You’re the Reason

by J. Nathan

  Chase stood there with his hands in his pockets and his eyes trained on mine. “Why was he in your room?”

  “What?”

  He brushed past me into the room. “Ryan. Why was he in here with you alone? I thought you were going out?”

  I slammed the door and spun around, pissed at his tone and abrasiveness. “Don’t even tell me this is somehow going to be about me being reckless again. Is it reckless to have a guy in my room?” I ticked my chin toward him. “Because you’re in my room.”

  “You can trust me.”

  I scoffed. “Right. Trust is the first thing I think of when I think of you. Actually, right now, it’s more like creepy stalker.”

  “I get it. I hurt your pride or something.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath. “My pride or something? Are you for real?”

  “I’m just saying, you’re mad at me. Fine. Whatever. But you need to listen to me.”

  “So, you’re gonna dismiss my pride being hurt or whatever, but now I have to listen to you? Seriously?”

  He dragged his hands through his hair. “God dammit, Soph. Stop putting yourself in bad situations.”

  “You know what?” I walked to the door. “I’m gonna take your advice.” I yanked it open. “You. You’re the bad situation. So, get out.”

  His teeth clenched and his jaw began to pulse.

  “Thanks for worrying about my well-being,” I said with an insincere smile. “But I’m good.”

  “That’s not why I came by. We have our project.”

  A sarcastic laugh escaped me. “Not tonight we don’t.”

  He stared at me long and hard, annoyance weighing heavy in his eyes like when we first met. He broke eye contact first and walked straight out the door without another word.

  Good riddance, asshole.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  I arrived early to Art History, taking my usual spot near the back. I checked my phone to be sure it was silenced then slipped it in my bag.

  “Are you going out with him again?” Chase asked from the seat behind mine.

  I didn’t bother turning around. “That’s not your seat.”

  “Are you gonna answer me?”

  “Are you gonna leave me alone?” I countered. “Because first, you can’t stand the sight of me, and now you’ve turned into some kind of creepy stalker.”

  “Answer the question.”

  “Yes.”

  “What?”

  I huffed my frustration. “I just answered your question.”

  “So, you’re going out with him again?”

  I lifted my hands to my face and scrubbed them up down, needing to wake up from this craziness. “Please leave me alone.”

  “Chantel and I are going with you.”

  I spun around to glare at him. “Is something wrong with you? Like seriously messed up in your head?”

  My question obviously confused him judging by the look on his face. “No.”

  “Are you sure? Because I think you’re the crazy one I need to stay away from. You are seeing my roommate. Which means you have no right to tell me what to do.” I turned back around and despite his attempts to say more, I ignored him.

  Going with him to the coast had been a bad decision. Nothing good came of it. He now thought he could tell me what to do and who to do it with. He clearly didn’t get the memo. No one told me what to do. Not him. Not Chantel. I made my own decisions—good or bad, they were mine to make.

  When the professor dismissed us, I took my time, hoping Chase would leave before me.

  “We need to work on our project,” he said, still seated in the seat behind mine.

  I closed my eyes. Dealing with him was beginning to wear on me.

  “Are you free tonight?”

  I said nothing as I put my laptop into my backpack and stood up.

  “Sophia?”

  I swung my bag over my shoulders and secured it onto my back.

  “I’ll be in the media room at seven,” he said, making no move to stand as I marched out of the lecture hall.

  ***

  “Are you gonna meet him?” Valerie asked over dinner that night.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s been acting so strange.” I closed my eyes. “What am I saying? He only ever acts strange.”

  “He’s always been a pretty chill guy,” Valerie said.

  “Are we talking about the same Chase?”

  “Apparently, you just bring out the worst in him.”

  “Oh, yay me.”

  Valerie smiled before taking a bite of her salad. “You don’t really have a choice, though, do you? He’s your partner and your grade depends on both of you doing the work.”

  I released a deep breath, hating that she was right. I couldn’t let my feelings about him affect my grade in class. I could show up, watch the movies, and then write the paper without barely even having to talk to him.

  Two hours later, I passed through the front door of the media room, scanning the dark room for Chase. He’d selected the same cubicle we sat in last time. I slipped into the empty seat beside him, and he jumped when he saw me.

  “Hey,” he said.

  I removed my bag from my back and placed it on the floor.

  “I already got the two movies,” he said.

  “Let me guess, the shortest ones?”

  He shook his head. “Longest.”

  I heaved a deep breath, as two thoughts weighed on my mind. One, why did he want to spend time with me? And, two, what psychological issues did he suffer from? “I don’t think I can make it through two movies tonight.”

  He shrugged. “I’m free tomorrow night if you are.”

  Ignoring his offer, I pulled our assignment sheet out of my bag, making sure I knew what the requirements were. It took no time for the woodsy scent of his cologne to drift toward me, working its way into my breaths. Why was it that hot guys always smelled good? Was it an unspoken requirement or something?

  Chase switched on the old black and white movie, and I began taking notes. As the movie played, I sensed Chase moving closer to me. Eventually, his arm rested against mine. Oh, no you don’t. I shifted my arm away.

  When he realized I was keeping my distance, his hand landed on my arm. I pulled my arm free of his grasp. “Cut it out.”

  “What?”

  “You know what.” I continued taking notes, and he stayed away from me for the remainder of the movie. When the credits rolled, I packed up without a word and walked out.

  “Sophia,” he called.

  But I kept walking, knowing he had to return the movies to the counter and pack up. That gave me a head start. I hurried through the deserted floor toward the elevator, pressing the button and impatiently waiting for it to arrive.

  I heard footsteps behind me and realized I’d failed to elude him.

  “What are you doing?” Chase asked, his hands gripping the straps on his backpack.

  “You know what I’m doing.”

  He released one of his straps and slipped his hand into mine.

  My eyes shot down to where his big hand was linked with mine. I clenched my teeth. “Let go.”

  He shook his head as I tried releasing my hand.

  “So, it’s been you all along?” I said.

  “What?”

  “The one I need to be careful of.”

  He scoffed, before leading me away from the elevator.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I asked, trying to resist him but he was too strong.

  He said nothing.

  My eyes shot around. There was no one around to help me if I screamed. I’d seen enough movies to know you never go to a second location with your kidnapper.

  He moved us through the high shelves filled with old books until we were in a deserted corner of the library.

  My heartbeat thrashed as he backed me into a wall, my backpack softening the hard wall behind me. His hands landed on the wall above me and he kept me still with the weight of his body.

  �
��You are the most infuriating girl I’ve ever met,” he said, his blue eyes staring into mine.

  As nervous as I felt, I wouldn’t let him see my fear. “Then let me go and you never have to see me again.”

  “Oh, I wish it were that simple.”

  I swallowed around the lump that had shot to my throat.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you, Soph.”

  My eyes widened.

  “And it’s driving me fucking crazy.”

  I said nothing, unable to peel my eyes away from his. How had he gone from kidnapping me to confessing his feelings for me?

  “And the fact that Chantel showed up at my place Sunday night pissed me the hell off because I knew she’d make it known before I had a chance to explain to you.”

  “You have nothing to explain.”

  “I sent her away. I’m guessing she didn’t tell you that.”

  I blinked, not knowing what to make of it. Who was lying? Chantel or Chase? “It doesn’t matter. You and me, we’re nothing to each other.”

  “Keep telling yourself that.”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out.

  He shifted his hips so his very pronounced erection pressed against me. “I am perpetually hard whenever you’re around. You invade my thoughts no matter what I’m doing. And, I keep trying to find reasons to be around you.”

  “You don’t even like me,” I countered.

  He ignored my words. “Your smart mouth and witty comebacks keep me on my toes, and I can’t wait to hear what’s coming next.”

  “I don’t even like you,” I continued.

  “And the fact that you’re trying to ignore me and make me jealous with Ryan is eating away at me.”

  “What does that even mean?” I asked, at a complete loss over what was happening.

  He lowered his hands and cupped my cheeks. They were warm and shockingly gentle. “That means I’m gonna kiss the fuck out of you right now.”

  My breath hitched as his mouth descended on mine. His tongue licked across my lips and, as much as I wanted to fight it, my body betrayed me and I let him in. My arms wrapped around his shoulders as my tongue tangled with his. I arched into him and I couldn’t stop. This was a fight of wills. And neither of us was giving up. His hands drifted from my cheeks, down my sides, and around to my ass. Shamelessly, I rubbed against him. He groaned into my mouth. When we couldn’t get close enough, he picked me up and my legs wrapped around his hips. He twisted us around and slammed my back into a shelf of books. The sound of books falling to the floor echoed around us. We laughed into each other’s mouths, but neither of us pulled apart. My fingers tunneled into the back of his hair as I controlled the kiss—the best freaking kiss I’d ever had.

  “The library is closing in five minutes,” a librarian announced over the speaker system. “Please gather your belongings and exit now.”

  Chase pulled out of the kiss first, leaving my lips deliciously numb. His forehead dropped to mine as our chests heaved in tandem. “Holy. Shit.”

  His response elicited fluttering in my belly, but my brain warned me—like bellowing sirens going off in my head—to slow down. “Now that you got that out of your system, can I go?”

  He lifted his head so he could see my face. “Are you serious? Because from where I’m standing with your ass in my hands and a hard-on for days, I’d say we’re just getting started.”

  I closed my eyes, having no words for what he’d just said. It was all so freaking confusing. I hated him. And he hated me. So, why was the kiss so amazing? “It’s gonna look a little strange to walk out like this,” I said. “So, I think you need to put me down.”

  His low chuckle sent crazy vibrations through my nerve endings as he lowered me to my feet. “Come on.” He grabbed hold of my hand and linked our fingers as we walked through the stacks toward the elevator. “Let me walk you home.”

  The word home created a giant cavern in my chest. I lived with Chantel. “I’ll be fine.”

  He growled. “Why must you fight me?”

  “Why must you act like my bodyguard?”

  “Oh, I’d gladly guard your body,” he said, stopping us at the elevator and kissing me again.

  I released his hand and pushed him back. “Not here.”

  His brows dipped as I pressed the button for the elevator.

  “I live with Chantel.”

  “I’ve been honest with her. She’s the one who doesn’t understand that we’re not together.”

  “Well, this,” I motioned between us, “Is not going any further until she knows in no uncertain terms that you two are not together nor will you ever be together.”

  “I’ve tried.”

  I cocked my head. “No, you’ve sent her mixed messages.”

  He inhaled deeply as the elevator arrived and we stepped inside. “It’s complicated.”

  “Then explain it to me.”

  I watched the internal battle play out in his eyes. “I can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “I will tell you. I just need time.”

  “Take all the time you need. But until then…” I motioned between us again. “This can’t happen.”

  His lips twisted regrettably as the elevator came to a stop and we walked out of the library. We stayed silent after that, both of us with our own thoughts.

  Fifty yards or so away from my dorm, I stopped. “I can make it from here.”

  He nodded, understanding my concern. “Thanks for showing up tonight. I really didn’t think you would.”

  “It was the right thing to do.”

  He nodded, and I could see he hoped our night would end a little more exciting. But he had a girl who thought she was his girlfriend. The same one who would not take the news that I was spending time with her “boyfriend” very well.

  I turned away from him, but he grabbed my wrist, pulling me back into his chest. He ducked his head and captured my lips with his. My knees went weak beneath me, but I’d been serious. This couldn’t happen like this.

  I pulled back from the kiss, my chest heaving from the unexpected intrusion. I leveled Chase with my eyes, showing I was pissed by the reckless move, but he just smirked as he released my arm.

  I twisted away from him, my eyes shooting around and making sure no one was around. I hurried toward the front door of the dorm without another word. I pulled out my ID to scan, but noise nearby caught my attention. It sounded like crying. I looked to the left, where the sound was coming from, and peered into the darkness.

  A small silhouette of a girl with her knees tucked up and her arms wrapped around them on the grass against the building came into focus.

  Please don’t be Chantel. Please tell me she hadn’t seen us.

  I moved closer. “Valerie?”

  Silence.

  My feet carried me even closer. Valerie’s features came into focus. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” she said, her voice so small.

  I stopped in front of her, noting the tears trailing down her cheeks. “What are you doing out here?”

  She shrugged.

  I pulled off my backpack and sat on the grass beside her. “You can talk to me. You know that, right?”

  She nodded, but said nothing.

  “Did someone hurt you?”

  She shrugged.

  “Who?”

  She shook her head.

  “Come inside. You can come to my room.”

  She gasped. “I can’t.”

  Anger clawed at my insides. “Did Chantel do something to you?”

  She shrugged. “Valerie. You need to tell me. You are not her punching bag. I’ve seen the way she speaks to you. You don’t deserve it.”

  “Shhhhh,” she said, her eyes jumping around the darkness as if someone could hear us.

  “You’re scaring me. Please talk to me.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  She shook her head. “I said too much.”

 
; She said too much? She hadn’t said anything.

  She pushed herself to her feet.

  I grabbed my backpack and jumped up, following her to the front door. “What does that mean?”

  She scanned her card and we both walked inside. As we turned the corner for the stairs, Chantel stepped out in front us. Valerie and I both jumped.

  “Oh my God,” I said, nervous laughter tumbling out of me.

  Chantel’s eyes jumped between us. “What are you two doing?”

  “Just taking a walk,” I said.

  Chantel eyed me. “With your backpack?”

  “Oh, I…yup. With my backpack.”

  She glared at Valerie. “What’s wrong with you?”

  Valerie’s eyes widened, and fear—true fear—flashed across her face. “Nothing.”

  “She slipped while we were walking,” I lied. “Bumped her head.”

  “Clumsy me,” Valerie added.

  Chantel stared at us, unsure what to make of us standing there together. “Well, I’m heading to Chase’s. Don’t wait up.” She walked out of the building, and only then did we release our shaky breaths. Valerie for one reason and me for a completely different reason.

  A tightness gripped my chest. Was she really going to Chase’s? Had he called to ask her to come by so he could make it clear once again that they weren’t together? Or had that all been a lie?

  I walked Valerie to her room. Outside her door, she turned to me and threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “Thanks for knowing when to stop asking questions.” She released me.

  “I meant what I said. You can tell me anything.”

  She nodded, before punching in her code and disappearing inside her room.

  I thought moving back to Texas would be easy. But nothing about being at Crestwood had been what I expected.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Chantel’s bed was still made when I woke the next morning. A jealous pit formed in my stomach. Did I have the right to be jealous? Maybe Chase just needed to console her. Or maybe she ended up in one of her sisters’ rooms, needing her friends to console her. I was sure he’d have an explanation when I arrived to History through Film. The problem with that? He never made it to class.

  “Sophia?”