‘Why didn’t you do it earlier? Why now, Beth?’
‘This was my last chance! He’s been avoiding me and blocking my texts and everything.’ The stream turns to hiccups. She wipes her face with Joe’s top. ‘Oh, shit, it’s all a mess, isn’t it?’
It’s then I notice the time. The others will be wondering where we’ve got to. They’ll be finishing the champagne off. Her mum will be adjusting her hat. Oh, bugger, her mum.
Guests will be arriving!
‘Fuck! Come on, Beth!’
I run down the corridor, glad I’ve got sensible shoes on, and am just about to put a hand out to open the door when it flies open and I nearly fall on top of Maddie and Sally, who are on their way out.
‘We were just coming to find you. Where’ve you been? Rach needs to have her veil put on.’
‘There might not be a wedding.’ I slow down to draw my breath. All this running around is bad for me.
‘What?’
‘What’s happening?’ Maddie sticks her head further out of the doorway as we hear a loud male yelp.
‘I think Michael might have caught up with Rach!’ I cringe, but at the same time hope she’s kicked him where it really hurts. ‘Come on, come on.’
‘What? Michael’s here? Oh, no, he didn’t see her in her dress, that is such bad luck!’ Maddie shakes her head as I grab her hand and drag her out of the room.
‘Worse!’
‘What the f—’ Sally is trotting behind us ‘Where are we going, shouldn’t we be getting ready?’
‘Come on, quicker!’ I try to hurry them along, scared of what we might find when we catch up with Michael and Rachel. ‘We’ve got to catch them up. Michael was with Lexie, bonking her brains out!’ I might have just informed the whole hotel, but there is not time for niceties, or long explanations. I need to cut to the chase.
‘What?’ Sally has grabbed my arm so hard I’m spun round to face her. ‘Bonking who?’
‘This girl called Lexie.’ I look at them glumly. They’re going to find out sooner or later, how can they not. ‘In the bridal suite.’
‘Oh my God.’ Sally puts her hand over her mouth.
Maddie clutches my arm. ‘Oh my God, no. Not really? He was with a woman? Are you sure they weren’t just chatting?’
‘No-clothes chatting? Horizontal? Jiggling bits? And she knows about Beth, too …’ I glance back at the tearful Beth.
Maddie’s eyes well up with tears. ‘Oh, no. Why now?’
‘What now? Tell me for heaven’s sake!’ Sally has a grip of both of us, and we are clearly not going anywhere until she’s satisfied. ‘What has she done? What have you done Beth?’
‘Oh, no, Beth?’ Maddie’s voice is small, upset, and I grind to a halt.
‘Yes.’ Beth hiccups. ‘Sorry, so sorry, it’s all my f—’
‘It’s not your fault.’ I shout, I think it’s the sense of urgency making me do that. ‘Well, not all your fault. Oh, for heaven’s sake, we need to catch them!’
‘What?’ Screams Sally.
Beth has gone very pale, even worse than before, she looks like she’s about to be sick. ‘Michael is Joe’s dad.’ She sniffs and puts her hands over her eyes.
‘Oh my God, you are kidding me?’ Sally looks from Beth back to me wildly. ‘Fuck me. Michael’s? You fucked Michael?’
‘Only once.’ Confirms Maddie.
Sally laughs, slightly hysterical. But it gives me a chance to pull free and set off in pursuit of Rachel again.
‘Oh, hell, are you okay, Beth?’ Maddie hugs Beth. ‘And Rach? How’s Rach? Oh, hell, oh, hell.’
‘Why did Jane think he was Jack’s?’ Puffs Beth, who is carrying the extra burden of a baby, but has jeans and sneakers on so is one up on us in the mobility stakes.
‘Jack’s?’ Sally is horrified. ‘My Jack’s? Why on earth would you think that?’ She pokes me in the back. ‘You’re not telling me she’s shagged Jack as well!’
‘I didn’t think, well, I did, oh, forget it.’
‘I can’t forget that!’
‘Jack has never been with Beth, I’m sure he’d never do that. Would he?’ Maddie is staring at me as well now, her voice quavering.
‘Can you all bloody shut up and run!’ I flap my hand, but Sal is not to be flapped away.
‘You thought Jack was Joe’s dad and you never told me, you let me make a complete tit of myself talking about him and Maddie!’
‘No, I didn’t. You didn’t, I—’
‘Why were you talking about me and Jack?’ Maddie is dabbing at her eyes again. ‘I’ve never done anything with him, honest Sal, we’d never, I mean you’re married, he’s yours, you …’ She is wringing her hands together in agitation, huge tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
‘For fuck’s sake, shut up!’ They shut up. ‘We’ll do all this later! Right now, it’s Rach and Michael that are important. Maddie, I just wish you’d told me that Michael was the father!’ I shouldn’t have said this, it all kicks off again.
‘I did! You said you already knew!’ Maddie pulls a face.
Sally stares at both of us in turn. ‘Okay, let’s calm down. How did you know Mads?’
‘Beth told me when she was drunk, at the hen party.’ Maddie looks at Beth, who nods.
‘And I told you, Jane!’ Maddie prods me, to get my attention back on her.
‘You knew?’ It’s my turn for the inquisition from Sally.
‘Well, no, well, I got confused.’ I sigh.
Maddie is frowning at me. ‘Confused? I told you after the cocktails, in our room! I told you Michael and Beth had, well, you know, and you said we’d work out how to tell Rach.’
I realise now why I got this all so wrong. When Maddie told me that Michael had slept with somebody else, I did my usual trick of jumping in before she had chance to finish her sentence. I didn’t let her explain.
‘You never exactly said Beth’s name.’
‘I said Beth had told me, confided in me.’ I can tell Maddie is getting frustrated with me.
‘I got my wires crossed, I just thought you meant she knew about Michael and Lexie!’
‘Who the hell is this Lexie?’ Sally and Maddie ask the question together.
‘Long story. Later. Please? Come on, we’ve got to find them!’ Even though we’ve been walking and talking, we’ve not exactly been in a hurry. It’s all been a bit stop and start.
We’ve lost ground. We all hurtle down the stairs, and there’s no sign of Rachel, Michael, or Lexie.
‘There, there!’ Sally points. It’s not hard to spot Rach in her white dress if you’re looking in the right direction.
Michael obviously caught up with her, and the roles have been reversed. She’s after him now.
They’re heading for the marquee, and we scurry after them. Slowing down as we get closer. Not wanting to intrude, but really needing to be there for her if she needs us.
Michael drops down to his knees, clutching at her arm, then when she shakes him off, clutching his own hands together. Practically begging. Now he’s got his hands out in a ‘not my fault’ manner. I’m sure his mum would clip him round the ear if she was here, I mean the grass stains are never going to come out of those trousers.
Rach is crying, throwing her hands up.
I take a step, I need to help. But Maddie puts a staying hand on my arm.
‘They’ve got to sort this out themselves, Jane.’
He’s on his feet, putting a conciliatory hand on her shoulder. Explaining earnestly.
All I can hear is the pounding in my ears, and us all panting as I strain to hear what they’re saying. Is this it? Is this where she forgives him?
Rachel shrugs him off and takes a step back, until her back is against the table. She’s yelling now, and he’s yelling back. It’s hard to hear what they’re saying but the words ‘bastard’, ‘two-timing piece of shit’, ‘fucking princess’ and ‘who do you think you are?’ do carry surprisingly well.
She prods a finger in hi
s chest.
His hands are on his hips.
We glance at each other. Uh oh. Defensive stance.
This is looking dodgy.
It is then that it happens.
The cake.
We’d all been concentrating so hard on her poking finger (and so had Michael) that nobody noticed her other hand. The one that is clutching the top layer of her beautiful wedding cake.
‘This is the bit you save for the christening!’ She yells so loud, we all hear every word. For a moment, the whole world seems to freeze, and then, in slo-mo, she does it. Launches it straight at his face. ‘So you might as well have it now!’ She grinds it in, then she spins round and is grabbing the next layer while he’s still scraping chocolate out of his eyes. But he sees. ‘No! No, Rach, be reasonable!’
‘I’ll give you reasonable! You’re never going to get a first anniversary, so you might as well eat it now!’
I’ve never seen a man move so fast, he’s pelting across the grass, and shouts ‘just think about it’ over his shoulder.
‘I am frigging thinking, you two-timing, money-grabbing imbecile!’ Rachel kicks her shoes off and is running like she used to do in the 100-metre sprint. She was fast then and she’s pretty impressive now.
He doesn’t get far, he’s so busy checking if she’s making up ground that he doesn’t notice the flowerbed.
It’s not a spectacular fall, more a messy tumble. And he does notice when she plants one foot on his chest, leans over and very deliberately mashes the second cake into his face.
I reckon she spots Lexie out of the corner of her eye a split second before the rest of us do. ‘Stop right there, you cow!’ Michael makes a grab for her ankle, and for a moment she’s on her knees, then she has scrambled free, kicking him in the chops, and is after Lexie.
It’s a pretty close call. The pair of them both look quite fit, but I reckon Rachel’s fury is more empowering than Lexie’s fear. She’s gone from cocky to desperate in a moment.
Rach is gaining on her as they get to the ornamental lake, but Lexie doesn’t stop. She hurdles the wall, gallops on into the shallows, gathering water lily’s as she goes then flounders out the other side.
‘Do you think somebody should go and tell Rach’s mum?’ Sally has her head on one side.
‘I think she already knows, dear.’
We spin round, and Rachel’s mum is there. She picks a piece of cake up, pops it in her mouth and chews thoughtfully. ‘Rather nice.’
‘Lovely.’ Remarks my own mother, licking her fingers. ‘Sponge is so much better than fruit cake, and so chocolatey! So on-trend! Have you tasted it girls?’ We all shake our heads, wordless. ‘You don’t think somebody should be videoing this, do you? You could have a YouTube hit. We could go viral!’
I am gobsmacked, I don’t know what to say. I’m really tempted to just dig into the amazing cake, but I resist.
‘We never were that keen on him,’ says Rachel’s mum, ‘but you can’t tell your children what to do, can you?’
‘Oh, no!’ Says mine.
‘Oh, look, she’s coming back. I think I’ll make myself scarce, she might want to talk to you first. I’ll be having my make-up retouched if anybody needs me.’ She pats my hand and straightens the flowers.
Mum links arms with her. ‘If you need a hand, I know exactly how to cancel a wedding you know. I mean, Jane’s didn’t quite get to this stage, but …’ They wander off, their voices fading.
I cringe. I’m over my complete cock-up of a non-wedding, but I so didn’t want this to happen to my best friend. I feel queasy. How can I ever forgive myself for the part I’ve played in this? This was supposed to be the best day of her life.
Chapter 35
‘I’m going through with it.’ Rachel flicks a piece of cake out of her fringe, then picks her shoes up from where she’d abandoned them.
‘Oh my God Rach! You can’t be serious!’
‘But Rach!’ Sally takes her hand. ‘Don’t do something you’re going to regret, please don’t, it makes life so complicated. Believe me.’
We’re all talking at once.
Maddie takes her other hand. ‘You’ve got to go with your heart, Rach. Follow your heart, not your head. You can’t still love him …’ she pauses, looking scared, ‘do you?’
‘Of course, she doesn’t!’ Says Sal, ever competitive and tugs on her other hand.
We all hold our breath as we wait for the answer.
‘Oh, girls, you’re the best.’ She hugs both of them, and Maddie pulls me in as well. We’re all a bit shocked, now that the action is over, and it wouldn’t take much to have us all in tears. Maddie looks the worst, I know she’s blaming herself so I give her an extra hug.
Rachel sniffs. ‘It’s okay, honest.’ Her voice is shaky, and so is her smile, but there’s more than a hint of determination in it. ‘I need to sit down though, my legs have gone all funny.’ Maddie leads her into the marquee, and over to the raised platform which I guess was where the DJ was supposed to be entertaining us later.
She sinks down, her white dress pooling round her, and we all plop down.
I think Rach catches the look on Maddie’s face, as she runs her finger along the bunting that is wrapped round each pole.
‘It’s awesome, isn’t it?’ Her voice is soft, the words catch, and it brings a lump to my throat.
Maddie jumps, as though she’s been caught stealing sweets, and pulls her hand away. ‘Totally.’ She smiles at her sadly.
We all gaze round at the amazing marquee.
‘Beautiful.’ I nod.
‘Too good to waste.’ Says Rachel.
‘Rach, please think about it. This is the rest of your life. You can’t get married just because you’ve arranged the most perfect wedding ever.’ There is also the question of the groom, who she’s just smeared in cake and chased off the estate. Somebody is going to have to go and get him, and it’s not going to be me. I’m all out of bridge-building attempts and forgiveness for Michael.
‘Jane.’
‘No, hang on, I’ve got to say this. You want me to be honest with you, Rach?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Well, I don’t get it, after everything he’s done, how can you still marry him? You know he’s a lying twat. He’s a dad, he’s slept with your friend, and he’s slept with Lexie again after he told you it was a one off! It’s your big day,’ I hate to use Michael’s phrase, but I have to, ‘you only do it once, or at least you’re only supposed to. Oh, Rach.’ I hug her harder. ‘He’s really not worth it. You don’t have to do this. Are you positive this is what you want? I can send them all away?’ I’m shitting myself at the thought of having to go round and explain to everybody. But I will if she needs me to. ‘I could talk to your mum.’
‘Aww, Jane, you’d do that for me?’ She clears her throat, then grins. ‘You should see the panic on your face! Look, who said anything about getting married?’
‘You did!’
‘No, I didn’t, I said I wanted to go ahead with it. I said I couldn’t waste it.’
Sal gives her the stare, I’m not surprised Jack hasn’t found it easy to leave her. ‘You aren’t making any sense.’
‘She’s deranged with shock,’ says Maddie, pulling her close.
‘No, I’m bloody not! Are you lot not listening?’
We are all hanging on her every word, and it’s not working for any of us from the expression we’ve all got on our faces.
‘We’re doing it without him!’
‘We’re what?’
‘We’re having a wedding without the groom! I’m not going to let him win, I’m not going to let him ruin everything.’
‘That’s a bit, well, alternative.’ Sally is musing it over. ‘But good alternative.’
‘It’s paid for, we’re all dressed up. We’ve got to do it! Let’s get this show on the road Jane. Girls? Help me? Please?’ Her voice is low and quiet, it’s a bit scary. But she sounds determined, and to be honest I don’t think an
y of us know what to say.
‘Everything okay? I can’t find Mi—’ A male voice stops mid word, and we all spin round.
It’s Jack, all debonair and gorgeous in his suit. He looks so dashing, and different, just like a man about to go to a wedding. ‘Michael.’ He finishes as he takes in the remains of the smashed wedding cake, and the shoe-less bride. ‘What the hell’s happened? Has somebody broken in? I’ll call the police.’
He’s reaching into his pocket for his mobile as he speaks.
‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous.’ Sally scowls at him.
‘Sorry?’ Jack’s voice is low, and he stares back. An impasse. And suddenly even I can see what she meant. This pair are such a total mismatch, how she ever thought she could shoehorn him into the love-shaped hole in her heart I don’t know. He’s a triangle when she’s looking for a square. This has got nothing to do with Maddie, it’s about her, her and Jack. A truth she’s tried to ignore, then found out she couldn’t any longer.
Trust Sally to bash on, though, unwilling to admit she’d got it wrong, that she couldn’t make it work.
I’m not quite sure if Sally needs a doormat, or somebody to spar with, but either way Jack isn’t the man for the job.
‘Michael’s gone.’ Rachel smiles sadly at Jack, but he’s still got his gaze locked with Sally’s. ‘But if he turns up at the chapel will you get rid of him, please? I don’t want to see him ever again.’ There’s the slightest wobble in her voice, but she’s fighting it, and something tells me that although this has all been a massive shock, some part of her isn’t surprised.
‘Gone?’ Jack frowns.
‘Gone!’ Shouts Sally. ‘Your friend happens to be a two-timing—’
‘My friend?’ Jack frowns. ‘Hang on, this isn’t my fault, I didn’t know anything about this.’ He looks at Rachel, a mix of confusion and disbelief on his face.
‘I know you didn’t.’ Rachel says softly, ‘I’m not blaming you Jack.’
‘You must have had some idea.’ Sally’s voice is scornful, and the flash of anger that plays across Jack’s face is such a surprise I can’t think of a thing to say.
‘Why? Why would I have had any idea? Did you?’
‘You must have suspected he was sleeping with that girl, and you knew he’d slept with Beth!’ Yells Sally. ‘You know, the Beth you were all cosy with the other night?’
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