How to Date Japanese Idols (The Tenshi Series)

by Cilia Jaspers

  She wanted to tell him that she never grew hot or cold, not really. If he knew her better, he’d know that the more she pushed, the more she wanted to be reassured. When she pushed, she wanted to be held, pulled into his arms and into the inescapable orbit that was his company. But she couldn’t tell him that, especially when she wasn’t sure if he felt the same.

  "You’re break’s coming up soon, right? Will you come?" he asked again.

  "Yes, sure. Of course."

  “So, Eloise-san. What do you like most about Tenshi’s Yoh Gakino-kun?” he asked, excited, smiling, probably knowing her answer without her saying it.

  Eloise laughed, “What?”

  “That’s one of the questions I’m going to be interested in hearing the press ask.”

  Her palms grew damp. “I think I’m going to get to those dishes now.” Withdrawing, she placed both feet on the ground and stood.

  Catching her around the waist, Gakino tugged her back down. “Don’t go. I’ve decided how I want to celebrate.” Stretching out along the sofa, he made room for her beside him. “Come here.”

  She laid down beside him. As they settled down, he pulled her arms around his waist and circled her with his own.

  “Let’s just stay like this.”

  Hearing something strange in his voice, she pulled back and saw that his eyes were closed. She waited for him to smile or laugh or make a joke. The past few weeks whenever they were alone—and sometimes when they weren’t— Gakino was always threatening to pull her off into darkened corners, teasing her and pushing her boundaries. Even if he wanted to spend the afternoon cuddled up on the couch, he wasn’t usually this reserved.

  Rubbing her hands along his back, she felt the tension in his muscles.

  “That feels good,” he whispered.

  “Gakino, is everything ok?”

  He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and pulled her more tightly against him, but said nothing. She touched her lips to the pulse at his neck. “When we’re this still I can feel your heart beat,” she whispered.

  He made a soft sound of appreciation in his throat and tangled their legs together.

  “Gakino?”

  “Hmm?”

  Her hair brushed along his jaw as she glanced up and took in the circles under his eyes and the way his lips were tight even while lifted in a small smile.

  “When they ask what I like most, I’ll tell them everything.”

  “And if they ask for something specific, will you have pity on them and give them a detail or two?” His mouth curled into a rueful little smile. “Some people like to know just what appeals and what doesn’t.”

  “I’ll insist that a good woman doesn’t pick and choose.” She swallowed and added, “Not when she’s in love.”

  Gakino’s eyes snapped open and his lips stretched over a wide grin. His smile grew until his mouth was slightly open. He looked giddy and slightly awed. “I love you, too, Eloise.”

  “That’s only fair,” she mumbled, ducking under his chin.

  She felt his stomach and chest move once with silent laughter.

  “That TV drama’s got nothing on us, Eloise.”

  “Gakino, give me a kiss and be quiet, ok?”

  “What man can resist the call of the women he loves?” he whispered, his mouth hovering over hers.

  Reaching up, she took his lips with her own.

  *

  Gakino hummed to himself as he went through the choreography again. He was standing on the sound stage for Tenshi’s new music video, during another seemingly infinite period of waiting. They’d been told to break on set because the halt in shooting would be a short one. It was supposed to be a small lighting change, but they’d been stopped for about twenty minutes. Hiro had given up waiting and was sitting with his legs stretched out, nestled in one of the set corners, nearly napping. Shun was standing near a fan they’d put up to cool the room, holding hair off his neck. Sano was checking something on his cell. When Gakino glanced at Ryo, he saw him standing by a snack table, talking to the AD.

  Gakino welcomed the break. He’d missed the practice last night because he had stayed an extra day with Eloise, so he needed the time to run it all through. Counting off in his head, he moved his body in small mimic motions, hoping he’d get everything right the next take. So far, he hadn’t been holding up shooting, and he wanted to keep it that way.

  There it was again. He stopped moving and ran a hand through his hair, looking up and around. Every few minutes he felt something fly by. At first he dismissed it, but it kept happening. He moved a little to the left and went back to practicing.

  A minute passed and then he felt it again. Then, another time. Finally, he felt something ping against his head. This time, it hit his ear and he heard it roll away.

  Something was being thrown at him. He turned around to find Ryo leaning against the table, a bag of peanuts in his hand. The AD was next to him, doubled over, laughing. Ryo looked Gakino in the eyes and then threw another peanut that hit him directly in the forehead.

  “Hey! What was that for?” Gakino called out.

  “You’re annoying me.”

  “Why?,” Gakino asked, walking toward him. “And what is it with you guys and the peanuts?”

  “If you two will excuse me,” the AD interjected awkwardly, “I’ll see what’s keeping the lighting crew.”

  Stepping away from the table, Ryo folded his arms. “I told you. You’re annoying the hell out of me.”

  “I’m sorry you’re having such a bad day. You should really try sleeping better. I slept GREAT last night. Not a care in the world.”

  “You’ve been walking around here all day with this stupid look on your face and you’re even more talkative than usual. I swear if you smile at me one more time and tell me to have a good day, I’m going to hit you with something bigger than a peanut. Even now, you’re going through the routine, but you’ve got this grin on your face that I’ve only seen on addicts or the insane.” Ryo glared at him from between half-closed eyes and rocked back on his heels.

  “Seriously, calm down already.”

  “You have been a annoyingly cheerful lately, Gakino.” Sano said walking up, probably hoping to cool everyone down.

  “Well, I have been really great lately.” He smiled at Sano, flashing his teeth before he laughed. The sound echoed around the room. The sound was filled with joy and obvious mirth. Sano shook his head, but smiled.

  “Aaah! You’re doing it again. I can’t wait until the stupid honeymoon is over. Once you and Eloise get through your lovey dovey stupid phase. Maybe I’ll get more peace around here.”

  Gakino just smiled and went back to practicing.

  “All this happiness is making me twitch. Aren’t you at least nervous about what we’re planning?”

  “I was. But just now I can’t be nervous. Too happy.”

  “Happy about what? Impending disaster? Kishimoto-san’s wrath? Upset fans? Empty concert venues? What?” Ryo’s face was pinched. His brow wrinkled with creases, his skin pale, except for dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he’d even lost a little weight.

  “Do you think any of that is likely to happen? If you thought it would, you shouldn’t have suggested—”

  “I don’t. I don’t think it’s likely. But I wish you would show a little evidence that you’re conscious that it might.”

  “Do you not want me to do it? You were the guy who came up with the idea two weeks ago.”

  “No. It just puts me on edge, watching you be so perfectly pleased about everything. It’s too much calm-before-the-storm. It makes me twitchy.”

  The opening cords of “My Funny Valentine” sounded from Gakino's pockets.

  “Oh, God. Not that again,” Ryo complained.

  Gakino smiled, pulling out his phone. “That’s El-chan’s ringtone.” Reading the message, he tossed back his head laughing. “Man, I must have been a monk in my last life to get so damned lucky this time around.”

  *
>
  “No. No. No. No! Stop! Stop! Stop!” Eloise pressed on the home button, trying desperately to back out, but the e-mail was gone, out in the ether not to Bethany...but to Gakino. Pressing on the home button again, she pulled up her browser, and there it was. Sent. Damn all iPhones. Damn all electronic devices. Damn technology and too sensitive virtual key boards. Who needed a pocket-sized computer anyway? This was a tragedy. Now her boyfriend had a list of the Top-5-Reasons-an-Idol-Boyfriend-is-Better-Than-Other-Boyfriends List. Damn. Damn. Damn.

  Please, God, all I need is just a little hole to swallow me up. She cringed, remembering number three: “Angels kiss better than mere humans. So much better, in fact, that I now consider kissing my absolute favorite thing, and, before you ask, yes, I include reading in such an accounting.”

  She quickly sent another message.

  ———-

  From: Eloise Bromleigh

  < eloisebromleigh@gmail.com >

  To: Gakino Yoh

  < gakino-sos-from-japan@ezweb.ne.jp >

  Subject: DISREGARD EARLIER MESSAGE

  Hey! I actually sent you an email intended for my friend Bethany. Remember? I told you about her. Her email is girlonfire@yahoo... And, apparently you’re now my top G listing, so you got her message! Crazy, right? Anyway, just delete it, no need to open it. Sorry about the confusion!

  ———-

  Ready to toss her iPhone out the window, she tried to comfort herself. If an email is sent and there’s no one there to read it, does it really exist? But good thoughts weren’t working. She’d just have to rely on luck. She was pretty lucky lately. Gakino. Good job. Good friends. He’d see her second message first and then nobly forgo reading the first even with it’s provocative subject line. She cringed again at the thought of the title.

  She heard a ping and read the alert that told her Gakino had replied. Sliding open her mail, she squinted at the screen not wanting to read Gakino’s message.

  ———-

  From: Gakino Yoh

  < gakino-sos-from-japan@ezweb.ne.jp >

  To: Eloise Bromleigh

  < eloisebromleigh@gmail.com >

  RE: Top 5 Reasons an Idol Boyfriend is Better Than Other Boyfriends

  Thank you, Eloise. I can now die a happy man. That’t the best thing that’s happened to me all day. I should start making a similar list. About you.

  Your angel, Gakino.

  ———-

  From: Eloise Bromleigh

  < eloisebomleigh@gmail.com >

  To: Gakino Yoh

  < gakino-sos-from-japan@ezweb.ne.jp >

  Subject: Number 6

  Angels return emails promptly and with glad tidings.

  ———-

  CHAPTER 14

  Sitting on the plane, she had imagined a nearly perfect, filmic reunion. Her boyfriend, waiting for her at the gate, holding flowers, or just waiting anxious and eager. They would quietly embrace. He would take her home. As usual, she lacked foresight. How could such a normal thing be so entirely impossible and impractical? Instead of Gakino, she was greeted by one of his assistants.

  "Mr. Yoh Gakino has sent me. I am coming to collect you." The language was far less fluid than Gakino's and marked with a heavy accent. Gakino was simply Gakino to her, but this reminded her of how different they were. She was shuttled into a limo. “Kishimoto-san has planned a conference with the press to celebrate the jackpot. Tenshi is chosen. They will be representatives of JAL." She said the letters as one word, jawl.

  "You mean Japanese Air Lines?"

  "Hai. Yoh-san asked will you join him?"

  "For the press conference?"

  "For the party after."

  "Oh, yes. Sure," she answered though she felt anything but.

  *

  Gakino pressed the heel of his palm into the top of his knee, grinding them together rhythmically to the beat of his bouncing foot which rested against his other knee in the stylist’s chair.

  “Yoh-san, please hold still or you’ll mess up your pants.” The stylist corrected him politely, but firmly.

  “Sorry, sorry.” He dropped his foot to the floor and glanced up at the clock. Eloise would have landed by now, but she hadn’t called him. He’d wanted to meet her at the airport, but that had become impossible with the new JAL contract for Tenshi. Their press junket was about five minutes away and then the release party a few hours later. What Gakino really wanted was to meet his girlfriend with a kiss and a normal discussion about all of the places he wanted to show her. But instead of introducing her to the Tokyo Sky Tree or the explosive flash of Shibuya, he’d had to send a stranger to pick her up and escort her to meet him in the most public way possible. There’d be no hugs and kisses for him.

  He knew how important this was. Everything rode on it. Gakino couldn’t shake the nerves he had after Ryo’s uncharacteristic uncertainty at their last video shoot. Ryo didn’t play the odds. Not with anything but his dice. Gakino would trust in that and his own determination to make this work. There was no other choice.

  “Gakino, we’re up.” Sano was looking at his watch as he stood up from his own styling chair. Gakino followed suit, barely noticing as the stylists pulled tissue from his collar and adjusted where his dangling belt fell. In the hallway he watched Shun slap Hiro’s hand away from where he’d begun to rub the sleep from his eyes, protecting the make-up that had been so carefully applied. Ryo rattled the dice in his pocket, but his face was carefully poised, revealing nothing. Sano grabbed the door leading to the JAL press platform and smiled at them all before meeting Gakino’s eyes. Gakino smiled back and wiggled his eyebrows before pumping his shoulders up and down and following Shun out with a smile.

  *

  Eloise was poked and prodded and primped. Covered in lace and frills, pink and white, she was topped off with jewelry, a headband with feathers on it, and high heels. She hated heels. If she was into torture devices, she would have gone in for cuffs.

  "Beautiful skin. So white," the make-up artist said.

  At least her pale skin was finally appreciated, though they looked confused studying her freckles; finally, they smoothed lotion and then powder over her forearms and across the bridge of her nose. They smoothed down her hair and put it in a tight pony tail, using an iron to smooth out her curls. "More sophisticate" one of the women whispered in her ear, reminding her of her mother’s criticisms of hair that had grown more and more wild and curly as she grew up.

  She recalled her parent’s argument, "Goddammit, Anne, clean her up and get her ready. We haven't invested all of our energy, and time, and money in this girl to have it all blow up in our damned faces. She will line up, when I say and where I say, smile and speak prettily. She will do it or she will be out on her ass."

  Eloise always knew that she wasn't dear to her adopted parents, but she had considered them friends of sorts, if not her family. They helped her. If she was ill, they saw to it that she had the proper care. She was well-fed and though she was sent away to boarding school, she was receiving the best education that money could afford. She was grateful to have such help, to have a way of making her life more successful than her birth mother's likely had been.

  Her adopted mother was not maternal, but she was almost always kind. She always had a smile for Eloise, a hug, and, after the Senator’s arguments and countless lectures about how she didn’t measure up, Eloise knew Anne always took care to shield her from the worst of it. But the Senator, too, was not unfeeling. He simply saw her as part of bigger goals. The Senator and his wife needed a family if he was ever going to win office. And she tried to be a model daughter. She was never in trouble. She always made good grades. She did volunteer work. She smiled in front of the cameras. It took her a long time to realize that she was trying to earn their affection and an even longer time to realize she never could.

  “Mr. Yoh will meet you here. He will be so happy to see you. Very beautiful.” The stylist beamed at her and waved happily before she closed the door behind her. Eloise stared
at herself in the mirror.

  She’d seen this girl in another mirror in another place many years ago. She’d left that person behind and sworn she’d never put the costume back on. Here they stood facing each other again.

  The door clicked open. Eloise watched Gakino’s pointed dress shoes and long tailored pant legs slip through the door. He looked handsome and completely comfortable in his own costume. Only, it wasn’t a costume for him, was it?

  "Hi," he beamed, walking toward her. "You look great. Beautiful."

  Her heart fluttered. And she felt her stomach drop in disappointment. She did look beautiful, but she felt terrible, a pretender in her own body. A dolled-up impostor. Was this what he wanted? Was this what he needed in a partner?

  "Thanks for coming tonight. A tremendous day just got even better." He winked at her, unable to sense her disappointment in the face of his own success. That was best. She didn't want him to remember tonight with regret. Anne had often told her she was too emotional. She needed to pull back, examine her own feelings. Perhaps she was overreacting. He led her out of the room, her hand in his, down the hall to the open, sparkling room where the party was being held.

  Everyone was super-human here. Even Gakino. His normally straight flat hair, was curled high, the opposite of her simple pulled-back style. In fact, except for her feather-glorious headband, his hair trumped hers. And he didn't wear it like that everyday. Maybe he, too, felt like this was a masquerade and that playing dress up was fun. His shoes were super shiny and pointed, and his suit was tight in all the ways her dress was loose and virginal.

  Yet, there were the feathers again, sewn onto his shoulders. Green, his color in the group. Looking around she saw Sano, with a red feather, hands folded into his pockets under his suit jacket, smiling and laughing politely at the jokes being told in a clump of businessmen. Ryo, in yellow, held a glass casually in one hand while appearing to charm the pants off of one reporter as he interrupted whatever was being said to lean forward and put in his own amusing thoughts. The reporter and those around them laughed in seeming surprise and then nodded in agreement. Hiro, eyes perpetually lowered at half-mast, was wearing blue. He stood next to the only other man in the room Eloise knew, Kishimoto himself. She guessed the man on Kishimoto’s other side must be their new manager, Sugiyama. He looked up and met her gaze with seeming surprise. Hiro woke up with a smile and a wave in her direction. Shun, off in a corner fluffing his purple feathers, was looking at himself in the glass of the darkened window beside him. He smiled an exaggerated smile and then turned to the party behind him, working the crowd. Laughing, patting people, bowing, he surfed through the flocks of people with grace,an idol at the top of his skills. Gakino was a part of that, and now she was, too, but no one expected her to be more than what she was. This was simply part of a play party. Little different from Halloween. She would play her part, and then tomorrow morning, she would go back to being who she really was, and Gakino would, too.