How to Date Japanese Idols (The Tenshi Series)

by Cilia Jaspers

  She carried their drinks back on a tray. As she neared the table and sat the tray down, he removed their cups and grabbed the tray to take it to the pick-up area. She heard him mumble “Yoshi” as he sat back down.

  They sipped their drinks and blew air on hot mugs. Smiling, awkward, but somehow entertained by it, they would make eye contact. She giggled first. Then he giggled, too, his little high-pitched laugh spreading his lips over his teeth in a smile he tried to hold in.

  He shook his head at a now familiar angle, as though he couldn’t believe something. They went back to sipping their drinks, a way to hold in smiles they didn’t quite understand, not daring to look at each other for more than a moment at a time, but each time they looked up their smiles grew warmer, calmer, more sure.

  “I brought you something,” he finally said, putting down his coffee and reaching beside his chair for the bag sitting there. He pulled out a small, plastic bag with two apples in it. “I wanted to bring you something to apologize for last time. I didn’t know what to bring, but I knew you wouldn’t like anything too flashy or ostentatious. And these make you healthy. Give you energy. So . . .”

  She laughed as a riot of symbols and interpretations occurred to her: in Korea an apple was a sign of apology; in Japan families and lovers peeled apples for their ailing; and, of course, there was all that mess with Eve.

  “You don’t like them?” he asked shocked and almost laughing, willing to join her in the joke although he probably didn’t understand it.

  “No, I mean, yes, I like apples. I just...I’m wondering if you’re giving me apples to tempt me or to give me stamina."

  “Stamina?” he asked confused.

  “You know, the energy you need to—”

  He cut her off, “No. No. Not for stamina. For health.” He put the apples down on the table between them, putting his hands over his face. He put his hands under his low bangs and his hat, covering his eyes. When he pulled down his hands, she new he was nervous, maybe even sweating, as he looked at his fingertips.

  “I didn’t mean anything when I asked that, but...it’s ok if it’s for stamina,” she said, blushing, looking away, pulling her lips down and to the side, to keep the smile in.

  “Yeah?” he asked, but she didn’t answer and she couldn’t look at him.

  So, she just nodded.

  “Be right back.” He jumped up and approached the counter, getting the attention of, the person behind the espresso station. He was speaking to someone, but they were shaking their head, confused. Gakino started to gesture, but from where she was sitting, she couldn’t see what he was saying. The guy finally nodded his head, apparently understanding. Gakino turned around to face her, and gave her two thumbs up and a radiant, too-excited smile. Then he tucked his hands in his back pockets and turned back to wait. The guy returned from the back with a small plate, a knife, and a fork.

  Gakino sat down, pulling the apples toward him and pushing his coffee cup out of the way,.He looked at the apples with focus. Grabbing one out of the bag, he used the knife to slowly cut away the skin. Trying to make one long peel, he cut slowly, round and round and round, until the white flesh was exposed. Then he sat it on the plate and cut it into slices. Stabbing the fork into a slice, he held it out for her. Taking the fork in her hand, she nibbled at the apple, afraid to talk, to break whatever spell he was casting. She didn’t want to think too much or spoil what was happening. As she ate, he started work on the others.

  When she finished, she put a slice on the fork and tried to hand it to him, so that he could eat the next piece, but he just pushed it back at her.

  “Eat. Eat. Keep eating until you’re finished. I’ll have whatever is left.”

  So she ate. She ate past the point of fullness, not wanting to seem ungrateful. Plus, if she ate, she couldn’t talk and she had no idea what to say, especially when he seemed content to sit watching her eat apples. When she finished, she finally put a slice on a fork and handed it to him. He took it, seriously, bowing his head a little in acceptance, eating the apples that remained.

  When he finished, he asked “Are you ready?”

  She nodded her head yes, though she wasn’t sure what she was saying yes to. He nodded and, standing, took her hand in his and led her out.

  *

  Gakino had spent the first half of the time they’d been at the coffee shop wondering how they were going to navigate the small distance between them and come together again after their time apart. The second half of the time they’d been at the coffee shop he hadn’t done much thinking at all beyond figuring out how to keep her eating the apple and the immediate actions he’d take after she was finished.

  They were on her scooter, and he was driving. Though he knew she liked to drive, this time, she had seemed completely content when he’d held out his hand for the keys. They didn’t seem to need words much today. The distance had neatly been closed, maybe even before they’d met at the coffee shop.

  The drive wasn’t long to her apartment, but it felt like he hit every red light possible. Eloise had slowly and easily gone from resting her arms on her own legs to leaning forward ever so slightly to rest them against his sides. She wasn’t hugging him exactly, or even holding on, she was just close. It was comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.

  Without a word, he pulled up to her apartment building and parked. He leaned the scooter ever-so-slightly to the side so that she could swing herself easily to the ground, and he pulled the scooter up on its prop.

  Then, he looked at Eloise. She looked right back at him. Neither one of them seemed to have any doubts about this right now. Eloise smiled. He smiled back. He held out his hand. She took it.

  As they went through the lobby of her building, Eloise leading the way, he remembered to wave to the guard at the desk as he said hello. Then he remembered to punch in the elevator button for her floor. He even remembered to look around as she led him onto her floor and to her door.

  Very simply, she unlocked her door and led him inside.

  He set his bag down next to the door, and easily came to stand as close as he could in front of her without touching her. This had to be her choice. As much as he wanted to, she had to be the one to make this decision.

  “Gakino?” She seemed to answer the question he hadn’t asked simply by saying his name with a voice he had never heard from her before. It was soft, simple, and vulnerable. He reached for the buttons on her shirt.

  *

  Gakino stood in front of her. His breath tickled the hair on her forehead. She looked at his chin, his lips. She looked down and tried to take a covert breath of air. His long, strong fingers were slipping the buttons of her shirt slowly out of their loops. The tips of his fingers grazed her collarbone. Then, the edge of her bra. Then, the very top of her stomach. The air seemed harder to get into her lungs and she looked past his hands to his shoes. His All-Stars framed hers in a vee, The sight of his feet around hers and the feel of his hands on her clothes, opening her clothes to expose her to him, sent her into full blown suffocation mode. This wasn’t just any man. This was Gakino, an idol. The man who made millions of people smile just by laughing. And he was with her in her home. And he was standing so close to her, she could smell apple on his shirt.

  “Are you okay?” Gakino’s fingers had paused in unbuttoning her shirt, one of his knuckles rested just above her bellybutton, and even through the shirt it felt too real.

  Eloise realized her breathing had become shallow and rapid. She was having a panic attack and her shirt wasn’t even off yet. But how could she not? She was here with Tenshi’s Gakino. How was that even possible? How was it even okay?

  “I’m...fine.” Her words stuttered out with the pulsing rhythm of her breathing. She couldn’t look up at him.

  His fingers flipped the last button open, but instead of pushing the shirt off of her, Gakino’s long fingers rose to her face, lifting her chin lightly. He looked into her eyes, one side of his mouth quirking up into smile. His t
humbs rubbed the edge of her lips lightly. He extended his fingers and slid them slowly, his thumbs running along her jawline, back into her hair. They tangled in the curls and Eloise felt him tug slightly.

  “Uh oh.” The other side of his mouth quirked up to match and make a full smile.

  “What?”

  “I’m stuck. You’ll have to help me.”

  “Gakino…”

  “It will be easier if you start with your shirt.”

  And like that, Eloise smiled at his silliness. His game of pretend seemed to ease the air slowly back into her, and eased her shirt off of her shoulders and arms onto the floor.

  She kept looking in his eyes as she slid her jeans off, too. Her underwear left, Eloise moved to his clothes. His pupils got bigger and his smile slipped a little when she grabbed for his belt buckle. With one hand, she grabbed the band of his pants, her fingers pressed against his flat, warm stomach, and her thumb pushing against the metal of the buckle. With the other hand, she slipped the buckle free and exposed the button and zipper on his jeans. She couldn’t help the slightly embarrassed smile on her face as she looked up at him.

  “Gaki?”

  “Eh?”

  “Take your shirt off.”

  Then, just because she could, Eloise undid his pants and pulled him abruptly to her, the slight breath of air between them ending with the slide of his pants to the floor and the skin of his thighs meeting hers. She gasped at the feel of it, and then again because Gakino had already pulled his hands out of her hair and was trying to keep one arm wrapped around her back as they both fell to the bed and he ripped his shirt up.

  She was perched on top of him, her bare thighs bracing his, the coarse hair making sure she knew exactly how different their bodies were. Her hands rested on either side of his chest. She was eye to eye with him, her hair falling to brush his biceps. One of his hands was on her back, the fingers spread wide so that she could feel the shape of each individual one. They were both breathing heavily now.

  “El-chan?”

  “Huh?”

  “Is the apple working?”

  Eloise laughed. “Yeah.”

  She jumped a little with surprise when the latch on her bra suddenly gave way and the hand on her back drew the straps off of her shoulders. His other hand was just as busy pulling her head down for a kiss. The weight of her own body pulled her into him until she eased forward, her chest resting against his, her lips hovering just above his. Gakino made a rough noise in his throat before he pushed his head up to pull at her lips with his. His mouth was sealed to hers, and now her hands were the ones buried in his hair, holding his head in place. Both of his hands wandered across her back until they parted ways, one falling to the back of her thigh, the tender skin prickling at the strange, but gentle touch. His other hand barely touched her, his fingers trailing along her spine and back up again. The hair on her neck begged for his touch each time his fingers got near, but it was only ever the torture of wanting.

  In frustration, Eloise tried to get closer to Gakino. She pulled her hands from his hair and ran them down his sides near his waist. She pulled her body away from him, their lips still connected, so she could run her hands back up his stomach to his shoulders. She couldn’t help the groan that broke from her throat as their lips separated and Gakino’s fingers dug into the skin on her thigh and back.

  “Please. Just keep doing what you‘re doing. . .”

  Gakino had been torturing himself, trying not to scare Eloise away from him with his desperate passion for her, but at her words, he lost the ability to control himself. The desperation burned in his stomach like the feel of her hands on his skin. Quickly, he moved both hands to the backs of her thighs and grasped them tightly. He smiled tightly at her just before he flipped her and changed their positions. She squeaked in surprise, the movement cutting off the sound when her back landed with a bounce on the bed.

  He was glad she didn’t seem inclined to have a lengthy discussion because, at the moment, he was beyond the ability to speak a second language or even a first one. All bets were off and he quickly rid his own body of the rest of his clothes. Eloise had kept her hold on his shoulders, her fingers digging into his shoulder blades. He turned his head to the side and kissed the inside of her wrist where it met the curve of her thumb. Then he was too distracted by following the kisses down in a line to her neck to worry much about her hold on him. She didn’t resist him. If anything, she pulled him impatiently where he was already going. His back was tight with tension and his muscles all over cramped with the desire to move.

  So he did. His hands wandered to clasp her hips as his mouth wandered to press against the underside of her jaw. He heard her breath catch. He was glad she at least had the air he didn’t seem to have. For just a moment, he rested his forehead against her shoulder. For just a moment, he breathed deeply to calm himself. But, now, there was no calm. He pulled her hips to his.

  He met her eyes and gave his body to her.

  Eloise pulled Gakino as tightly to her as she could. When his head had met her shoulder, she had reveled in the feel of his silky hair against her cheek and chin. His lips were pressed up against her neck and she knew she would feel them there for the rest of her life. She would feel his hands on her hips, their shape tattooed on her senses.

  When he joined them together, the dam broke for both of them. Eloise, for this moment, claimed him completely for herself. She wrapped her legs around his, and her arms circled over his back and under his arms to pull at his shoulders from behind. His own arms bent so that his forearms rested next to her head and then he was kissing her.

  She knew she should probably notice how beautiful he was. She knew she should think about the dampness of both of their skin sliding against the other’s. She knew she should think about who she held inside her, but, for now, all she thought about was just how it felt to have his skin on hers. All she thought about was how still she felt inside even as her body felt like it was breaking apart.

  He lifted his face to meet her eyes and, just like that, they both knew, without words, that his body was hers and hers was his.

  CHAPTER 11

  Squinting at the early morning light, Eloise woke up to Gakino moving around under the covers. She’d fallen into an exhausted sleep sometime after three, but even in February, Taiwanese dawn came early, so she’d probably rested only a handful of hours. At first, she was too groggy with sleep to understand what had woken her. Then she remembered.

  Gakino Yoh was in her bed.

  She squeezed her eyes shut and reminded herself to breathe normally. It was difficult.

  Gakino Yoh had spent the night in her bed and was, it seemed, rather curious about her.

  Hazy with sleep, she felt Gakino run both his hands down her stomach. Searching for any sign of censure, she felt only Gakino’s interest, his hands lightly grazing her skin. Last night he’d complained that she hadn’t let him turn on all the lights, but he was exploring at his leisure now. He brushed his thumb lightly along the side of her breast, and her stomach tightened with a mix of embarrassment and desire.

  She reminded herself, again, to breathe.

  He pressed a kiss on her shoulder and then, pushing his hand into her hair, he ran strands of it through his fingers. Over and over. After a while, she relaxed, her body loose, his hands in her hair nearly putting her to sleep.

  Her body shifted as Gakino moved again, leaning above her to fan her hair in a halo around her face. Then he bent to give her lips a soft kiss.

  Moving back, he traced her lips with a finger. Then he moved his hand over her skin, slowly marking her face, her neck, her sternum, her stomach. He circled her belly button and then bent to kiss her there.

  But he still didn’t settle. He grabbed her leg behind the knee, pulling it slowly up so that it rested against his hip. His hand widened as he inched his palm up her thigh. She heard his sharp inhalation, and the bed moved with his deep breathing.

  He mumbled something she cou
ldn’t hear and slowly returned her leg to rest on the bed. Grabbing one of her hands, he started tracing patterns over her palm, her knuckles, and fingers. She felt his weight settle on the bed beside her, the side of her body growing warm from the contact, as he , folded her hand in his and kissed the back.

  After several minutes, he set her hand softly down and left her side, flipping around until he faced the foot of the bed. He was trying to let her sleep, but, as usual, he couldn’t keep himself still, and each time he moved, she was bumped around a little. She wondered vaguely about his intentions, until he started playing with her toes. He was careful to move quietly, slowly, and under the covers.

  Growing gradually more awake and more concerned that Gakino knew she wasn’t sleeping and was just seeing how far he could take his exploration before she called his bluff, she said croakily, “What are you doing?”

  “Ano…Well…I am seeing what you’re made of?” he asked, trying to sound sure and failing, his last words rising high in a question. Clearly, she’d taken him by surprise.

  “What?”

  “You should get under here, too! It’s fun!” he called out.

  As he tossed the light sheet over her head, she decided she’d allow the misdirection.

  Under the white sheet, Gakino looked like one of the angels his band was named after, his skin warm gold, and his whole body covered with morning light. He smiled in their little cloud world, young, innocent, and slightly mischievous, an angel gone awry. She smiled back, sleepy as she was. He laughed.

  “Your laugh is different,” she mumbled. “Normally, it’s higher, a little happier.”

  “Yeah?” he asked, resting on his side, laying his head and neck on a wide palm. “That laugh is joy. This one is bliss.”

  “Your voice is deeper, too. A lot deeper.”

  “It’s morning. You’re hearing my morning voice.”

  She blushed and covered her face.

  “And, in return, I get a morning blush.”