Shattered (Shattered Souls MC Book 1)

by Heather Dahlgren

  “Harper,” Zane says, pulling me out of my sad thoughts.

  “I’m scared, Z. I’m scared to be here, I’m scared to be with you, but I’m terrified to lose you,” I finally admit.

  “Babe, don’t be scared. If you lose me, it’s because I lay my life down for you. That’s the only way it’ll happen. I told you, here you are welcome.”

  “Am I?” I question.

  His brows dip down as he turns his head slightly. “What the hell does that mean?”

  “Brooks saying it was great to see me, with a smile. I didn’t even know that asshole had the muscles to smile. Makes me question shit,” I say.

  He laughs and kisses me quickly. “That shit had nothing to do with you. He was counting money before we walked out. It’s the only thing that makes him smile.”

  “I can really be here?”

  “I wouldn’t let you if you couldn’t. You’re safe here, babe. Nothing bad will happen to you. No one will touch you or hurt you. I’m not the only one who loves you in this place,” he says.

  It touches me. I know it’s true though. I may be the enemy, but I wasn’t always. They know both sides. It’s like how I feel about them. I love them, I grew up with them. We’ve laughed, cried, drank, and had countless dinners together. Once my father pulled me in, there was nothing I could do. I had to stay away. It wasn’t a choice. But, it doesn’t make me feel any differently toward this club. They tried to pull me away, keep me safe. Sometimes, I wish I would’ve let it happen.

  “I still have to work, Z,” I say with a laugh.

  “You’re not a hostage. You can come and go whenever you want. I’d rather have you come on so many different levels,” he says with a wink. “But, I’ll take what I can get.”

  I stare at him before grabbing his hands. “You really want this? Because it’s not a game. We can’t talk about club shit, which will be hard. I’m asking, can you handle it all?”

  “I want this more than you’ll ever understand, Harper. I can’t stop what happens between our clubs, you know that. But, I can promise to protect you through whatever shit happens. You need to accept that,” he explains.

  “I do.”

  “Do you? Because I’m not going to hide when your old man gets back, Harper. I won’t start shit, but I’m not gonna back down either,” he says.

  I reluctantly sit down on the bed. There’s so much shit running through my head, I can’t even stand. This is such a bad idea, the worst idea. My father will kill him while I watch. I know that in my soul. But, my heart tells me to give in to what I want most. Zane. He’ll never be welcome in my club. He’ll never be greeted with fake smiles and hugs. He’ll be beaten or shot. I can’t live with the thought that he dies because of me.

  I glance up at his handsome face. There’s no one else that can make me feel the way he does. It’s not just the sexual attraction, which in itself would be enough. It’s the way I feel safe with him. I’m always looking over my shoulder, and always have my guard up. Except when I’m with him. Maybe it’s what keeps me coming back, I don’t know. I just know that if I leave again, I will return. It’s how our story goes...until death do us part.

  My eyes lock with his. “I don’t want to be the reason you die, Zane,” I whisper with a shaky voice. He goes to interrupt, but I hold up my hand and continue. “But, I need you too much to fight this anymore. I’m in, all in.”

  He kneels in front of me and kisses me. It’s soft and sweet. His fingers sink into my hair and I wrap my arms around him. He’s mine.

  Chapter 7

  Zane

  “Z, we got a problem,” Kace yells, banging on the door.

  “Fuck,” I mutter, and stand up. “I’ll be right back.”

  I hate leaving her, but I need to go handle whatever is going on. She understands though, this isn’t strange to her. She knows this world, the responsibilities. It’s what’s great and what isn’t.

  I open the door and Kace has a grin on his face. “Shut the hell up,” I say.

  He doesn’t say a word, just slaps me on the back. We go sit at the table as Brooks and Enzo walk in.

  “I just talked to Daisy,” Brooks says, glancing at me. “She said that Harper interviewed her the other day. She recognized her talking to Z.”

  “Bullshit,” I say.

  “She said Harper approached her. Said that she could make her a shit load of money,” he continues.

  I don’t believe it. Not for a fucking second. Harper isn’t trying to steal our girls, Kingsley is. Daisy is a jealous cunt, trying to stir up shit.

  “You wanted this,” I remind Brooks.

  “We did,” he contradicts.

  My anger is starting to take over and I slam my fist on the table. “Daisy is stirring up shit to have this reaction. You want to know the truth, I’ll get it. But, you want to end this fucking deal right now, I’ll do that too. You guys all think this is fucking easy, it’s not. I’m playing both sides of the fucking table here. If you don’t trust me to do it, it never should’ve been voted in. So tell me before I fucking walk out of here what the fuck you want.”

  “He’s right,” Kace speaks up. “We put this shit on him, we need to support it.”

  “Agreed,” Porter says. “We can’t expect Z to play something out without having his fucking back.”

  “How do we know if Daisy is telling the truth?” Reid questions.

  “I’ll handle that shit. You can all witness,” I say and stand up. “Are we still doing this shit or what?” I ask Brooks directly.

  He looks around the table and nods his head. “Yeah.”

  “Stop questioning my every fucking move then. It’s not gonna work like that. You put this shit on me, I’m gonna see it through my way. She’s here now and she wants to stay. If anyone has a problem with that, say it now.” No one says anything, so I nod. “Good, then you treat her like she’s my fucking old lady.”

  “Fuck, alright. Let’s just get this Daisy shit handled. Anyone who gives Harper shit, will have to deal with me,” Brooks says.

  “No fuck that. You’ll deal with me,” I say. “Kace, Porter, Enzo, stay close behind. Let’s prove this bitch wrong.”

  I don’t wait to hear anything else, I walk out of the room. When I see Daisy, I motion for the guys to give me room to talk with her. As I approach, her face lights up. I grin and grab her hand. “I need to talk to you,” I say seductively. “Wait for me by the door to the back, I’ll be right there.”

  She doesn’t even question, she rushes over, her tits on display. I walk over to the guys and dial Kace, his phone rings and he looks at it. “Listen to it all.” They agree and I walk away. I bring Daisy to one of the rooms and walk in, closing the door behind us.

  “Not your regular room?” she asks.

  “Not this time, sweetheart,” I say moving to her. She licks her lips and smiles. “You miss having my cock inside you?”

  She pinches her hard nipples and nods. “Fuck yes, so much.”

  I press myself against her and grab onto her hair. “Is that why you made up that bullshit story?”

  She looks panicked and I need to relax her to get the truth. I keep one hand in her hair, but the other I move to her ass. Her thong allows me to grab onto it and pull her closer to me. “I just wanna know, sweetheart.” I let my tongue drag across her neck and she melts into me.

  “I’m sorry, Z,” she whispers. “I just want you for myself.”

  I pull her head back to look at me. “So you lied about Harper?”

  “Yes, she never approached me, but Kingsley’s guys did.”

  The moment she says it, I hang up the phone. I push her down and stand over her. “You ever try to get in the middle of shit again, and I’ll fucking kill you. Go find someone else’s dick, you’ll never see mine again. Lying cunt,” I yell.

  I walk out of the room to her screaming she’s sorry, and slam the door. I meet the guys and they nod. “Heard it all, brother,” Kace says. “Enzo is talking to Brooks.”


  “Good,” I say. “I’m going to get Harper.”

  I go back and open the door to find Harper sitting on the small chair. “That about me?”

  I laugh and pull her into my arms. “Nope. Come have a drink with me,” I say, kissing her soft lips quickly.

  “I’m overdue,” she says.

  I wrap my arm around her and we walk out. As we are coming down the hall, Daisy stumbles out of the other room. She stops short and looks at us. “Problem?” Harper asks.

  Daisy laughs and adjusts her thong. She looks at me and grins. “Nothing that Z can’t help with,” she says.

  “Daisy,” I warn. I’ve had enough of her shit. If she runs off Harper, Brooks will have my dick.

  Harper steps away from me and stands in front of Daisy. “Sweetheart, he might have let his dick enter that STD trap of a pussy before, but it wasn’t you he was fucking. It might’ve been your body, but I assure you that it wasn’t your face he saw. Go find someone else, Zane is off the market.”

  A grin hits my face when she says I’m off the market. I sometimes forget that Harper is more than capable of handling any situation. She’s not jealous, she’s not intimidated, she’s not scared. She stands up for herself and it’s hot.

  “Sure sweetie, whatever you say,” Daisy replies. She laughs and walks away, her ass shaking.

  “Ouch,” I grunt and bend at the waist.

  “Really, Z? That’s the trash you’ve been fucking? Don’t think of sticking your dick in me without a condom on.” She starts walking away and mumbles, “Asshole.”

  I stand straight and smile. Alright, maybe she does get jealous.

  She beats me to the bar and Finn is pouring her a shot. “Make it two,” I say.

  Harper looks up at me, I see the hurt in her beautiful eyes. I gently run my thumb over the small cuts and bruises left by her piece of shit father. “Sorry,” she whispers.

  “You were right,” I admit. She lifts an eyebrow, curious. “All the women I’ve been with, I only saw you.”

  Finn places our shots in front of us and we grab them, tossing them back. I slam my glass down, never taking my eyes off of Harper.

  “I’m not easy to replace,” she says with a grin.

  I laugh and pull her close to me. “Babe, you are irreplaceable.”

  “How long have you guys been together?” Finn asks, watching the exchange.

  “Did we invite you into this conversation, prospect?” Harper asks, putting her hands on her hips.

  He looks at me and I laugh grabbing a beer. “You’re on your own.”

  “Don’t patch him in. He’s a pussy, looking at you for advice,” she says.

  At this point, Kace, Reid, and Porter have come over. We all laugh as Finn’s eyes widen.

  “She knows this shit, man, you’re screwed,” Kace says, grabbing a beer.

  Harper turns around with a smile on her face. She loves being back here, I can see it. That makes this that much easier and that much harder.

  “What the fuck happened?” Porter asks, reaching for her face.

  She backs up and takes the beer from my hands. “Nothing,” she says. “When are you guys gonna get some decent prospects? I make a better Shattered Soul than this asshole.”

  She gets the laughs she was looking for. It’s something she’s good at, deflecting.

  We spend the next few hours drinking, talking, and laughing. Everyone, including Brooks, has been welcoming. I asked them to treat her like my old lady and they are. I sit back, smoking, taking in the scene. Harper fits in like she truly belongs. She’s smacking away Reid’s grabbing hands, laughing at Porter’s stupid jokes, and her face drops as Kace tells her about being shot. If things were different, the world actually bent in my favor, this is how it would be. She’d be my old lady and I’d knock her up. I’d get her the house she wants and we’d both be dedicated to this club.

  “Hey,” she says, touching my arm.

  I snap out of my ridiculous thoughts and smile. “Hey.” I grab her, pulling her onto my lap. I’m drunk and so is she. It’s been a long fucking time since this last happened. “I fucking love having you here.” I kiss her neck and move to her awaiting lips.

  “Fuck yeah,” Kace yells. We both laugh and look at him. “What? There’s tits bouncing all around us, but this is real action.”

  Harper turns her face to me and presses her lips to my ear. “Can we talk?”

  I nod and grab her hand after we stand up. “We’ll be back.”

  “No glove, no love, brother,” Kace yells. Of course laughter erupts as the door closes behind us.

  We get to my room and I close the door behind us. “What’s up?”

  “Seriously, Z? Don’t you have a house?” she asks, looking around.

  “You know I do,” I say, lighting another smoke.

  “So why the fuck is all your shit here?”

  She starts opening and closing drawers, the closet door, and the bathroom door. I lean against the dresser and watch. I have no fucking idea what she’s leading up to, but whatever it is, it’s not easy for her. She’s trying to deflect.

  “Why, Z?” she yells.

  I smash out my cigarette and cross my arms. “Because it’s easier to be here.”

  Anger flashes across her face as she stomps over to me. “Bullshit.”

  “What did you wanna talk about, babe?” I’m just ignoring her tantrum.

  She grabs my head and slams her lips to mine. I grab her ass and lift her, deepening the kiss. Her legs wrap around me and she moans in my mouth when I push my hard cock against her. I dig my fingers into her ass through her jeans and break the kiss. My tongue drags against her soft skin, up to her ear. I bite her earlobe and kiss the tender spot below her ear.

  “Talk to me,” I whisper.

  Her body sags as her head drops to my shoulder. I feel her begin to shake and I know she is crying. Whatever is going on, it’s bad. It takes a lot for her to cry. Look at her face for christ sake, it’s beaten and she walks around like nothing happened. She’s built up walls to keep everything inside and everyone out. I know she doesn’t like showing her how she feels and these tears, they are making her vunerable. Something neither of us ever want to be.

  I sit on the bed and she all but jumps off of me. “Not this fucking bed,” she yells.

  Without releasing her, I move to the chair. I hold her while she silently cries. Her hands holding tightly to my shirt.

  “Harp, babe, what the fuck is it?”

  She finally looks up at me and I swear my heart bleeds. The pain and sadness I see hurts me more than anything. I wipe her tears and kiss her forehead.

  “Look at me,” she says.

  “I’m looking babe.”

  “No, I mean look at how I’m acting. I’m a teenage girl, crying over a boy,” she says, shaking her head.

  Confused, I tilt my head. “You’re gonna need to explain that shit.”

  “Zane, I cried so much when we were young. I wanted this so badly that it was the only thing I could do. I knew we could never be together and it hurt more than anything. Sitting here tonight, with your club, it’s like we’re teenagers again. It makes me want things that are impossible.”

  I kiss her salty cheeks and rest my forehead against hers. “Babe, there’s nothing in the world I want more than for you to be my old lady. To have a family, a house, a future. For us both to one day run this club. It’s not impossible, nothing is,” I quietly confess.

  “Fuck, Z, we aren’t teenagers anymore. We both know that it will never happen. I’m scared. I’ve never been more scared in my life. Not because my father will kill me, because he will. I’m scared that the feeling I have when I’m here, I’ll never feel again,” she admits.

  Our eyes lock and I grin. “Harper, trust me. That’s all you need to do. Stop fucking worrying and questioning everything. Just be here, with me.”

  She laughs, shaking her head. “Z, you really are a fucking fool.”

  I turn her so she’s straddl
ing me. “Look, I’m gonna say this once. After this, I’m fucking done talking about it. If you want to walk away, go. I won’t stop you and I won’t bother you again. I’ll let you go for good. But, if you stay, you’re all in. I can’t do this half in, half out shit. You stay and I’ll handle whatever comes at us, I fucking promise you that. If you go, you’ll never see me again. The choice is yours, Harper.”

  Her eyes sparkle with tears and clarity. I actually see that her decision is made. “I’m staying, but you’re taking me to your place tonight.”

  I nod as we stand. She starts to walk toward the door and I grab her arm. She turns her head to see me.

  “No more, Harp. This is it. You’re all in, we both are.”

  She nods and moves to me, pressing a soft kiss on my lips. “My trust is in you, Z, all of it.”

  Fuck, finally. Now it’s time to move onto what we need.

  Chapter 8

  Harper

  I leave Ivy’s car at Soul’s and we take Zane’s bike. Neither of us should be driving, but I needed to get out of there. My head is all fucked up. At Soul’s I’m treated like I belong, like they want me around. At Club Kingsley, I’m the queen. I’m respected and feared, but not where it matters. It came crashing to me all at once, I hold all the power. Zane wants me, my father needs me. Love and hate. I told him I’m all in, which I am, my heart is. It’s just gonna take time for it all to make sense in my head.

  We pull into Zane’s driveway and my heart pounds in my chest. I haven’t been here in so long. The memories start to flood me, good and bad. He gets off the bike while I’m staring ahead.

  “Hey,” he says into his phone. Bringing my attention back to him. “What the fuck? Stay right there, I’m on my way.”

  He jumps onto the bike and I grab him. “What happened?”

  He shakes his head and flies out of the driveway. “My mom.” It’s all he says and my heart stops.