rushed up to me, moving the hair out of my face to see how badly I was hurt.

  “Bet she wouldn’t be helping you if she knew what you were doing with her boyfriend last summer,” Missy yelled out, making me notice how quiet the entire building had become. Even the music had stopped.

  Julie stood straight and turned. “Good Christ, you’re just as bad as Ally. You proud of yourself, Miss? Lia and I stopped playing your games a long time ago so you can stop trying to one up us. We don’t care anymore.”

  “Is that really what you think?” Missy laughed. “Oh, honey, Lia’s been the ultimate player a lot longer than you or me. She may not have had points on him, but Mike was spending just as much time in her bed as he was yours.”

  “Think what you want,” I started to yell, attempting to go at her. Mike tightened his arms, keeping me with him.

  “You may be able to fool Nate or poor Jules, but we know the truth. How many nights did Mike stay at your house last summer, Lia? In fact, didn’t Mike threaten Mr. Knightly at one point? I heard they almost came to blows over you.” Ally laughed; a hollow, cold sound. “I don’t understand his obsession with you, but he’s had it since the third grade. Look, even now he’s comforting you and not his girlfriend. Did you really think you could fuck two men while your boyfriend was gone and he wouldn’t find out?” She smiled triumphantly. “He knows now, doesn’t he? We all do.”

  I looked around for the first time, realizing that everyone in my senior class and every teacher in my school had just witnessed our exchange. The looks of disgust and pity were too much. It didn’t matter what I said, they’d never believe it. I stared at Neil, but he wouldn’t look at me. His lip was split, his nose bleeding, and come morning, he’d be covered in bruises.

  Jules, though, was shaking her head. “You wouldn’t do that. Tell them you wouldn’t do any of that.”

  I realized that Mike was still holding me. When I peeled his fingers away, he only hesitated as if unsure of what I was going to do. When I turned to him, there was no anger in his eyes, only confusion. I knew from that point forward, he’d be my only friend here. Loyal to the end. But he was leaving.

  I knew what I had to do. It’s what I’d always wanted. One little white lie and every connection I had to this place would be severed. There would be no coming back. But that lie would break the three people I cared about most. I wasn’t strong enough to hurt them that way.

  I turned to Neil again; this time, he was watching me. His eyes weren’t cold and full of hate. All I saw was a boy that would forgive the girl he loved for anything. Almost anything.

  When he took a step toward me, I made up my mind. There was one thing he’d never gotten past with April. He’d never forgive me for it, either. Which meant he could let me go and live his life. He could have his farm and his family. And be happy.

  I stepped away from Mike, facing my best friend. “I’m sorry. I can’t. It’s true.”

  I turned and ran, hearing Neil’s roar of outrage and Mike calling my name.

  I drove home in record time. I grabbed the suitcases and boxes I had already packed, filling my car. One last, quick look at my room had me grabbing a few photos and some of the pictures Neil had painted me, and I was ready to leave.

  I weaved through my mom’s boxes and into the kitchen. My whole life was being packed away; mom was moving to her boyfriend’s house. I was happy she wouldn’t be here much longer; I didn’t want her to deal with the fallout of being the mom of the whore who broke the town’s golden boy.

  Leaving a quick note for my mom, I promised a call and a full explanation soon. Glancing at the counter, I noticed the pile of acceptance letters I’d gotten over the last few months. Staring at the one on top, inspiration hit.

  It had – just like all my college letters – been addressed to my legal name, Cecelia Foster. After my dad left, I started using Merrill so everyone would know I was proud of my mom and who she was. That and it made things much less confusing for the other adults in my life. Eventually, most people forgot that I’d ever had a different last name.

  I knew no one else in my class was going to Franklin Pierce; most of them were going to state schools or much farther away. The school was far enough away for me to start over, but close enough for my mom to visit. If I could get a late admission… The wheels started to turn.

  Knowing it was the last tie to him, I put my cell phone on top of my mom’s note. I hated the idea of her not being able to reach me, but I needed to make sure no one else could, either. I had to leave them all behind.

  I couldn’t stop the tears as I hurried out of my home for the last time. I may have broken hearts and ruined plans, but I had broken me right along with the rest of them. The only solace I had was that it was bette
r this way. For everyone.

  Part Two: Now

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  ~ Nathaniel ~

  Normally, we spent the day of a show locked away, each doing our own thing to get mentally prepared to go bare our soles in front of thousands of strangers. Today, though, we’d spent the day exploring my old stomping grounds, relaxing and drinking, excited about tonight’s concert. We never got to play to small audiences anymore; the demand for us was too big.

  We’d outgrown the smoke-filled bars and county fairs years ago. This venue, which capped out at eight thousand fans, wasn’t even close to the honky-tonks we’d grown up in, but it was much better than the stadium shows we were used to. There was something strangely intimate about performing in a place where your audience didn’t need a Jumbotron to see you.

  The size of the venue wasn’t the only reason I was practically bouncing down the halls backstage. Tonight was a different kind of show, the first of its kind. My gift to the local people that had supported me through the years. My recording label hated the idea, but I single-handedly brought in enough to pay most of their salaries so they let me have my way. Most of the time.

  The only way in was to win. No tickets were being sold because it was a completely free show. Local radio stations had been all too willing to hand out tickets, but there was no promotion allowed. We didn’t want a media circus, but we wanted real fans to come out and have a fun night with us. How the winners were chosen was up to each individual station.

  The meet and greet had been my managers idea. Twenty-five of the ticket winners and their guests were automatically upgraded, completely at random. Not only did they get to meet me, they got round trip transportation to the show and the total VIP treatment once they were here.

  I hesitated just outside the door where there were a hundred people anxiously awaiting my arrival. I could hear the murmurs of excitement, but I had to wait for my cue. Another of my manager’s ingenious ideas – we used the theory of misdirection for my entrance.

  As the pass-holders arrived, they were lined up in the designated room. Right before I made my way in, we’d send my opening act, whoever it was at the time, in the entrance at the front of the room near the tables. Then, I’d sneak in the back, meeting the people at the end of the line first.