Maggie Lee (Book 16): The Hitwoman Plays Chaperone

by Lynn, JB

  If I’d had my druthers I’d have never returned to the Revolutionary War reenactment camp, but I couldn’t argue with the logic that the horses might know who was responsible for what happened to Alton.

  Even though I was mentally pouting the entire time, I bundled myself up, made sure God was comfortable hanging out in his hammock (also known as my bra) and went in search of George Washington’s campground. At least this time I wasn’t riding in the back of a bus so there was no danger of bruising my spleen on the bumpy ride.

  For some reason that she hadn’t made clear, Piss wanted to join us for this leg of the investigation.

  When I’d asked why, she’d hissed, “I’m curious.” Then she’d promptly turned her back to me and started licking her paw.

  Both she and the lizard remained blessedly silent for most of the trip, which gave me plenty of opportunity to think about Darlene’s explanation for disappearing.

  I knew she’d been deliberately vague in order to protect Susan and I, but I still felt dissatisfied. The only part of the exchange that had really offered much comfort was Marshal Griswald’s apparent faith in her statement.

  As crazy as it sounds, I’d come to count on the judgment and steadying presence of the lawman. Sure he could ruin my life by arresting me, but he was a good influence on Susan and everyone else in the household.

  “We’re here,” I announced as I pulled into the parking lot. I scanned the area for any signs of pink, but saw none.

  I let the cat out of the car and then climbed out.

  “I can’t believe we’re back here,” God groaned.

  “It was your idea,” I reminded him.

  “And an excellent one,” he agreed.

  I rolled my eyes at his lack of modesty. “If you do say so yourself.”

  Piss ran on ahead of us, scooting beneath cars and jumping around corners. I soon lost sight of her.

  The same old woman stamped my hand and ushered me through the gate.

  “No guardian angel today?” the lizard asked.

  “Maybe he’s here,” I murmured, looking up into a nearby tree.

  Mike tipped a black wing at me as though he was bowing.

  I winked at him.

  “Follow me. We’ll get the inside scoop straight from a horse’s mouth,” he cackled, flying off.

  I hurried after him. “Do you think the horses will be cooperative?”

  “How am I supposed to know?” God groused. “Do I look like some kind of horse whisperer?”

  “Well I’ve never spoken to one,” I told him. “Horses are outdoor animals and you know how I feel about the outdoors.”

  “That it looks better in pictures than in real life?” he asked.

  “Sounds about right.”

  “Pick up the pace, doll,” Mike urged from above. “We ain’t got all day here.”

  “Technically we do,” I retorted.

  I don’t know what the big hurry was since when I rounded the next corner, the horses came into sight. Five of them mulled about in the rear of the large corral. One of them stood with its head hanging over the gate at the front.

  Struck by their beauty I said, “They’re magnificent.”

  God used my bra strap to heave himself onto my shoulder so that he could take in the view. “Brute strength.”

  Piss was already sitting outside the gate, studying the animals.

  “They’re bigger than I thought they’d be,” she remarked.

  “Smellier too,” God complained.

  “Shut up,” I whispered, fighting the urge to hold my nose. Intimidated by its size, I shuffled uncertainly up to the horse by the gate. “I don’t know how to do this,” I admitted nervously.

  “Guys,” Piss meowed, “I’m Piss and this is Maggie. We need your help.”

  The ears of the five horses in the rear pricked up and they stopped moving so that they could watch us.

  The horse in the front snorted at us.

  No words, just a snort of disgust.

  “You talk to the human?” the lead horse asked, his voice deep and mocking as he eyed the cat.

  “She talks to me and I choose to respond,” Piss replied haughtily.

  “I don’t believe it,” he whinnied. “Humans don’t understand us.”

  “This one does,” God piped up from my shoulder.

  The horse tossed his mane in disbelief.

  “I’m trying to find out what happened to the little boy,” I pleaded. “I know it wasn’t your fault.”

  “Of course it wasn’t,” the horse whinnied softly.

  “Can you tell me what happened?”

  “He shot at us.”

  “Who?”

  “We had to run for our lives.”

  A chorus of agreement whinnies from the others followed the assertion.

  “Who?” I asked. “Who shot at you?”

  The lead horse pawed the ground in front of him.

  I fought the urge to run away, afraid of what those giant hooves could do to me.

  “He did not belong in the stable,” he said.

  “Of course not,” I soothed. I started to feel like the trip had been a waste of time. Not only hadn’t the horses been able to identify the would-be killer, but I was pretty sure I was about to be trampled to death.

  “City slicker.” The horse let out a loud neigh to prove his point.

  “Which one, you cloven-hoofed beast?” God demanded imperiously.

  The horse tossed his mane. “How should I know? All humans look alike to me.”

  “Amen to that,” God agreed.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  I pulled out my trusty black dress to wear to the fundraiser at the planetarium.

  It was the same dress I’d worn to Teresa’s funeral and the dress I’d been wearing when I first met the mobster, Delveccio. People said I’d been a hero that day because I’d prevented Dominic from being smothered to death. The truth was I’d gotten lucky.

  I attached some superstitious luck to the item of clothing and I hoped that it would once again enable me to protect an innocent child.

  I didn’t have the same affection for the heels I had to wear with it. I hated them with a passion, but Edith had stressed that she wanted me to blend in with the crowd so that no one would know I was there to protect the kid.

  Still, the outfit served its purpose. I was dressed similarly to most of the catering staff that entered through the rear door of the building that housed the planetarium. Since Berkin had removed me from the official guest list, Patrick thought it best to sneak me in.

  Cursing my heels as I tried to walk across the parking lot without twisting an ankle, I saw a flash of pink pull in.

  I stared at the Winnebago. I knew enough not to disregard Armani’s warnings. R.V. showing up where Alton was once was a coincidence. Twice was a conspiracy. “Beware the pink indeed,” I muttered to myself.

  I stood there in the middle of the parking lot for a full minute waiting for the driver to disembark, but she didn’t. Deciding that Alton would be safer with me nearby rather than stalking my prime suspect I hustled inside.

  “You look great,” Patrick said appreciatively as I stepped inside.

  “Thanks.” I tried not to bask in the compliment. After all, he’s with someone else. Still, I couldn’t help but add, “So do you.”

  In fact, in his dark suit, he cut a ridiculously handsome figure.

  “I need you to keep an eye out for someone.” He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture. “Guy’s name is Coral.”

  Colors and fashion aren’t my thing, I wondered if coral was considered to be a shade of pink.

  “He’s got a documented history of issues with the Concord family,” Patrick said of the bearded man with wild eyes. “If you see him, don’t engage him. Just make a scene and attract attention to his general area.”

  I nodded, wondering if he was the city slicker the horse had referred to.

  “I mean it, Mags,” Patrick warned. “None of your Stop
, Drop, and Roll antics.”

  “Got it.” I moved to enter the party, but Patrick caught my arm.

  “Be careful,” he whispered in my ear. “There’s only so much I can do to protect you here.”

  “I understand,” I murmured, pulling free of his grip, and striding into the party with a sense of purpose.

  It didn’t take long to find Alton. The little boy, dressed in a silver astronaut costume, was racing back and forth through the well-dressed partygoers nibbling on canapés.

  I stopped him by calling out, “Hi, Alton. Do you remember me?”

  He grinned. “You’re Maggie.”

  “Can you give me a tour of this place?” I asked, holding out my hand.

  “Sure.” He grabbed me. “Have you seen the telescopes?”

  I shook my head. Considering the oversized hall was filled with people, equipment, and a plethora of shimmering silver stars dangling from the ceiling, it was hard to see anything clearly.

  “This way.” He led me to a display of telescopes and rattled off their names and the year each had been invented.

  While he talked excitedly, I scanned the crowd, trying to spot R.V. or Coral. Instead, I made eye contact with another familiar face. I frowned at the sight of him.

  As he ambled toward us, I angled my body so that I stood between him and the boy, worried that this was the second time I’d seen him in Alton’s vicinity.

  “You’re looking more beautiful than these heavenly celestial bodies,” my newly-discovered-uncle, Thurston, said when he was within earshot.

  I narrowed my gaze, letting him know his compliments were a waste of time. “What are you doing here?”

  He blinked at my aggressive tone. “I’m a patron of the planetarium. What are you doing here?”

  Alton tugged on my hand, dragging me to the next piece of equipment he found fascinating.

  Thurston peered around me, spotting the boy. “It seems you’ve made a friend.”

  “Thurston!” a woman trilled. “How lovely to see you.” Edith Concord, wearing a glittering kaftan, no doubt chosen to match her grandson’s ensemble, drifted toward us.

  I relaxed a little, knowing that Alton’s grandmother was familiar with the man.

  “And there’s Alton,” she continued. “Are you having fun, darling?”

  “I’m giving Maggie a tour,” the boy announced proudly.

  “And he’s doing an excellent job,” I confirmed.

  “Thank you for coming, Maggie,” Edith said formally, making it clear she didn’t want to advertise the reason for my appearance.

  “My pleasure,” I replied.

  “Let’s go,” Alton urged, pulling on me.

  With an apologetic smile to the adults, I let him lead me away, leaving his grandmother and my uncle to talk amongst themselves.

  “I hope you’re proud of yourself for getting in here,” a voice whispered bitterly as Alton showed me the remains of some fallen meteors.

  Looking over my shoulder, I found Berkin, the business manager, glaring at me.

  “Don’t embarrass yourself,” he warned. “Leave now before I have you escorted out.”

  Instead of responding, I smiled sweetly at him, before returning my full attention to Alton’s sense of wonder. Making a point of shielding Alton from him, I ignored how Berkin stood behind us, lurking, no doubt trying to intimidate me.

  Feeling like someone else was watching me, I surreptitiously glanced around and found Patrick standing across the room. His gaze flicked from me to Berkin and back to me.

  It was comforting to know that he was watching out for me and I sent him an appreciative smile.

  His nod back was almost imperceptible.

  Realizing I wouldn’t be easily cowed, Berkin backed off and Alton and I continued exploring the displays.

  I’d just started to relax a little, when I spotted them.

  They were standing in a corner, involved in a conversation. Neither of them had spotted the kid yet.

  Desperately I scanned the area for Patrick but I didn’t see him anywhere.

  When I looked back, R.V. was pointing Alton’s location out to Coral.

  Tightening my grip on Alton, I remembered what Patrick had said about making a scene.

  Something evil gleamed in Coral’s eyes as he started walking toward us.

  There was only one thing I could do.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  I scooped Alton up in my arms and whispered, “Sing with me.”

  “What?”

  “Happy birthday to you,” I began to sing at the top of my lungs walking away from Coral and toward the center of the room.

  What is it about the public singing of that song that garners everyone’s immediate attention? If they start to play ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ in a football stadium, only half of the people in attendance notice even though they’ve got to know it’s coming, but if you start celebrating a birthday, anywhere, people immediately join in.

  All partygoers within earshot turned toward us.

  My plan was working. I was making a scene, attracting attention, making it that much harder for Coral to pull off whatever he had planned.

  Alton, little champ that he was, sang along with me and soon others joined in.

  Glancing over my shoulder, I saw the Coral was closing in on us. I put Alton down and stared right at the crazy man. He grinned maniacally.

  I pushed Alton behind me as I belted out “Happy birthday, dear Galileo” with over-the-top gusto.

  The crowd burst into applause just at the moment that Coral charged.

  Kicking off my heels, I grabbed a shoe in each hand. Armed, I knew what I had to do. Eyes. Nose. Throat. Groin.

  But before I could defend Alton, my enemy was tackled with a thud.

  The crowd gasped.

  “Wow!” Alton said.

  “You are one tough dame,” a familiar voice called from above.

  Looking up, I spotted Mike, black feathers shining, perched near the ceiling. I wanted to ask what he was doing there and how he’d gotten inside, but I’d already made a scene. Talking to a bird would have been taking things too far.

  My attention was drawn downward as my favorite redhead pinned Coral to the ground easily before looking up at me and nodding his approval.

  Relieved, I carried my shoes in one hand, while grabbing the boy with my other hand to lead him away from the scene.

  “You’re fun, Maggie,” Alton decided as we made our way to the display of astrological signs.

  I ruffled his hair. “Thanks.”

  Edith bustled over to us, kaftan glittering brighter than any stars a telescope could reveal. I fought the urge to shield my eyes.

  “Thank heavens you’re okay,” Edith cried as she approached.

  “Did you see that tackle, grandma?” Alton asked. “Boom! Better than a football player.”

  “It certainly was,” she agreed. “Thank you, Maggie.”

  “She wasn’t the one who tackled him,” Alton announced with the kind of exasperation that only a child can convey.

  Edith and I shared a smile that acknowledged my contribution to the capture of Coral and the cuteness of her grandson. Then she stared pointedly at the shoes I still held. I quickly put them back on.

  “Let’s get you something to eat,” Edith suggested, waving over a black-suited waiter, balancing a tray of salmon sushi.

  My stomach clenched at the sight of them. After all, salmon is a shade of pink too. “Alton was going to show me the Zodiac signs,” I said a tad too quickly.

  “Yeah,” Alton agreed. “Let’s eat after.” He hurried in the direction of the display he wanted to see first.

  Shrugging apologetically at Edith, I followed him. She waved off the waiter and fell into line.

  “Capricorn, the goat,” Alton said excitedly.

  “You must try the goat cheese appetizer,” Edith urged.

  “Aquarius,” Alton read the next card aloud.

  “There’s a theme for th
e menu tonight. It’s based on the Zodiac,” Edith announced. “Aquarius is the reason all the wine tonight is being poured from water jugs.”