The Secret of St Claire

by Robin Alexander

  Dinner conversation was dominated by stories of raising children. Elise told Rose about her flower gardens in Montana, and agreements were made to share pictures in the spring. Rose even offered to supply her with clippings of some of her favorite plants that she thought would adapt to a cooler climate. Even Alexis got in on the conversation and retold the story of seeing puppies come out of a dog’s butt. Lindsay and Nicole sat quietly together, silently communicating with looks and smiles.

  It ended all too soon even with the early start. Since Alexis was back home, Nicole had no excuse to stay. She and Lindsay had sneaked off into another room to say their goodbyes before anyone noticed they were gone. “I love you,” Nicole said against Lindsay’s lips. “I’m going to miss you terribly tonight when I’m sleeping on the couch alone.”

  “You won’t be alone.” Lindsay kissed her again. “You’ll have two kittens to keep you warm.”

  Nicole pulled her more snugly against her. “As they take turns biting my toes, I will dream about the day we don’t have to say goodbye.”

  “That day is coming soon, my love.” Lindsay buried her face in the crook of Nicole’s neck and breathed in deeply before giving her a toe-curling kiss. “I love you, too, and I love being able to say that.”

  *******

  As they gathered at the door, Elise pulled on her jacket. “Lindsay, I have thoroughly enjoyed meeting your family.” To Nicole’s surprise and obviously Lindsay’s, too, Elise kissed her on the cheek. She moved to Rose and hugged her. “It was such a pleasure meeting you. I’m certain,” she cast a quick glance at Nicole, “that we will have many more opportunities to get together.”

  Lindsay nearly had to pry Alexis off of Darrin. She latched on to Nicole just as quickly and showered her face with kisses. She even gave Elise a couple. As they drove away, Nicole wondered if she had dreamed the whole thing.

  *******

  Nicole fed the kittens as soon as they got home, and her father called the shower first. She and Elise settled in the living room, and Nicole couldn’t wait any longer. “Who was that woman wearing your clothes at Lindsay’s tonight?”

  Elise smacked her lips before answering. “You don’t give your old mom a lot of credit for being human.”

  “I apologize. You were very warm and gracious tonight.”

  “I’ll accept your apology, but I do have to confess that I did deserve that jab.” Elise smiled as she stroked Nicole’s hair. “I wasn’t trying to get on your good side yesterday when I said I liked Lindsay. The women you’ve dated in the past were superficial, which was easy for me to spot because I can be the same. The women I spend my time with are not my true friends. We play cards, have a few drinks, play a round of tennis or two, but you can bet when I’m not there, they talk behind my back just like I do theirs.”

  “Then why do you want to spend time with them?”

  “No responsibility, I suppose. They don’t count on me, and I don’t count on them. My life is full with family. Sometimes, I just want to get away and do something mindless.”

  “Then who do you confide in? Don’t you have one close friend you reach out to when something’s on your mind?”

  Elise nodded. “Your father, he’s my best friend. And your grandmother. I talk to her when Darrin finds that last nerve.”

  “Grandma’s dead.”

  “I know.” Elise smiled. “That’s why she’s perfect to talk to. She listens and doesn’t talk back. Who do you confide in?”

  “Lindsay.”

  “Right. Because she’s your new best friend that just happens to be your lover, as well. In some ways, sprout, we are the same, but you’re not superficial, and a woman like that is not for you. Lindsay’s down-to-earth. She’s not concerned about the car she drives or the furnishings in her house. It’s so obvious that her priority is you and her family.”

  “Do you really mean that?” Nicole looked deep into her mother’s eyes for any sign that she was being manipulated. Though they loved each other, they often bickered more than any of Nicole’s siblings.

  “I do. You’re so happy. I can see it in your smile and hear it in your voice. I suffered right along with you during the scandal with the Heidelberg boy, but, honey, you looked the same then as you did in your other relationships, and that too was hard to sit back and watch. You don’t look like that now, and I know Lindsay’s the reason. And Alexis, oh, that child is adorable. She’s as crazy about you as you are her.”

  Nicole grinned. “They do make me so very happy. Rose, too, she made me feel welcome the second I met her.”

  In a rare show of emotion, Elise’s eyes brimmed with tears as she took Nicole’s hands into her own. “You’re never coming back,” Elise said with a nod. “I know that now. But you’re happy, and that makes the separation bearable.”

  *******

  The next morning, the two families had breakfast at T-John’s, and Alexis got an early Christmas present from her new grandparents, though she didn’t know it at the time. The sterling silver “I love Justin Bieber” bracelet would make her the envy of all her friends. Hugs were exchanged by all, then Lindsay stood back and watched Elise take Nicole’s face in her hands. They spoke softly to each other in a tearful goodbye, then Nicole’s father took her in his arms.

  Elise walked over to Lindsay and hugged her tight while whispering in her ear, “You take good care of my baby, and she’ll take care of you.”

  “I will, I promise,” Lindsay said as Elise released her.

  Elise turned to Rose and gave her one last hug. “Take care of our girls and call me if you need me.” She smiled as she held Rose at arm’s length. “I’m glad to know you, Rose. You come and see us.”

  Not caring who looked on, Lindsay held Nicole as they waved goodbye.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  Lindsay was physically and emotionally exhausted. Business at the store took off at a frantic pace as Christmas crept up on them. Alexis was out of school for the holiday, Santa shopping had to be done, and somehow Rose and Tiffany had managed to rope her into helping with the preparation for the St. Claire Christmas Festival, which was responsible for the physical exhaustion.

  In addition, there was a mishap on the rig where Mike worked, and instead of being able to help with Alexis on his time off, he was stuck out in the Gulf. The emotional turmoil came from not being able to spend time alone with Nicole. In her arms, Lindsay wanted to take solace, wanted to feel that connection that made her knees weak, but the clandestine relationship and other obligations would not allow it.

  Normally, this was the slowest time at the clinic, but business for Nicole, too, had skyrocketed. She helped with the shopping and took Alexis to work with her as often as she could. But she and Lindsay were on a constant treadmill that only allowed for a few stolen kisses that did not lead to lovemaking but much-needed sleep.

  On Christmas Eve, the night of the festival, Lindsay drank half a pot of coffee and took a shower in hopes that it would perk her up. Her favorite holiday was supposed to be a happy time, but she couldn’t muster the strength to summon her usual excitement. And if Lindsay were to be truly honest with herself, she’d have to confess that it wasn’t the busy schedule that had her so wound up, it was the discussion she would have to have with Alexis after Christmas. Lindsay had begun to feel that her whole life depended on how Alexis would react and after her the residents of St. Claire. She wanted so much to share a home with Nicole and put away the secret lifestyle.

  Lindsay switched off the water in the shower and dried off. After she’d wiped away the steam covering her mirror, she noticed that the scowl that had formed late that afternoon was still present. She was edgy, and the people who understood and cared for her more than anyone bore the brunt of her frustration. Nicole had a last-minute unscheduled patient and ran late getting Alexis to the house. This put everything behind schedule. Lindsay snapped.

  “If you would’ve just called, Mom could’ve picked Alexis up and had her bathed already,” Lindsay said
sharply when Nicole pulled up in the driveway. Nicole hadn’t even gotten out of the car before Lindsay started harping. “Alexis, go upstairs and get into the shower right now.” Lindsay hadn’t taken the time to greet or kiss her before shouting out orders.

  “It’s my fault.” Nicole killed the engine.

  “Yes, and next time, call me.” Lindsay regretted the words as they flew out of her mouth because Nicole’s fatigued face darkened.

  “Lindsay,” Rose called from the porch.

  “Not now, Mom,” Lindsay said, and Rose went back into the house, slamming the door behind her.

  Lindsay let out a long, labored breath as she turned to Nicole. “I’ll pick you up at six.”

  “Main Street runs in front of my house.” Nicole turned on the engine of her car without getting out. “I’ll just walk out of my front door, and I’m sure I’ll see you there.”

  Lindsay watched her go knowing that she’d made a huge mistake.

  *******

  “An espresso and an hourlong cry is what I need right now.” Lindsay combed through her wet hair. “But as usual, there’s no time.”

  After she dressed, Lindsay apologized to Alexis first, then her mother for her earlier behavior. She hoped that she’d get a moment alone with Nicole to do the same before she had to put on a happy face in front of everyone else. She didn’t want tension between her and Nicole because on this night she had the perfect excuse as to why Nicole should sleep at their house and stay in her room. Santa was coming, and it wouldn’t do for someone to be sleeping on the couch. Nicole needed to be there early so she could see everything he brought before Alexis unwrapped it. “Excuses, I’m sick of excuses and lying,” Lindsay said under her breath as she climbed into her truck.

  As planned, she pulled onto Main Street at Miles’s direction. She and Rose unloaded all the pies they’d been tasked with baking. Once Rose had Alexis in her sights, Lindsay parked her truck in the lot of Nicole’s office and hoped she could make amends. “I’m so sorry.” Lindsay stepped inside Nicole’s back door. She wrapped her arms around Nicole and buried her face in her neck. “I was stressed, and I took it out on you. I’ve felt terrible ever since.”

  “It won’t be the last time.” Nicole held her. “I’m sure I’ll be guilty of snapping at you one day.”

  Lindsay pulled away and held Nicole at arm’s length. “Could you do it now? It’d make me feel a whole lot better.”

  Nicole furrowed her brow. “You’re wrinkling my shirt, damn it. Get off of me.”

  “You’re wearing a sweater, baby.”

  “Hey,” Nicole shrugged, “it’s all I got.” She pulled Lindsay back into her arms and held her tight as she kissed her. “Now let’s hurry up and have fun, so we can really have fun later.”

  *******

  Main Street was lit up with Christmas lights, on the streetlamps and in the yards of the homes lining the street. The park at the center of town was strung in all white lights with a huge multicolored Christmas tree as the centerpiece. Large boxes wrapped in shiny red, gold, and green paper surrounded it. St. Claire residents gladly paid twenty bucks apiece to eat and drink until the food and soda were gone. Even the McCreedys were in attendance, though most everyone avoided them as they surrounded the turkey leg cart.

  Nicole pulled Lindsay to a stop. “Is that Ruby Crantz standing next to your mother?”

  A smile spread across Lindsay’s face. “Oh, my God, it is. She hasn’t come to one of these in ages, and doesn’t she look amazing?” Ruby stood with her chin up as if in defiance to all of the surprised stares. Dressed in a long red coat with a white scarf over black slacks, she had a regal air about her.

  “She’s got eyebrows,” Nicole said as she studied her.

  “Hey, don’t joke. We’re headed to the land of drawn-on brows much faster than I’d like to think.”

  “I mean she’s wearing makeup,” Nicole said with a laugh. “The last time I saw her, she was wearing what looked like SWAT gear and a black ski cap. She cleans up pretty nice.”

  “So do you.” Lindsay liked the cream-colored sweater and the brown leather bomber jacket Nicole was sporting.

  Nicole leaned in so only Lindsay would hear what she said next. “You look stunning tonight, but I prefer to see you dressed down…to nothing.”

  “Well, hello, minx,” Ruby said as Nicole and Lindsay drew near. “Nice to see you when you’re not covered in dog fur.” Ruby winked. “Or did you just shave?”

  “Lovely to see you, too, Ruby,” Nicole said. “I don’t see the shotgun. Are you carrying it in your coat?”

  A few people close by seemed surprised by the exchange and even more so when Ruby laughed and pulled Nicole in for a hug.

  Alexis and a pack of her friends were hitting every booth like a miniature gang. The front of Alexis’s white jacket was already stained with what looked like mustard. A band played and people danced in the middle of Main Street. Laughter and the smell of food filled the air. Lindsay felt herself begin to relax until she heard a familiar sour voice.

  “Well, well, I shouldn’t be surprised to find you two huddled up together.”

  Lindsay and Nicole turned as Mary Berthalot joined their circle. “Ruby,” she said with a sneer. “I see you’ve finally decided to grace us all with your presence.”

  “Some of you,” Ruby said curtly.

  Obviously recognizing that Ruby was not going to play her game, Mary set her sights on a new pawn. “Rose, I have to say I’m surprised by you. You may’ve lost control of your daughter, but there’s still hope for Alexis. Why do you allow her to be exposed to such debauchery?”

  “Excuse me?” Rose said indignantly.

  Mary’s voice rose so everyone near would be sure to hear her. “As a Christian woman, I’d think you’d do something about what’s going on under your nose.”

  Rose took a step closer to Mary “What are you alluding to?”

  “I’m not alluding to anything,” Mary said with a distinct edge to her voice. “Unlike the rest of the people in this town, I cannot turn a blind eye to the sinful lifestyle your daughter and Dr. Allen are embroiled in.” She looked at the faces surrounding them. “It’s my duty as a Christian woman and a righteous pillar of this town to speak out against this. And I’ve taken my business elsewhere.”

  Mary blinked when an older male voice in the crowd that had gathered said, “Shut up, you old crow, and mind your own business.”

  A tear slipped down Lindsay’s cheek as the nightmare began to unfold. She and Nicole stood side by side in stunned silence.

  “Everyone in town knows what’s going on between these two.” Mary pointed a finger at Lindsay and Nicole. “Yet no one will stand up for what’s right. What?” Mary held up her hands. “Will you all turn a blind eye and allow homosexuals to live in our midst? Will you allow these women to degrade the town we have worked so hard to keep from the clutches of this evil world?”

  Ruby stepped in front of Rose. “Is your God so small that he needs you to cast his judgment?”

  “What do you know of God? You haven’t darkened the doorstep of a church in ages, Ruby,” Mary shot back haughtily.

  Ruby shook her head with a smile. “No, I haven’t.” She looked up at the crowd that was steadily gathering. Most of the murmuring stopped as Ruby met their curious stares. “Mary’s right, I don’t go to church anymore because I’ve never really been fond of snakes.” Mary’s gasp was echoed by many others. “Grab your sagging jaws. Christ said the same thing, called the religious folk a brood of vipers.”

  Ruby’s gaze settled back on Mary. “You’re the biggest viper of all, Mary Berthalot. You set your religious standard so high that no one, not even you, can live up to it. So you assuage your own guilty conscience by judging others. If I had only your so-called righteous example to go by, I’d have never read the Bible for myself.” Ruby pointed at Lindsay. “This woman has lived in this town all her life. She and Rose have been friends to everyone here, always willing to lend a h
and. Can you say the same about Mary and her tiny band of crows? If you needed help, would you go to Mary?”

  Ruby shook her head as she began to move along the edge of the crowd, staring into it. “No, you don’t go to Mary, you go to Rose or Lindsay. But many of you have come to me when your gambling got out of control and you couldn’t afford to put food on your tables.” She patted the pocket of her jacket as she walked. “You came to me when you needed money to hide the results of your indiscretions. I’ve been silently collecting your darkest secrets for years. Mary’s got money, too. Why didn’t you seek her help in your time of need? Did you fear her judgment, or was it because you knew she’d tell everyone?”

  Ruby raised her head high as she gazed over the crowd and raised her hands. “Anyone? Is anyone going to speak up?” She shook her head and grinned. “No, you’re not. So why are you gathered here now? To see Mary flay these women who have shown you all nothing but kindness? How very Christian of you all. If you allow Mary and her cronies to persecute these women, they’ll probably leave town, then what will you be stuck with?” Ruby jerked a thumb in Mary’s direction. “That’s what. A bitter old hag that most of you cross the street to avoid speaking to.”

  Ruby turned to Mary. “I have many regrets, but the biggest was allowing you and your mouth to run me off into the woods. Look at you, flesh and bone and chock full of shit, still I let you get under my skin. You better get down on your hands and knees, Mary Berthalot, and thank your God that he’s not like me because I would’ve dropped a lightning bolt into the crack of your ass a long time ago.” Ruby pointed a finger in Mary’s face. “What makes this town so special is not the picket fences, manicured lawns, and the carefully crafted façade that hides all our misdeeds, it’s women like Rose, Lindsay, and Nicole. What ‘degrades’ this town is all of us bowing to you, Mary and those like you. Go home to your slipper-loving rabbit and leave the good people alone.”