Love or Money?

by Carrie Stone

  “I see. Well I guess you’ve made up your mind.” He reached out, leaning toward her and for a moment Felicity held her breath thinking that he was going to kiss her. Instead, he moved her aside and took two plates from the rack behind her. “When are you leaving then?”

  He clattered the plates against the worktop and opened the utensil drawer to retrieve a ladle, closing it with force.

  “I don’t know. Soon I guess.” Felicity bit her bottom lip, sensing his irritation and anger.

  “Ok.” Picking up a plate, he ladled a generous amount of food onto it. “I’ve made it less spicy than last time so it should be fine for you.” He passed her the plate and cutlery.

  The conversation was over. Felicity stared at the food and felt her eyes water. Why couldn’t he open up to her? If he didn’t care, why was he angry? It was so confusing trying to decipher whether she was hoping for something that would never happen. He was a man used to expressing his thoughts and emotions on every subject. So why, if he felt the same way as she, wouldn’t he give her a sign?

  “Don’t just stare at it, eat up. Time’s running out and we’ve still got to finish that series of Doctors NYC before you leave” Owen joked, smiling. Felicity noticed the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

  She watched as he ate hurriedly, seeming to want the meal over as quickly as she did. Her heart felt so heavy realizing it was one of their last meals together. Her entire body was screaming at her to reach across the table and kiss him, to tell him how she really felt. Instead, she picked up her fork and began to eat slowly. It was pointless kidding and torturing herself further; Owen didn’t want her. She had to get away from him soon.

  Sylvia stared at the scan photo and tried to decipher how the miniscule white dot on the black background represented her baby. It still didn’t seem real. Despite seeming to work through a range of emotions in the past couple of weeks, she’d finally arrived at a contented place. Hours spent pouring over internet sites reading about pregnancy and babies had been invaluable. She might not have been prepared for a child but she’d come to realise that she had all of the necessary tools. There was never going to be a right time to become a mother. She may as well embrace the opportunity, even if the question of the baby’s father hung in the balance.

  Her phone beeped. Putting down the scan photo, she walked over to her handbag on the sofa and searched inside for her mobile, ignoring her stomach rumbling.

  “Hurry up Phillip” she muttered to herself, thinking about the Chinese takeout he’d gone to collect. Although she’d read that cravings didn’t start until later in pregnancy, she was certain her eating habits were already changing. She usually didn’t like spicy food but within the past week she’d developed a sudden need for anything with a kick.

  She opened her text message.

  We need to talk. Dan

  Her heart racing with panic, she deleted the message instantaneously, thankful that Phillip wasn’t beside her. She felt nauseous, her appetite vanishing.

  It had been a huge mistake meeting Dan and telling him about the pregnancy. She bitterly regretted her rashness; if only she’d thought it through before contacting him. In hindsight she’d have weighed up the consequences first. She shuddered rethinking the experience.

  From the moment he’d arrived at the park in which they’d agreed to meet, she’d known from his lustful look that he thought she intended to pick up where they’d left off. Repulsed at the idea, she’d been quick to set him straight. Although she hadn’t expected him to be thrilled about the situation, she hadn’t been prepared for his outburst. A week later and she was still revolted by the words he’d uttered. She wondered how she’d ever found him remotely attractive. His real self was a far cry from the caring, concerned Dan that she’d encountered at the hospital on the night of Fee’s accident. The real Dan was an egotistical swine.

  She couldn’t understand why he was continuing to message her in order to meet. He’d made it more than clear to her already that he had no interest in her pregnancy. As far as he was concerned, a termination was the best way forward.

  Hearing footsteps outside the front door and a key being turned in the lock, Sylvia hastily returned her mobile to her handbag.

  “Sorry it took a while, there was a big queue. They missed the Chicken Kung Po off the order, so I had to wait for it to be cooked.” Phillip shook off his coat and set down the spicy fragranced bag of food on the dining table.

  “Smells delicious” Sylvia said, taking the foil cartons of food from inside and removing the lids.

  “Guess who I saw whilst getting the Chinese?”

  Sylvia sat down and began spooning food generously onto her plate, her appetite reappearing as the gentle aromas surrounded her.

  “You’re always bumping into people in that place. Who?”

  “Caitlin. Do you remember her? She presented Live on Five for a while. I think you may have done her makeup?” Phillip bit into a prawn cracker, crunching loudly.

  “Oh yes, I remember. She was lovely. Didn’t she leave to try to crack the US? I thought I’d heard that she went to live in LA.” Sylvia poured two glasses of orange juice and pushed one in Phillip’s direction. Sitting down at the table opposite Phillip, she picked up her cutlery.

  “She did but she was saying it wasn’t really for her. She missed London apparently.” Phillip raised an eyebrow. “If I’ve heard that once, I’ve heard it a thousand times.”

  Sylvia giggled. She had always found it fascinating that despite his huge success in the UK, Phillip had never been tempted to try his luck at breaking into the American market. She knew he’d certainly had the opportunity; only recently he’d been put forward to present Pop Rivals US. She harboured a suspicion he wasn’t willing to take the risk for fear of failure or rejection. His ego was stroked extensively thanks to the UK media. She wasn’t sure how he would handle being known as a mediocre presenter stateside.

  “I was telling her about us. She’d heard we were together. She couldn’t believe it when I told her about the baby.”

  Sylvia stopped chewing mid mouthful and looked up from her food in surprise.

  “You told her about the baby?”

  Phillip put down his fork. “I know we agreed to wait another month but I couldn’t help myself. Besides, we can trust Caitlin; she’s in the industry herself. She’s hardly going to sell the story to the press is she.”

  Feeling her throat tighten with anxiety, Sylvia found it difficult to speak. “But we agreed, Phillip.”

  Getting up from his seat, Phillip made his way around to her and propped himself beside her chair, brushing her hair tenderly from her face. “Darling, I’m so excited about this baby – I want to scream it from the rooftops! I’m sorry I told Caitlin. I shouldn’t have and I know that. But it slipped out.”

  Sylvia stared into Phillip’s face not knowing how to act or what to say. Four weeks, that’s what they’d agreed. Four weeks for her to remedy the situation and begin to plan her future with Phillip.

  “Say something then” Phillip urged with a trace of annoyance in his voice.

  “What do you expect me to say, Phillip?” Sylvia stared angrily at him. “I haven’t even told my parents yet because we agreed to keep it a secret. Yet you’ve just told someone we barely know.”

  She knew he thought she was over-reacting but she didn’t care. Despite him welcoming the idea of the baby more openly that she’d have ever imagined possible, she was irked that he’d shared her news before she was ready to.

  She was also terrified of the repercussions. Phillip had no idea she’d slept with Dan. What would happen if he realised there was a possibility that the child wasn’t even his? Although it was a slim probability, it was a matter she’d intended to address before they publically announced their news. She still had over a week before the doctor would allow her to test the paternity. Nine days in which she’d planned to get Dan to agree to the test. She was almost certain it wouldn’t be his child – as she’d expla
ined to him when they’d met. But there was still a niggling doubt.

  She wasn’t entirely sure what she hoped to achieve from the results but she felt she needed to know who the father was, for her own peace of mind. She wanted her child to grow up with two parents in a loving, secure environment and Phillip could help her to provide that. Being forearmed with the information of whether the child was his or not would surely help her to confirm if she could make her ideal a reality? Although she had every intention of keeping the knowledge from Phillip at this stage, she wasn’t sure if she could do that to him if it was revealed that Dan was the father.

  Except now, everything had been complicated. If her pregnancy became public news before she had an opportunity to confirm the paternity, there was the chance that Phillip’s reputation would be damaged in the worst case scenario. Not to mention his heart.

  “Let’s not argue.” Phillip returned to his seat and reached out to take her hand across the table. “I’ve made a mistake but it’s not the end of the world. Caitlin can be trusted, you know she isn’t a gossip. Our secret is safe, I promise.”

  Overcome with tiredness, Sylvia found herself nodding her head in agreement. She didn’t want to argue. She didn’t need any more stress. The damage had already been done. She’d slept with a man that wasn’t Phillip and now she was paying for her mistake.

  “Ok. Just promise me you won’t tell anybody else for the moment?”

  Phillip looked at her with sincerity. “I promise, darling.”

  Sylvia desperately hoped he meant it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Well all I can say is that is that I’m absolutely shocked” Glenda repeated, dusting a heavy silver photo frame.

  Zara watched as Glenda anxiously polished the frame before replacing it on the mantelpiece. She herself had been surprised by the news but she mostly felt excited. She couldn’t wait to see Felicity. “So has she booked the return flight yet?”

  Glenda set down the yellow dust cloth and picked up the polish, spraying the PVC window ledge. “Yes, she’s managed to get a late flight for Thursday evening. She said she arrives back into Heathrow on Saturday late morning. So I’m going to use her car to pick her up, save her getting a taxi.”

  “Oh Glen, I’m so excited. It feels like she’s been gone forever” Zara said, keeping her eye on Daisy who was playing quietly on the carpet with her toys. “I’ll have to pop round on Sunday and see her.”

  Glenda stopped polishing and sat down in Fee’s favourite armchair. If truth to be told, she was ecstatic that her daughter was returning early from Australia but she was also extremely nervous. After a lengthy discussion with Bill, she’d agreed that she’d finally tell Felicity all about their relationship during their next phone conversation. What she hadn’t expected was that phone conversation to begin with Fee telling her she was coming home!

  “Of course. I know she’s going to be thrilled to see you too. She said she was looking forward to getting home. The reason I’m so surprised is because I thought she was getting on rather well with Owen.”

  Zara nodded her head in agreement. “I know, I thought the same. Her emails have been very complimentary toward him. I was beginning to wonder if something might have started up between them.”

  Glenda tutted sadly. “That’s the thing, we both know Fee. Owen might have been a nice man for her, but she’s not going to entertain the idea of being with a voluntary worker, is she? Silly girl. I feel like knocking her head against a wall sometimes.”

  Daisy got up and walked over to Zara, putting her dummy in her mouth and pulling against Zara’s leggings. “Can we go home, Mummy?”

  Zara sighed. It was almost impossible to get any time to herself lately. She had been looking forward to her weekly catch up with Glenda at Fee’s house. It was nice to relax and keep her company whilst she went about her cleaning routine, but Daisy’s nursery being closed unexpectedly for the last two days had played havoc with her schedule. She’d even had to call the office yesterday and use one day of her leave allowance that she normally reserved for medical emergencies. It didn’t help that Steve had been working longer days. She’d hardly seen him of late.

  “Daisy, let Mummy and Auntie Glenda have some chat time. Go and watch the television for a while and we’ll go home after, Ok?”

  “Come here darling and I’ll put the television on for you” Glenda said taking a cushion from the sofa and putting it down in front of the TV. Daisy did as she was told and waited patiently as Glenda switched on the large LCD screen and located a cartoon channel. Daisy’s face lit up at the sight of the dancing pink and yellow banana on the screen.

  “That should keep her quiet. Let’s go and sit in the kitchen for a bit.”

  Walking into the other room, Glenda asked Zara about the situation with Steve since the hospital incident.

  Zara sat down at the dining table. “To be honest with you Glenda, I really feel like things have improved between us since we had a good chat about the baby. But the problem is his work situation.”

  Glenda opened the fridge and made a note to do a full shop in time for Fee’s arrival. She didn’t want her daughter returning home to empty cupboards. “What’s happening with his work then? I thought you said things had picked up for him?”

  “They have. He landed that new contract with a big developer in West London. Yet I’ve hardly seen him since. When he is home, things are good. He’s more talkative and we are getting along much better. But the problem is, every night for the past week he’s had to work late.”

  Glenda joined Zara and sat down, taking time out for a moment. “You should say something to him, love. You’re almost eight months pregnant now. He knows how hard it’s been on you this time around. You can’t do it all by yourself.” She patted Zara’s arm sympathetically. “When is your maternity leave starting?”

  “That’s my saving grace. I go on my leave at the end of next week. So I’m hoping that will ease things a bit. I also want to go out and get a few more boy’s bits. Everything we’d bought to this point was neutral but now we now that the little one is on his way, we can be a bit more indulgent.” Zara gently patted her huge stomach.

  “Well after next week, you’ll have time to rest yourself a bit more. I’m just pleased things are improved between you two, even if Steve has to work more. I really couldn’t believe what you told me about the cheating suspicion. Honestly love, the pair of you are so good together. It’s nice to hear that you’re working through your problems.”

  Zara contemplated Glenda’s words. Steve really had been making much more of an effort in the past couple of weeks. He seemed more affectionate towards her and there had been lots of unexpected compliments from him, not to mention small gestures of romance. She wasn’t sure if it was partly due to the excitement at having the son he’d always longed for but she didn’t care. What mattered was that despite his heavier workload, their family was a unit again. Any suspicions she’d had, had been discarded. She needed to look to the future and they’d be doing it together.

  “How are things with you and Bill? I’m assuming you still haven’t told Fee about him because she hasn’t mentioned anything to me about it in her emails?”

  Glenda picked at her thumbnail distractedly, aware that her anxiety was once again building. “Oh Zara, I’m so worried about how she’s going to react. I had built up the courage to break the news to her over the phone the other day, but then of course she begins by telling me she’s returning.”

  Zara bit down on her lip. Glenda had been given more than enough time to enlighten Fee on her new relationship with Bill, she should have acted upon it far sooner. Fee would be furious for being kept in the dark for the past eight weeks. She tried to soothe Glenda’s fears.

  “You need to do it as soon as she gets home, Glen. She might be more understanding than you expect. After all, we’ve both noticed she seems to have changed quite a bit while she’s been over there in Australia.”

  Glenda looked at Za
ra. “You’re right. She might be ok about it mightn’t she? It’s not only that though…” she trailed off, looking down in embarrassment.

  Zara leaned forward curiously. “What is it then?”

  “I didn’t really want to say anything because it’s not all signed and sealed yet, but Bill’s been offered a job in Cambridge.”

  “Oh, I see” Zara replied quietly. Why hadn’t Glenda said something earlier? No wonder she was anxious if her relationship with Bill was on the rocks. Zara felt her heart go out to Glenda. She hadn’t seen her looking so happy in years; it was a shame to think that the happiness could be short lived. “Are you ok about it? It’s not too far away I suppose” she said carefully.

  Glenda smiled sadly. Zara’s response was exactly as she’d expected, but it wasn’t Zara’s fault, it was her own. She’d had her boundaries blurred for far too long. People saw her as the kind, anxious Glenda who’d do anything to help others. It was time for her to change that view. She wanted to start being seen as the happy-go-lucky Glenda who took chances. The Glenda that put herself first.

  “Actually, love, that’s not what I meant.”

  “Oh, sorry. I thought you said Bill was moving away?” Zara looked at her in confusion.

  Glenda took a deep breath. If she was going to have to face her daughter, she needed to have enough courage to face Zara first.

  “Yes, he is” she began, putting her hands out on the table in front of her. “But what I meant is that I’m moving with him. He’s asked me to accompany him in Cambridge and I’ve said yes.”

  Bizarrely, she felt a sense of empowerment at speaking the words aloud. It hadn’t been half as hard as she’d expected. She looked at Zara’s shocked expression and giggled.

  “You can pick your jaw up from the floor now.”

  Zara laughed and stood up, coming around to reach Glenda and hug her. “Oh Glen, I can’t believe it! Cambridge! I’m so happy for you. When did you decide?”