by Sky Corgan
“Oh God, Ember. I had no idea. I'm so sorry.” Colton's grip on me tightens, and he kisses the top of my head before gently raking his fingers through my hair. “I promise that I'll never hurt you like that, promise that I'll never pressure you into anything that you don't want to do. I may joke from time to time, but it's only that. I don't ever want to overstep your boundaries or make you feel uncomfortable. If I do, you'll tell me, alright. Promise me that you'll tell me.” He pulls me back by the shoulders to look at him.
“I promise.” I nod meekly. “Thank you for being so considerate. I really do appreciate it.”
The rest of our date is spent talking about more pleasant things. We walk around the reflection pool and people watch. There's still an uneasiness in my chest, but I think it's more from the fact that I shared something with him that only my psychologist knows, and I'm afraid that he's secretly judging me and might not want to see me anymore. That would be a big red flag for any man—scare most of them away. Emotionally scarred girl who is terrified of sex. He's gorgeous and stable and can have anyone he wants. I don't really understand why he'd stick around after hearing that story.
If it has made him want me less, though, I can't tell. He continues to hold my hand and smile at me like nothing is wrong—like what we shared with each other is in the past, and it's time to move on from that and just enjoy being together. I like that idea, but I can't seem to let go. I wish I could. I wish it were as easy for me to return to a carefree state as it is for him.
After about an hour of leisurely touring the park, we return to my car, and I drive him back to the restaurant. There's an open space by his BMW, so I pull into it so that he doesn't have to walk far. The fact that we're about to part ways gives me a dark foreboding feeling. I worry that I might not ever see him again—that this might be the end for us.
“I had a great time. Sorry for all of the deep conversation,” I tell him as I stare straight forward.
“I enjoyed it. It helped me to get to know you better.” Colton takes my hand in his, drawing my attention to him.
“I'm worried that the more you know about me, the less you'll want to get to know me better.”
“That's not true, Ember. I think that all of your experiences have made you who you are, and that's an amazingly strong person.” He brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, and I lean into his touch, enjoying it a bit too much.
“You're so sweet. You don't even seem real.”
“I'm very real. Let me show you how real I am.” He leans in to kiss me, and I resist the urge to pull away. Why I would want to pull away, I don't even know. He's been nothing but incredible.
As soon as our lips meet, the hesitation I was feeling fades away. His kiss is gentle at first, almost as if he's asking for permission. I unbuckle my seat belt so that I can reach him better, reaching to wrap my hand around the back of his neck and curl my fingers into the hair at his nape.
It's all the invitation he needs to deepen the kiss. His tongue dances over mine, and I taste him, savoring him. Need surges through me the likes of which I've never felt before. After our talk at the park, I feel connected to him—feel attraction on a deeper level. I brave capturing his bottom lip between my teeth and giving it a good tug, silently begging him for more. He pulls away from me, pressing our foreheads together.
“Christ, Ember. How can you possibly expect me to control myself when you do something like that?” his voice is all seduction.
“I'm so glad we're in my car and not in the park still. Behind a tree is starting to sound good,” I confess.
He glances into my backseat, which I try my best to keep immaculately clean. After living with slobs for most of my life, cleanliness is important to me. “It's not beyond me to have sex in public.”
“No sex, remember.” I give him a half-sincere look.
“You're such a tease.” He leans in again, trailing his mouth from my lips across my cheek to my ear, planting feathery kisses as he goes. When he nips at my earlobe, I shiver. “Please let me touch you. I need more than this. I'm not asking for sex. Just a little more.”
“Just a little more,” I breath, knowing that I want it just as much as he does.
The armrest between us makes things a bit awkward, but Colton still manages to get his hands around my waist. He tries to pull me over to him, but when I don't budge, he changes tactics, placing his hand on my thigh instead.
My heartbeat speeds up as his hand makes its ascension under my skirt. I look down at it while his mouth travels to my neck. The skirt is so tight that I can see the perfect outline of his fingers—know exactly how close he is to the heat of my sex.
Warning sirens go off in my head—the guarded part of me that says this is wrong—but I push past them, knowing that this is what I need to heal. And he's been so good that I feel I owe it to him to touch me. More than that, I owe it to myself to allow him to give me sexual pleasure. I've reached a milestone today. Trusted someone else with my past. Now I need to trust that he meant what he said and won't hurt me.
Despite the range of emotions rolling through me, I spread my legs for Colton the best I can in the skin-tight dress. It gives him very little room, but he's still able to make it work.
A soft moan leaves my lips as he finally reaches my panties. His fingers are so much thicker than mine—feel a lot different than I thought they would. I close my eyes and sink into the sensation of being touched. To my surprise, it doesn't make me feel dirty at all. It feels amazing. So amazing that I have to resist the urge to grind against his hand.
“Colton,” I taste his name in a sensual voice that I've never used before.
“You are going to make me nut just from touching you. You are so incredibly sexy, Ember. Thank you for allowing me to share this moment with you.”
It's a strange thing to hear him say, but it sounds so earnest that it floods my chest with warmth. Every little piece of myself that I give to him is a gift, and I think he knows that. The fact that he's so appreciative—that he seems to acknowledge what a big deal this is to me—only makes me want him more. Only makes me crave his touch more.
“Don't stop touching me,” I breathe, clutching onto his arm.
“I wouldn't dream of it,” he whispers into my ear before trailing his tongue along it.
I shiver as he presses against the seam of sex, zeroing in on my nub. It pulses back against his finger, and I can feel my panties growing moist from knowing he's so close. His touch is sensual and teasing and slow and careful. The perfect combination of everything I need.
“I'm going to make you come. Is that alright?”
“Mhm,” I hum, lost in a state of bliss.
My lips turn into a permanent O as he starts rubbing back and forth, around and around in tight circles. Then his fingers dip lower, pressing against my slit. “You're so wet for me already,” he growls into my ear.
“Oh God, Colton.” I grip his forearm, trying to steady myself. It feels like any moment I could fall over the edge, and he hasn't even touched me that much yet.
“I want to feel your skin. I want to feel how wet you are inside.”
His fingertips crawl to the side of the crotch of my panties, and he digs beneath them before pulling them aside and exposing me. I whimper as the barrier is removed and his index finger taps gently at my clit. There's no question in my mind that it won't be long now before I lose it. I'm holding on with everything I have, but my body is about to give in.
Colton slicks his finger between my folds, and I shift my weight, pushing my hips up slightly to meet him. “Fuck, you're so eager. I want to taste you so badly.”
“You're so crude,” I try to chastise him, but my voice just comes out a wanton mess.
“And you're so wet.” His fingertip stops at my entryway, probing at my inner petals. The thickness of the digit has my clit pulsing non-stop, has me secretly begging him to fill me in any way possible.
“Colton, I...”
“You're what?” He grins, his
expression all seductive smugness.
“Kiss me.”
He acquiesces, his lips crashing against mine with an aggression I haven't felt from him before. Fireworks erupt all around me, and I'm so consumed by the kiss that I don't even see the grand finale coming. Colton plunges his tongue into my mouth. Then he plunges his finger all the way into me. His mouth devours my moan as my eyes roll into the back of my head and the muscles down below go into a fit of contractions that wreck me completely. It's so good that my eyes water. So good that I never even imagined it could be this good.
“Jesus, Ember.” Colton drags his lips across my face and hisses into my ear as my back arches off of the seat and my toes curl.
“Oh my God. Oh my God,” I pant, lost to everything in the world but this moment.
He keeps his finger inside, rubbing his thumb gently over my clit until the contractions subside. It seems to prolong my pleasure—only makes the orgasm better. When it's finally over, he withdraws his hand and pinches my underwear back into place. Then he brings his fingers up to his mouth glistening with my desire and sucks them clean. I stare at him, mesmerized. Nothing has ever looked sexier.
“You taste amazing,” he purrs with closed eyes.
“That was incredible.” I stare up at the roof of my car, trying to catch my breath.
“You're incredible.” He smiles at me.
“You're pretty great too.” I let out a contented laugh.
“Will I see you later?”
“If that's what you want.” I grin from ear to ear, feeling drunk on just being with him.
“That's definitely what I want.” He reaches over to grab the door handle. “Have a good night, beautiful Ember.”
“You too, Colton.”
And with that he leaves me basking in the afterglow of what we've done. Even after he drives away, I just sit there for several minutes smiling and thinking about what an amazing day it's been. Then a frightening realization comes over me. I'm falling for him. I'm falling for Colton Larsen, and there's absolutely nothing that I can do to stop it.
***
Before I even get back to my apartment, Colton has texted me asking me out on another date with him this weekend, this time to a charity function. My heart skips a beat knowing that he still wants to be with me, and I'm almost tempted to pull over onto the side of the road to respond. I don't, though. Instead, I'm responsible and wait until I get home.
The next day at work, the receptionist delivers two dozen red roses in a gorgeous vase to my office saying that a flower company dropped them off earlier. When I read the card attached to them, there's a message from Colton. It says, “A beastly bouquet for 'The Beast.' P.S. Don't throw away the vase. It's real crystal.”
I can't help but laugh at The Beast comment. While the card is far from romantic, the gesture certainly is. I spend the day staring at the flowers and reminiscing about last night. Even though we haven't known each other for long, it feels like our relationship is moving forward by leaps and bounds. That should scare me, but it doesn't. I'm enjoying the way that Colton treats me, and for once I'm actually looking forward to the future.
The next day, I receive another delivery. This time, it's a stuffed bear so large that the receptionist struggles to fit it through the door. Even sitting on the floor, it's every bit as tall as I am. The card attached to this one says, “To keep you warm at night until the day you let me take its place.”
That one really makes me swoon. It gives the air that he's in this for the long haul. And to be honest, so am I. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm now willing to ride this crazy train with him wherever it takes us. I just pray it doesn't go right off of a cliff.
After work, it takes two of my co-workers to help me fit the massive bear in the backseat of my car. By the time we get it in, we're all sweating and panting and exhausted. I thank them and send them on their way, then tap out a quick text to Colton, thinking about what a hard time I'm going to have dragging the thing into my apartment.
Ember: You should have sent me a forklift with the bear.
Colton: Too big for you? ;)
Ember: Are you talking about the bear or something else?
I grin.
Colton: I'm talking about the bear. Pervert!
Ember: lol Like you have any right to call me that.
Colton: You're right. I don't, but it's fun messing with you.
Ember: Seriously, though, it just took me plus two co-workers to get the thing into my car. I have no idea how I'm going to drag it into my apartment. I'm pretty sure it weighs almost as much as I do.
Colton: My evil plan worked!
Ember: What evil plan?
Colton: The evil plan where I order you an oversized gift in the hopes that you'll invite me over to help you get it inside. And then once we get it inside, I can get inside of you.
I roll my eyes, hoping he's not serious.
Ember: Well, I had thought to ask for your help, but on second thought, I've got this.
Colton: Are you sure? I really don't mind going over there.
Ember: Are you going to be good?
Colton: Am I ever good?
You're always good, I want to tell him, but that would give him too much pleasure.
I sit behind the steering wheel of my car thinking. While it would be nice having help getting the bear into my apartment, there's not much of a point in inviting Colton over. As soon as the bear is inside, I need to take off again to go buy a dress. If he came over, I'm pretty sure I'd get distracted and never make it to the store. That would be bad on multiple levels.
Ember: Don't worry about the bear. I'll take care of it. It was a very sweet and thoughtful gift. Despite that fact that moving it around is kind of a pain in the ass, I really do appreciate it.
Colton: I'm not convinced.
His comment makes me feel guilty for complaining, but I know how to turn the conversation around.
Ember: I'll prove it to you tomorrow.
Colton: Is that so?
Ember: That is so.
Colton: Tell me how you plan to prove it.
Ember: I can't right now. I'm about to leave work. After I drop the bear off, I need to go buy a dress for your hoity-toity charity event.
Colton: You should totally show up naked.
I laugh.
Ember: I don't think your hoity-toity friends would approve of that.
Colton: Fuck them. The only one you need to please is me.
Ember: Fuck them? Are we into sharing now?
Colton: I'd kill any man who tried to touch you.
It amazes me how good he is at saying the right thing at the right time. Hearing him be so possessive makes my heart flood with warmth for him.
Ember: I've got to go. I'll talk to you later.
Colton: Drive safe, babe.
Babe. A term of endearment. It's funny how one word can ignite my face with a smile brighter than the sun and make my entire night.
***
I walk into Macy's at The Galleria and go straight to the expensive dress section. The section with dresses for prom and weddings and other events where you buy the dress to only wear it once but the damn thing costs as much as all of the other dresses in your wardrobe combined. The fact that I'm about to drop so much money on a dress is proof that I've got it bad for this guy. I certainly would not be doing this for anyone else.
The first evening gown I pick out is long with lace insets. The cream color goes well with my skin tone, and the position of the insets on the skirt are just high enough to be sexy but also look classy. It's love at first sight...until I look at the price tag. Holy hell, I am not spending nearly five hundred dollars on a dress.
Quickly, I put it back and start shopping for dresses based on price instead of what catches my eye the most. It's almost pathetic how frugal I am, but knowing I'm only going to wear the dress once makes me even less inclined to want to drop more than a hundred dollars on it.
I spend over an hour trying on abo
ut half a dozen dresses before I finally settle on a long black halter dress that I found on the sale rack. It's a sexy little number with a floor-length side ruffle and rhinestone embellishments beneath the bust. I already have the shoes to match it, so that makes it even more of a great buy.
Since I saved so much money on the dress, I wander into Victoria's Secret to buy myself some new lingerie too. It feels so strange walking through the isles looking for something sexy. Up to this point, every lingerie purchase I've made has been for functionality only. Now, I'm shopping for something that will truly knock Colton's socks off. I have no idea when or if he'll ever see it, but I want to be prepared, just in case.
As I look at the variety of styles, I can't help but wonder if he prefers simple lacy things or tight, seductive lingerie. A few corsets catch my eye, but I quickly remind myself that's not me. Besides, I don't want to give him the impression that I'm a bad girl in the bedroom when I'm really not.
“Can I help you find something?” A sales associate pops up from behind a mannequin.
Inwardly, I sigh in annoyance, but in truth, I am having a hard time deciding what I want. “Yes. I'm looking for some lingerie. Something sexy, but not too sexy.”
“Do you want a nightgown or a babydoll?”
I take a moment to consider. Nightgowns make me think of old ladies. A babydoll would be far sexier. “A babydoll.”
“Sheer or opaque?”
“It doesn't really matter.”
“Any preference in color?”
“Preferably something that goes well with my skin tone and hair.”
She looks me over for a moment, thinking. Then her eyes widen as if a light bulb has gone off inside of her head. “I've got just the thing for you. Come this way.” She motions for me to follow her.
Her first selection is a pleated pink babydoll. The shade is soft, almost skin tone, and there's a big bow on the front. It's cute, but it covers too much. Her next selection has the opposite problem. Instead of having fabric all the way around, it's a flyaway babydoll. And the flyaway part is so sheer that I might as well be wearing nothing at all. The underwear is made from the same material, so that's definitely a no-go.