Shattered (Shattered Souls MC Book 1)

by Heather Dahlgren

  “My daughter will not be in bed with a Shattered Soul, especially Zane Madden. He’s a scumbag criminal and the right hand man of his uncle. I shouldn’t need to tell you this shit. You know it’s not something that can happen. Too much at risk.” He doesn’t take his eyes off me. His cigar is burning away in the ashtray as his hands sit clenched on the table. He’s pissed, but I’m more pissed.

  “You talk to me like I’m fucking seventeen years old. I’m twenty-five, a grown ass woman, and in case you forgot, I run this strip club. Don’t treat me like a defenseless, naive girl. We both know that’s long gone. I know the risks, why the hell do you think I walked away from him? It was years ago, a teenage bullshit love story. Romeo and Juliet, and we know how that story ended. I’m not going to take his dagger and do myself in.” I stand up and slam the chair against the table. “Handle your fucking business and stop worrying about what I’m not doing.”

  Before I can get out, he grabs my arm and slaps me across the face. Fuck, it hurts. I want to cry, but instead I just hold my hand to where he hit me. I will never show him weakness.

  “Remember who you’re talking to, little girl,” he says, staring me down.

  There’s nothing to say, I just walk out of the room and back to my office. I’m done with this shit. I pack it up and head home. When I get there I look at my face in the bathroom mirror. It’s gonna be nice and bruised. I blow out a breath and go into the kitchen and pour myself a shot of vodka. One shot leads to four and I sit down on the couch. I start to think of Z. Of all the time we spent together. All the years of complaining about my father and his uncle. It was easy, just two kids leaning on each other. I miss that. I miss the way he made me feel. The true love we felt for each other. The sex, damn, the sex was the best I’ve had. Unfortunately, I have a lot to compare it to. I wasn’t always the one running the strip club. I paid my dues, sleeping with members, making money using my body. I’m not proud, but you do what you gotta do.

  I remember one time Z walked in when I was giving head to one of the guys my father owed money to. I was given as payment instead. When he saw it, he beat the guy to within an inch of his life. I was so grateful and so turned on. I wish I could say my father saw it as him protecting me from all the evil, but he didn’t. To him, Zane was interfering with his business. For the first time in years tears run down my face. It hurts me that something so good can be so deadly.

  Chapter 3

  Zane

  I wake up with Daisy tangled around me. It wasn’t her I wanted, but I needed to fuck out my frustration. She was there.

  “Come on, sweetheart. You gotta get outta here,” I say, getting out of bed to go shower.

  The water pounds on me, releasing my tight muscles, but stinging my face. Kingsley’s guys had to make a point. I didn’t mention to Brooks or Enzo that it was because I punched him. I let them believe it was because of our presence in their joint. It’s getting tense around here, which is never good. Brooks is gonna want Kingsley’s heart on a stake and Kingsley is gonna want Brooks’. Shit is gonna get worse before it gets better. It makes staying away from Harper that much easier and that much harder.

  I know the shit her father does to pay off his debts. He uses her like a fucking object. Has her do things that no father should be alright with. The need to protect her outweighs the risk of taking a bullet. She’s the one that pulls away and I get it. I know it’s survival. It’s what we all do. I push her away to protect her. To make the decision of walking away easier for her. It’s better she hates me, because if we gave in to the way we feel...fuck, it would all crumble around us.

  I step out of the shower and wrap the towel around my waist. Daisy is still lying in my bed and I’m less than patient now. I kick the bed and she jumps up.

  “I said get out.”

  “Damn Z, you’re so fucking hot and cold,” she says, grabbing her clothes off my floor.

  As I step into a pair of boxers, I look over at her. “You’re a good fuck, Daisy. Don’t confuse it with something more.”

  “Such an asshole,” she mumbles.

  “Maybe you should remember that,” I reply, pulling a black T-shirt over my head. “If you can’t fuck without feelings, I’ll find someone else.”

  She walks over to me, fully dressed and wraps her arms around me. “No, I like knowing your big cock is just mine.”

  I laugh and push her off of me. “Don’t kid yourself. My big cock belongs to me and I’ll stick it in anyone I want. It’s not just you, sweetheart. Just like I know you had Reid’s dick down your throat the other night. Don’t pretend this is something else.”

  She grabs her purse and storms out of the house. I need to find someone less complicated. She thinks this is gonna turn into something. I have enough complicated, I don’t need fucking to be one of them.

  I slip on my cut, light a smoke, and grab my phone. Before I can call my mom to see how she's doing, it rings in my hand. “Yeah,” I answer.

  “Get to Souls, we need to talk,” Brooks demands and hangs up.

  I get to the club and walk in. The place is covered in sleeping bodies. Some dressed, some not. It smells like stale cigarettes, beer, and pussy. Just a usual Sunday morning.

  I walk into the room that all decisions are made. Brooks is sitting at the head of the table waiting for me. I light a cigarette and sit down. “What’s going on?”

  “I heard you were up close and personal with Harper Kingsley.” He leans back in his chair and I know he’s waiting to see if I’m going to give him some line of bullshit.

  “Yeah, and?” I retort, taking a long drag of my smoke.

  “Cut the shit, Z,” he says, clearly losing the little patience he has for me.

  I smash out my cigarette and run my hands through my hair. “Brooks, it’s not your concern.”

  He laughs a manic laugh and leans closer to me. “Everything that happens in my club is my concern.”

  “When it comes to our club, yeah it does. This, what you’re talking about, has nothing to do with you or this club.”

  “That pussy is clouding your vision,” he hisses.

  The urge to reach over and rip his black heart out of his chest is overwhelming. Instead, I lean back in my chair and grin. “You’re always so worried about my dick. Is it jealousy or do you want it?”

  He stands up so quickly the chair smashes to the floor. He grabs me by the collar of my shirt and just before his fist connects with my face, Enzo rushes in.

  “What the fuck is going on?” he yells, taking in the scene.

  Brooks releases me and I straighten my shirt. “All good VP,” I state, never looking away from Brooks.

  “Give us a minute,” Brooks says.

  “Fucking hell,” he grumbles and walks out.

  “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, Z. That’s not why I called you here. I think you and Harper are a good idea,” he says, lighting a smoke.

  My uncle has never once wanted to do anything in my favor. Especially not something that could possibly make me happy. He’s fucking lying. “Bullshit.”

  “No bullshit, Zane. I want you with Harper. I want you two as close as you used to be,” he says with a full smile.

  He wants us together. He wants us close. As soon as I think it through, it hits me. “Oh fuck no.”

  “Yes,” he simply says.

  “I’m not going to put her in danger for you or anyone. I refuse to do it.” He’s lost his goddamn mind.

  “Z, this is our way in. The only way in. You get close, she lets her guard down, and starts spilling secrets. We can finally get Kingsley out of here and take back what’s ours.”

  I shake my head and scrub my face. He’s right. I fucking hate it, but he is. This would be the only way in. The only real way in. The fallout of it all, though, shit. Kingsley will kill Harper while I watch and then kill me. It’s a fucking horrible plan.

  “I don’t think I’ll be able to even convince her to talk to me, never mind do all that,” I say, meaning
every word. She’s not going to fall into my arms, grateful I want to start shit up again. She’s gonna fight it. Even if I do get her back into my bed, the odds of her telling me anything about her club, it’s about the same odds as me telling her.

  Brooks gets up and slaps me on the back. “You’re always talking about how great your dick is. You’ll get her in bed and you’ll get her talking.”

  “This isn’t going to happen overnight,” I say, blowing out a sigh.

  “Don’t expect it to. We’ll lay low, make him think we’ve backed off. When he least expects it, we’ll make our move.”

  I close my eyes and grab his arm when he tries to leave. “This can never blow back on her. He’ll slit her throat without a second thought. I won’t be the fucking reason she’s dead,” I whisper.

  “It won’t,” he says.

  I grip his arm tighter, letting him know how serious I am. “Brooks, please, as my uncle and my president, promise me.”

  “I promise Zane,” he reiterates.

  I rest my head in my hands after he leaves. I know we’ll vote on this. Nothing happens in this club without a vote. It’s like putting my personal life up for a vote. I fucking hate it, but I don’t see any other way. I get my shit together and leave, calling Kace on my way out.

  “Hey,” he answers.

  “Meet me at my house in ten,” I say and hang up.

  I jump on my Harley and peel out of Souls. My head is all over the place. The good, the bad, the victory, the defeat. I need to think clearly and Kace is who I turn to. Kace or pussy, but pussy doesn’t usually give me answers. Not the ones I’m looking for anyway.

  When I get to my house, Kace is already there. He gets off his bike and meets me. “Everything alright?”

  “I have no idea, brother.”

  We get inside and I tell him everything that happened with Brooks. He hasn’t said anything so we sit in silence.

  “Shit,” he finally mumbles.

  “Fuck, I know.”

  He runs his hand over the scruff on his face. “I’m not gonna tell you what to do. It’s genius and it’s reckless.”

  “You don’t need to tell me, brother. You fucking know it’s gonna be voted on and everyone is gonna be in. I can’t destroy her, Kace,” I plead.

  “Z, if you do this, no matter what the outcome is, you’re gonna lose her. Kingsley will kill her or she’ll kill you,” he explains.

  I blow out a breath and nod. “I’ll just have to make sure she kills me.”

  “No, fuck this. I’m gonna vote against it. I’m finally back, finally know I’m not dying. I’m not gonna lose you over some bullshit idea. I know you love her, Z. You always have. But, it’s not worth your life or hers,” he says, pacing the floor.

  “I thought you weren’t gonna tell me what to do,” I joke.

  He flips me off and continues to pace. “I’m not telling you what to do. I’m telling you what I’m gonna do.”

  “Doesn’t matter. It doesn’t need to be a unanimous vote. Not for something like this. I need you to vote it in,” I say, passing him a joint.

  “Why?” He takes a hit of the joint, handing it back.

  I grin and grab it. “Because even if only for a while, I’ll have Harper.”

  “You’re a goddamn idiot, you know that right?” he asks with a laugh.

  “I’m well aware.”

  Later that night we are all around the table. Brooks is dragging it out, making it a point to keep it for last. I keep glancing at Kace and he nods. He knows how it needs to play out, no matter how fucking hard it is.

  “I talked with Z earlier,” Brooks begins. “We came up with a plan that needs a vote.” As he explains everything to them, I keep my eyes on the table in front of me. I’m already pissed that Brooks said ‘we’ like I sat there with him and planned this. He wants to make sure if shit happens, they all know it was partly my idea. “So let's vote.”

  It’s all yesses around the table. Enzo, Porter, Reid, Damon. Then it comes to Kace. He stalls, making all of us look at him.

  “Kace,” I say, catching his attention.

  He says yes and it continues on to Alex, then me. It’s unanimous. We leave the room and Tyler and Finn, the new prospects, start handing out drinks.

  “You really good with this, brother?” Damon asks, sipping his beer.

  I glance at Kace before turning to Damon. “I’m good with it, brother.”

  “Here’s to taking down Kingsley,” Enzo toasts.

  Here’s to losing my life for this club, I think to myself. I knew I’d die for this club, one way or another. Better me than her though.

  Chapter 4

  Harper

  I pull into my driveway and my lights hit Z’s bike. My heart skips a beat, but when I smile, I’m reminded by the pain in my face why this is a horrible idea. I slam my car door and he crosses to me.

  “Have you lost your goddamn mind? Get out of here,” I demand, trying to walk past him.

  He doesn’t allow it and gently grabs my arm, keeping me to his side. “Relax, Harp, no one saw me.”

  “Oh well thank fuck, all is right in the world now,” I say, yanking my arm from his hold. “Between my father and your uncle, someone knows you’re here. I know damn well you aren’t that stupid.”

  He gives me that smile of his that makes my panties wet and runs his hand down my arm, slowly sending chills along my skin. “What the hell happened to the girl who didn’t give a shit? The one who once told me that what we had was worth risking it all?”

  “She’s long gone,” I whisper, sad at the thought. “Go, Z, before you make shit worse.”

  “Come on, Harper. One night. I’ll make sure nothing bad happens,” he says, turning my face to his. “What the fuck?”

  I push him away from me and turn my head. “Bad shit always happens, Z. Now go.”

  “Who did that to you?” he nearly shouts.

  “Same person who’s gonna make it a lot worse if he sees you here. No one night, no more stopping by my house. Please, Zane, just stay away,” I plead.

  “I’ll fucking kill him,” he hisses, jumping on his bike.

  I rush to stand in front of it and place my hands on his. “You know damn well that will just make shit worse. I’m fine. It’s not the first time or the last I’ll take a slap.”

  “Get on,” he says, handing me a helmet.

  “Are you fucking deaf or just stupid?”

  He revs his engine and grins. “Get on or I’ll ride this bike into your fucking strip club right now.”

  I’d like to say he’s full of shit, but I know all too well he isn’t. I close my eyes and think for a second. “I need to go turn some lights on. Dom will be driving by at some point and if it’s dark he’ll come knocking.”

  He doesn’t say anything, just nods. This is a horrible idea, I’ll get more than just a smack across the face this time. But, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to see where he takes me.

  Once I get everything taken care of, I lock the door and grab the helmet from him. I slide on behind him and when my arms wrap around his waist I’m transported back. Back to when this was what we did every night. We’d ride around for hours, staying away from everyone. It was time to think, time to clear our heads, time for just us. Eventually, he’d take us to this small lake, far out of town. No one ever knew about that place, it was ours. When shit went bad, that’s where we’d find the other one. We had sex for the first time there, had our first real fight. Laughed, cried, dreamed.

  I haven’t been there in a long time and as we continue to drive, butterflies erupt in my stomach when I realize that’s exactly where we’re going. I hold on tighter and he rests his hand on mine. I don’t know what the hell this is all about, but at the moment, I’m just going to enjoy being pressed against him.

  He pulls into the secluded area and when he shuts off his bike, the only sound around us is the water and crickets. We climb off and I hand him my helmet. He takes my hand and silently we walk towar
d the water. The moonlight is bouncing off of it, giving us an abundant amount of light. He directs me to a tree, our tree.

  “I can’t believe this tree is still standing,” I say, looking up at it in wonder.

  “Some things stand the test of time, babe.”

  I laugh and turn to face him. “Is that a new line?”

  His shoulders shrug and his mouth turns down. “Not a line, just the truth.”

  With that, he steps toward me until my back hits the tree. It’s rough on my bare shoulders, but Z’s eyes boring into me hurt more. There’s pain and sorrow in them. Before I can question him, his mouth collides with mine and I don’t fight it. I’ve done nothing but crave it since the other day. My hands wrap around his neck and his grab onto my hair. He deepens the kiss and it makes me feel things I’ve long buried. Not just for him, but feelings all together. I can’t have them or I’ll never survive. But, right now. I’m feeling it all.

  He breaks the kiss and rests his forehead on mine. “I’ve missed you,” he whispers, keeping his hands in my hair.

  “What are you doing, Zane?” I ask. This will get us both killed.

  “I know you’ve missed me too,” he replies.

  He’s right. I have, everyday. “And?”

  “And,” he hoarsely says in my ear, before kissing down to my neck. I instinctively turn my head to give him better access. He takes that and begins kissing and sucking on me. My hands move up to his hair, as his move down, taking my strapless shirt with him. My tits are now exposed, my nipples hard, and I watch while he takes them in. “Fuck.” He takes his time. His mouth touching every inch of my breasts, moving toward my nipples. He bites me and then quickly places a kiss in the same spot. It’s turning me on more than I can remember, that is until his mouth sucks on my nipple. I have no control of the way my body reacts. I tighten my hold on his hair, keeping him there. My hips thrust forward and a loud moan echoes around us. My head falls back, hitting the tree and I don’t give a shit. I hardly feel it while Zane is worshipping my tits.