The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant
Page 30
Slave — Often used interchangeably with submissive. However, generally reflecting a more intense level of submission or non-sexual or sexual-plus submission. For example, a slave might be someone who remains in a 24-hour-per-day submission and cooks, cleans and, otherwise, takes care of a dominant’s house. See submissive.
Slow word — A signal by the submissive that things are getting too intense and you should change or decrease the stimulation. See Safeword. See Go word.
Sound — A medical device shaped like a curved rod that is inserted into the uretha
Squick — A cyber term that has moved into the off-line world. Coined by STella of ASB, it means, essentially, “This disgusts me.”
Stapling — Temporary piercing and lacing done with a surgical stapler and sterile medical staples.
Strapple — An elongated paddle with a bit more flex so that is something intermediate between a strap and a paddle.
Sting — A sensation from a toy that is “stingy,” as distinguished from “thud.” Intense surface sensation.
Submissive — An individual who gives up power in a BDSM relationship for the mutual pleasure of those involved.
Suspension — A set of techniques for suspending a submissive using ropes, webbing or chain so that no part of the body touches the floor. This is a highly specialized technique and great care must be used to prevent damage.
Switch (Switchable) — A person who enjoys both the dominant/top and submissive/bottom roles. A switch may be dominant to one person and submissive with another or may be dominant or submissive with the same person at different times.
Sub drop — See Bottom drop.
Temporary piercing — Using a sterile needle to penetrate the skin as a stimulation rather than to produce a hole to be used for jewelry as in conventional piercing. See Lacing and Ball dancing.
Thud — Sensation from a toy that is largely impact and felt deeply in the body, often moving the body itself. Distinguished from “sting.”
Top — A person who in play delivers the stimulation but does not require the submission of his or her partner.
Top drop — See Bottom drop.
Topping from the bottom — (derogatory) For a submissive to dictate the precise action in a scene. A term of contempt. Example: “She’s cute and willing, but she’s always topping from the bottom; you will spend most of your time trying to keep her from telling you which whip to use and how to swing it.” See “SAM.’
Top’s disease — A condition where a top or dominant projects the fantasy role into the real world with an assumption of superiority. This kind of person can be a real pain in the ass.
True — A term when used in conjunction with “master,” “dominant,” “slave” or similar term rates, at best, a snicker. As a putdown to others, it says much more about the one who is using it than the one who is being put down.
TT — Tit torture. The term applies to both males and females. Urtication — Using stinging nettles in scene play. They can be simply pressed into the skin or used as a whip.
Vanilla — Not in the scene. A term used to describe ordinary, conventional life both sexual and otherwise. While it can be used in a pejorative sense, it is more often used to distinguish between scene and non-scene activities and people. Example: “I have to be careful in my vanilla life that people don’t find out that I’m a dominant.”
Violet wand — An antique medical device still being manufactured that creates a large, but harmless, spark and is used extensively in electro play scenes.
YKINMK-BYKIOK — A mantra by many in the scene. Your Kink Is Not My Kink, But Your Kink Is OK. Intended to point out that our desires and needs do not define the scene for others.
Wrapping — Allowing the ends of a whip to go around the target’s body rather than hit cleanly in the target zone. When done unintentionally, it is a mark of a careless or inexperienced whipper and is usually caused by standing too close to the subject. The intensity of the stroke is magnified several times wrapping.
Wartenburg wheel — A spiked pinwheel intended for use by neurologists but taken up and used for play by ingenious scene players. The sensation looks intense but is generally perceived as pleasurable.