Eternal

by Pati Nagle

  Amanda…

  What?

  I love you.

  I wanted to run back to him and jump his bones. That would just bother him, so I stayed where I was.

  I love you too.

  I felt a flood of warmth—physical and emotional—so strong it took my breath away. Took an effort to make myself find the door handle.

  I’m going, but not because I want to.

  I know.

  Once you’ve—hunted, lets spend some time together, OK?

  He didn’t answer right away. He hated the whole idea of hunting, I was sure. It was really just a polite term for something pretty awful.

  I would like that.

  I knew that was all I was going to get. I opened the door and slipped out.

  A rush of fear went through me as I realized I hadn’t checked first. Fortunately, the garden and the portal were uninhabited. I hurried to my room, sprawled on my bed, and fantasized about Savhoran until someone knocked on my door.

  “Man?” Len called through the door. “Lunch time.”

  Lunch was subdued. The clan came and got plates and took them away to the library. I was a little offended, but Madóran and Len didn’t seem to care.

  After we cleaned up, Madóran fetched a couple of books and the three of us worked on ælven in his little sitting room. The afternoon went by fast. I felt like I was starting to get the hang of it.

  Len and I helped fix supper. Madóran had us set the table in the great room. Over dinner, they discussed the watch schedule. Madóran was going to share watches in the plazuela with Caeran while the other three watched outside. Caeran offered to take the second shift.

  “Savhoran can help,” I said.

  Faranin shot a look at me. “He needs rest.”

  “He’d want to help.”

  “Perhaps tomorrow,” Lomen said.

  They spent a lot of time discussing how long they should stick to the defensive plan. I kept pushing for going back to Albuquerque. It was sunset when we all got up from the table, and dusk by the time Len and I finished cleaning up the supper dishes. I tagged along with her back to Madoran’s sitting room. Madóran was there, and he’d taken his robe off. Fortunately he had pants on, so I didn’t have a heart attack. But I did stand there staring.

  He was making a bit of noise opening drawers.

  “I cannot find my heavier tunic. I want to wear it for my watch.”

  “Uh…bathroom?”

  Did I mention that ælven guys have gorgeous bodies? All the ones I’d ever seen, anyway.

  Madóran turned around and looked at me. I hastily looked at the floor.

  “Um, I should go.”

  “No, wait please.”

  I heard sliding fabric and looked up. He’d pulled on a tunic, which he usually didn’t wear except when gardening.

  “You must not take everything Pirian says seriously, Amanda.”

  “OK,” I said.

  “He is alben, and while I believe he is not allied with Kanna, he has spent too long feeding on humans to see them as anything but beneath him.”

  “Yeah, I got that impression.”

  Never mind that we were beneath all the ælven, too. At least they didn’t rub it in. Usually.

  He offered to walk me to my room, and I accepted. Even with his company, I kept a nervous eye on the garden as we walked around the portal. When we reached my door, Madóran moved to open it.

  “Actually, I’d like to visit Savhoran. He can see me home.”

  “I will go with you.”

  We continued a couple of steps, then he stopped. “Savhoran needs to feed.”

  “Yeah, I was telling him that earlier. He said he was going to hunt tonight.”

  “Ah. I hope he does so.”

  When we reached Savhoran’s door, he knocked. No answer. Madóran frowned, then put his hands and forehead on the door like I’d seen before. After a minute he straightened up and opened the door.

  “Savhoran?”

  Nothing. Madóran went in and I followed, heart suddenly pounding.

  He flipped on a light switch. The room was empty.

  = 12 =

  Madóran stood frowning at the empty room. He glanced at me, then relaxed his features.

  “He must have gone hunting.”

  “Yeah,” I said, but it didn’t feel right. My gut was telling me something was wrong.

  I thought back to my last conversation with Savhoran. I’d talked about him needing to feed, and he’d agreed. He was upset that I’d talked with Pirian.

  “Maybe Pirian heard him leave,” I said. The rooms were adjacent.

  I felt stupid as soon as I said it. Even if he did hear, what would that tell us? That Savhoran was gone, which we knew.

  Pirian was hungry too.

  I swallowed. Now that I remembered I was his favorite food, his room was too close to mine for comfort.

  Madóran looked at me. “Pirian has pledged to leave my guests alone.”

  “And you trust him?”

  “In this, yes, so long as he is not unduly tempted. Do not approach his room alone.”

  “Right.”

  He watched me as I tried to shake off the willies. “You are uncomfortable.”

  “I’ll be all right.”

  “Would you help me in the great room? The table needs polishing.”

  “OK.”

  He was humoring me. It was a kind gesture, though, and I was grateful.

  He gave me rag and a bottle of polish. I was surprised that the bottle was a modern plastic squeeze type, but I figured it was easier to use than a jar. The polish, of course, was homemade. It smelled like beeswax and oranges.

  I worked the table over while Madóran walked around the room tidying. I was just about finished when heard an owl outside. I peeked out the nearest window. No owl. Just Madóran, standing out in the driveway past Len’s car.

  I frowned. Turned around. Saw Madóran by the bookshelf.

  I looked back out the window. The figure there moved. It couldn’t be Madóran, but it was wearing the tunic he’d been looking for. Right after I told Savhoran that the alben had it in for Madóran.

  He moved again, and I was sure. It was Savhoran. My stomach sank so hard I expected to hear a thud.

  “No,” I whispered.

  I ran for the entryway and the front door. No way could I let Savhoran set himself up as bait, not in his weak condition.

  “Amanda—”

  No time to explain. I opened the door and ran out.

  “Amanda!”

  I was out and on the driveway. Savhoran wasn’t standing where he’d been. I glimpsed him running north across the field.

  “Savhoran!”

  He didn’t hear me. I ran after him, kept yelling. Finally he turned around.

  “Amanda! Go back!”

  “Not without you!”

  I was panting hard. I leaned my elbows on my knees, feeling sick. I still had the bottle of polish in one hand.

  Savhoran came running back to me. He caught me by the shoulders.

  Amanda, please go inside.

  I know what you’re doing, but you can’t expect to win when you’re starving.

  He closed his eyes. I have to try.

  You have to eat. I’m not going back in unless you come with me or—or feed from me now.

  Amanda!

  I mean it. You’re not going to leave me behind.

  I heard a shout from the house and looked back. Madóran was running toward us.

  Three things happened really fast.

  Savhoran yelled to Madóran in ælven. Madóran tripped and stumbled to his knees.

  And the alben female grabbed Savhoran.

  I screamed, not in fear as much as in anger. She’d come out of nowhere, and she had Savhoran in a stranglehold, on his knees, in two seconds flat.

  I did the only thing I could think of. I squirted furniture polish at the alben’s face.

  Yeah, not a great weapon. It was all I had, and it worked, so
rt of.

  I’d got it in her eyes. She couldn’t see, and maybe it stung a little. She sure screamed like it did. She shouted at me too; I figured it was ælven cuss-words.

  She still had hold of Savhoran. I was worried she was hurting him. I moved around behind her, slid a foot out and hooked it around her shin, and tugged. Both of them toppled to the ground, but she didn’t let go.

  I stood over her and squeezed the polish all over her face until the bottle was empty, then dug in my pocket for my pepper spray. She had a mouthful of beeswax and was spluttering. She spat, coughed, and cussed some more.

  There was shouting from the direction of the house. The alben heard it too; suddenly she let Savhoran go. She got to her feet, glared at me, and dealt me a roundhouse punch that sent me to the ground.

  I was a little woozy for the next few minutes. I’d never been hit like that, not even in playground wars. My ears were ringing and my cheek throbbed.

  Someone tenderly hauled me up to a sitting position. My head swam. Arms folded me close, and I knew it was Savhoran. That was his smell, underneath the beeswax.

  Voices. I didn’t pay attention. Too busy coping.

  Savhoran loosened his hold on me and I felt Madóran’s hands on my face. Usually they were warm; now they were cool. I sighed as he made the pain ebb away.

  Someone carried me into the house. I was too stunned to notice who, but it wasn’t Savhoran and I doubt it was Madóran. They took me to my room and laid me on the bed. I heard them talking in ælven. Savhoran said “no” to something; I had a guess what.

  I tried to move, but my head didn’t like that and my neck was sore. I opened my eyes. Madóran was in the chair by my bed. Savhoran was sitting next to me; I could just see his profile.

  Madóran looked at me and touched my face. “You are a brave child.”

  I shrugged, then winced. “Can’t let her beat on my guy.”

  He laughed. Savhoran leaned over to kiss my forehead.

  “She left, huh?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Madóran said. “Lomen and Bironan were coming from the house. They went after her.”

  Here we go again.

  I didn’t want to think about it. Despite Madóran’s healing, I felt unwell. I closed my eyes. Savhoran took my hand and squeezed it.

  Madóran said something in ælven. Savhoran replied.

  “Shall I leave?” I said. Too sarcastic, but I was getting cranky.

  “I apologize for my rudeness,” Madóran said. “I was telling Savhoran that he must feed tonight.”

  “I cannot endanger my friends,” Savhoran said.

  “To accept a small gift will not endanger anyone.”

  “And another, and another?”

  “This situation is unusual.”

  I kind of thought that everything about the ælven was unusual, but I kept it to myself. If they picked up on my thought, they were polite enough not to show it.

  I put some white light around myself. Better late than never.

  The next minute I felt a strange prickling on my arms. Opened my eyes and saw them both staring at the east wall of my room. In that direction were the bathroom and the treatment room.

  “Your hunger excites his,” Madóran said. “Please, Savhoran, for the sake of harmony.”

  Savhoran didn’t say anything. I watched him, wishing I could hold him. Instead I squeezed his hand. Best I could do.

  “I know,” I said. “I can drive Savhoran to Las Vegas in Len’s car. Big enough town, right?”

  “You are in no condition to drive,” Madóran said.

  “Let me nap for an hour or so. Be good as new.” I knew that wasn’t true, but I did think I’d be able to manage walking and driving in an hour.

  “No, that would—”

  “I would prefer that,” Savhoran said. “At least I will be away from this village.”

  “Better to let us help,” Madóran said.

  “No. Even if all of you shared the burden, in the long run there are not enough of you to aid me without endangering yourselves. I must do this myself. If I knew how to drive, I would go alone.”

  “Well, you won’t let me help the obvious way,” I said.

  He kissed both my hands. It sent a tingle all through me.

  “You are the last person from whom I want such help.”

  I smiled a little.

  “Len or Caeran could drive you,” Madóran said.

  Savhoran thought about that. I bit my lip. I wanted to be with him, to make sure he didn’t do anything suicidal again, but he probably didn’t want me around while he went hunting.

  “No,” Savhoran said quietly. “Amanda made the offer. I would rather go with her.”

  You could have knocked me over with a feather. If I hadn’t already been knocked over.

  “Very well.” Madóran stood and went to the door. “I will return in two hours to check on you.”

  When he was gone, Savhoran kissed me: sweetly, tenderly. From the look of pity on his face, I figured I looked pretty awful.

  He must have held me until I went to sleep. I woke up alone, in the dark. For a second I panicked, then I felt him—not physically, but through khi I guess. He was sitting in the bedside chair, which he had placed with its back to the door.

  “My guardian angel,” I mumbled.

  “How do you feel?”

  I paused to think about it. I had a headache, and the left side of my face ached a little. Probably had a huge bruise, but overall I didn’t feel too bad.

  Very carefully, I sat up. My head didn’t swim. “I’m OK. An aspirin would help.”

  He didn’t say anything, which probably meant he didn’t know what aspirin was. Ælven probably never needed it.

  “I’m going to turn on the light,” I said, reaching for the nightstand.

  “All right.”

  I switched on the bedside lamp, then got up and rummaged in my dresser drawer for aspirin. Found the bottle, and took two with the glass of water Madóran had left for me. Then I risked a glance at the mirror over the dresser.

  The light wasn’t very bright, but I’d expected to be able to see the bruise. I walked closer to the mirror and turned my head. Only the faintest dark spot right over my cheekbone. I touched it and it felt tender, but didn’t scream with pain.

  “Damn, he’s good.”

  “Who?”

  “Madóran. Look, you can hardly tell.”

  I went over to Savhoran and he stood up. I showed him my face. He looked sad, then he kissed me gently right on the bruise.

  “I am sorry you were hurt.”

  “Same to you. Did Madóran give you a zap?”

  He laughed. “No. She did not hurt me, not as you were hurt.”

  “What time is it?”

  Rhetorical question: the ælven didn’t seem to care much about time. I dug out my cell phone and saw that it was almost ten.

  It would take almost two hours to drive to Las Vegas. Part of me wanted to crawl back into bed, but I knew I couldn’t do that. If Savhoran didn’t feed that night he’d be in a bad way. Even I could see that.

  I put my phone in my pocket, then checked that my pepper spray was in the other pocket. Not leaving the house without it again.

  “Let’s go borrow the car keys.”

  “Let me change my tunic, then I can return Madóran’s to him.”

  When Savhoran opened the door, I smelled rain. Out in the garden the flagstones were wet, and the water in the fountain was dancing.

  The monsoons had arrived, maybe. Regardless, rain is a blessing in New Mexico. I took it for a good sign.

  We went to Savhoran’s room for him to change, then around to Len and Caeran’s room. They were up. Apparently Madóran had talked to them. I expected Caeran to insist that he drive, but he didn’t say anything. Len just handed over the keys.

  “Want us to come along?”

  I bit my lip. Part of me did, but this was a short errand, and I didn’t expect to see the alben again that night. She had ne
ver attacked twice in a day.

  I also suspected Savhoran didn’t want spectators.

  “Nah,” I said. “Thanks, though. We’ll be back soon.”

  “Be careful,” she said. “It’s raining.”

  “I will.”

  I hugged her. Not sure why, just spur of the moment. “I’ll buy you a tank of gas,” I said.

  “Thanks. It needs it.”

  Savhoran and I went around to the entryway and out the front door. I paused, looking around as if I could spot the alben. Hah.

  Maybe Lomen and Bironan had already caught her. That would be sweet.

  She probably wouldn’t come to the house again that night. We should be all right.

  The back of my neck prickled as I told myself that. I looked at Savhoran, who was scanning the horizon. If the alben was around, he’d notice her first.

  We got in the car and I checked the gas. About a third of a tank, which should get us to Las Vegas. I started it up and drove down the long driveway to the road. Didn’t dare do much over the limit on the unfamiliar roads in wet weather. I paused at the stop sign in Mora, reading signs to make sure I turned the right way.

  Something crashed into my car door.

  For a second I thought we’d been in an accident. Then it happened again.

  I glanced up, saw the alben through my window. Screamed “No!” as she aimed a punch that took out the glass.

  I acted purely on instinct. Wrenched the wheel around and gunned the engine.

  My hind brain must have told me to head west, away from Las Vegas. I concentrated on staying on the road while driving as fast as possible.

  We hit a straight stretch and I sped up. Prayed no cows were wandering on the road at night.

  “You OK?” I said.

  “Yes.”

  “Is she following us?”

  “Yes.”

  I floored it, and kept it floored until we got into some twisty mountain roads and I had to slow down. There were steep drop-offs that made me clutch the steering wheel, probably gorgeous in the daytime but scary as hell at night, in the rain.

  My heart was pounding. Every minute I was expecting another attack.

  We were somewhere southeast of Taos, in the middle of nowhere in the mountains, when the car coughed and died.