The elevator doors opened directly into the executive offices foyer. A young receptionist sat to attention when the doors opened. I walked past her and on toward the glass doors that separated the offices and the foyer.
“Can I help you, sir?” she asked politely.
I stopped in my tracks and turned to her, glaring in anger. She recoiled slightly at the hatred burning in my eyes. “Are you totally fucking serious?” I growled. “Don’t you know who I am?”
She shook her head nervously side to side. “I’m...I’m...sorry, sir. No, I don’t.”
Her hand shook slightly as she picked up a phone on the desk and pressed a button, but before she could speak into the receiver, the glass doors opened and in walked secretary of the year.
“It’s okay, Lisa, Mr. James has been expecting Levi,” Queen Bitch Mary said to the receptionist before she turned to me. As far as looks went, Mary was extremely attractive and had a completely rocking body. But I wouldn’t expect anything less from my father, although she was older than his average screw. I figured she was late 30s and really looked after herself. Long, lean, toned, and tanned. She had the perfect SoCal sexy secretary look going on. Complete with heavy black-rimmed glasses and her blonde hair pinned in a bun.
She showed me her pearly whites. “Levi, what a pleasure it is to see you again.”
“I really can’t say the same, Mary.” I tapped my thighs to a nonexistent beat, needing to keep my hands busy.
Mary pursed her lips in thought. “Lisa, Mr. James will be busy with his son for the next hour. Can you please reschedule all his prior appointments and push back his flight? We won’t be leaving for LA until later today.”
“Yes, Ms. Murphy,” Lisa replied, and started tapping away at her computer.
Mary swept her hand toward glass doors. “Levi. Shall we?”
I grunted and followed her through the doors and to the far corner office. She pushed the door open for me, waiting until I stepped inside before she followed. My father, who was sitting behind the desk looking intently at his computer, looked at me and smiled. Not a, “hello son, so pleased to see you” smile, but an, “I’ve got your balls, how do you like it?” smile.
“Levi. I thought you would have been here sooner.”
“You son of a bitch. I didn’t think you could get any lower.” My fingers curled and balled in fists by my sides. “You’re playing with real lives.”
He extended his arm to the chair opposite him. “Please sit down, Levi. I have to admit I feel very uneasy with you standing there like that.”
I didn’t move. I wasn’t about to let him call the shots on this meeting. “I’m fine standing, thank you.”
“So be it.” He looked at Mary. “Mary, can you please call security and ask them to wait outside? My son has a somewhat volatile temper, and judging by his black eye, he’s back fighting. I’m afraid if things don’t go his way, he might do something he regrets.”
“Yes, Mr. James,” she replied, and turned and left us alone.
I threw him looks of hatred. “I’m not staying long, Derek. I only came to tell you we are through. I want nothing more to do with you.”
“I was afraid you might say that. I would like to remind you of our little agreement.” He pulled out a file from his briefcase and dropped it on the desk, the contents spilling across the table. Strategically placed, on the very top, was my mugshot attached to my arrest details, and underneath that, a police file photo of the guy I had nearly killed, fueled by my hatred of the man before me and the woman who had betrayed me.
I clenched my teeth, now having to really restrain myself. “You can’t threaten me any longer. I don’t care what you do. Publish my record, have the documents leaked, whatever. I’m done being your bitch.”
“If that’s the way you want it, son.” He swept his hand across the room. “This could all be yours. I only ever wanted us to be a family.”
“You sure have gone about it the wrong way then. You can’t blackmail and buy me into your life. Relationships of any kind are built on trust, and you will never have my trust.” I walked over, placed both hands on the edge of the desk and leaned toward him. “You are going to be a very old, lonely man, with only your business empire and cheap ass secretaries to keep you company. You have no fucking idea what it takes to be a decent person, let alone a decent father. You can screw me over, but I don’t care anymore. You know why? Because I will be free of you.”
Derek looked at me, his face pale. I was done. And finally, I think he got it. I turned and opened the door to the office, then thought of one more thing. “I’ll be out of the condo tonight. I’ll leave the keys with the concierge.”
And then I walked, a massive weight removed from my shoulders.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Andi
“I don’t want to talk,” I yelled at Lili through my locked door.
Why wouldn’t she just leave me alone? I pulled my blankets back over my head to shut out her incessant door-banging, and for good measure, buried my head under my pillow. My refusal to talk to her didn’t deter her any, she just kept banging away. She shouldn’t have wasted her energy. If Lili had half a brain, she would have known that I’d have to leave my room at some point. I was almost out of vodka.
The banging finally stopped, only to be followed by threats. “Do I have to call Tony?”
Damn it. She knew my weakness.
Flinging back my blankets, I stumbled to my door, unlocked it, then went straight back to bed and cocooned myself once more. After a second, I felt the end of my bed depress.
“Andi, you can’t stay under there forever.” She patted my ankle through the blankets.
“I know.” I gave up hiding and pushed my blankets away to look at her. She recoiled slightly.
Well-known fact, I ugly cry. Without seeing my reflection, I knew my face would have been red and blotchy. And as for my eyes, I could feel they were tiny slits, puffed out from crying all morning. After Scotty read me the article, it felt as if my heart had been torn out and stomped on. Then, after I reread the article and saw her wearing the leather jacket that Levi had given me, it may as well have been ground up into ash with her three-inch Louboutin stiletto. I had even dry heaved a few times.
“You’re not going to lecture me, are you?” I asked. “Because I’m not ready for the ‘I told you so’ talk just yet.”
She bit her lip. Her eyes were sad and full of pity. “Of course not. What kind of friend would I be if I did that?”
I raised my eyebrows at her. Seemed like she had a short memory. “Lili, I’m really not up to small talk. I just want to be left alone to wallow.” And drink in private, preferably straight from the Goddamn bottle.
She sighed. “Okay, I’ll leave you alone. Just so you know, I called Costco for you and told them you came down with a case of food poisoning. They were cool, but your boss said you would need a doctor’s certificate if you want more time off. Anyway, Scotty and I are going to collect your Jeep now and bring it back here.”
“Scotty’s still here? I thought for sure he would have left already.”
Her mouth lifted in the slightest of smiles. “I didn’t want to tell you just yet, but we’re talking, and he’s giving me another chance.”
“That’s great.” My reply was monotone, unable to find it in myself to be happy for her. “You guys have history, too much to let go. Just like bitchface and asswipe.” I couldn’t bring myself to speak his name, so the best way to avoid that was to make up new ones. Asswipe was one of the less offensive ones. What I really wanted to call him was the word that started with a c and rhymed with runt. But, apparently, according to Lili, that word was for truckers, rockers, and Games of Thrones characters. Of which I was none, unfortunately. Have you seen the way those Game of Thrones characters deal with double-crossing asswipes? I looked away from Lili, unable to take her pitiful stare any longer.
“Also, Char called. She wants to know if you want her to come over and chat?”
I shook my head, and mouthed no, my gaze fixed on a speck of dust dancing in a sliver of sunlight that had managed to break through my drapes. What part of alone didn’t Lili understand?
She took a deep breath. “Something else. Le... asswipe texted you.”
I snapped my attention back to her. My initial reaction was for her to tell him to go get fucked, then changed my mind. I held out my hand. “Can I have my cell, please?”
“You’re going to call him, aren’t you?” Her tone was disapproving as she pulled my cell phone from her pocket and placed it in my hand.
Maybe. “No, of course not. I want to see what he wrote. It is my cell phone, and it was a message meant for me. Anything wrong with that?” God, I sounded like a bitch right now.
Again, she bit on her lip in thought. “Will you be okay if Scotty and I go to get your Jeep?”
“Of course I will be. What do you think I’m about to do, kill myself or something?” My words dripped with sarcasm, but were not far from the truth.
The thought had crossed my mind more than once today. If I had ever hit rock bottom, it was now. Even I knew it was completely illogical to fall in love with someone after only being together two days, romance-a-holic or not. It was just that what I felt went deeper, and foolishly, I thought it had been mutual.
She laughed uneasily. “No of course not. I just don’t want you to do something you will regret.”
“Too late for that.” I had no plans to call him. What I really wanted to do was reread his messages over and over, and cry some more until my puffy eyes had shut completely. What didn’t kill you made you stronger, right? However, the way I felt now, I was sure my soul was slowly dying. And I was pretty sure there was no coming back from that. “Weren’t you leaving?”
She stood up. “Okay, I’m going. If you need me, we’ll only be half an hour. Tops.”
“Can you shut my door when you leave? Please?” I needed the darkness and solitude.
She nodded and left me alone, closing my door on the way out. I was thankful she hadn’t tried to hug or kiss me. That was next level pity and I wasn’t ready for that.
As soon as she left, I opened my messages folder in my cell phone. My empty chest cavity ached for him as I read his message, then reread it...over and over.
Some major shit has gone down today. Please do not read or even look at the paper. I want to explain things to you in person when you get here. Levi
He wanted to tell me in person about her. Ha! Too late! I already knew all I needed to know. I pressed the off button on my cell and threw it onto my table next to my bed. As much as I wanted to, I knew I didn’t have the courage to go through with killing myself. I would have to suffer through my heartache. But, to him, I may as well be dead.
Chapter Thirty
Levi
“Yo, Phil, dude, it’s LJ. You got anyone to stay at yours while you’re at your mom’s?” I threw my belongings into my suitcase while talking on my cell. Good thing I had only been here a week, so I didn’t have a chance to accumulate too much crap.
“Hey, LJ. Not yet, bro. Why? You got someone in mind?”
“Yeah, me.” I picked up a pair of crusty boxers from my dirty clothes.
Phil laughed. “You gunna give up that sweet set-up of yours to come slum it in my one-bedroom shit hole?”
“Yeah, dude. Why wouldn’t I? You’re like a hundred yards from the beach and have decent water views.” I threw the crusty boxers into a suitcase. “Hope you’ve got a board I can borrow. I’ve been hanging to catch a few waves since I got here.”
“What’s going on, bro?” He dropped the lighthearted tone. “No one in their right mind would move out of your condo and into my shit hole, regardless of it being near the beach.”
I paused. “Let’s just say my circumstances have changed and leave it at that.” I continued to throw more of my dirty laundry in the bag.
“Sure thing, LJ, I understand. Come over anytime. I’ve got the midnight flight and won’t be leaving for the airport until late. Rent has been paid up for the next six months. You’ll just need to sort out the utilities.”
I knew he wouldn’t hassle me for details. He had enough crap going on in his life at the moment. He didn’t need mine as well.
“I’ll throw you some coin for the rent, too.” I wasn’t about to freeload off him.
“Bro, that’s not necessary. It’s my crap. I’m just thankful someone is able to stay here. Besides, I don’t know long I’ll be gone. According to the doctors, Mom hasn’t got much longer. Doctors think it might be sooner than later.”
“Dude, I’m so sorry. I know how it feels.” I couldn’t lie and bring myself to tell him it got easier with time. Because it didn’t.
“Thanks, bro. It helps to have someone who understands. Listen, I’ve gotta go. I’ve still got a few things to organize before I fly out.”
“Sure thing. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” I farewelled him and disconnected the call.
My two suitcases, lying open on the bed, were almost packed, my measly belongings haphazardly thrown in. Walking around the condo, I knew I wouldn’t miss this place one iota. Sure, it was five-star with awesome views of the boardwalk and the ocean, but it had never felt like me. Like a place I could plant down roots and build a future. Like a home. Now that the ties with my past were firmly severed, I could look to the future. One that involved Andi.
There had been no response to my text message I sent earlier. No news was good news, right? I’d wait here until she finished work like we planned, and then we would go together to Phil’s. First thing—I had some explaining to do to her. It was time I came clean with my full background story, starting at the beginning in Sydney after Mom died, then LA. I was hoping that she would understand why I sold my soul to the devil called Derek, and forgive me for not telling her sooner.
****
Andi was late. I had given her the benefit of the doubt two hours ago and allowed for traffic, or maybe she had to work late. But now, I’d run out of excuses. Other than she had read the article and believed every lie.
My hand shook as I pulled out my cell phone and pressed her number. She answered on the third ring. There were no hellos. She didn’t give me a chance.
“You cheating, lying asshole,” she slurred down the phone line me. “I hate you so much right now. So much that if you were burning, I wouldn’t even piss on you to put the fire out.”
“Andi.” I tried to interrupt her vitriolic word spew.
“Shut up!” she yelled, then she sobbed, sounding defeated, almost whispering. “Shut up... I loved you, and you lied to me. You lied to me about her, and you gave me her jacket. You have no idea how I feel right now. Just leave me alone.”
More sobbing as she disconnected the line.
Chapter Thirty-One
Andi
I lift the cup of scalding hot coffee to my mouth and took a sip. The skin on the roof of my mouth immediately peeled away and my esophagus burned as the liquid lava continued to my stomach.
“Isn’t that hot?” Char asked.
I shrugged my shoulders.
She eyeballed me. “So are you self-harming now?”
I held my arm out to her. “I fail to see any cuts on my body.”
“There are other ways, like drinking hot coffee just poured from the pot.”
“It wasn’t that hot.”
“Liar. I poured myself one before you came and I had to let it sit for ten minutes before it was drinkable.”
My lifeless eyes met hers. “I must have a high threshold for pain then, because it didn’t hurt.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Have you spoken to him yet?”
“No.” I looked away, putting the cup back on the table.
“Is he still texting?”
I met her eyes again. “Every day without fail.”
Her eyes narrowed. “And you haven’t texted back? It’s Friday already. I don’t believe you haven’t spoken to him or texted h
im back.”
“Well, I haven’t.” Pushing my chair back, I stood, took my coffee cup to the sink, and poured the contents down the drain. Tasted like shit anyway. “I haven’t texted him or spoken to him since Monday night after he called...and that didn’t end so well.”
Char waited until I was done and rinsed her cup. “What did he say? You still haven’t told me.”
“I didn’t give him a chance to say anything. I was pretty well drunk by that stage, and let him have it. There was a lot of yelling and crying from me, and then basically, I hung up on him.”
“Are you even tempted to text him back? Like maybe just a teensy weensy bit?” She held her finger and thumb up and moved them together until they were only just separated.
I sighed and leaned up against the sink in the Costco staff lunchroom, folding my arms across my chest. “Truthfully? Yes, I am. He keeps telling me in his text messages he was set up.”
Char mirrored my body position. “Do you believe him?”
Widening my eyes, I looked skyward, my eyes burning as tears formed. I refused to blink. I wasn’t about to let myself cry at work. “I don’t know. It doesn’t add up, why he would still want to be with me when he has her? But that photo...and then there was the fact he lent me her jacket. He had it at his place! I’m so confused.”
She nodded. “It does sound very complicated. Change of topic. Have you seen Ben today? He was looking for you earlier.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t know he was working.”
“Did I just hear my name?” Ben asked as he walked into the room.
This time last week, if Ben had of walked into this room, my heart would have fluttered and I would have jumped at the chance to talk to him. Today, there was just the usual empty space in my chest that had been left there since Monday.
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