Kinkade, Lea - I Got a Feelin' [The Chisholms of Texas 2] (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Lea Kinkade

  Suddenly, Samantha knew that she needed one thing from Ryan before she told him something that might make him leave her forever. Hands going to the hem of her sweater, she turned to him, eyes glittering with need. She pulled her cashmere sweater over her head and quickly undid her lacy, black bra, dropping them to the floor.

  Ryan’s body reacted immediately. She could see the telltale bulge in his jeans as his cock hardened with desire. He started tearing at his own clothes, tugging on them frantically. He shrugged off his shirt and dropped his pants, stepping out of them as she stepped out of her skirt. His cock was hot, hard, and ready for her.

  He picked her up in his arms, walking quickly to the bedroom. As he set her on the edge of the bed, she moved quickly to the middle of the mattress and waited for him to come to her.

  They both hissed when he met her in the middle of the bed and they touched each other skin to skin. Taking her mouth in a voracious kiss he nipped and sucked on her lips. As his lips roamed down her body, he pushed her onto her back and made his way down toward her raging, wet pussy.

  Pulling him back up her body, she demanded, “No, I don’t need that right now. I need you. Inside me. Right now. No preliminaries, Ryan. I need you to fuck me. Fuck me hard.”

  * * * *

  Ryan’s need for her was as great as her need for him. He didn’t know exactly what had brought all of this on, but the woman he loved needed him. He checked her for readiness, finding her nether lips swollen and wet. He pushed her bent knees up against her chest and, with a single hard thrust, his cock was fully seated in her voracious pussy. As he began to pump his cock in and out of her sheath, he could hear both of their panting breaths, grunting in time with his thrusts. He could feel her pussy tightening on his long, thick shaft and continued pumping into her. Over and over he pistoned into her body. He heard her scream of ecstasy as her body liquefied around him. One, two, three more thrusts and he joined her in oblivion.

  He fell to her side and gently pulled her panting body into his arms. They lay there without talking as their breathing slowly returned to normal. Gathering her more tightly into his body, he covered their entwined bodies with the quilt from the end of the bed. Ryan hugged her tightly to him and waited for her to begin.

  “God, I love you Samantha. Will you tell me what happened today? Why did you get so upset? What did my aunt Kristen say to you that had you looking like a deer in the headlights? Something is scaring you. Tell me what it is. Let me in, darlin’. I swear you won’t regret it.”

  Chapter 11

  Samantha lay snuggled up against the man of her dreams, hating the fact that, after she was done talking today, he would probably leave her. Haltingly she started telling the man she loved the story of her life.

  “Samantha Anne Michaels was born on November twenty-sixth, twenty-seven years ago in a county hospital in Corpus Christi, Texas, to Tonya Anne Michaels, a known prostitute and drug user. Tonya was high on meth when Samantha was born and the baby tested positive for drug exposure. State authorities got involved.

  “The baby’s father had been one of Tonya’s customers, although she told Social Services she wasn’t sure which one. Tonya had no family to intercede on her daughter’s behalf.

  “The State of Texas spent the next seven years trying to get Tonya off drugs and off the streets. Tonya would make some progress and Samantha would be returned to her, then Tonya would go back to turning tricks, taking drugs, or both, and Samantha would be removed again.

  “Finally, when Samantha was seven years old, Tonya requested that Samantha be placed in foster care on a voluntary basis. Although she visited Samantha off and on for a while, Tonya decided fairly quickly that her life was a lot easier without another mouth to feed and she soon stopped visiting Samantha altogether.

  “Because of Samantha’s age, the courts decided not to terminate Tonya’s parental rights. Long-term foster care was determined to be in Samantha’s best interests. The problem was that, for a variety of reasons, none of the foster homes Samantha was sent to ended up being long-term. From the age of seven until the time Samantha ‘aged out’ of the foster-care system, she never spent more than one year in the same foster home, or the same school district for that matter.

  “Samantha learned early not to trust adults and their promises of a ‘forever home.’ She also learned to take care of herself. Sure, there were a couple of good foster homes in the mix, but those types of placements were few and far between.

  The first and only adult that had kept her promises to Samantha was Sandy Carmichael, the owner of The Flower Shoppe in downtown Corpus Christi. Samantha met Sandy when she was almost eighteen and about to age out of the foster-care system. Without Sandy Carmichael, Samantha would be in a dead-end job living from paycheck to paycheck while she lived in a hovel in Corpus Christi.”

  Samantha related all of this to Ryan as if it were a story she was telling him about someone else’s life. She paused briefly as she took a deep breath and tipped her head up slightly, trying to read his expression. When she couldn’t see into his eyes, she settled once again in his arms. She quietly told him all about how she had met Sandy Carmichael and how her friendship with the older woman had changed her life, including the bequest and the legal battle that had ensued because of Sandy’s brother. She also told him about her two disastrous relationships with Brandon and J.T. She had been with each man for over a year, and they had claimed to love her.

  “It was just like Brandon all over again. Once J.T.’s parents found out about my parents and got through talking ‘sense’ into him, he dumped me like trash. Forced me out of our apartment and his life.” Running out of steam, Samantha grew quiet and waited for Ryan’s reaction.

  * * * *

  Ryan lay quietly once Samantha had fallen silent. So much of what made this woman who and what she was had become clear to him. Samantha had finally let him all the way into her life. She had trusted him with her deepest hurts and disappointments. Oh, he knew there was a lot that she had left unsaid, but she had revealed her very essence to him, and he was humbled by her trust in him.

  Knowing that she expected his reaction to her story to be even more of the same pain and disappointment broke his heart. He knew that the next words he spoke to her would determine whether or not they had a future together. He weighed his words carefully as he gently squeezed her to him.

  “I can’t even begin to tell you what a strong person I think you are. You’ve come through things that would have given anyone else an excuse to give up.”

  Knowing she would spurn anything she saw as pity, he went on. “You are an amazing woman, Samantha Michaels. I thought you were amazing before you told me what you’ve gone through. Now I know just how amazing you really are. I’m honored that you trust me enough to let me into your life like this. Thank you, darlin’.” He lay there quietly, waiting for the storm he instinctively knew was coming. He wasn’t disappointed.

  Scrambling out of his arms and off the bed, Samantha reached for her robe that was lying on the foot of the bed and shrugged it on, belting it tightly. “That’s all you have to say? I just told you that my mother is a whore and that my father was one of her johns and that’s all you have to say about it?” She looked at him incredulously.

  Ryan got up slowly and pulled on his jeans, zipping them but leaving them unbuttoned. He instinctively spoke softly to her. “It doesn’t change who you are to me. You’re still the woman I love. None of what you just told me changes the fact that I love you, Samantha Michaels.”

  Samantha appeared surprised by his declaration of love and was silent for a moment. She started to pace back and forth in front of the bed. Finally, she faced him looking at him derisively. “You can’t love me, Ryan Chisholm. I’m a little nobody with very questionable pedigree. You are a Chisholm, for Christ’s sake. A member of the premiere family in south Texas. You need to fall in love with some woman who can trace her ancestry back to the Mayflower or some shit like that. I am not that woman, Ryan.
My mother was a prostitute, for God’s sake. Hell, she probably still is. She makes her money selling her body to any man that can meet her price. I am a mistake that she made while she was doing that. I am nothing.”

  He went to her where she was pacing, taking her by the shoulders and giving her a gentle shake. “Don’t you dare say that, Samantha Michaels. You are not nothing. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m not letting you go, darlin’. I love you.” Taking a deep breath, he took the plunge into the abyss. “I want you to be my wife.”

  She looked at him with utter incredulity on her face. “Your wife? Are you crazy? Your family would never let you marry someone like me. Haven’t you listened to anything I’ve said? How are you any different from Brandon and J.T.?” She resisted his attempts to pull her into his arms and walked over to stand in front of the window.

  “Do not compare me to those two little pricks!” he said angrily. “Even if my family tried to threaten me to get me to dump you, which they never would because they love you almost as much as I do, I would never cave like those two assholes. Samantha, I am a man, and I’m old enough to know what I want and strong enough to fight for it. Brandon and J.T. were little boys playing at being men. If they had really loved you, like I do, nothing could have made them give you up.” He knew he needed to make her see the differences between himself and the two no-account jerks who had rejected her for something she had no control over.

  As she turned to face him, his heart twisted at the anguish and sadness he saw on her face. “You don’t understand, Ryan. You just don’t know.”

  Going to her, he pulled her gently into his arms. “No, darlin’, I don’t know everything you went through, and I cannot possibly understand the emotional toll it took on you.” He paused to gather his thoughts. “Samantha, you’re an adult now. Your mother can’t hurt you anymore unless you let her. Those social workers and those foster homes don’t have the power to hurt you anymore unless you give it to them.”

  He drew one hand from her shoulder and placed it under her chin as he gently tipped up her face to look at him. “I know you’ve been hurt by people who said they loved you. I’m not them, Samantha. I. Love. You. I have never said that to a woman I wasn’t related to. Never!” He needed to make her understand the difference. He watched her as confusion seemed to take over.

  “We’ll take this slow, darlin’. I promise. Give me time to prove to you how much I love you and that I’m in this for the long haul.” Ryan was pleading with her now. Hell. He’d get down on his knees and beg if that’s what it took.

  Though her resistance was clearly crumbling, Samantha didn’t let it go. Pulling away from him again, she tried once more to argue with him. “Your family…”

  “Will love you even more as they get to know you better. No,” he said, seeing the denial and fright in her face, “We don’t have to tell them everything if you don’t want to, but they would never hold what you’ve told me against you. I know that.” He did know that. He didn’t doubt a single member of his family in that regard.

  He pulled her back into his arms, running his hands up and down her back soothingly. “Hell, darlin’, even if my family was like those assholes’ families, do you really think I would give a shit? If I wanted my family’s approval, I would have gone into the family business. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family, but I am not going to live my life to please them. Give this a chance. Give us a chance.”

  He could see the anguish on her face. There were some people in her past who had a lot to answer for, he thought grimly.

  “I want to, Ryan. God, you don’t know how much I want this. What I feel for you is so much more than what I felt for Brandon or J.T. It scares me how much I love you.” He barely caught her last words as she ended on a whisper.

  There it was. She had finally admitted it. She loved him. Ryan wasn’t going to let her backpedal now. He had pulled her this far kicking and screaming.

  “You tell me what you need, darlin’. I’ll play this any way you need. I’m ready to marry you, if that’s what you need from me. We can live together, if that’s what you need. We can keep going like we have been. Whatever you need to trust that I am in this for the long haul, that’s what we will do. Tell me what you need from me.”

  She looked into his eyes, searching for something. He didn’t know what exactly she was looking for, but he made sure the love he felt for her was shining from his eyes. Visibly gathering her courage, she told him what she needed.

  “I don’t think I am ready to get married yet, but I don’t want to just keep going as we have been. Why don’t you move in here with me?” She was speaking so softly he barely heard her. She was obviously not used to telling people what she needed. Hell, nobody had probably asked her what she wanted or needed in her entire life.

  “Darlin’, I’d love to live with you, but this place is kind of small for two people. What if we found a new place together?” When she didn’t dismiss the idea out of hand, he decided to go for broke. “Or, we could live here while my house is being built out at the Ranch. Maybe by the time the house is ready to move in, you would be ready to get engaged?”

  He could tell he might have pushed her too far, and he backpedaled quickly. “I know you would feel better living on your own turf, but it makes sense for us to live on the Ranch after we’re married. My parents have given each of us kids fifty acres, and my land is beautiful. It would be the perfect place for our dream house.”

  He could still see doubt in her eyes as he continued to make his case. “Look. You don’t need the rental income from this apartment, right? It’s okay with me if you keep the apartment here and ready for you if that’s what you need. I don’t want you to ever feel like you have nowhere of your own to go again. I know that having a place of your own is kind of like a security blanket for you. I am okay with that for now. I hope, in time, that you’ll come to see that you don’t need it. I’m willing to put the time and effort in to prove it to you. What do you say?”

  * * * *

  She loved him even more for understanding her need for security and independence. Could she do it? Could she take the chance when every other time she had put her heart on the line she had gotten hurt? Did she even want to open herself to the possibility of more heartache?

  Who was she kidding? It was already too late. Ryan already held her heart in his hands. She loved him. She either had to let him go now or jump into this thing with both feet.

  Knowing how much she loved him, she knew she had to let go of past hurts or risk repeating them over and over. Ryan had never done anything to hurt her. He understood her need to have a place of her own. She needed to give him a sign that she trusted him not to hurt her.

  “I say, ‘I love you,’ Ryan Chisholm. I want to live here with you until your house is done, then I’ll keep this place empty for a while. Thank you for understanding about that.” She went to him and put her arms around his waist, resting her forehead on his shoulder.

  “Our house,” he corrected her softly as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She pulled back with a look of confusion on her face. “You said we could live here until my house is done. It’s our house. Just wanted to clear that up.”

  “Oh, okay. Our house. I like the sound of that, handsome.” Leaning into his body, she held him tight, her hands kneading the muscles in the small of his back. They stood in the middle of the bedroom floor just holding each other for several minutes.

  Finally, Samantha raised her head and looked into his eyes again. “Ryan, would you do something for me?”

  “Anything, darlin’. Name it.”

  “Will you make love to me?”

  “With pleasure.” He gave her a sexy smile as his hands went to the tie on her robe, slowly undoing the knot. She let her arms drop down to her sides. He took hold of each side of the robe and pulled it off her shoulders, letting it slide down her arms and pool at her feet. Her nipples were hard as diamonds.

  Her robe pooled at
her feet as she moved her hands to the zipper on his jeans. He’d never fastened the button, and he was commando. She could see the bulge of his erection pressing against his zipper. She slowly lowered the zipper, laughing when he put his hands to his hips and quickly pulled his jeans down, kicking them off next to her robe.

  Ryan took her back in his arms and slanted his head down for a deep kiss. His mouth made love to hers. Gently nudging her lips open with his tongue, he played with hers, his tongue sweeping into her mouth in a scorching-hot kiss.

  He slowly maneuvered her so the back of her knees touched the side of the bed and he bumped her onto the mattress. Seeing the heat in his glittering, green eyes, she used her heels to slide her body into the middle of the bed as she parted her thighs to receive him.

  Climbing onto the bed, he held himself over her as his mouth took hers in another devastating kiss. He leaned on one arm as his hands found her erect nipples and he palmed her gorgeous tits. His mouth left hers as he nibbled and kissed his way down to her chin, down her neck, and over her collarbone. When his mouth found one of her tender nipples, she gasped at the sensation. He continued to make love to her as he tongued and palmed her breasts, causing moisture to pool in her hot pussy. It pulsed in need. He was driving her crazy with his touch.

  Just when she thought she couldn’t take any more, his mouth and hands left her breasts and began to travel farther down her body. As he kissed and tongued his way down her belly and to the top of her mound, Samantha moaned in need.

  “What do you need, darlin’? Tell me.”

  “Your mouth.”

  “My mouth? Where do you want it, darlin’? Here?” He rolled his tongue into her belly button, teasing her with light flicks in and out.