The Secret of St Claire

by Robin Alexander

  “You know that sometimes when our feelings are hurt or when we’re mad, we say things we don’t mean. Maybe Amanda’s parents really didn’t mean what they said. Amanda’s your buddy, right?”

  Alexis nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “As her friend, you should keep what she says just between y’all unless it’s something that’s going to cause her harm, then you should tell only me or Grams.”

  “But the whole school already knows.”

  “And that still doesn’t give you the right to betray your friend’s confidence. She probably needs someone to talk to right now, someone she can trust.”

  “Billy Meyers says they’re breaking up because Amanda’s daddy is a cheater, and he has lots of hos.”

  Lindsay blinked rapidly at this tidbit. “Do you remember when your dad and I split up and how kids were saying I cheated?”

  Alexis’s face darkened as she nodded.

  “It hurt your feelings, didn’t it?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Sometimes, we get really curious when we don’t know everything that’s going on, so we try to figure it out. We come up with theories, those are ideas. When we discuss those ideas out loud, they become rumors. That’s what happened with me and your dad. It was nobody’s business but ours, but people were still curious anyway. Those rumors hurt all our feelings, didn’t they?”

  “They made me cry.”

  “Me too, sweetie, and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing, we should be more understanding and supportive. Don’t repeat anything you hear. And don’t repeat the ugly rumors to Amanda. All she needs to hear from you is that you’re her friend and her secrets are safe with you.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Lindsay ran the back of her fingers across Alexis’s soft cheek and kissed her forehead. “See you in the morning. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  Lindsay gave Peepers a scratch behind the ears. “Watch over my kitten, cat, or no kibble for you.”

  *******

  Peepers gave up his post and climbed up on Lindsay’s bed where she lay staring at the TV screen, her mind a million miles away. She’d always wanted someone she could talk to, someone who could relate to her feelings, and now that she had arrived, it mortified Lindsay. It was the attitude. Nicole had spoken with conviction when she’d said she did not care what people thought. Lindsay had hoped for a confidant who would be just like her—secret, covert.

  If just a peep of Nicole’s real identity got out, Lindsay would be branded a sympathizer and maybe even a lesbian. If it were just her, Lindsay could pack up and shake the dust of St. Claire from her shoes. But she was tethered to her mother and daughter, and they would suffer equally if not more. Lindsay couldn’t sacrifice her loved ones for her own happiness because even if she did, she’d simply never be happy while they suffered.

  Chapter Seven

  “You’ve done something to my rabbit!”

  Deana and Nicole looked up from the computer in Nicole’s office. “Mrs. Berthalot, why didn’t you ring the bell? I didn’t know you were here,” Deana said.

  “Because this is an emergency.” Mary held up the carrier and pointed to Nibbles inside. “He’s constipated and hasn’t been making his binkies—his happy dance.”

  “Mrs. Berthalot,” Nicole began calmly. “You asked me to check his teeth the last time you were here. You were in the exam room, and you know that’s all I did.” Nicole stood and walked around her desk. “When did he have his last bowel movement?”

  “This morning, but it wasn’t a lot like normal.” Mary shoved the carrier into Nicole’s hands. “There were only a few pellets.”

  “Has he been eating less?”

  “Yes,” Mary said curtly. “He only eats the food in his dish. He won’t eat any of his treats or snacks.”

  Nicole looked at Deana. “I’ll take Nibbles to exam room one. If you’ll bring me his chart, I’d be grateful.” She turned back to Mary. “Follow me, please.”

  Nicole set the carrier on the table and opened the door. The brown rabbit came out slowly a moment later with his nose twitching. “So since you brought him in last, there’s been no happy dances. How many happy dances would you say he normally does in a day?”

  Mary seemed surprised by the question. “At least a dozen,” she said with a furrowed brow.

  Nicole stroked Nibbles’s fur. “How many did he do the day before you first brought him to see me?”

  “How could I possibly remember that? Two or three maybe.”

  “But you said he normally does around a dozen, so if he only did two or three on that day, he’s been tapering off.” Nicole took out a thermometer and took the rabbit’s temperature. “That tells me this has been a gradual thing.”

  “I suppose so.” Mary’s drawn-on brows knitted together. “Do you think there’s something seriously wrong with him?”

  “He’s not running a fever, so I doubt infection.” Nicole looked at the thermometer. “I’ll run some tests for parasites. Mrs. Berthalot, I’d like to keep him for a few days and monitor his eating and elimination habits. I want to make sure he didn’t ingest a foreign body like a piece of wood he might’ve been chewing on.”

  Mary put a hand to her throat. “Well, anything he needs if you think it’s necessary.”

  Nicole nodded with a grim expression. “You’re welcome to call and check in on him. It should only be for a few days.” Deana walked in and handed Nicole the chart, which she read over. “According to his chart, Nibbles is up to date on all his shots and has been healthy. Besides binkies, does he get a lot of exercise? Does he have free roam of the house, or do you keep him in a cage?”

  “I never cage him other than when we go to town,” Mary said indignantly.

  Nicole took Nibbles in her arms, and he sniffed her face. “Have you found any chewed furniture or power cords?”

  “No, not that I’ve noticed, but I’ll look when I go home.”

  “Please do that, and should you find anything, call me immediately.”

  “I’ll go right now.” Mary reached over and stroked Nibbles’s back. “Now don’t you worry, baby, you’ll be back with Momma soon.” She gave Nicole a stern look. “If anything happens to him, I will hold you accountable.”

  Nicole nodded and watched as Mary grabbed her purse and left the room at a brisk pace.

  “What’s wrong with him?” Deana asked when they heard the bell on the door chime.

  “I’m going to check him for parasites. His belly is nice and soft, and he doesn’t squirm when I touch it, so I don’t suspect that he’s constipated or ingested anything.” Nibbles was perfectly at ease in Nicole’s arms, and when she held him against her chest, he burrowed into her. “He might just be depressed.”

  “Rabbits get depressed?” Deana asked with a quizzical expression.

  “All animals can, especially if they’re not stimulated. Maybe Nibbles just needs a change of pace. I’m gonna keep him back at my house when I’m home, so don’t freak out if you come in and he’s not here. Oh, and don’t charge Mary for the boarding.” Nicole smiled. “I don’t see anything here that looks life-threatening and would warrant boarding, but I’d like to see if my hunch is correct.”

  Deana nodded and turned to leave. “Don’t forget about your two o’clock. Dusty Meyers is bringing in his Rottweiler to have his nails cut. If you have a suit of armor, you may want to put it on.”

  “You hear that, Nibbles?” Nicole held the rabbit to her face. “This day just keeps getting better.”

  *******

  Nicole stretched out on her couch after a long day and watched Nibbles explore her living room. He’d eaten dinner but passed on the lettuce leaf. She’d expected him to be intimidated and afraid of the new surroundings, but he didn’t appear to be in any distress. She figured it was because Mary packed him along everywhere she went, and he was used to being in strange places.

  Once she was satisfied that Nibbles was comfortab
le, Nicole’s thoughts went to Lindsay. She’d spent the previous evening replaying their conversation. Lindsay had seemed appalled when Nicole inferred that she too was a lesbian but never confirmed or denied it. Even though Lindsay looked like any other straight woman, she pinged loudly on Nicole’s gaydar. There was just something about her that spoke kindred spirit.

  Normally when Nicole met someone so deeply hidden in the closet, she let her stay there. It wasn’t for her to say how anyone should lead her life. The problem was that she found Lindsay irresistibly attractive the minute she’d laid eyes on her, and this was one sleeping dog she couldn’t let lie. She wanted to know if Lindsay Juneau was on the same team, and if so, she wanted Lindsay to be equally interested in her.

  “Nibbles, are you lonely?” Nicole rolled on her side and watched the rabbit hop around, sniffing this and that. “Is that it? You need rabbit companionship?” She got up and went into her bedroom. In the bottom of her closet was a pair of brown fuzzy slippers that someone had given her as a gift. She’d never worn them, favoring thick wool socks to keep her feet warm. Nicole returned to the living room and tossed the slipper onto the floor. She flopped down on the couch and watched as Nibbles eyed it curiously.

  People have many reasons for hiding their sexual identity—religious beliefs, family, harassment at the workplace. She’d never faced those struggles, but many she knew had. In Lindsay’s case, if she were a lesbian, it would be especially difficult in a small town. But adding to the mix a small child who could suffer ridicule was probably one of the strongest motivators of all for hiding. Nicole could respect that, but could she live with it? She could call her friends, even her father for advice, but she already knew what every last one would say. Leave this one alone.

  “Nibbles, my friend, it’s time for bed.” She scooped him up along with the slipper he’d been circling warily. “Tonight, you’ll have to sleep in the kennel. I hope you’ll forgive me. I’m afraid you’ll chew into something that will cause you harm. After all the tests today, we know you’re perfectly healthy, and that’s how I plan to return you to your mom.”

  *******

  “Hey, Deana, is Nicole in?”

  Deana smiled at Lindsay as she walked in the door. “You’re the first pleasant face I’ve seen all morning aside from Nicole’s. She’s downright giddy.”

  “Why is that?”

  Deana stood and grabbed the portable office phone. “This you’ll have to see for yourself.”

  Lindsay followed her to the back of the office, then across the backyard. Deana knocked twice on Nicole’s back door and walked in with Lindsay behind her. They could hear Nicole’s hysterical laughter coming from the living room.

  “Is he still dancing?” Deana asked as they walked into the room.

  “Among other things.” Nicole looked up and noticed Lindsay. “Hey, both of you, come watch this.” Nicole climbed down on the floor and reached under the sofa. She pulled out a slipper and tossed it into the middle of the floor. “That’s Sally.” Seconds later, Nibbles darted from underneath the couch. First, he rubbed his face all over Sally the slipper, then gave her a bath. He sprang straight up off the ground and twirled in a circle before landing on his feet like a cat. He repeated the process three times before descending on the slipper and mated with it for half a second before flopping on the ground. Nicole clapped her hands together. “He’s in love.”

  “You’re watching a rabbit...hump a shoe,” Lindsay said with a look of disgust.

  “He’s neutered, so he’s not really having sex with it. I think it’s more of a dominance thing. At any rate, he’s happy as a lark,” Nicole said triumphantly.

  “The binkies are definitely back.” Deana grinned. “That’s a happy dance.”

  “I’m glad we have a cat. Peepers doesn’t show any interest in my footwear other than occasionally batting at my laces.”

  Nicole scrubbed her hands together as though her job was done. “Can I get either of you something to drink?”

  Lindsay stood and thrust her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. “I can’t stay. Mom wanted me to come by and tell you we’re having pot roast for dinner. She’d like you to join us. Deana, you’re welcome to come, too, if you’re free.”

  “Thanks, Ms. Juneau, but I have a date tonight, and I need to get back to the office. Tell your mom I said thanks and say hello to Alexis and Peepers for me.”

  Nicole watched her go, then turned to Lindsay. “Are you okay with that?”

  “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Lindsay tried not to nervously shuffle her feet.

  Nicole tilted her head to the side. “Are you uncomfortable around me now?”

  Lindsay subconsciously backed up a step. “No, I’m not. Who you are doesn’t change my opinion of you.”

  Nicole seemed to study her for a moment as her gaze roamed over Lindsay’s face. “What can I bring—wine, dessert?”

  “Just yourself, dinner’s at six.” She handed Nicole a slip of paper. “That’s my address. We can make it later if that’s a problem.”

  “No problem at all.”

  “Good, well…I’ll see you then.”

  Nicole nodded and smiled as Lindsay retreated quickly.

  *******

  A call had not been good enough for Rose. “You’re gonna be out anyway, go by there and invite her in person.” Lindsay rolled her eyes as she climbed into her truck and turned the engine. She wasn’t sure if Rose was just insatiably curious about the newcomer, or if she was working overtime to make Lindsay and Nicole become the best of friends. A frown creased Lindsay’s face as she backed out onto the road. Would her mother be so gung-ho if she knew what Nicole really was? Or if she knew her daughter was the same?

  She wheeled into Summer’s Market and picked up the potatoes Rose had sent her for. She was on her way to the checkout when she turned the corner and nearly crashed into Tiffany Stanton, her old high school chum and the mother of Amanda, Alexis’s best buddy. Tiffany’s eyes were swollen and red, her nose looked like it had been blown a thousand times. “Oh, hey, Tiff. Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

  “That’s okay. How are you?” Tiffany avoided Lindsay’s gaze. She fiddled with the strap on her purse and shuffled her feet in painfully obvious discomfort.

  “I’m doing good.” Lindsay wasn’t going to ask the apparent question. Tiffany’s misery was plain. “You did a fine job with the fall festival. Alexis and I had a wonderful time.”

  A small smile flittered across Tiffany’s face and disappeared. “Have you heard?” She glanced at Lindsay and looked away quickly.

  “Amanda told Alexis. She told me. Is it true?”

  Fresh tears brimmed in Tiffany’s green eyes. She looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to them. “I don’t know yet.” She shook her head. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Mom’s at the store today. You wanna come by for coffee? We could talk.”

  Tiffany ran a finger under her eye and wiped the moisture on her pants leg. “I do, but I’m not up to it today. I’ve had about six hours of sleep in the last forty-eight. I can’t think straight.” She sniffed. “Can I take a rain check?”

  “Call me anytime and I’ll drop what I’m doing.” Lindsay had intended to give her a quick hug, but when she wrapped her arms around Tiffany, she sank into Lindsay’s arms and stayed there. Lindsay gave her a tight squeeze and whispered in her ear. “This will get better, I promise.”

  “Thanks.” Tiffany let her go and walked away without looking back.

  Chapter Eight

  Nicole closed the office at five, took a quick shower, then raced to T-John’s, where she bought a chocolate cream pie. She arrived at Lindsay’s at two minutes after six. She smiled as she strode up the walk to the front porch. The old two-story was painted a dark taupe with slate blue shutters. Two large oaks dropped their leaves on the flowerbed lining the front porch that took up the front of the house. It felt like home. Nicole’s stride faltered. Perhaps she was getting a
bit too close to Lindsay Juneau.

  “Hey, Ms. Nicole.” Alexis pushed through the screen door and came bounding down the steps wearing a tiny pair of blue jeans and a blue-sleeved jersey bearing the image of Justin Bieber. “I’m so glad you’re here. I can’t wait for Peepers to see you.”

  Nicole held out her fist for a bump that was enthusiastically met. “I’m looking forward to seeing him again, too.” She gave Alexis’s nose a soft pinch. “And it’s good to see you.”

  Alexis took her by the hand, led her onto the porch, and through the front door. Nicole chuckled under her breath at the large-screen TV mounted on the wall. It was the newest thing in the room and stood out in contrast against the well-worn sofa and recliner. There were pictures of Alexis everywhere at every stage of life. Toys were piled neatly in a corner, and children’s books covered the coffee table. It was easy to spot the priority in Lindsay Juneau’s life.

  “Ah, Nicole, what do you have there?” Rose walked into the room wiping her hands on a dish towel.

  “Chocolate cream pie.” Nicole grinned down at Alexis. “I knew I couldn’t go wrong with that.”

  “It wasn’t necessary but much appreciated, I assure you.” Rose took the pie from Nicole. “I’m just putting the finishing touches on dinner, and Lindsay’s upstairs changing. Can I interest you in a glass of tea, or would you prefer soda?”

  “Tea would be great, thank you. Can I help with dinner or set the table?”

  “Oh, no.” Rose shook her head and smiled. “You make yourself comfortable. Once I convince you to do this more often, I’ll let you help.”

  “Well, all right then.” Nicole grinned when Alexis handed her Peepers. “Hey there, big boy.” She cuddled him close and scratched beneath his chin. Purring immediately started and rumbled against her chest. Nicole took a seat on the couch, and the cat settled into her lap. “So tell me, Lexi, what have you been up to?”