She swallowed and shifted her gaze to him. “Like I just stepped off a cliff.”
Her analogy was amusing, and not too far from the truth. “In a way, you have. Only, in this case the cliff was holding you prisoner.”
“I am to be alone,” she choked.
He put an arm around her and spoke as soothingly as he could. “You are not alone. You have a whole crew who want to be your friends. If you need me, I’ll be here for you.”
She bit her lip. “When I am not in the wagon, what do I do?”
“Whatever you want.”
“How about where I sleep?”
“Get a room somewhere, you have money,” Trying to anticipate her next question, he said, “And when you’re not on the road riding in the wagon, you can walk into any inn and get a meal.”
“You will stay with me?” she asked cautiously.
“That’s what I said.” He tipped his head to touch hers. “I know you are confused; but believe me, in a few months you’ll be wondering why you stayed a slave for so long.”
She sat in silence for a moment then took his arm from her shoulders and got up. Going to the door, she shut it and started removing her clothes. Tayan averted his eyes, waiting for her to put something back on.
“Here, I will not be needing these anymore.”
He looked up to see she was holding her gray slave clothes in her hand. She was also naked. This was the first time he had seen her scars. Not thinking, he stared at them and traced a few of the thick welts that covered her stomach.
“Dear Odin,” he breathed.
“If I can find no place to sleep, would you let me share your bed?” she demanded with anger in her voice.
He sensed she was asking about more than actual sleeping arrangements. He stood up and took her in his arms. “Ellie, you will find a man who loves you and does not care about your scars.”
She didn‘t hug him back, just stood with her arms hanging on her sides. Her voice was tinged with acid. “Like you do not?”
He slipped back enough to hold her face in his hands. Looking into her eyes, he said, “I love someone else. If I did care for you, those scars would not matter one bit.”
“You are confusing as hell!” she snapped then brought her hand to her face. Moving out of his grasp, she went to her coveralls and snatched them up. She looked at them and shook them at him. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Please tell me you are not going to let me starve!”
“You will not starve. I will help you however I can.”
“You better,” she mumbled and quickly put her clothes on. Once dressed, she opened the door, pausing before she went out. Her voice was a mix of fear and anger. “I feel betrayed. After all I went through for you, it is clear you want nothing to do with me. I will be the sighter for Captain Angler, and I will do my best. Maybe he will appreciate me!” She slammed the door on the way out, which made an echoing clang.
He sat down with a sigh and picked up the bowl of fruit. She hadn’t taken the news very well, but at least he had done what he needed to do. He remembered the day Duke Toma had told him he couldn’t change a born-and-bred slave into a free woman. Picking up an apple, he told it, “See, you bastard, I did it.”
By afternoon, the trees had thinned dramatically. The landscape inclined upward, and the wagons chugged louder as they built up more pressure to climb. They followed a section of ancient road cut into the hills. The crest of one hill was split, the road carved into solid rock; and to each side were soaring rock walls. When the road descended, it was easy to see that the ridge it ran on had been built just for that purpose.
Tayan marveled at the engineering that had gone into its construction. Huge amounts of dirt and rock had been moved to make two wide surfaces, one beside the other. They stopped on one section that was elevated a good hundred feet from the valley below. In the valley was a stream feeding a small pond. Tayan send scouts to find a way down to get water. None was found, so a bucket brigade was set up from the road down the steep banks of the ridge to the pond. It took all of the men and Sir Parson’s knights to form a living chain.
They worked until nightfall, filling the wagons. Thankfully, enough wood had been collected that they didn’t need to work into the night gathering that as well. Tayan decided to send two tractors ahead in the morning so crews could find and start felling trees before the rest of the column moved.
His foresight paid off. The advance tractors found a small lake surrounded by the last thick group of trees they could see for miles. One of the boilermen came up with the idea of lining the inside of a towed wagon with tarred canvas then filling it with water. The idea was sound, but when it was filled the wheels sank into the ground and they broke the hitch trying to move it. Experimenting, they found the most they could fill one was halfway before the wagon became too heavy. Using this method, they half-filled four towed wagons. The men that had been riding in the wagons now rode either inside the battlewagons and tractors or clung to the outside and top of the machines. General Cooper did some figuring and decided they had increased their range another two days.
The stop at the small lake cost them a day’s travel. Then one of the tractors broke down and cost them another. They finally set off again, and the road became straight and flat.
After the fourth day on the grasslands, Tayan walked back to a collection of tents near the last tractors that pulled the horse wagons. Two priests were talking in front of the largest tent as he came up. The white collars on their brown robes told him they were Brothers.
“Good afternoon, Brothers,” he said and gave a slight bow. “Is Father Fisher available?”
Both men smiled, and one said, “He is involved at the moment, M’lord. I will see if he can be disturbed.”
The Brother went in. He came back out and held the flap open. “Father Fisher will see you, M’lord.”
Tayan uttered a thanks and went in. Father Fisher sat in a folding chair, leaning on his walking stick. On his seeing Tayan, a grin crept across his aged face. “Welcome to Odin’s house, M’lord. Please, have a seat,” he said, indicating a mat in front of him.
“My business is brief.” He knelt on one knee. “We need to get these wagons to a lake, the only one on the plains. General Cooper has told me that by using the ancient roads we have extended our ability to travel. Both I and the general have done everything we can conceive of to reach this destination. I would like to ask if there is any way Odin can help us.”
Father Fisher eyed him. “Do you attend church?”
“Not since my wife died,” he answered honestly.
“Ahh,” Father Fisher breathed, as if this was an answer. He shifted his cane to lean on his shoulder. “A time when you need Odin the most, yet you turn your back on him.”
Tayan wasn’t so sure now about his decision. He had wanted this to be quick, fearing he might see Amber. “Look, Father, I don’t have much time.”
“You have no faith,” the priest stated. “If you had faith then you would know Odin is with you and will guide you if you let him.”
Tayan shrugged. “I thought maybe an extra prayer or two might help.”
“Prayer always helps,” Father Fisher nodded. “Continue to pray, and keep watch for Odin’s signs.”
A mental picture, as clear as a sign hanging off a building, came to his mind; it read “big mistake.” “I was hoping you would offer a prayer.”
The priest’s face became solemn. “I have offered many prayers, prayers not only to ask that our holy mission be victorious but also prayers to keep us safe and our souls at ease. Just a short while ago, I was offering prayers with Sister Amber to help her through her troubled times.”
Involuntarily, Tayan rubbed his forehead. “I never meant to hurt her. Could you tell her that for me?”
“I am a priest, not a messenger service.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said defensively. “It’s just that I can’t be around her, not anymore. She doesn’t need me interferin
g with the path she’s chosen.” He leaned towards the priest in an attempt to make him understand. “Father, it’s not that I don’t love her, I do. If I ever were to want another wife I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather be with. The fact remains that Lucinthia died for me. How can I possibly ask Amber to leave her robes, and her life, for someone who can’t protect the ones he loves?”
Father Fisher was unmoved by his outburst. Slowly, he said, “A Sister will always be a Sister, even if she marries. Tell me more about the death of your wife. Did she live a happy life before she died?”
“We were happy. There were times when the pressure of being a princess got to her, but I did my best to make up for it.” As he thought about their last days together, his fist tightened. “The day of the attack we had a fight. She wanted me to talk to my father and, I don’t know, come to terms with him.”
The pain of that day became fresh in his mind. It was the last day of her life, and instead of telling her he loved her he had an argument with her. He felt like he was going to choke as he continued. “A vlak was after us, and it caught us.” Tears clouded his vision. “I told her to hide so it wouldn’t find her. I knew I was dead, but she had a chance to stay alive.” A sob escaped his throat. He squeezed his fist as if this would ease the agony. “She could have lived! All she had to do was keep her mouth shut!” His knee gave way in his grief. He fell to sit and look at the floor. “She screamed for him!” he cried. “The last words I heard from her was her screaming for him!”
“Did he come?” Father Fisher asked calmly.
Wiping the tears from his eyes, he looked up. “Oh, yes. He came, he killed the vlak, but that didn’t help my wife, did it?”
Father Fisher sat on the floor in front of him. “Your wife gave up her life for yours, just as you were trying to do for her. You should be thankful for such deep love.”
Tayan glared at him through his clouded vision. “I should be thankful that son of a bitch let my wife die? He managed to save me, why not her! Can you tell me that?”
To his surprise, Father Fisher slapped him. Raising a bony finger at him, he said, “Listen, young man! You are too quick to pass judgment and far too quick to hate. Might it occur to you that he couldn’t save her? Too many souls are lost for just this reason. You are consumed with things that might have been.”
The slap calmed him but didn’t change what he felt. “Things that might have been,” he whispered. “If Odin is as merciful as you say, I might have never been.”
“I never said Odin is merciful. Odin does have his plan, and that is what we must accept.” Struggling to his feet, Father Fisher went back to his chair. He sat down and eyed Tayan sadly. “If your wife lived a happy life and went into Odin and Leighna’s embrace when she passed on then you should be thankful. When you pray, talk to your wife as well. Let go of the anger you hold.”
Tayan couldn’t remember the last time he had prayed. Even when he did go to church he just bowed his head and waited for the “amen.” As he thought about it, to ignore Odin for so long then to ask help to find this damned lake, just didn’t seem right. He had no idea why he had told the priest as much as he did about Lucinthia‘s death. It was just something that had eaten at him for so long he had to let it out to someone.
“I’m not too good at praying, but I’ll give it a shot.”
“Just talk, Odin will listen,” Father Fisher suggested.
“Even if I don’t forgive him either?” he whispered.
“Start by forgiving yourself then ask Odin for guidance.”
He gave a sarcastic chuckle. “Right now, I’ll settle for a lake.”
“I will pray for you,” Father Fisher said sternly. “Unless you set your soul right, a lake is of no consequence.”
“It is to those steam wagons.”
“The will of Odin is not carried by steel machines that move. It is carried by us.” Father Fisher flicked his eyes to the far corner of the tent. “M’lord, if you insist that this lake is so important, I must have someone stay with you to help you set your soul right.”
“That has been my task all along,” Amber said from the corner of the tent.
Tayan twisted his head so hard to look at her he felt his neck crack. She had been there the whole time! She had heard every damn word he said. How was he going to explain it?
She came over to him. Squatting down, she cupped his face in one hand as she locked eyes with him. “I was so consumed with my feelings I forgot why I came with you. We will conquer evil. First, we must do as Father Fisher said and get your soul straight.” Standing up, she twitched her fingers, signaling for him to take them. “Come on, we have much work to do.”
The power of speech eluded him as he took her hand and got up. Many thoughts raced through his head; he ached to organize them enough to say something intelligent. Amber wasn’t supposed to know he loved her. The last thing he had wanted her to find out was that he had let his wife die. Yet, every time he thought he had what he wanted to say straight, it either sounded like he was wallowing in self-pity or that he didn’t care enough about her.
They were walking along a line of steam tractors when Amber broke the silence. “I have come to find that life is not as simple as we’d like it to be. I am not as crude as Odif, so I won’t slam you into one of these wagons and yell at you. I am going to ask that you believe me when I tell you that all things work out in the end.”
A grin cracked his face. “So, when is the end?”
“I don’t know.” She clasped his hand and laced her fingers through his. “I do know that, whether as husband and wife or a Lord and his Priestess, we will see it together.”
He looked to see her eyeing him. “You aren’t going to give up on me, are you?”
“Nope. How‘s Ellie?”
“She’s doing good. I’m no longer her favorite person in the world, but she knows she’s free.”
Amber gave his hand a squeeze. “Very good. Can we go see her?”
“Sure.” He lifted their clasped hands. “Second battlewagon from the front. They were spreading the canvas in case it rains tonight.” Looking up at the clear sky, he added, “I don’t think we’ll have much luck there.”
She jerked on his arm to get his attention. Looking at him sternly, she said, “Have a little faith, honey. Have a little faith.”
Tayan didn’t see any sign of rain on the horizon, though his own mood was less cloudy. Seeing her frown made him grin--he loved the way she knitted her brows together. “I’ll try.”
She tried hard not to grin back. Still, a corner of her lip curled up. “We will pray together tonight. You will start, and it will be meaningful.”
He cringed inside, but what had he expected? “I will, it will be,” he said, wondering if he could pray and actually mean it. The sun was on the horizon; he had a few hours to prepare himself. Until then, he had things to do. “Let’s go see Ellie.”
Ellis was quite pleasant with Amber, though she ignored him until Captain Angler growled at her to show some respect. Even then, she only gave him a crisp greeting and stated she had to get back to work. She might hate him, but she was free. To Tayan, this was an equitable trade.
True to her word, Amber stayed by his side and followed him to his quarters after dinner. She made him kneel down in the middle of the floor and begin the prayers. Kneeling in front of him, she held his hands with her talisman between them and waited for his stumbling devotion to be over. Not sure what to say, he asked Odin to help them find the lake so their mission could continue then tacked on a few words about promising to renew his faith. After his “amen,” Amber gripped his hand to let him know not to move and spoke more eloquently.
“Leighna, our light and salvation, we thank you for this day you have given us, and your help on our holy journey to rid the land of the evil that plagues us. Let us continue to walk in your light. I ask that you help this man find peace and keep him safe from the darkness that threatens us all. I also ask you to let Lucinthia know t
hat he is thinking of her. His love for her withstands the separation of death. Let her feel this love and be joyous, and let him know the love she feels for him so he may carry on. It is in your divine light that we live, and in your name we pray, amen.”
He was doing well, partially feeling some comfort from her prayer, until she mentioned Lucinthia. As she asked Leighna to let his wife know he still loved her, he found he was, indeed, praying along. More than anything, he wanted his dead wife to know the harsh words they had spoken meant nothing. He couldn’t stand thinking she had died believing he was angry with her, not only for the argument but also because she had summoned his father, forfeiting her own life. Right after Amber finished her prayer, he gripped the talisman and prayed with all his heart.
“Please forgive me,” he choked.
Amber put her arms around him, and he hugged her tight. Her softness and the sweet aroma of her hair was the very essence of love and forgiveness. He found it very hard to let go. Eventually he did, for no matter how badly he wanted her to console him, she was a Sister and he would not cause her disgrace again.
That night, they were hit with one of the worst rainstorms he had ever seen.
***
“Tell me again what you saw,” Zodiac ordered the scout.
The man in brown leathers told him again, glancing every now and then at Stazor, who sat on his barded horse beside Zodiac. “We found the lake, tracks are everywhere. Besides hoarcs and men, there were pilgyn tracks, and Gus said one set looked like vlak. The tracks cover the whole area ahead, but they are mixed up--we can’t tell what direction they were going.”
“These plains are flat, so set trails aren’t used,” Zodiac mused.
“Could you determine a general direction?” Stazor asked.
“Not really. For every set we saw going one way, another went in the opposite direction. Signs are all over the place, but we didn’t run into anything.”
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