by Tamie Dearen
Mark took a cell phone call, backing around the corner for privacy and leaving James to his thoughts. It occurred to James he hadn’t asked God for His opinion on the new job, despite having pledged to give God control of his life. Reluctantly, he voiced a silent inquiry.
God... I’m assuming You wouldn’t give me this opportunity if You didn’t want me to take it. Is that right? I realize most of my coworkers aren’t believers, but I can be a witness for You, if I’m here. And if I tithe, You’ll be getting a bigger cut, as well.
He waited to hear God’s voice, but nothing happened.
Listen, God, I’m not good with subtle signs. Unless you knock me over the head with something, I’m taking Your silence as a yes.
He walked into a corner office, running his fingers across the soft leather on the desk chair. He pulled the chair out and lowered himself onto the chair, testing the levers and adjusting for comfort.
Under the desk, something on the floor caught his eye. Something shiny, like a gold coin. He reached for the coin, slamming his forehead against the edge of the desk.
“Ow!” he yelled, pressing his fingers against the lump already forming, as pain throbbed in his head like an icepick.
Determined to retrieve the coin, he edged it out with the toe of his dress shoe. The gold coin turned out to be an empty chocolate wrapper.
“Are you okay?” asked Mark, peering into the office, “I heard you yell.”
Still holding his smarting head in one hand and the empty wrapper in the other, James let out a hearty laugh. “Yes. I’m good.” He pulled his hand away, spying blood on his fingers, and laughed again. Okay, God, I got the message.
“Fine, then,” said Mark. “We should be going. We need to go over your contract and get things finalized.”
“Mark...” James stood and closed the space between them, stretching out his hand. “Thank you for the offer, but I don’t want to waste any more of your time.”
“You’re turning us down?” Mark’s mouth opened so wide, Dr. Madison could’ve performed a root canal.
“I’m afraid so. This is an amazing offer, but it’s not a good fit for me right now.”
“What if we sweetened the pot a little? Say... another $10,000, plus a car allowance?”
“See, the problem is I don’t think this is a good place for my family.”
“Your family?”
“Yes. My wife, our baby, and a really big dog.”
“I... I’m confused.” He blinked rapidly, like there was something in his eye. “I thought you were single.”
“I am,” James replied, as he pulled out his phone to book the next available flight to Denver. “But not for long.”
STRETCHED OUT ON THE floor like a fluffy black rug, Fezzik warmed himself under the sunrays filtering through the window. Shara lowered herself beside him, sitting cross-legged.
Ignoring the urge to grab the carpet cleaner and spot treat the stained throw rug, she stroked his soft fur, happy when she didn’t come away with a handful. “Looks like it helped to use that grooming comb on you today.”
Fezzik answered with a lazy wag of his tail, watching her through a tiny slit in one eye. At forty-five pounds, he wasn’t exactly puppy-sized, but he still had those huge paws, foretelling future growth.
“I agree. A nap sounds good.” She lay all the way down, using Fez as a pillow, and continued her one-sided conversation. “Looks like it’s only going to be you and me, Fez. But that’s okay, right? Boys are a lot of trouble.”
She reached over her head to give his tummy a rub. “No offense, Fez. Boy dogs are an exception. I was referring to boy people.”
He groaned and shifted to expose more of his stomach.
“Sorry, boy. That’s as far as I can reach in this position.” She glanced down at her belly, exposed when she lifted her arms over her head. There could be no doubt it was slightly protruding. A strange mixture of joy and panic struck, and she tugged her shirt down to cover it.
She’d had no recurrence of the terrible cramping from Tuesday. A week later there was still a small amount of bleeding. Her doctor assured her it was perfectly normal, but she was ready to head to the ER at a moment’s notice, with Mack and Mandy on call, along with Noelle and David.
According to Noelle, James had called and texted from New York, bugging her for updates on Shara, until she put her foot down on Saturday, insisting he “put on his big boy pants and call Shara himself.” Since then, he’d made a few polite inquiries via text, but the interchange had been stilted and awkward. Shara was doing her best to forget James Christian ever existed. A difficult prospect, considering she was carrying his child.
Though it was nice to have the week off, she had a hard time resting, as the doctor ordered, since being idle promoted depression. So she was thrilled when Mandy called and proposed dinner at The Treehouse, a dog friendly, patio restaurant. Disappointed they weren’t planning to watch the city fireworks, at least she wouldn’t be alone on New Year’s Eve.
“You think it will be crowded?” Shara asked, wondering what she should wear to stay warm at the outside eatery.
“Probably. But we’ve got a reservation at nine. The hostess said there’s a heater at every table.”
“I’ll be ready.”
“And Shara, you should dress up a little... we’re going to take pictures.”
“Why don’t I take the pictures? That way I don’t have to be in them.”
“No, Mack says he wants you and Fezzik in the pictures. He plans to use them in his social media promotions. He thinks Fez pictures will help him sell a lot of insurance.”
“Okay.” She was willing to do anything to help Mack, since the couple had done so much for her. She was already planning to start attending their Bible study group in January.
In the back of her closet she found a dressy cobalt blue sweater she’d bought the previous year. She slipped it on, pleased with the way it brought out the blue of her blue-green eyes. Sweeping her blond hair up in a messy bun, she touched up her makeup and pronounced herself done. Knowing James was 1,700 miles away, she didn’t care as much about her appearance.
Once again, she wondered what might’ve happened had she told James about the baby when she first discovered her pregnancy. The futile chain of thought invaded her brain on a daily basis. How many times had she beaten herself up for keep the baby a secret?
“It’s water under the bridge,” Noelle had said, as if a person couldn’t drown as easily on either side of a bridge.
“I hate that phrase,” Shara complained. “Why not something pleasant like, It’s chocolate inside the belly?”
“The Bible says you shouldn’t worry,” Noelle added.
“How helpful. I’ll just turn off that worry button.” She let the sarcasm drip from her words. “Thanks for letting me know.”
“Where is that sweet, compliant Shara who used to agree with everything I said?” Noelle gave a wink to emphasize her teasing.
“I killed her and hid the body. I’m her evil twin, Shera.”
“Well, Shera, I believe God is in control. Even if James isn’t around, you’ve got a family. That kid...” She pointed to Shara’s abdomen. “That kid is my niece or nephew. By the way, we’re going to have a gender reveal party for you, like we did for Baby Blue.” This was their chosen code name for the boy Noelle carried.
A knock on the door signaled Mack and Mandy’s arrival and pulled Shara from her reverie. “Come on, Fez. Let’s go out to eat. You’re my date, tonight, and you might as well get used to it.” She clipped on his leash, wrapped in red, white, and blue braided ribbon for the occasion. “I wish you could drive.”
THE HAPPY MOOD AT THE Treehouse was contagious, and Shara found herself laughing for the first time in a week. A new year. A new start. A new life growing inside her. New friends. New family. New faith. And God had promised to make her a new creature, though He seemed a little slow at effecting any discernable change. Still, the knowledge that God accepted and
valued her as she was, gave her courage to face the future.
She didn’t need James Christian in order to be happy. She could be a good mother without him. She didn’t need him at all. Nor did she miss him. She was glad he was gone to New York where she wouldn’t have to see him.
“Shara? Are you okay? Why are you crying?” Mandy was watching her, with pity in her eyes.
“Oh!” She snagged a napkin and pressed it on her face, trying not to smear her mascara. “I didn’t even realize. I was thinking about... you know... sad things. I’m sorry about that. I’ll stop.”
Mandy put a comforting hand on her arm and leaned closer. “Are you thinking about James?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. That man ruined my Christmas. I’m not about to let him ruin my New Year.”
“But maybe he’s sorry,” Mandy said, elbowing her husband. “Right, Mack? Don’t you think James might be sorry for hurting Shara’s feelings?”
“Oh... yeah... for sure.” Mack turned all kinds of interesting shades of red.
“You don’t have to defend him, Mack.” Shara felt bad for the guy. After all, James had practically accused him of sleeping with Shara. “He’s out of my life forever.”
Mandy cleared her throat. “He can’t exactly be out of your life, can he? I mean, he’s the father of your child.”
As always, Shara tried to avoid talking about the pregnancy when she was around Mandy, worried she would be reminded of her miscarriages.
“We should change the subject.” Shara yanked on Fezzik’s leash, trying to get him back under the table and out of the aisle. “Let’s talk about your New Year resolutions.”
“I’ve got a good one,” Mandy said, folding her napkin in her lap. “I resolve to always give people a second chance. After all, God gives us plenty of chances. He’s always ready to forgive.”
“That’s admirable.” Shara wasn’t in a particularly forgiving mood, but she had nothing against the sentiment. “What’s wrong with this dog? He was being so good when we first got here, and now I can’t get him to settle down. He’s too young to notice a dog in heat, isn’t he?”
“Why don’t we have a blessing?” Mandy suggested. “Mack, why don’t you pray?”
“But we haven’t even ordered our food,” Shara protested while manually reeling in the leash. She grabbed Fezzik and hauled him into her lap. He was getting so big, he barely fit.
“I think a blessing is a good idea,” said Mack, grabbing Mandy’s hand.
“Okay. Whatever you guys want.” Shara closed her eyes, still grappling with the protesting dog in her lap. She wondered if there would be another blessing after the food came.
“Dear God,” Mack prayed in a loud voice. “Thank you so much for this New Year. Thank you for second chances. Thank you for forgiveness. Thank you for our new friend, Shara. And thank you for helping her to forgive, too. Amen.”
That was the weirdest blessing. He didn’t even mention the food.
“There’s our waiter.” Mandy smiled, looking over Shara’s shoulder, and Fezzik squirmed in her arms, yelping with excitement.
“May I take your order?”
The deep voice sent chill bumps rippling down her arms. It can’t be... She whipped her head around. James, wearing a tuxedo.
So unfair. Who can resist a man in a tux? She flashed her turncoat friends a condemning look, but they smiled as if everything was hunky-dory.
When Fezzik continued to demand attention, James relented, reaching down to rub his head. But his gaze never left Shara.
“Hello, Shara. You look beautiful tonight.”
She ignored his compliment. “What are you doing here? I thought you were in New York.”
“Flew back tonight.”
“Oh.” She glued her eyes to the menu, though she might as well have been reading a foreign language. None of the words made sense in her frazzled brain. How dare he show up and ruin her New Year’s Eve?
“Listen, I may eventually be able to forgive you, but not any time soon. I need space. I need time to get over you and forget you and figure out my life.” She refused to look up, no matter how he goaded her. She couldn’t resist those imploring blue eyes.
“But I don’t want you to get over me, or forget me. I’ve already figured out your life. It’s with me.”
“I’m not doing this, James.”
“What aren’t you doing?”
“I always let people push me around, especially men. But not anymore. For once, I’m growing a spine.”
“I happen to like your spine.” He bent over and said the words in her ear, simultaneously running his thumb up her backbone.
She jumped about as high as the streetlights. “Stop that!”
“I’m trying to get you to look at me.”
“I’m not going to.”
“Not even if I do this?”
He dropped to his knee, and someone at a nearby table cried out, “Look! He’s proposing!”
“Get up,” Shara urged though barely moving lips. “People are looking.”
“Let them look,” said James.
Her distraction must’ve made her loosen her grip on Fezzik, because he lunged out of her lap, landing on James and knocking him to the ground. Laughter erupted from the surrounding tables, all of which seemed to center their attention on Shara and James.
Chuckling, he held out Fezzik’s leash to Sam, while wearing a sheepish expression. “I hate to ask for another favor, but would you mind?”
Sam displayed a toothy smile as he took control of Fezzik. “Course not. Anything for a friend. Particularly, a friend buying as much insurance as you promised to buy.” Only when Sam winked at her, did Shara realize she was staring at him with a shocked expression.
James crawled back to his one-kneed position.
“Don’t you dare propose to me, James,” she muttered, in a voice only he could hear. “I love you, but I can’t trust you. You didn’t even tell me you were moving to New York.”
“Shara, I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I let you down. But do you see this cut on my forehead?”
She gasped when he pushed his hair up off his face, revealing an angry red gash and a substantial bump.
“That’s where God knocked some sense into me today. A few weeks ago, I told God I would let Him have control of my life, but until today, that didn’t happen. I called my brother and, for once, I listened to him. Now I understand what it takes to be the husband you deserve. When I lay down my life for you, Shara, I’m not giving up my life. I’m gaining it. It’s like pouring out muddy brine so I can fill up with fresh clean water. I’m getting rid of all the stuff I thought I needed, because all I need is you.”
The nearby tables were quiet now, listening to his monologue. Shara felt her face heating and her resolve melting to mush.
“I love you, Shara. I know it’s hard for you to trust, hard to believe. But I really love you. It’s way more than a feeling. It’s a commitment. It’s like I jumped from an airplane and there’s no going back. It’s done. Just like Jesus laid down His life for us, I’m already laying down mine for you. If you want, you can trample me on the ground. I deserve it. But if you take my hand, I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”
Shara was crying. Pregnancy hormones? Or simply that she never believed she would hear words like that directed at her? Any remaining reservations were washed away with her tears.
And when she held out her hand and he slipped a ring on her finger, she was barely thinking. Her mind flooded with dizzying emotions.
His next move destroyed all rational thought. He stood and took her hands, lifting her to her feet. His palms cupped her face and his mouth dipped to hers, brushing her lips with a feathery touch that left her wanting more.
“I love you, Shara,” he whispered. “I love you forever.”
Then he kissed her, sweet and tender. Caressing her lips. Loving her soul. He filled her heart until she could barely breath. She clung to him for balance as her knees c
rumpled, but he held her up. She knew then, he would never let her go. He deepened the kiss, fingers tangling in her hair, and electricity exploded behind her eyes.
Shara got her fireworks, after all.
Epilogue
James gazed at the wriggling infant in his arms, his heart so full, he thought it might burst open.
“Mrs. Christian...” His gaze fell on his wife, her thick blond hair splayed across the pillow. “Have I told you today how much I love you?”
Her clear blue eyes crinkled in the corners as she gave him an indulgent smile. “Only about ten times. But that’s okay—I never get tired of hearing it.”
“Someone once told me a woman needs to hear it every day, so I’m trying to be proactive. I’m also thinking it all day, every day, even when I’m not saying it.”
“I love you, too.” Her voice cracked with emotion.
He lifted the sleeping baby to his ear. “What’s that? Oh... yes, I’ll tell her.” He turned to Shara with a serious expression. “Our son wants you to know, he thinks you’re the most beautiful mother in the world.” He shifted the infant to the crook of his arm, careful to support his head, then reached his hand out to brush her face with his fingers. “I happen to agree with him.”
She addressed the infant in his arms. “Well, thank you, Solomon James Christian. I see you’re a smooth talker, like your dad.”
James cleared his throat. “Speaking of smooth talkers, your dad pulled me aside before he left. Wanted to talk to me, man-to-man.”
Shara scrunched her nose and covered her eyes with both hands. “What did he say?”
“Ready for this?” James kept a straight face as he paused, prolonging her torturous wait. “He told me congratulations and said how proud he was. Then he warned me I better treat you right.”
“You’re not kidding? He didn’t ask for any money?” She peeked between her fingers. “Or say anything humiliating?”
“Nope. He still hasn’t asked for a dime since the franchise opened and is doing such a booming business.” When Solomon squirmed, James began to sway, rocking him in his arms. “I still can’t believe Man Hands is a success, after I made such fun of the name.”