'It's not looking good for the wedding.'
'Just get him home and look after him. That's what counts.'
Mike nods.
'Has Nina arrived yet?'
Mike looks at me, his forehead creased.'Gabe. Have you not seen the news? Britain is a blanket of snow. All flights have been cancelled.'
'What?' My hands clutch my head.
'It's covered. Worst snow in years.'
'I have ABC coming. Christ. Hopefully they got here already.'
'It's been like it for days Gabe. How are you not aware of this?'
'Because all my time has been spent between weddings and Sesame Street.' I kick the wall.
'Gabriel Gregory. Stop that at once.' says my Mom. 'Let me show you out Mike, while Gabe has a tantrum.'
'The kids going to be gutted,' says Chris.
'I know but what can we do? We'll just have to take him out for a spin in a fast car or something.' I switch on my computer.
'Now I need to see if ABC have made it.' I check my Inbox and there it is. The message I did not want to see. They haven't made it due to the weather. I then realise that there was nowhere for them to play anyway as I'd told them The Plaza.
I stand and fake bang my head against the wall, for in case my mother tells me off again.
Snow and sick. This is snow joke.
T is for The Wedding (part one)
Chris gets dressed and then brings my suit through. He looks really smart. I can't wait to get mine on. He removes the suit cover.
'Surprise Bro.'
The suit he reveals is not the one I picked out but a suit of black leather. My mouth drops open.
'I know right?' My brother smiles and shakes the suit at me. 'You are going to look The Bomb in this. I had them switch it when I saw it. You are so going to rock this.'
I'm not usually violent and afterwards we blame the wedding stress, but before I know it, I've punched him in the jaw.
The suit and Chris drop to the ground.
'What the fuck Bro?'
'Exactly. What. The. Fuck. Is. That?' I point to the suit. 'I know what it isn't. It isn't what I chose.'
Chris rubs his jaw. 'You don't like it?'
'I'm going to look like I'm attending a bondage session, not my wedding.'
'Just try it on okay, before you judge. Christ, my jaw.'
I huff and go to put it on.
I stand and look in the mirror. As it's the only suit I now have and time is of the essence, I have no choice but to wear it. I look like part of an eighties Rock Band. I just need two white stripes across my face and I'm Adam Ant. Or maybe I'm David Coverdale from Whitesnake. Either way I'm screwed.
The phone rings and Chris answers before passing it to me.
'It's the wife to be.'
'Good morning my beautiful Bride.'
'Did you check the Bridesmaids dresses or let Ronnie choose?'
'Err.' I scratch my chin.
'Only Ronnie and Athena are both dressed as Elsa from Frozen. Apparently it goes with your theme.'
'I did not tell her to dress as a cartoon character.'
'Did you, or did you not, let Ronnie choose her and Athena's outfits?'
I remain silent.
'I will keep calm and let it go.' She puts the phone down.
I ought to have known not to trust that woman.
Five minutes later the phone rings again. This time it's Ronnie.
'Don't worry about your outfits Ronnie. They'll do.'
'That is not what I am calling about. You bought the wrong size wedding dress. It doesn't fit.'
'No I haven't. I bought what you said. You said she was a twelve. So how can I have bought the wrong size.'
'She is a size twelve. In the UK. You're in the states you arse. You needed to ask for the equivalent.'
'How am I supposed to know that? You should have told me.'
'Am I organising this wedding? No. Don't you shout at me.'
I sigh. 'Sorry. How bad is it?'
'A UK twelve is a US ten, so it's too large. You've bought the equivalent of a UK Fourteen. Plus she's lost weight with vomiting.'
'Look there's another dress. It's the same size but it's a bandage dress so hopefully it will be better. It's in my wardrobe.'
'Fine. Now where are the shoes?'
'What shoes? I didn't get shoes. She has hundreds of pairs of shoes.'
'You didn't buy her wedding shoes? What about a handbag?'
'No. She already has those things.'
Ronnie whistles. 'You might want to write out your last will and testament. See you at City Hall.'
I sit down. Squeaking and sweating in my leather suit. We wait for the damn car to arrive.
Thankfully it turns up on time. Unfortunately it's the Bentley. That means the James Bond car has gone to collect my wife to be. At least I get the massage seat though it fails to relax me.
I stand outside City Hall shaking. My mothers head is also shaking. At me. Frequently.
There's a screech of tires as the Aston Martin flies around the corner and pulls up outside.
A large and small Elsa from Frozen emerge from the car.
'Dadadadadadadadadada.' My gorgeous little girl toddles over to me and I sweep her up. She looks amazing. The same can't be said for Ronnie who looks like she needs to get straight over to Disneyland. She obviously thought of the outfit, pre-haircut and now has a peroxide blonde wig on her head, complete with massive plait.
Stella emerges from the car with a face like a dark storm cloud. She is wearing the Herve Leger. She looks fucking awesome. As her boobs have grown, she fills the top out beautifully. The bandage style holds in her newly blossoming tummy. Plus her legs. Whoa those legs. I follow her legs down to her feet, which are wearing white converse.
She points at them, her fingers tipping like a dagger into a throat. I clutch my neck protectively.'These are the only white shoes I own, so I thought I'd wear them.' A tight smile crosses her face akin to the Joker from Batman.
I think how apt a Winter theme has been as the temperature has plummeted.
'You can take that gormless look off your face and put your tongue back in Gabe Gregory. I look like a call girl, not a bride. I left the thong off that you bought me as I didn't want the guests getting a view of my arse should I have to move.' She looks around. 'Where's Sam?'
'He's ill. Puked everywhere this morning. Nina hasn't made it either because of the snow.'
'No, neither have my parents. They were also in Britain.'
Stella takes Athena out of my arms and clocks my suit, 'What the hell are you wearing?'
Her gaze moves to Chris and he withers under her glare. 'Your chin's looking a bit cut and bruised there. I'm guessing Gabe wasn't aware of this?'
'No. I switched his suit. I thought he'd like it. Sorry.'
Stella looks at Ronnie and Chris and then back at me. 'There's only your Mom who is actually fit to attend this wedding. I know I said it was the marriage that counted, but I can't do this.' She indicates our clothes. 'We look like a prostitute and pimp tying the knot. I might as well be naked to be honest.'
I imagine her naked skin against my leather suit and want to take her home.
She clicks her fingers in front of me.
'Are you listening to me? This wedding. It's not happening today. Go and tell them.'
'What?'
'You heard. Come on,' she says to Ronnie and my Mother. 'Let's go straight to the Reception. At least we can enjoy some nice food.'
'Err.'
'Gabriel?' says my Mother.
'Well I thought we were having everything at The Plaza didn't I?'
'Stella. I will understand if you never choose to marry this pathetic son of mine. Come on, let's all go back to my house. I've plenty of food left from last night.' As she walks past myself and Chris, she smacks both of us around the head. 'I've raised idiots. Go cancel the ceremony and then come to my house.'
They all get into the Aston Martin and drive away.
>
'Fucking hell. You've been jilted Bro,' says Chris.
I hit him again.
U is for Un(wed)
I do believe I'm more nervous going to my Mother's house than I was waiting for Stella to arrive for the ceremony.
I walk through to the lounge to be met by glares (Mother and Ronnie) and avoidance as Stella is reading Athena a story.
'Sit down Gabriel. I will tell you exactly what is going to happen from here on in.' My Mother has her serious don't mess with me voice on. Chris and I regress to childhood. We look at the floor sulkily and drag our feet.
'I've spoken to Stella to ask if she even wants to marry you after today's fiasco.'
Stella looks at me giving nothing away. I'm crapping myself. What if she doesn't want to marry me anymore? What have I done?
I shrug.'I did my best. I'm not responsible for the weather or for Sam being sick.'
'Has anyone asked you to speak yet Gabriel? Be quiet.'
Chris sniggers.
'Why are you laughing? You're no better.'
He sits quiet and still.
'Right. Stella. What are your feelings now about marrying my son? Feel free to keep them to yourself if you'd rather speak to him privately.'
Stella turns towards myself and my mother. 'I do want to get married. However I realise I do actually need to be involved myself.' She sighs. 'I hold myself partly responsible for what's happened. If I'd helped organise it, it wouldn't have gone so wrong.'
'You should have asked my advice more,' Ronnie tells me.
'Ronnie. You turned up as a Disney Princess, so you aren't innocent.' says Stella.
Ronnie flicks her blonde plait. 'Well I thought we looked cute.'
'Me too,' adds Chris, before getting another look of chastisement from our Mom.
'Maddie. I was wrong to not take your offer of help when you first gave it. I would love for you to help organise our wedding,' says Stella.
'Well. I'm sorry I went ahead and booked somewhere huge. How about I look for a small, intimate venue and we try again?'
'That would be lovely.'
'What about dates?'
'Could you see if there's any availability for in a couple of months. Maybe February or March?'
'Good idea. Your morning sickness should have passed by then.'
Myself and Stella gape at my Mother in shock.
'I've been there twice myself before. Do you think I don't suspect with a face the colour of milk and avoiding spas and alcohol?' She beams. 'I'm ecstatic by the way.'
'You didn't do the Alphabet properly either Gabe.' says Ronnie. 'You cheated. I bet I could have done it.'
'No games. No betting. Just a wedding please?' says Stella.
I give Ronnie a death stare.
She raises an eyebrow.
Challenge on.
Stella makes a move towards getting ready to go home. I get up too.
I whisper in her ear. 'Hey. There's still the wedding nightwear.'
'There will be no wedding night, where there was no wedding.'
I could ice skate on the glacial expression.
'When we get back you can phone and see how Sam is and let him know that he is still required to give me away.'
'At least one male will be happy tonight.' I mutter under my breath.
'Pardon?'
'Nothing babe.'
I guess the something blue for the wedding is going to be my balls. I reckon I'm up for some punishment and not the kind I favour.
V is for venue (new one)
My mother has come up trumps. She's booked our wedding at the 620 Loft and Garden. For those of you unfamiliar with New York, it's located on Fifth Avenue and part of the Rockefeller Center. It's sixty seven storeys high, with amazing views including that of St Patrick's Cathedral. Even better she has booked a company who organise everything. License, limo, top wedding photographer, champagne, bridal make-up and hair. There's a tented area where we can have the meal if the weather is fine, or an internal area for if not. Catering is arranged. The Loft isn't small, but they cater for intimate. Stella loves it. My mother's luck rested on someone else's misfortune.
A cancellation.
For February Fourteenth.
We're now getting married on Valentine's Day.
W is for Wedding (part two)
It's Saturday the fourteenth of February. I once again wake at my Mom's house. This time Sam comes and jumps on me, to make sure I'm awake. This time, thank goodness, he is healthy.
'Come on Gabe. It's your Wedding Day.' He tugs at my arm.
We all get ready, putting on our tuxedos and aftershave. Sam really does look a total dude. This time I don't feel many nerves. I'm just so ready to get a ring on that woman's finger and make her mine.
We arrive at the loft. It's spectacular. Although a cold day, the clear-paned tent has been heated. I ask Mike if he will act as Usher as people will need their coats back for the ceremony which is taking place outside among the views. He says he'd be honoured.
Everyone is here. Nina; Fran and Mitch; my Mom and Chris. Plus the Officiant.
The door opens and Ronnie steps into the room. She looks lovely in a pale pink dress. She beams a wide smile at me. 'Are you ready Gabe?' she asks.
I've never been more ready in my life.
She gestures around the door and my little Princess toddles through. Also dressed in pink, there are so many swirls of material she looks like a beautiful pink cloud.
'Daddy.' She throws her flowers on the floor and comes rushing over, arms outstretched. I sweep her up and cover her in kisses. She has a hairband in covered in hearts. She pulls that out and throws it on the floor too. 'Gone. Hahahahahaha.'
Ronnie fixes both doors back with the help of one of the staff and Stella enters the room.
I am speechless.
Boys aren't brought up with fairytales. That's girl crap; but right now, I believe. I believe in fairy godmothers, wishes and kisses, because the woman that has just walked through the door is a grown up Princess. Her dark hair is up with tiny little curls caressing her face. She touches the tiara on her head. There's no veil hiding my bride away. On her top half she wears a white, fake fur coat. You can see from her mid thigh the silky material of her wedding dress that comes out in a fishtail.
I tremble with nerves.
She comes over and kisses me. Her warm lips touch mine.
'Hey, that's for after the ceremony,' says Ronnie.
The officiant approaches and asks if we're ready. He's an older gentleman. Fatherly looking. Exactly what neither of us have here.
Ronnie puts a white fake fur thing around her and then Athena. It goes over their shoulders and I'm informed later that it's called a shrug.
Then we make our way outside.
To be married.
'With the power invested in me. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride.'
And I do. I want to drag her off caveman style and take her over the table set up for dinner. I settle for trying to put everything I feel into my lips as my mouth crushes hers. Her hands come up behind my head. I can feel the flowers behind my neck. They were part of the package so Stella allowed them for once, for traditions sake.
Everyone cheers.
We eat a beautiful dinner. I stand up to make a speech.
'It's customary for the Best Man to make a speech, but today I wanted to say a few words. I'd like to firstly apologise for the terrible mess that was our first wedding. I'd like to thank my Mom,' I look at her and she is wiping away a tear, 'for her help in making this one of the best days in mine and my wife's life.' It's the first time I've said the word aloud and I want to repeat it for hours. Wife. Wife. Wife. 'Thank you also to everyone for attending. In particular to Sam who did a beautiful job in giving my bride to me.' Sam stands and takes a bow. 'To Ronnie and my daughter Athena. For being the most beautiful bridesmaid's I have ever seen.'
'What about me?' yells Chris.
'What you want to be includ
ed as a beautiful bridesmaid?'
'No where's my thanks?'
I laugh. 'I'd like to thank my younger brother Christopher. For behaving himself throughout the ceremony. It is now his turn to make a speech.'
Chris stands up.
'I don't have much more to add, seeing as my brother has pinched most of the lines I'm supposed to say.' He raises an eyebrow at me. 'So. I'd just like to welcome Stella officially into the Gregory family. Now if you'd raise your glasses. Can we please toast the Bride and Groom.'
'The Bride and Groom.'
'So now Bro can you tell me at which point the Best Man cops off with the Chief Bridesmaid?'
Everyone laughs. Well. Nearly everyone.
The blonde haired man who just walked through the door, nods to everyone and walks towards Ronnie.
She flings her arms around him.
'Sorry Chris,' she says, beaming. 'This is my husband.'
The quartet we hired play music for our first dance. Of course it had to be their version of The Jackson Five's ABC. What other song could be our song?
X is for X-rated
Athena is at my mothers. She was so tired as she was bundled into the car. We are booked into the Edwardian Suite at the Park Plaza. My mother was determined we'd get here for our wedding and booked us in as a surprise gift.
Apparently the room is beautifully decorated. I wouldn't know as I'm not looking anywhere but at Mrs Gregory. Especially as she's just removed her jacket.
'So what shall we do husband?'
'Stand up.'
She does and I unzip the back of her dress slowly and then peel it off her skin. I take care as I know she wants to keep it.
She turns to me. Bewitching in a metallic silver bra and the thong and garter I bought months ago. She flashes me a dangerous look. 'You like?'
'If I'd known you had that on under the dress, there would have failed to be a wedding again.' I step towards her, my cock getting hard.
I arrange the duvet so we can lay there together, arms and legs entwined. Then I slip the bra off her shoulders, exposing her bare flesh. Her nipples pebble. I take them into my mouth in turn. Careful in case they are sensitive.
The Alphabet Wedding (The Alpha Series) Page 6