by Ana Layne
This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. I rest my hand against the small of her back, rubbing against her flesh. The second my hand touches her, she startles as if she didn’t expect it, but then leans into me a little more. When she moves her hands to rest on my stomach, the aching grows stronger.
I want this girl. I know she can feel my arousal pressing against her thigh. She moans a little louder, deepening the kiss before pulling away.
“I should get home. I’ve got a big day to get ready for.”
As badly as I want to argue with her, I won’t let myself. It’s something I don’t agree with and she knows that. I don’t want to ruin this moment.
All I can do is nod. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I look to see Whitney’s name, wondering why she’s even awake now.
Where are you? We tried to stop by.
On my way home. I rode with Raegan.
Oh, la-la! Okay, well, hope I wasn’t interrupting anything!
Um, no you weren’t.
Fine grumpy. I’ll ttyl. Oh hey, ask Raegan if she wants to go baby shopping with me tomorrow.
I’ll ask but she probably won’t. She’s planning to keep fighting.
Oh really?
Yeah, you heard right.
I didn’t feel like responding after that. The ride to my apartment is quiet. I wonder what’s going on in that pretty head of hers. One thing is for sure, I know what’s going through mine and it has everything to do with her. Raegan parks the truck and looks over at me. I can’t help but take her hand into mine and kiss her knuckles as I savor this moment with her.
“Will you come inside for a few minutes?”
She seems hesitant at first but then she says, “Okay.”
She sits beside me on the couch turning her body so she can face me. She brushes her lips against mine. I kiss her eagerly as she lies down on the couch. She arches her back as I trail kisses from her lips to her collar bone, savoring each and every inch of her. She slips her hands under my shirt, fumbling to lift it. I stop kissing her long enough to pull my shirt off. She’s grinning devilishly, dammit, she’s killing me. She runs her hands through my hair as she pulls me back against her. My heart pounds relentlessly in my chest and I wonder if she can feel it as our bodies lie flush with one another. It’s intense and everything I realize I’ve been missing. It’s everything I want. Slowly, she pulls away grinning, but that smile is broken by a yawn. A very big yawn.
“You tired, babe?”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I don’t know where that came from.”
“It’s okay.” I pull her up next to me, placing one more kiss on her temple. She’s resting her head on my shoulder but the more tired she gets, the more her head leans toward my lap. I gently stroke her hair as I listen to her breathing begin to even out. This moment is perfect. I could do this every day with her and never get tired of it. She belongs with me, I just know it.
“Thank you, Raegan.”
“For what?”
“Spending the evening with me. This is all I wanted.” I continue to stroking her hair and the corner of her mouth slides upward into a sleepy grin. Her breathing gets back to an even state like it was earlier and soon I hear a light snore. She will be mine, I know it. This is it.
After a few minutes, she straightens abruptly, rubbing her eyes. She’s getting ready to leave. I want to ask her to sleep over. I want to promise I won’t put any moves on her, not unless she wants me to. I want her to be beside me. I want to wake up and see those beautiful blue eyes staring back at me.
“Can I ask you something, Garrett?”
“Of course you can.”
“I don’t know what’s going on between us…but can you please not treat me any different around everyone? Because I didn’t join the gym to meet a guy.”
I thought we were really getting somewhere, but now I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet. All because I can’t keep my mouth shut.
“You don’t have anything to worry about anything. I’ll act like none of this ever happened.”
“I, I didn’t mean it like that Garrett.” Her face turns pale.
“Really, it’s fine. I don’t have time for a relationship either so consider it forgotten. Nothing more than a guilty pleasure. We can just be two friends with benefits if that’s what you want to call it.”
“Oh.”
She looks like she may cry, and it’s all my fault. The perfect evening we just had was ruined. When she leaves, I drag myself off the couch, grab the vase from the table, and throw it across the room. Shards of glass fly everywhere but I ignore the mess because I just screwed up something that meant a lot to me.
Despite my wanting it to be, it wasn’t a dream, and I know because she avoids me the next day. She does all her training with Lance and pretends I don’t exist.
My heart feels like it’s been ripped out. But then, I hurt her first.
Chapter 13
Raegan
“Keep your hands up, Raegan. Whoever you’re against could throw a punch at any time and I can almost guarantee you it will knock you on your ass if you aren’t prepared.” Whitney stood beside me and Lance inside Lou’s, watching us spar.
I’m nervous, and it doesn’t help that my evening with Garrett keeps playing over and over again in my head. All I wanted to do was make sure he wasn’t going to treat me any differently, and instead he starts saying he doesn’t have time for a relationship. My heart sinks knowing that there can never be anything between us. I feel remorseful, wishing I had not brought it up.
He’s watching me, too, and I wonder if he’s trying to get my attention, but I’m not giving it to him. I can’t believe I locked lips with him. I want to put my lips in a pot of boiling water and remove any trace he left on them—even if it was the best kiss I’ve ever had.
Dad and I actually held a decent conversation last night once I got home. I was grateful for that, since my evening with Garrett didn’t end the way I’d expected. Part of me wishes Dad would talk about what’s happened recently, but rehashing it isn’t what I want. I just want him to apologize, try to fix things. He asked what I’ve been up to and whether or not I wanted to pursue college. I told him maybe one day—but not now. I just want to focus on myself. I didn’t tell him about my training.
Dinner was cooked and on the stove. It was only ground beef, but it was a meal, and those have been scarce since Nancy left. If I stayed home more often, I could cook for him. But between training and the fights, I’m hardly here. Hell, that’s the plan; every moment I’m home, I’m risking more abuse from him.
I’m snapped back into reality when Howard calls me over to make sure I’m positive I want to continue on this path. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Garrett watching me, scowling. If he wants to be an arrogant ass, then I can be a stubborn bitch: I blow him a kiss and saunter away. And here we go, round and round in a vicious circle. When it’s spinning in the right direction it’s absolutely amazing.
Howard heads into the office, and Garrett tries to talk to me. Before he can speak, I throw him an innocent smile and whisper, “Hey, friend-with-benefits.”
The look on his face betrays emptiness and revulsion, and he appears even more irritated when I strike up conversation with Lance.
“What are you doing tonight, Lance?”
“Why? What are you up to, Raegan? If it’s more cock-blocking, I’m out.”
My body shakes with laughter as I remember last night. He had that coming; I don’t know why he didn’t see that.
“I won’t do that. I promise. Let’s go get drunk and make bad decisions. You can be my partner in crime. What do ya say?”
Garrett stomps over. “Do you really think that’s a good idea, Raegan?” He crosses his arms over his chest, trying to intimidate me. “You’ve got a big day coming.”
Our gazes meet and my expression turns cold. “I don’t care what you think, Garrett. Your opinion doesn’t matter. I’m nothing to you, remember?”
Lance looks betw
een the two of us and starts laughing. I punch him and he throws his arms in the air. “You two crack me up.” Lance shakes his head. “Why don’t you just screw each other already?”
I feel my face flush; Garrett mumbles something to Lance, then stalks off toward Whitney.
“Good going, asshole,” I say through gritted teeth, punching him in the arm.
“Damn, I wish I could say you hit like a girl, but you don’t. That shit hurt!”
Sabotage never felt so good, even if I was breaking inside because of Garrett. I just want him to understand the insignificance I feel. Whitney waves, telling us goodbye. This is the moment I dread. She and Howard are leaving to go to a doctor’s appointment. Garrett takes this as his chance to leave too, but not before he walks back up to me, leaning in where only I can hear, and whispers, “I screwed up. But don’t think this is over yet, I’m not done, and I won’t stop until you’re mine.”
My breath turns ragged, my whole body tingles. I watch him walk away, hating the effect he has on me.
Why the hell does everything have to be so damn complicated? According to what he said last night, there was nothing between us. Nothing had started. Now all of a sudden he wants me. I don’t know what to think, or what to do. This whole situation is beginning to seem like a game. We are both the pawns, unsure of what move to make next. But I’m tired of being a pawn in his game.
Chapter 14
Garrett
Whitney’s giving advice as if she’s still fighting in the ring. And of course, Raegan practices with Lance. She still isn’t talking to me and when she looks at me, all I got was a provocative smirk but I know she doesn’t mean anything sexy by it. She was just trying to get me excited and it’s working.
I take my shirt off and walk over to the punching bags, trying to get some frustration out of the way. I know I fucked up last night. I should have never said any of those things to her but I was scared she was pulling away from me. This girl makes me some kind of crazy. One minute she has me wrapped around her finger, and when our lips touch, all I want is to make her feel good inside and out. The next minute, she has me throwing my hands in the air wondering what the hell is going on. She won’t talk about anything. Now that I think about it, I don’t even know why she’s here. I can’t get close enough to her to ask.
She blows me a kiss and I want to scream and punch the wall in, but instead I just glare at her. She knows I’m pissed and I hate that she’s enjoying it. I decide I’ll talk to her, and this time she’ll listen.
But she completely throws me off when she calls me her friend with benefits. If I could shoot flames out of my eyes I would. Now I’m more pissed than I was before. Yeah, it’s my fault she’s calling me that. Hell, I called us that last night but I didn’t mean it. I don’t just want her body, I want all of her.
She adjusts her ponytail and before I can try to talk again, she strikes up a conversation with Lance. He wouldn’t dare try anything with her. I know him better than that and he knows how I feel about her, but that doesn’t mean somebody else wouldn’t give it a shot. If someone touched her wrong, I’d kill them.
I jump in their conversation hoping to sway her, but it doesn’t work. Dammit, I want us to be something. We were headed in the right direction until I fucked up.
Lance screws everything up with his big mouth. Fuck this, I’m leaving. She doesn’t want to listen to me. Who knows, I may go out tonight and find some beauty in the bar, make her remember my name, make her scream it. But I can’t lie to myself: the only one I want is Raegan.
After making sure she knows I won’t give up, I drive away from Lou’s. On the way home I map out my game plan. I am not sitting home tonight. If Raegan is going out with Lance, I will be there. Watching. Waiting to make my move. I will have her whether it is tonight or some other night.
Walking into Joe’s, I scan the crowd looking for her or Lance. There are no signs of them, but I am willing to bet they show up. She wants to make me jealous and I’m here to burst her bubble. I want to be prepared with some sort of strategy but I have nothing.
The blonde from the other night flashes me a Hollywood smile. “Hey, your girlfriend not here tonight?”
She practically spit the word with as much disgust as she could muster.
I turn and meet the girl’s eyes and say coolly, “I don’t have a girlfriend.”
She eases up, taking a sip of her girlie cocktail. She looks easy, and there’s no doubt she’d be a decent distraction. By the end of the night, I prove my assumption correct.
Much later on, as I lay in my bed alone, I curse myself for taking the blonde in the back closet and bending her over the boxes.
It didn’t fix anything; it only made it worse.
Chapter 15
Raegan
I swear to God, I’m scared I’m going to lose my shit. The leftovers from two days ago are totally unappetizing, but it’s all I can find in the house besides some Jell-O and saltine crackers. Dad hasn’t bought groceries in almost a week and all my money is going toward getting me the hell out of here. I know the police department pays better than that. Asshole.
Garrett’s watching, but he doesn’t say a word. I’m glad Howard is my trainer. He fully understands my situation; he saw potential in me the day we met, or at least that’s what he says. But sometimes I wish I hadn’t met Garrett. It’s a constant battle with him, and I just don’t have time for that.
Tonight, there’re a lot of people inside waiting to see some good fights. The arena is already packed with spectators. Air conditioning infused with sweat fills my nostrils as adrenaline courses through my veins in anticipation of the excitement. The lights are so bright I can barely make out the ring where I will soon be taking out all my anger and frustrations in hopes of earning a little more money to tuck away inside my shoebox. Not much more, that’s what I kept telling myself. Howard just finished helping me secure my gloves as I got ready for my fight. I have no idea who I’m up against which is what I find to be the most exciting. That’s part of the reason I’m so nervous. I just know I’ll be in the cage.
I’ve fought against a few of the women and so far, I’ve only lost one. Marley was one tough bitch and I admire her for that. Howard knew I wanted more and I was capable of handling more; shit, I practically knocked him on his ass when we were just practicing. And I know he came at me full force, he didn’t take it easy on me and treat me like some sort of princess. I’ve never fought against one of the guys, but I figure me of all people could take a hit from a man. After all, that’s what I get at home.
Blaize’s voice broke through my thoughts again when I heard my name over the speakers. “Tonight, we have our own Raegan Montgomery in the cage. I love seeing women kick ass. Can I get a hell yeah?”
The crowd erupts and a few even holler my name. I’ve become a bit of a favorite here. Blaize looks at the clipboard in front of him, excitement igniting in his eyes. Shit, he sees who I’m up against. Howard and I make our way closer to the ring so he can finish prepping me. When he finishes, he pulls me in for a quick hug.
“Good luck, Raegan. Just remember what we’ve practiced and keep your hands up. Don’t let the bastard get a shot in. You got this.”
“Don’t worry, Howard. She won’t know what hit her.”
The crowd suddenly gets quiet as Blaize sets the clipboard down and brings the microphone back to his mouth. My nerves take over shaking me to my core; I didn’t think that was possible. My gut twists as my palms begin to sweat inside the gloves. Gross. I know what’s next, I agreed to this; this isn’t my first fight. I’m already nervous to begin with before every match but slowly this is becoming reality. My reality.
“Okay, I’m super fucking stoked about this match up and I think you guys will be too,” Blaize calls out. “We have the best of the best going at it tonight and for once, I’m not sure who to place my money on. So without further bullshit, our Raegan Montgomery will be facing off against Stacy Harper. Fuck yeah, I can’t wait to see
this one.”
The entire crowd begins cheering and it’s so loud I can hardly hear myself think. Did he really just say I was up against Stacy tonight? No. I can’t fight Stacy. Who makes these lists? This has got to be a joke. She is the most badass female fighter there is, and I didn’t think we’re even in the same weight class. There’s no way we are, she’s huge.
My face pales as I turn to meet Garrett’s gaze. He looks worried, like he wants to drag me out of there, away from the ring.
Oh God, I can’t do this. I need a way out. The walls are closing in as I hear our names being chanted throughout the building. I could handle fighting any other woman in here, just not Stacy. All eyes are on me and I suddenly feel as if I can’t move. Thank God we aren’t the first fight of the evening, or I’m not sure I’d be able to escape. After Blaize calls our names, he continues to call out every other pairing of the night and we were set to go last.
Jack Miller and Lance Jones step into the ring and their fight begins. I could easily take one of them on with nothing to hold me back, if fighting the men were possible. Jack used to train with us, but he moved, and seeing these two in the ring together brings me back to the first week I was at Lou’s. Both of them are good and it’s hard to predict who will come out on top.
I snap out of my thoughts as Garrett inches closer to me. Shit. What does he want? Does he just want to gloat about how she’s about to throw my little body across the cage? I’ll fucking drag him to the ground now; I’m not in the mood.