Eighteen Kisses

by Laura Jane Cassidy

  I couldn’t believe she was continuing to deny it.

  ‘Of course you’d say that,’ I replied.

  ‘I’m telling the truth,’ said Hazel, looking straight at me.

  ‘Well then, who was it?’ I moved closer to her. ‘Do you know?’

  ‘Of course I know,’ she said and smiled.

  I tried to think. I was right about the curse, I was right about Barry, but was I wrong about the fact that a couple had been involved in the murder? Had Lauren led me astray? I’d been so sure that she was telling the truth. And then it hit me. I felt sick. Was it possible that I’d just walked straight into Hazel’s trap? That’s why she didn’t want to come forward. She wasn’t covering up for Barry – he was covering up for her.

  Hazel killed Kayla.

  I was in total disbelief. How could she do that? How could she kill her own half-sister? I looked around me, suddenly quite afraid. Nobody knew I was here. I could be in danger. But I needed to know everything that had happened. There would be no point in leaving here and not being able to prove anything. I decided to keep her calm, keep her talking.

  ‘You have her name tattooed on your wrist,’ I said. ‘How can you have the person you murdered tattooed on your wrist?’

  Hazel smirked. ‘I didn’t kill her,’ she said. I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t believe she was actually trying to deny it.

  ‘Seriously,’ she said, signalling for me to have a seat. I ignored her offer. I needed to stay on my feet. In case I had to run.

  ‘I didn’t kill her,’ she said flatly. ‘Libby did.’

  I let out an unconvinced laugh, but she stared back at me so genuinely that I had to sit down. Everything started to slot together in my mind, everything gradually, but definitely becoming clearer. I remembered the first time I’d met Libby, how she’d defended Amy, saying that people shouldn’t blame her. Was she actually defending herself? She was the one who’d given me the necklace in the first place and Matt had been surprised at her willingness. I’d thought it was because she trusted me, but was it actually because she wanted to get rid of me? Had they been planning the attack all along? But why had she done it? Had she really hated Kayla that much? And why was Hazel covering for her?

  ‘She didn’t do it on purpose,’ said Hazel, as if reading my thoughts. ‘The night of the party, Kayla came back from the shop and went straight upstairs. She walked in on Libby rooting through her stuff.’

  ‘So she did come back to the house,’ I said.

  ‘Yeah. Nobody else saw her come in though,’ said Hazel.

  ‘Calum said he thought he saw her… and he wasn’t lying.’

  ‘Calum was hammered; nobody really believed him and he wasn’t even sure himself anyway.’

  ‘Why was Libby going through her stuff?’ I asked.

  ‘She was convinced Kayla had hidden her pills, and she was right.’

  ‘So, what, Libby killed Kayla because she’d hidden her drugs?’

  ‘Kayla hadn’t hidden them out of any sisterly affection,’ said Hazel coldly. ‘She just didn’t want Libby getting off her face, or offering them to any of her angelic friends. Just because Kayla didn’t agree with it didn’t mean she had the right to control everybody else. Libby worked hard; she deserved to let loose once in a while. Anyway, Libby found them hidden in Kayla’s room and went mental. And she told Kayla to stay away from her boyfriend too, that she obviously liked him, but that he wasn’t interested and it just made Kayla look pathetic. Everybody knew Rob liked Kayla, and it tore Libby apart. And then Kayla said something like, “I don’t want to steal him, but I could if I wanted to.” And she pushed past Libby to get to her mirror. That was too much. Libby just snapped; she pushed Kayla back too hard and she went tumbling down the stairs. Libby said she could hear the crack of her neck as she hit the floor. She wanted to call for somebody, she wanted to explain what had happened, but she said her body just shut down and she wasn’t able to cope with the situation. The guilt was too much and she wasn’t able to move. That can happen – you just completely go into shock. I went upstairs to go to the bathroom and found Libby hunched over on the floor, facing away from Kayla and just muttering, “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” I knew before I touched Kayla that she was dead; I could sense it. She wasn’t breathing; she was definitely gone and there was nothing I could do for her. I looked at Libby, and I was about to call an ambulance, but then I could hear my mum’s voice in my head: “Take care of your little sister.” And I guess this sort of weird protective urge kicked in, and I knew I could do something. I knew Libby’s life didn’t have to be ruined. She could claim it was an accident or self-defence or whatever, but everybody knew they hated each other. Libby wanted to be a doctor; she couldn’t get a criminal record. Kayla was already dead, there was nothing I could do for her, but I could save Libby.’

  ‘Your mother wouldn’t have wanted you to lie,’ I said.

  ‘You don’t have any siblings, do you?’ she asked. I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to tell her that my mum was expecting a baby, that I was going to have a little brother or sister. I didn’t want her to know something like that.

  ‘If you did, you might be able to understand.’

  ‘I know I wouldn’t help cover up something like this.’

  ‘Really?’ she said. ‘We’d all like to think we’d do the right thing, but I don’t think you can be sure what you’d do until the time comes to make the decision. It’s easy for you to sit there and judge me and tell me what I should have done. Do you not think I deeply regret everything that’s happened? Of course I do. Of course I see Kayla’s face every time I close my eyes; of course I think I hear her speak to me in that house when I’m trying to sleep. But it’s done now. I made a decision and I have to deal with it. And I still think Libby is better off this way. I still think it was the right choice.’

  In a way I felt sorry for Libby. She was living with this horrible guilt and secrecy, but she didn’t have to. It had been Hazel’s idea to cover it up, not Libby’s. She’d only gone along with it. Hazel had convinced her to do it – and she’d convinced Barry to bury Kayla.

  ‘And you didn’t mind dragging your boyfriend into it too?’ I said.

  Hazel smiled.

  ‘Barry’s in the army,’ she said. ‘He’s seen a lot worse than that. I knew I couldn’t get rid of the body by myself, and Libby was in no state to help me. It was difficult to think, what with all the noise coming from downstairs, but I came up with a plan. I told Libby to put some make-up on and go downstairs and act like nothing was wrong. If she was gone much longer, people would start to get suspicious. I told her that the first few hours would be the worst, that once she got past them she’d be able to cope. Because I figured once you go far enough into a lie you’re too scared to go back anyway. She was hysterical, but I kept telling her to calm down and not to tell anyone. It was really important not to tell anyone.

  ‘Those initial hours were the worst. I knew if I could get her through them then everything would be all right. It took me a while, but I eventually calmed her down. I explained the situation to Barry – it took a bit of convincing, but he’s so in love with me that he agreed. I reminded him that he told me he’d do anything for me, and that I’d owe him so much if he did this. I knew I could trust him to keep a secret. I didn’t want to get rid of the body that night because I knew we’d have to find somewhere really remote. So we put her in a black bin bag and hid her in Barry’s garage. I kept watch while he was moving her. Nobody noticed. I asked him to cut up the body – I wanted to hide it in different places so it would be harder to find, and he tried, but he only barely cut her arm before he gave up. He wasn’t able to do it; he wasn’t as strong as I’d thought. That nearly broke him – he was going to call the guards then.’

  I looked down at the faded scratch on my arm that ran right round my elbow and I felt disgust rise inside me.

  ‘Why didn’t you do it yourself?’ I said. ‘If you wanted her cut up, why didn’t you do
it?’

  ‘You think I couldn’t have, don’t you? You think I’m a coward.’

  I didn’t answer. I didn’t think she was a coward – I was afraid of what she was capable of. She was clearly completely unstable and dangerous.

  ‘I could have,’ she said. ‘But you see, so far, I hadn’t done anything. I didn’t want Libby to go to jail, but I sure as hell wasn’t going in her place. I could have buried Kayla myself, but I wanted Barry to do it. I told him I’d do anything. I think he liked that. I don’t think he ever felt like he was in control in our relationship, and this gave him the dominance he wanted. It all just worked out. Libby and I, we acted like everything was normal, and we pretended to be worried about her just like everybody else. And it got easier with time. That serial killer was going around abducting women, conveniently enough, and people just jumped to that conclusion. Nobody suspected any of us.’

  ‘Detective Sergeant Lawlor did,’ I said.

  ‘Yes, well, he’s special, isn’t he? Very special, in fact,’ she smirked.

  I ignored her. I couldn’t believe she was being so obnoxious while confessing to what she’d done.

  ‘Do… Anna and your father know?’ I asked. I couldn’t imagine they’d help cover for them like this, but I guessed anything was possible.

  ‘No. I’ve thought about telling Dad, but he’s too in love with Anna. He’d want to tell her. The only people who know are me, Libby and Barry. And you. That’s it. Barry won’t tell anybody. He knows he’d go to jail.

  ‘It feels good to tell somebody all this,’ Hazel added with a sigh. ‘I’ve been holding it in for so long.’

  ‘I’m glad you told me,’ I said, starting to back away. I had all the information I came for. ‘It must be a relief to get it off your chest. And when we tell the guards that will be an even bigger relief. Libby is a nervous wreck – she needs to tell somebody.’

  ‘Libby was fine before all this was dragged up. And she’ll be fine again, now that everything has been taken care of.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘This isn’t getting out,’ said Hazel, walking over to the door and locking it. I was starting to feel kind of scared now. I was ready for a fight, but I had no idea what this girl might try to do.

  ‘Detective Sergeant Lawlor’s outside,’ I said confidently.

  She laughed. ‘Sure he is. Don’t worry though, I’m not going to hurt you. Take a seat – I have something you might like to see.’

  I decided to stay. I wanted to see, I wanted to know.

  Hazel walked behind the bar and re-emerged with a laptop. She opened it up.

  What was she going to show me? I wondered. I had no idea.

  Hazel switched on the laptop and waited for it to power up.

  ‘Mum asked me to take care of Libby,’ she said, staring at it.

  ‘She said, “Hazel, please look after your sister. Keep her safe, no matter what it takes.”’

  She opened the photo application and clicked on one photo so that it zoomed out, taking up the entire screen. It was a picture of Hazel kissing some guy.

  ‘Why are you showing me th-’ I suddenly recognized who it was… Matt Lawlor. Detective Sergeant Lawlor.

  ‘I don’t think Matt’d like his boss to see this,’ she said. ‘Or his partner, for that matter.’

  Oh my god. What had he done? I couldn’t believe it. No wonder Matt had wanted me on the case. It wasn’t only my ability to communicate with the dead that he needed – he knew he’d compromised the integrity of the investigation and he needed someone untainted – like me – to finish what he had started. I thought back to how he’d seemed reluctant to commit to any further cases. He’d said, ‘We’ll see what happens.’ He must have known this might come out. He knew that this might mean the end of his career if Hazel decided to blackmail him.

  ‘You won’t get away with it,’ I said.

  ‘The case has been jeopardized,’ said Hazel. ‘I’m sure the police will agree to step back on the condition that I keep this under wraps.’

  ‘No. Detective Sergeant Lawlor -’ I stopped. I didn’t want Hazel knowing Matt was probably prepared to sacrifice himself for the good of this investigation. I needed her to think she was going to get away with it.

  ‘If this gets out, the case is jeopardized and Matt loses his job. If this doesn’t get out, the case still doesn’t get solved, but Matt doesn’t lose his job. Everybody wins.’

  I was getting angrier by the second.

  ‘This was a last resort, of course,’ she said. ‘But you just wouldn’t go away. I did what I needed to do. Anyone would have done the same.’ She pointed to the photo, her sleeve falling back, exposing her tattoo. ‘I got there in the end.’

  ‘You have her name on your arm,’ I said again in disbelief.

  ‘I still love her, you know. But I love Libby more.’

  I couldn’t believe she’d done this. With Amy and Lauren, there was panic in their voices, and regret. Sure, they’d done deceitful things, but they were ashamed. Hazel just stood there with this smug look on her face. I know she wanted to protect her sister, but I think she enjoyed doing it. I think she got some sort of sick thrill out of this, ripping apart people’s lives and watching the world decay around her. She must have seen what this did to Amy, what it did to Lauren. She’d handed me that necklace, knowing it could have killed me.

  ‘I’m going to get away with this, Jacki. You just have to accept it. I know it’s frustrating. Here, take a copy,’ she said, ejecting the disc and handing it to me. ‘I’ve got plenty.’

  I took it from her and then I flung it across the floor. I wanted to pick up the laptop and fling it across the floor too. I wanted to scream and tear the frames off the walls, smash her perfectly constructed face in, but what was the point?

  ‘Open the door,’ I said.

  She swung it open lazily. ‘I’m sorry it had to end like this. But I had no choice.’

  ‘You’re not sorry.’

  ‘No, you’re right. Perhaps I will be in the next life,’ said Hazel as I walked away. ‘But not in this one.’

  Chapter 25

  That night I went to sleep in my bed at Gran’s, but I didn’t dream about the car and the Polaroid camera and the barbed-wire fence. Instead I saw what happened to Kayla.

  I watched her go into her room. Libby was bending down on the floor beside the doll’s house, its tiny wooden furniture all sprawled across the carpet. She was wearing a tight black dress and her hair was styled in loose curls. Her shoes were silver and sky high. She turned round and held up a small plastic packet of pills.

  ‘I knew you hid them,’ she said. ‘What the hell is your problem?’

  ‘You shouldn’t take those,’ said Kayla, sounding upset. ‘You don’t need to.’

  ‘What I don’t need is you poking around in my business,’ said Libby, standing up and adjusting her dress. ‘Stay out of it! And stay away from Rob too. Stop flirting with him. It just makes you look pathetic; you’re never going to have him.’

  ‘I wasn’t flirting with him,’ said Kayla. ‘I told him ages ago that I wasn’t interested. I don’t like him at all.’

  ‘You’re a liar,’ said Libby.

  ‘I don’t want to talk about this any more,’ said Kayla, pushing past Libby to get to her mirror. ‘I don’t want to steal him, but just so you know, I could if I wanted to.’

  Libby shoved her hard. Kayla was unsteady on her stilettos, then she stumbled backwards. Libby suddenly looked scared and reached out her hand to try and grab Kayla, but it was too late. She went toppling down the spiral staircase. Then I heard a crack.

  ‘Oh my god,’ whispered Libby in horror.

  She rushed down after Kayla, holding on to both banisters to steady herself.

  ‘Kayla, are you OK?’ she asked frantically. She shook her, but Kayla didn’t move. Libby hunched down on the ground and just kept muttering, ‘Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.’

  I could see Hazel walking down the c
orridor towards them. She was wearing ripped black jeans, a purple top and black leather ankle boots. She spotted Libby first.

  ‘Get up, you drunken mess,’ she said with a laugh, but stopped dead when she saw Kayla. She hurried over and knelt beside her, the colour draining slowly from her face.

  ‘What did you do?’ said Hazel.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ whimpered Libby. ‘It was an accident. I didn’t mean to -’

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘I… I pushed her,’ she said, ‘… down the stairs.’

  Hazel’s eyes widened.

  ‘We were having a fight because I was in her room. She pushed me first, but I… I pushed her too hard. I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry.’

  ‘Did anybody else see this?’ asked Hazel.

  ‘No,’ said Libby.

  Hazel grabbed Kayla’s arms and dragged her body into one of the bedrooms. Then she came back out, closing the door quietly behind her.

  ‘Go into your room, fix your make-up and pretend nothing happened,’ she said. ‘Do you hear me?’

  ‘What are you talking about?’ said Libby, suddenly snapping out of her trance. ‘We have to call an ambulance.’

  ‘She’s dead, Libby.’

  ‘No… she, she can’t be, we need to call an ambulance!’

  ‘I told Mum I’d look after you,’ said Hazel. ‘Do you want to go to jail?’

  ‘Hazel, we have to call somebody!’

  ‘Libby, do you want to go to jail?’

  ‘No,’ she sobbed.

  ‘Then go put on your make-up.’

  The scene quickly changed and then rain was crashing against the windscreen. A guy was driving and Hazel was sitting in the passenger seat.

  ‘Here?’ he said.

  ‘No. It has to be somewhere really secluded.’

  ‘Do you think anybody saw us?’

  ‘Nobody saw us. Can we just concentrate on finding a place to bury her?’

  There was silence then, apart from the weather report on the radio, forecasting more rain.

  ‘Do you even know where we’re going?’ he said.

  ‘Away from any houses.’