Seeking Hope: Book 2 in the Seeking Saga

by Becky Poirier

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The rest of my day was a lot more pleasant than it started out to be. April had calmed down slightly. She was no longer angry with Billy or Jack. She had a new target in Michelle. If she’d known how she treated me behind closed doors, it would have been worse. As it was, she only fumed a little about being dismissed. I reminded her that things were going to be different here. We weren’t always going to be side by side, nor did we need to be anymore. She looked a little hurt when I said that. It was like she didn’t think I wanted her around, or perhaps she thought I was ungrateful, but she didn’t say anything.

  I spent the day getting used to my new surroundings. My first stop was the bath house. I’d only had the luxury, of self implemented sponge baths in the clinic. It felt nice to have running water caressing my skin, even if it was ice cold. They didn’t waste energy on heating the water, except for wintertime and then people were only able to shower every other day. Even that would be better than what I was used to. We were lucky to bathe once a week before. It was weird feeling so clean. My hair was knot free. I had access to deodorant, which I always considered a luxury to carry around. Most of the time my pack was filled with food, if we were lucky, or water bottles. The men showered in the evenings and the women in the mornings. I was allowed to shower later, due to my circumstances.

  The bath house was nice, except for the open concept floor plan. There were three tree-like towers in the middle of the tiled room. Each tree had eight shower heads branching off it. There was no privacy. At the other end of the room were toiletries, soap, shampoo, conditioner, de-tangler, combs, deodorant, lotions. Everything I had been missing, was now at my fingertips. I couldn’t stop smelling my hair, which only made my sister laugh at me. It was nice to hear her laugh again. I hadn’t heard her laugh like that, since before Andy died.

  For the first time in months, I had the opportunity to look in a mirror. It was probably a good thing I didn’t have access to one on the road. I was sure I looked terrible when we first met Jack and Billy. But now the colour was coming back to my cheeks, though I was still fair. My damp strawberry blonde hair hung past my shoulders with a slight wave to it. I ran my hands through my hair. It felt strange to leave it down, but I liked it that way.

  My face still looked quite hollow from malnutrition, but that was already improving. I’d been given larger portions than most of the other people my size, in order to help get me back to where I needed to be. But what struck me most about my appearance, was the smile on my face, that reached my eyes. I hadn’t smiled like that, since before we lost contact with the rest of our family. I hadn’t realized how much I missed seeing my own smile.

  Pulling myself away from the mirror, I took time to look through the supplies and see what else I could use. It was while I was taking advantage of the supplies, that I found that old familiar product on the shelf. It was the scent that Jack had on him, that felt like home. On the shelf was a pile of Old Spice. Just like my dad used to use. I uncapped one and took in the smell. A tear fell down my cheek. My mind flashed back to my dad standing in the beautiful white light. April wiped my tear, and I was brought back to reality. I needed to tell her. “Don’t worry,” she said pulling my head full of damp hair against her chest. “We’ll see him again. We’ll see them all again.”

  I pulled away from her and forced a smile on my face. “I know,” was all I said. I wasn’t ready to have this conversation with her. I was still trying to wrap my head around my whole after-life experience. It was real, I knew it was, but convincing her of that was going to take some work. I still needed to find the right words.

  “Come on,” she said smiling as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder, “let’s go home.”

  The smile on my face only grew. Home, a place to call our own. A place to be safe. Whatever we would be living in, I would be grateful for. And for the first time since coming here, April was too. The cabin we had, was thankfully centrally located in the village and there were paths from it to the bath house, the washrooms, and the dining hall. It made it easier to walk, but only slightly. By the time we made it to the cabin, my leg was throbbing so bad, I doubted if I could stand up much longer.

  It was cute, our little cabin. Small, but it suited our needs. Outside there was a pleasant little porch, with a nicely crafted wooden bench. Inside there was just enough room for a small wooden table with two chairs, a queen size bed, and a small, tattered sofa. A large fireplace in the middle took up a lot of the useable space, but I wasn’t complaining because a fire had already been lit and it felt nice to warm up.

  I collapsed on the couch, letting my cane drop to the floor. It was all I could do, to keep from rubbing my sore leg. That would have only made things ten times worse. As it was, the stiches were itching like crazy. Billy had given me something to put on it, but I was avoiding changing the bandage myself. Every time it was ripped off, the wound cleaned, it killed. My pain shot up exponentially. I was supposed to let them know when it hurt, but I didn’t see the point in it. All they could give me was Tylenol and by the time that worked its way through my system, the pain had already subsided. No, I was just going to have to suck it up until it healed fully.

  Billy had ordered that I come see him once a day to work on some physical therapy techniques. I planned on complying when April was busy working in the community. I figured if she weren’t working, she’d insist on tagging along. It was probably best if I kept those two apart.

  “Are you hungry?” April asked, not willing to relax like I was. “I can go get you something to eat. You missed breakfast, but I’m sure I could scrounge up something from the kitchen for you.”

  “They fed me in the clinic,” I replied without opening my eyes. I didn’t want to admit it, but that simple walk had worn me right out. Beyond the physical pain, I was exhausted beyond belief. Maybe the commander was right to question my strength. I felt weak, maybe I looked it as well. My only hope was that through physical therapy, I could regain what I’d lost.

  “Of course, they did,” April replied as she sat down beside me. I looked over at her. Her eyes were closed now, her chest gently rising and falling. For the first time, I noticed bags under her eyes. They’d probably been there for a while, but with all the yelling she’d been doing and the pain I was in, I hadn’t noticed. With her eyes still closed she reached up and pulled her hair out of her bun. She always kept it up like me, but even though she hated this place and even though she didn’t fully trust the people, she at least felt safe enough to let her hair down. And that was a big deal for her.

  “You should get some sleep April. You look like you could use it.”

  “Can’t, I’m on lunch duty. I have to leave in thirty minutes to start prepping the meal.”

  “Well then, I’ll come with you.”

  “You’ll do no such thing,” she said sitting up straighter, allowing her eyes to open. “You need your rest and I saw what that walk did to you. You’re not as good at hiding these things from me as you’d like to think you are,” she said with a slight smirk. “Your leg needs rest. As it is, Billy said you’re not to start work detail until next week. So, rest.”

  “Well, the commander and his daughter made it sound like I was supposed to start earning my keep right away.”

  “All talk. Billy’s your doctor and his orders trump the commanders in this case. At least he was smart enough to put his foot down on this issue. So no, you’re not coming with me. You’re resting. You should make your way over to that bed and take a nap right now.”

  “I don’t need one,” I lied as I tried desperately to keep my eyes open.

  My sister laughed and not just a little chuckle, but a real laugh. I’d forgotten what that sounded like. It was enough to make me smile, though my pain was still excruciating.

  “Either you get in that bed right now Summer or I’m going to throw you over my shoulder and toss you in it myself.”

  “Okay, okay. Man, you can be bossy. Has anyone ever told you tha
t before?” In response, she only rolled her eyes as she pointed demandingly towards the bed. With a great deal of effort, I managed to pull myself up off the couch. April handed me my cane, so that I could hobble my way over to the bed. Every step felt worse than the last. I really hoped a nap would help.

  April pulled the covers aside for me and I slipped under them. She tucked the cozy warm comforter up under my chin, just like she did when I was a kid. “I’m not a child anymore. I can tuck myself in.”

  “Summer, you’ll always be my little sister, no matter how old you grow. And I’m never going to stop loving you or protecting you. You might as well get used to it. Now sleep. I’ll be back later with some lunch for you.” With that, she gave me a small peck on the forehead, which I teasingly wiped off the minute she left my bedside. I heard the door close softly and her footsteps outside fading down the path as I struggled to roll over into a comfortable position on the bed.

  The bed was like clouds to my back. Still, I struggled to find a good position for my leg. I always hated sleeping on my back, but I was kind of limited to my options. Even when I tried rolling over on my good leg, I found my stitches being tugged by the position my bad leg ended up in. Back it was.

  For a while, I just stared up at the ceiling, looking at the different knots in the wood. It was kind of the same as looking at clouds for me. I could see different shapes. There was a woman with long flowing hair, a dog chasing its tail, a plane. Slowly my eyes began to feel heavy. The exhaustion of the morning took over, shutting my brain down and finally allowing me to sleep.

  When dreamland took over, I found myself back on my family’s vast property. It was fall, just like it was now. The trees that lined our massive driveway, were all covered in red and golden leaves. The leaves had just started to fall to the ground. I was raking them up, even though we had a leaf blower and mulcher for that job. My older brothers were always responsible for cleaning up the mess, this time of year brought. But I’d rushed out to the leaves before they could destroy them. Every year they made it there first and there was never anything left for me to jump into.

  This year I wasn’t going to let them get to them first. This year I was going to rake up a giant pile of leaves and jump in it repeatedly. I was maybe six and not really that great with the manual labour. Being the youngest, my parents had always gone easy on me when it came to the chores. I was only responsible for keeping my room clean and setting the table for dinner. My siblings always complained, but my parents didn’t really listen to their whining. Yes, I was spoiled. But then, I wasn’t supposed to exist. My mother had been told that even if she managed to conceive again, which was unlikely, that she wouldn’t be able to carry to term. I’d proven the doctors wrong.

  I spent the next hour gathering as many leaves as I could. It took a lot out of me. I had to stop several times to catch my breath and once to take a couple puffs from my inhaler. But when I was finally finished, I had a pile of leaves that was half my height and perfect for jumping in. I jumped up as high as I could go and then crashed down backwards into the pile. The leaves were still soft and barely made a sound in reaction to my intrusion. I smiled up at the sky as I made an angel in the leaves.

  “Okay, fun’s over,” a familiar voice called to me. I looked up to see my brother Noah with his shaggy brown hair, standing over me. He was eight years older than me. Even though he was only fourteen, he was tall for his age, unlike me. He towered over me like a giant. Despite the age gap, we got along well. He was the sibling I was closest too. He’d always looked out for me.

  “I’ve just gotten started,” I replied with a grin. “I raked em’ so they’re mine. You go get your own,” I said firmly.

  He laughed. “Nice try kid, but Dad’s in one of his moods. I have to get rid of these leaves or ‘there’ll be hell to pay’.”

  I frowned. Our dad had been angry a lot lately. I didn’t really understand over what. All I knew was that there’d been a lot of yelling in our house lately and that it involved April and her boyfriend. My parents so rarely yelled, that all this change had been quite scary for me. Every time the yelling started, I’d run for my room and hide under my covers until it stopped.

  Noah came to sit down beside me. “Hey, don’t worry about it, kid. He’ll calm down soon enough, but in the meantime, I better get my chores done.”

  “What if instead of getting your chores done right this minute, we built this pile back up and you jump in it with me. You know you want to,” I said with a smile. “And after, I’ll help you with gathering the rest of the leaves.” I was exhausted from all the work I’d done already, but if this was the price I had to pay for some playtime with my favourite sibling, then it was worth it.

  Noah hesitated for only a moment, before putting his leaf blower on the ground. “Five minutes and then you owe me.” He reached out a hand for me. With a smile, I took it and let him help me out of the pile of leaves.

  When I woke up, I couldn’t help but smile. My memories of Noah were all like that. My siblings had all been so much older than me, but Noah never hesitated to do something childish just to make me smile. I missed him so much. April and I hadn’t had much of a relationship until the crisis. Now we were every bit as close as Noah and I had ever been. But I still missed that bond I’d shared with him. He was the one I ran to when my feelings had been hurt, or I was afraid of getting in trouble.

  I thought back to the vision I’d had of my father and wondered if Noah was still alive. He said he couldn’t tell me everything, but that things were going to look up for me. He’d been so vague. But there was something about the look in his eyes, that told me that some of my family had to have survived. I clutched at the compass pendant. Maybe the real reason I hesitated to tell April about my experience, was because I didn’t want to give her hope. If she had definite knowledge that our family was still alive, then I knew she’d want to push me out of this village as soon as my leg was better. The mere thought of leaving and facing the monsters again, sent shivers throughout my body.

  A part of me felt guilty for keeping this from her. But the part of me that was terrified of facing the outside world again, was so much stronger. We’d been through enough. We deserved a break.

  I rolled over delicately onto my side pulling the covers up closely, like that would make the shivering stop. When I came to rest on my side, I noticed that a small tray with a steal cover was lying on the oak night table. With a great deal of effort, I managed to pull myself up to sitting. Underneath the steal lid, was a piece of paper. It had my sister’s handwriting on it.

  You were sleeping. Didn’t want to wake you. Hope it’s still warm when you wake up. Talk to you later. P.S please rest.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle at that last part. Now that I was awake, I really wanted to get up and explore again. Not that I could go far. My leg was still really hurting, but I could at least manage to go to the porch and take in the sites.

  Quickly, I wolfed down the lukewarm venison stew and roll, my sister had left me. It tasted like fine dining to me. Even nearly cold. It had been so long since I’d eaten anything like this. Most of the time we ate from our canned collection, and it was almost always cold. We only lit fires when we absolutely had no other choice.

  I set my empty tray back down on the nightstand and searched around the room for my bag, until I finally found it hiding on the side of the sofa. There wasn’t much in there. We only ever carried one spare change of clothing. I was told that we’d be given all the essentials we needed here. But for now, there was only one thing I needed. I pulled my dad’s old sweatshirt out of my bag. It had been cleaned thankfully. Still, it had seen better day. It was worn thin in quite a few places, and I’d nibbled on the cuffs when I was younger. It was warm and it reminded me of my father. I slipped it on, instantly feeling the cold leave my body.

  With the support of my cane, I managed to walk the few steps outside to the bench on the porch. By the time I sat down, my leg was throbbing. It probably would
have been a good idea to prop it up, but there was nothing around here to prop it up on. I settled for stretching it out as far as I could, sat back and took in my new surroundings.

  For the most part, there weren’t too many people milling about. I assumed they were all doing whatever jobs they had. The only people, really moving throughout the village were those whose jobs required them too. I saw a couple men dressed in military fatigues carrying guns, holstered at their hips. They seemed to be watching for any potential trouble inside the village. By the bored expressions they both wore, I was pretty sure they never encountered trouble here. They simply wandered the paths around the village, repeatedly. There were some people who appeared to be involved with construction. They were driving trucks through the village, carrying freshly chopped lumbar.

  Except for those few people, it was mostly quiet, which I really enjoyed. It had been so long since I had the opportunity to listen to the birds sing or notice the sound of the wind as it rustled through the leaves. It was so relaxing, I thought I might doze off again.

  Unfortunately, my peace and serenity didn’t last. My sister showed up way sooner than I was hoping for. “What are you doing out here? You should be in bed resting. It’s freezing out here.”

  “Been there, done that,” I replied with a smirk. “It’s not that cold and I’m still resting, just not in the bed anymore. If I sleep too long, I won’t be able to sleep tonight. The last few days, all I’ve done is sleep. I’m ready to start living again.”

  “I’m just worried about you,” she sighed as she sat down beside me. She looked exhausted and her hands looked a little raw, which was common for her when she washed dishes, or hand washed our laundry. Her hands always got dry very easily. I’d seen and used some lotion back in the bathhouse. I’d make her use some, the next time we were there.