by B. B. Hamel
I hesitate. “You watched my games?”
“Every one. Saw you get wrecked. Laughed my ass off.”
I clench my jaw. For a second there, I thought he might turn out to be a decent dad, but nope, there that goes. He’s still a fucking prick, even if he did watch the games.
“Glad you enjoyed it,” I say tightly.
“Looked bad. You ain’t playing again, boy, you know that? Ain’t never fucking playing again.” He cackles at me, unsteady on his feet. “Never shoulda gone to Russia, boy, never shoulda gone.”
I step up to him. “Go to bed, you drunk idiot.”
His nostrils flare like an angry horse and I thin k he might actually be wasted enough to try and hit me. Instead, he just sneers. “Never shoulda,” he says, turning away. “Never gonna again.”
He stumbles off down the hall. I watch him go into his room, slamming the door behind me.
I’m so fucking angry I can barely think. I walk over to my phone, snatch it from my desk, and text Addie. “Meet me in our spot,” I type. “Another episode.”
She’ll know what that means. I haven’t used that code in a long time, but back in the day, when my dad used to try and beat my ass, I’d text her that he’s having another episode and that I needed to meet. She’d come spend time with me, no matter when or where, until I felt like it was safe to go back home.
I don’t feel unsafe here, though, at least not for my sake. I feel like it’s unsafe for my father, and if I don’t leave, I’m going to hurt him very, very badly.
I don’t wait to hear back from her. I just get changed, grab my walking stick, and head out the door. My knee’s a little sore and I’m still angry as all hell, but at least being away from that house and out in the sunshine makes me feel like a normal person again.
I don’t bother posting up at the crossroads and waiting for her. I can’t be sure she’ll even show up, anyway. It’s a Saturday, so I know she’s not working, but still. She could be busy with her daughter or maybe there’s just nobody around to babysit. I can’t rely on Addie anymore to solve my problems, or at least I can’t assume she’ll come listen to them.
It’s a sad thought as I make my way toward the falls. I head through the underbrush and climb down the rocks until I’m out near the edge, watching the water fly into the air.
It’s actually weirdly peaceful, sitting at the edge of a waterfall. There’s a reason we used to come out here all the time. Addie would smile and lean back against the rock, letting the sun hit her in the face, arms stretched out next to her. I used to love watching her lay there for hours at a time while nothing happened, just nature doing its normal thing.
I can almost feel all that again, sitting here alone. It’s not the same, obviously, but it’s still pretty good. I hate being back in Weston and I despise living with my father, but I’m getting better. I’m figuring it out.
“Will?”
Her voice pulls me from my thoughts and my heart leaps in my chest. I stand up and wave to her. “Down here,” I call back.
She smiles and starts to head toward me, climbing down the rocks with ease. I note that it took me maybe five minutes to cover the distance while it barely takes her one.
“I’m surprised you came,” I admit to her as she drops down next to me. We bit sit with our backs against the rock step, legs straight out in front of us.
“I haven’t gotten that text in a while,” she says, shrugging. “I figured it was important.”
“Yeah, well, now I feel a little silly sending it, honestly. I was pretty worked up.”
“What happened?”
I take a breath and let it out. “I went to physical therapy, like you suggested.”
She smiles at me. “That’s awesome.”
“Thanks. I was doing some exercises in my room when my dad came up, drunk as fuck like usual, and said some shit.”
“What did he say?” she asks softly.
I hesitate. “Nothing I didn’t already know.”
She nods. “I get it if you don’t want to say. I’m just surprised that he’s still pulling this shit.”
“He’s an asshole,” I say. “He thinks I’ll never play hockey again and I’m wasting my time, and he told me so. I don’t know why or what his deal is, but it’s like he’s jealous or something.”
‘Maybe he is,” she says.
“Maybe.” I sigh and rub my knee. “He’s just a drunk old man and I’m the closest target right now.”
“Still, I thought he’d be past this.”
“Nobody outgrows being an asshole.”
She laughs a little bit and puts her hand on my leg. “I’m sorry, Will.”
“Yeah. Me too. I shouldn’t have dragged you out here.”
“It’s okay.” She pulls her hand back and I wish she wouldn’t. “I was bored, honestly. Cara’s taking a nap and Julissa’s there watching her, so I didn’t have much to do.”
“Glad I could be of service then.”
She smiles and I feel her shoulder touch mine. I thought she might pull away immediately, but instead the touch lingers.
“Why don’t you move out of your dad’s place?” she asks me.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I could afford it.”
“But instead you’re dealing with that dumb, abusive asshole.”
I nod, looking away at the water rushing down toward the falls. I know the real reason that I haven’t made any moves yet. I can feel the rock under my fingers as I gently scrape at the surface, a nervous little gesture.
“It would feel to permanent,” I say finally after a short silence. “If I move into my own place, I’m afraid I’ll get complacent.”
“I can understand that,” she says. “But do you really think you’ll make any progress living in your dad’s house?”
I sigh. “I know you’re right. It still feels wrong.” I pick up a pebble nearby and throw it into the water. “If I get an apartment, I’ll need a job to help pay for shit, and that’ll take up all my time. I’m afraid I’ll just settle.”
“Look, I’m not trying to pressure you into anything.” She nudges me and I look back toward her. “But since when did Will Eaton settle for anything other than what he wants?”
Our eyes lock and her words strike me down to my core. I stare at her and she’s not looking away, her chin tipped up toward me. I can feel my heart beating faster and I know that she’s right, but not about what she thinks.
Without another word, I reach up and tilt her chin closer to me as I lean in and kiss her. At first, I think she’s surprised. She doesn’t kiss me back for a few seconds, until I feel her arms pull me closer.
I grab her hair with my right hand and kiss her full and deep. It feels so fucking good and I’ve been wanting this for so god damn long. I was with other women in Russia, mostly jaded groupies that fucked practically every pro player in Moscow, but none of them made me want to stick around. The only woman to ever make me feel something more is Addie, and I thought I fucked that up a long time ago.
I don’t know what comes over me. It’s like a rush, like the waterfall that’s ten feet away. I move over, straddling her and pressing her back against the rocks, ignoring the pain in my knee. I kiss her deep and full and I can hear as much as feel a little moan escape her lips as my hands reach down to unbutton her jeans. She doesn’t protest or fight me as I tug them down her body, sliding them over her full ass and hips before kissing her again, one hand between her legs.
She groans as I rub her panties and I’m surprised at how wet she is already. I bet she was soaked as soon as she sat down next to me, probably picturing something just like this. I push her panties aside and find her soft clit and I slowly rub it, making her whole body tremble.
“Will,” she whispers as I kiss her neck. “What are we doing?”
“Just what we should’ve been doing for a long time,” I say in her ear as I press two fingers deep inside. She groans as I pull her hair with my other hand. “Just what you’ve been dream
ing about these last two years.”
I slide my fingers in deeper and I get a satisfying groan from her. I’m so hard it almost hurts but this moment is all about her body. I need her to know how important she is to me, and I don’t know how else to show her.
My fingers explore her pussy, fucking her deeper and slower before pumping fast again. She kisses me deep, moans escaping he lips, her hands around my neck. I want to make her come so badly, but I also don’t want this moment to end. We’re suspended above the falls, and it feels so fucking good.
I know we have to topple over though. I pull back from her and slide down between her legs. She shuffles a little, spreading her legs wide as I kiss the inside of her thighs. She groans when my tongue finds her clit, and I know what she likes. I’ve been thinking about it for two years.
I tongue her pussy inside and out, licking up every drop. She tastes just like I remembered, like fucking candy on my tongue. I lick her clit and slide two fingers deep inside of her, fucking her in and out as I eat and lick. She’s groaning, hips rolling, and her voice is starting to carry over the falls. I love the way I can make her body work, the way her moans sound in my ear. I press my fingers deeper and slide them back out, tongue still lapping at her pussy.
She presses my face tighter and I know she’s close. I go faster, moving in rhythm to her moans and her hips. I want to taste it as my tongue keeps lapping and my lips suck her dry.
The orgasm rushes through her, making her whole body stiffen in response. I don’t let up, I keep pushing her over the edge, making her moans come out strangled and insane. I keep that up for half a minute before she finally starts to relax.
I look up at her with a grin on my face, and she’s flushed and breathing hard.
“Where’d that come from?” she asks me.
I shrug a little, sitting back. “I don’t know,” I admit.
She gets her jeans back on, still breathing fast. “That was, uh, unexpected.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Do you ever expect to get eaten out next to a waterfall?”
“No,” she admits. “Just, this was even more unexpected than usual. There’s always the chance with you.”
I laugh a little. “Fair enough. I don’t know what came over me. I just… wanted to.”
“I know.” She stands up and tugs her jeans up over her ass and hips. “Look, we should just stick to friends okay?”
“Sure,” I say, shrugging and pretending like those words don’t hurt a little bit. “What else would we be?”
She stares at me for a second. “Yeah. Right, exactly.” I watch as she hops up the rock step, heading back toward the forest.
“Wait, Addie, hold on.” I stand, walking over to the ledge.
“It’s okay,” she calls back, already climbing up the second one. “I’ll see you later.”
“Addie,” I call after her, but she just waves and disappears into the forest.
“Shit,” I say softly. “I wanted you to help me get out of here.”
I turn back to the waterfall and sigh. I sink back down to the ground and sit there for a while longer, rubbing my aching knee and thinking about Addie’s body, the way she tastes, the way she writhes, and the way she says my name as she comes on my tongue.
11
Addie
“Listen, I thought about what you said, and I got a job.”
I hesitate, a little surprise. I didn’t expect to hear from Will this fast, especially considering what happened the day before. I almost didn’t even take his call.
“Let me take you out,” he says. “I want to celebrate.”
I pause. “I have Cara today.”
“That’s okay, bring her. We’ll make a picnic over by that big, weird oak.”
I know the tree he’s talking about. It’s enormous, gnarled, and looks like it was hit by lightning at least twenty different times. Still, somehow it’s alive, and it sprouts big, gorgeous leaves every spring.
“I don’t know,” I say lamely, trying to come up with an excuse.
“Look, if you’re weird about yesterday, it’s fine. I get it.”
“I’m not weird,” I protest, even though I really, really am.
“Fine. I’ll come get you in like a couple hours?”
“Fine.” I realize that I’m agreeing to this almost. Out of spite. “I’ll see you soon.”
He hangs up the phone and I sigh. I look over at Cara as she plays in the lawn placidly, and I don’t know what the hell I’m thinking.
I ran away from him yesterday for a reason. I couldn’t face him again, not after going through that. He makes me feel things I never thought were possible, physically and emotionally. I don’t know why I gave myself to him like that, or why he stopped at getting me off the way he did, but it was incredible.
And afterward, I hated myself. At least just a little bit. I’ve been so angry with him for so long, and now he’s suddenly back in my life and I’m just willing to throw myself back into all that. It’s pathetic.
But my god… it felt so good. So, so freaking good. I haven’t been touched like that, well, ever, with the exception of that one night I spent with him already. He has this way about him and he just seems to get what I need. I don’t know how he does it, but he can get me off so easily, like he almost doesn’t mean to.
I know it’s dangerous, seeing him again. I know I’m going to catch feelings pretty fast if I keep this up. But he’s the best friend I’ve ever had, and I know he needs me now more than ever. He’s floundering, trying to figure out what direction he wants to go, and I know I should at least be there for him as he figures it all out. Plus, he’s back living with his abusive asshole dad, which doesn’t help one bit.
I remember how he helped me back when I was first acclimating to being back in the real world. We were just kids back then but he was patient and kind and generous with me. We’d talk about his problems with his dad, but mostly we’d talk about mine. I told him all the dreams I had, all the memories I couldn’t stop reliving over and over, and he was always there to hold me as I cried.
Now he needs me, and I want to return that favor. But it’s so much more complicated. Back then we didn’t have this rich and detailed history. He could listen to my stories about how my parents locked me in the basement and refused to feed me for days at a time, how my dad would hit me with a belt if I asked for water too loudly, how my mom would laugh when I’d beg her to make my dad stop. It was easy to tell a stranger all that, because he couldn’t judge me. He didn’t even know me.
Now we have all this history, and it’s driving me insane.
I need to get over it. I have to be strong for my friend, even if things are weird. I know I shouldn’t bring Cara with me, but I have no other choice, and plus, they’ve already met. Might as well try and make this as normal as possible and hope he just never figures out the truth.
I get changed, freshen up, and get Cara ready. Will’s right on time, showing up exactly two hours after he called. I help him set up Cara’s car seat in the back of his truck before we head out together, a weird little family, although he doesn’t realize that part.
“You gonna tell me about this job?” I ask him.
“Yeah, eventually,” he says. “It’s not exactly a dream gig, you know.” He hesitates. “My dad got it for me.”
I stifle a groan. “Really?”
He glances at me. “Really. I know, I know, it’s stupid, but it pays pretty good and the interview was easy.”
“I’m honestly surprised he’d give you something,” I say to him.
“I. think he feels bad about being a dick the other day.” He shrugs a little. “Whatever. It’s just a retail gig at his location in town. He’s barely ever there so it’ll be fine.”
“Well, good for you,” I say, although it confuses me. “I’m glad you made a move.”
“Me too.” He grins at me as we pull down a little dirt road. It finishes at a dead end and he parks the truck off to the side. We get our stuff together a
nd head out toward the tree. It sits on top of a hill nearby, branches crawling up toward the sky like eels. I carry Cara’s stuff and Will carries a blanket and a picnic basket.
We set up at the base of the tree in a bit of shade cast by the wide leafy branches. Cara immediately starts playing in the dirt around the big, curving roots, and Will unpacks the food.
“Same as before,” he says, handing me the sandwich. “Hope that’s okay.”
“Very uninspired,” I joke.
He grins at me. “Guess I’m not so creative after all.”
“No, but I can’t complain.” I unwrap the sandwich and take a bite. “Delicious.”
He grins and starts eating too. I give Cara some of her dolls and watch as she makes them roll around in the dirt. Fortunately, I put her in clothes that I don’t really care about, since I knew she’d be getting filthy. Can’t keep kids clean, especially not outdoors.
“She’s cute,” Will says.
I smile. “Yeah, she is.”
“How’s it been, being a mom?” He asks softly, so Cara can’t hear.
“Good and bad,” I say honestly. “I haven’t slept well since I got pregnant. But having her in my life’s been amazing.”
“The sleep thing’s real?”
“Very real,” I say, laughing. “Sleep while you can, because after you have kids, it’s all over.”
He sighs. “I do love my sleep.”
“You’re a total bachelor.”
“You think so?” He cocks his head at me. “I don’t see myself that way.”
“Sure, you were always something of a player back at school.”
“Maybe. I mean, I can’t help it if ladies threw themselves at me.”
I groan. “Seriously?”
“You’re just jealous.” He grins at me. “Always were.”
I roll my eyes. “And you’re not funny.”
“I am definitely very, very funny.”
He puts his sandwich down, only half eaten, and goes over to Cara. He sits in the dirt next to her and he starts playing with her dolls. She looks a little hesitant at first, but slowly she starts to warm up to him.