A Dandy in Disguise

by Meredith Bond

  Kirtland gave a nod, his mouth too full of cake to comment.

  “But is a ball the only place I could play?” Rose persisted.

  Kirtland took a sip of tea. “No, there are card parties. I am actually attending one on Tuesday evening, hosted by Lady Kemble. But again, I do not believe that it is at all proper for a young lady such as yourself to attend.”

  Lord Strapton interrupted their quiet conversation by coughing obviously. The gentlemen’s argument had clearly been resolved, and he was ready to leave. As he stood up and made his parting comments, Rose stood as well and walked him to the door of the room. “Thank you so much for coming, my lord.”

  “Thank you, Miss Grace. May I be assured of a dance tomorrow evening at the rout?”

  “Yes, of course, if we decide to attend that party, I shall be very happy to meet you there,” Rose said easily. Even if he was not the most interesting man she had ever met, and held rather odd ideas about archaeology, at least she would not be a wallflower the entire evening.

  “Oh, and though it may not be strictly proper, there is going to be a masquerade at Vauxhall Gardens next week...”

  “Absolutely not!” her aunt said firmly from behind her.

  Rose gave a little giggle and a shrug. “It was a good try, my lord.” It was such a shame that Aunt Farmington knew her so well. There surely could be nothing more fun than a masquerade.

  The young man looked a little taken aback by her aunt’s forcefulness and left quickly. As she closed the door behind him, an idea started tickling in the back of Rose’s mind.

  She went back to Lord Kirtland, who was finishing off his cake. They still had some privacy, since Laia was flirting with the dashing young officer, and Aunt Farmington had returned to her side in order to keep a sharp eye on the proceedings.

  “My lord,” she said quietly, refilling his cup of tea, “what if I attended the card party in a mask and domino? That way no one would know who I was.”

  Lord Kirtland thought about this for a moment, nodding his head. “I have known ladies to do so in order to maintain their anonymity. Of course, you would need a gentleman to vouch for you...”

  Rose batted her eyelashes at Lord Kirtland, and began to try to think of other ways she might convince him to take her, if that didn’t work.

  None were necessary, thankfully. Although he looked dubious for a moment, he relented at her sweet, pleading smile.

  “Very well, Miss Grace, if that is what you truly wish to do?”

  “Oh, yes!” she said quickly.

  “I am not at all sure...”

  “Please, my lord?”

  He stole a look at her aunt.

  “I assure you, no one need know,” Rose said.

  He nodded. “Then I shall be honored to take you—if you wear a mask and domino.”

  “Oh, thank you, so very much, my lord. I truly do appreciate it.”

  His answering smile was all she needed.

  Rose had a hard time not bouncing in her seat, she was so excited. Everything was working out exactly the way she had hoped.

  Chapter Ten

  AFTER Lord Kirtland and Lieutenant Wroughtly had left, Rose went to her room to try to rest in preparation for her outing to the opera that evening, but her mind was whirling with thoughts of Lord Kirtland and the impending card party.

  “What was it that you and Lord Kirtland were whispering about?” Laia demanded barging into her room, followed, inevitably, by Thalia. Her sisters could always be counted on to insist on being included in everything. Thalia looked expectantly at her as well.

  “Oh, we were discussing something that occurred at Lady Bascombe’s ball the other night,” Rose said, as innocently as she could. But, as she expected, it was not enough for her overly curious little sisters, who folded their arms and looked pointedly at her in unison. Rose nearly laughed, but managed to stifle it. And she did have to admit she wanted to share her excitement with them as much as they clearly wanted to hear it.

  “Well,” Rose began, “after I had danced for some time at the ball the other night, Aunt Farmington found an old friend of hers and fobbed me off onto Papa. I told him that I was bored with dancing, so he was kind enough to bring me into the card room with him. It was there that I met Lord Kirtland and a friend of his, Mr. Aiken. They taught me how to play whist and...”

  She paused for effect, and then, smiling at their rapt faces, continued, “...and I managed to win nearly thirty pounds!”

  Thalia gasped, while Laia’s pale green eyes began to sparkle with excitement. “You won? I can’t believe...”

  “Why can’t you? Rose is extremely intelligent. Why shouldn’t she win at cards?” Thalia said, suddenly very defensive.

  “There is no reason why she shouldn’t. I’m just surprised she did,” Laia said. “So that’s what the two of you were talking about?” she asked Rose.

  Rose nodded. “Yes. I asked him if he knew of some place where I might gamble again. I told him I enjoyed playing cards so much the other night that I was looking for another opportunity to do so. He was very kind, and offered to take me to a card party on Tuesday evening, so long as I wear a mask.”

  “Wait, I’m confused,” Thalia said, bouncing on the bed. “Why do you want to play cards with Lord Kirtland? I thought you were interested in Fungy!”

  Rose frowned at Laia. Clearly, she had been filling Thalia’s head with romantic nonsense about her and Fungy. “No, Thalia. Lord Kirtland is wealthy and an archaeologist. He is much closer to the sort of gentleman I want to marry than Fungy. And besides, I did not ask Lord Kirtland to take me to this party just to be with him. I’m hoping, if luck is with me, to win enough money to pay off our most pressing bills. And maybe even more. Maybe enough that I won’t have to worry about marrying so quickly.”

  Understanding dawned on Thalia, and she clapped her hands in excitement. “You will win all the money we need!”

  “Oh yes, Rose, do win lots of money!” Laia gushed. “Then I can go out and buy more ribbons, and Thalia can get a new hat to replace the one she lost in the river, and...”

  “Laia, please! I’ve got to win the money first before you spend it all, and we’ve got to pay off our other bills before we mount up any new ones.”

  “But you will win, Rose, won’t you?” Thalia asked, bouncing up and down again.

  “I will certainly do my best,” she said, leaning back against the pillows on her bed, fighting to control her enthusiasm while her sisters didn’t even try.

  ~~~~

  Fungy began to have misgivings about coming to see Lord Halsbury as soon as his lordship started extolling Fungy’s admirable qualities.

  “You are a very impressive young man, from what I hear of you. Generous—dancing with the wallflowers, offering fashion advice to those who need it, and apparently, you do all this in such a way as to make everyone not feel the least awkward.”

  Lord Halsbury offered Fungy a glass of brandy before going on.

  “Brummell, y’know, will cut a man down with just the lift of one eyebrow, and let him and all those around know that whatever he is wearing is not good enough. You, on the other hand, simply whisper a word or two into the man’s ear without making a scene of it or embarrassing the poor fellow to death. And the advice always takes, because they know you mean well, and are not just a high–and–mighty arbiter of fashion. Again, very impressive,” Halsbury said, hooking his thumb into the watch pocket of his dull brown waistcoat.

  Fungy took a large sip of his drink. This was becoming rather embarrassing.

  “And, Fotheringay–Phipps—may I call you Fungy? And there’s the way you treat the young ladies. Always a kind word. Again if there is the slightest criticism, it is said in such a kind way so that no one could possibly take offense. Why, you must be friends with absolutely everybody!”

  “My lord, excuse me for being blunt,” Fungy paused, hoping Lord Halsbury wouldn’t be offended, “but you don’t know me. How do you know that I’ve done any of
these things? Don’t remember seeing you at many parties.”

  Lord Halsbury stopped and gave Fungy a wicked smile. “I have my ways.”

  “Oh?” Now he was really beginning to get worried. What sort of man was Lord Halsbury, to have… ‘ways’?

  He didn’t even know Halsbury, Fungy realized. All he knew was that the man was involved in politics, an active member of the House of Lords, and dressed with all the fashion sense of a country squire who rarely came to town. At least his coats were made to fit his stout figure well.

  Lord Halsbury got up and pulled the bell cord that was hanging next to the fireplace. A moment later a footman walked into the room.

  “James, ask my daughter to step in a moment, would you?”

  The footman bowed and left on his errand.

  “I believe you met Harriet at Lady Anson’s, did you not?”

  “Yes. She spoke with Miss Grace for some time, I believe.”

  “Yes, that’s right. Miss Grace—now there’s an interesting girl, aside from the small fact that she has a lot to learn about how to go on in society.”

  Fungy gave a polite little laugh, but the picture in his head of Miss Grace was that of an angel calling to him from over the edge of the river. Fungy firmly pushed that image aside and stood as Miss Halsbury came into the room. She was a quiet girl, not one to put herself forward. Of course, she did not have the looks to compete with the prettier girls in society, but she was sweet and gentle. Nothing compared to Miss Grace, of course, but few could.

  “Yes, Papa, you wished to see me?” she said, as she closed the door silently behind her.

  “Yes, my dear. You remember Mr. Fotheringay–Phipps, er, Fungy?”

  “Of course. It is wonderful to see you again, sir.” She gave him a small curtsy.

  He nodded his head. “The pleasure is mine.”

  “Fungy wanted to know where I got my information about him and his behavior, my dear.”

  Miss Halsbury nodded, and gave him a shy little smile. “It is all my fault, I’m afraid.”

  “There you have it, Fungy. I present to you my social spy. Harriet and her mother go to all of the most fashionable parties so I don’t have to. She comes back and tells me about everything and everyone she saw. She seemed to be most impressed with you on the few occasions you’ve met.”

  Miss Halsbury’s cheeks turned bright pink.

  “I had no idea I was being watched,” Fungy admitted, rather stunned by this news. It had happened before that a young lady had shown him marked attention, but he’d easily discerned her intentions and gently redirected them to another more likely candidate. He had not realized that Miss Halsbury...

  “I assure you, sir, if it were not for my father, I would not have been so bold,” Miss Halsbury said quietly.

  “No, no, it was not Harriet’s idea to watch you in particular, Fungy. I simply asked her to look out for someone who moved among society easily, and who she thought was intelligent enough to undertake an assignment for me should the need arise.”

  “And you singled me out, Miss Halsbury?” Fungy was becoming more surprised by the moment.

  “Of course, Fungy,” Miss Halsbury said, looking as if it was obvious that he was the right man for such work.

  “How could you possibly think that I was so intelligent?” he could not help asking.

  Miss Halsbury’s already–pink cheeks turned even brighter, but her voice was quite serious when she said, “You try to hide behind your façade of ennui, but I can see your intelligence in your eyes and in the clever things that you say. You are also very careful in the way you treat people—always thoughtful, so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings or embarrass them publicly.”

  “As you see, Fungy, my daughter is an excellent judge of character. I trust her implicitly,” Lord Halsbury concurred.

  Fungy was stunned. Just from watching him, Miss Halsbury had discerned all this, and clearly thought him capable and responsible enough to take on whatever assignment her father might need him for.

  And yet his own cousin did not trust him.

  Merry had bypassed him in favor of Sin when it came time to choose a godfather for his son. He had thought Fungy too irresponsible and incapable of taking the position seriously. He had even forgotten Fungy’s reputation for being one of the brightest students to ever attend Eton.

  How had this girl seen these abilities in him, when his own cousin and best friend could not? And how could she see this just by watching him at parties? The thought astounded him.

  He had also never felt so exposed in all of his life. He might as well be standing naked in front of this girl. She could see right through him!

  Fungy swallowed his discomfort and turned back to his host. “What sort of, er, assignment is it that you have in mind for me, sir?”

  Lord Halsbury nodded to his daughter. “Thank you, Harriet, that will be all.”

  Lord Halsbury got up as the door shut behind her and plucked a piece of paper off of his desk. Wordlessly, he handed it to Fungy to read. It was addressed to no one, and seemed to be more of an odd list than a letter.

  On it were written the names of a number of lesser–known young men, usually younger sons or brothers of wealthy peers, and some older ladies who were not prominent members of society but had such excellent connections that they were welcomed everywhere. Next to each name was an amount of money, anything between five hundred and five thousand pounds.

  Three of the names were crossed off with a careful line running through their names. At the top it said, “To watch” and at the bottom were the initials PH.

  Fungy looked it over twice before turning his gaze in askance at Lord Halsbury.

  “It is a list of targets—or victims, if you will—of a gambling scheme that I believe is being very cleverly run from within the ton. ”

  Fungy sat up.

  “The names crossed off are of people who have recently disappeared from town. Disappeared, I believe, because of their financial straits.”

  Fungy looked at the note once more, reconsidering the crossed–off names. “The Honorable Curtis Flinchley. Yes, I’ve heard that he had been sent down to rusticate for a while at his father’s estate. Lady Amelia Cotsworth.” He thought for a minute. “I remember meeting her not two weeks ago at Lady Sefton’s ball.”

  “Lost two thousand pounds that night and hasn’t been seen since,” Lord Halsbury supplied.

  “My God!”

  “Yes, precisely. This is nasty business, Fungy, and we don’t know who is masterminding it. I am determined to find out. As yet, there are no laws against winning another’s fortune at a game of cards, but some of us in Parliament are working on that as well.”

  “Do you know to whom she lost this money?” Fungy asked.

  “No. If we knew that, it would be easy, wouldn’t it? Unfortunately, she lost the money over a long night of play and, it seems, to a number of people. It is quite likely that her vowels are all being bought up by one person, or perhaps all of the people she lost to are involved in the scheme as well. It is difficult to find out for certain—which is where you come in.”

  “What is it you need me to do?”

  “I want you to find out who is running this scheme and stop it.”

  Fungy nearly laughed. “You make it sound so easy.”

  “Oh no, Fungy, it is not easy at all. The only clue we have is his, or her, initials. But you know everyone who is anyone in the beau monde. If anyone can figure this out, I believe it is you.”

  Fungy sat back in his chair, taken aback by the level of trust Lord Halsbury had in him. Could he possibly do this?

  Then he remembered the quiet confidence Miss Halsbury had shown in him.

  He could do this. He was intelligent and responsible. He had vowed not a day ago to change his life to one that was more meaningful, and here was the perfect opportunity to do so.

  He stood up. “I shall do it.”

  Lord Halsbury stood as well, and grasped Fungy’s hand. �
�Excellent! I knew I could count on you.”

  ~~~~

  Lord Kirtland smiled at Rose, but somehow it didn’t make her feel any better. If anything, it made her feel worse. How could she be losing so badly and he still be smiling at her?

  It was a smile of encouragement, she told herself. Why else would he smile at me like that when I’m losing?

  She was sure that her luck would turn any moment now. It had to. She had won so many of the tricks earlier in the evening—this was just a run of bad luck. It would end very soon, it had to.

  Rose took a deep breath, played a card from her hand and then returned Lord Kirtland’s smile from behind her mask. She would not give up hope.

  There was no reason to give up yet—aside from the fact that she had already run out of money. Lord Kirtland had already been kind enough to write a vowel on her behalf with the understanding that she would pay him back as soon as she could. And since it was to his good friend, Mr. Aiken, she was sure it would not be a problem. Certainly, by the end of the night, she would have won that money back and more. Much more.

  She paused to watch Lord Kirtland play the two of spades. With it, he won the trick.

  Rose had to win at least two hundred pounds in order to pay off all of her family’s bills. That shouldn’t be too difficult, considering the amounts being wagered. Why, she had already won and lost at least that much. Winning all that she needed was not going to be a problem.

  The suit being played was diamonds. Rose didn’t have any diamonds. With a little smile, she played a low trump card.

  As soon as she had won her two hundred pounds, she would definitely stop, she told herself firmly. She would stop gambling—in fact, she would stop playing cards altogether. All she needed was enough to pay the bills.

  Rose swallowed hard as Lord Kirtland took the trick once more, beating her trump card with one of his own. He looked so very pleased with himself, she thought with a bitterness that shamed her with its fierceness.