by Sky Corgan
I'm just about to give up hope when my eyes land on a mannequin in the corner sporting a peach-colored lace and mesh babydoll. The top is designed like a bra to give support and has crisscross straps below it that connect with sheer mesh. The underwear matches the bra and offers full coverage. It's sexy while not being overly revealing.
“I'll take this one,” I decide, then wait on the sales associate to find it in my size.
With my packages in tow, I head out to my car with a smile on my face, pleased that I got away with spending just over a hundred dollars on both the lingerie and the dress. If discount shopping were an art, I'd be a master of it. My entire apartment is furnished with stuff from flea markets and second-hand stores, yet if someone didn't know that, they'd think I spent a fortune on furniture.
Of course, even though I got away cheap today, I can't totally attribute that to my thrifty shopping. After all, I did pay full price for the lingerie. Still, I spent far less money than I could have.
When I get home, I'm so excited by my purchases that I try them both on a second time, twirling around and modeling them in front of the mirror. While I want to keep the lingerie a secret, I can't resist the urge to snap a picture of me in the dress and send it to Colton. It doesn't take long before he responds.
Colton: You look stunning.
Ember: You should see what else I bought.
Colton: You should show me.
Ember: Some things are better left to the imagination.
Colton: That makes me think it's something naughty.
Ember: Maybe it is.
Colton: Are you trying to get me all hot and bothered, Miss Washington?
Ember: Maybe I am.
I smirk, feeling devious. The thought of making Colton all hot and bothered makes me hot and bothered. I trace my tongue over my bottom lip as I think of the cock pic he sent me. If things continue with us as they have been, it won't be much longer before I see it in the flesh.
Colton: It's not beyond me to come over there and see for myself. Just say the word and I'll be on your doorstep in thirty minutes or less.
Ember: You make yourself sound like a pizza.
I laugh.
Colton: I'll be hot and ready just for you. ;)
Ember: Such a charmer, you are.
Colton: Want you, I do.
I snort at how adorable he can be.
Ember: That's all you get for tonight, Yoda. The rest will have to wait until tomorrow.
Colton: I'll be looking forward to it.
So will I, though I'm admittedly a bit nervous, and that's only going to build the closer it gets to the actual event.
***
By the following night, I'm a wreck. Nothing seems to be going right. I feel fat in my dress when yesterday I know I looked svelte. I accidentally got mascara on my foundation and smeared my lipstick trying to correct an overdraw. And no matter how much I try to smooth my hair into the perfect high ponytail, I still have frizzies. I wanted to be flawless tonight, and all I can manage is disaster.
When the doorbell buzzes at promptly 6 PM, my stress level is about an eight out of ten. Colton has been nothing but perfect every time I've seen him. He deserves better than this.
Agitated, I fling open the front door, ready to bark at Colton's driver to give me an extra ten minutes to finish getting ready. It's not his driver on the other side of the door, though. Some of the frustration drains from me as I see Colton standing there in a classic tuxedo. He's freshly shaven, and his hair is slicked back away from his face. It's yet another new Colton Larsen look, immaculately put together. I feel like a toad by comparison.
“You look even better than the photo.” He beams at me, his expression nothing but pleased.
“You're too kind,” I tell him sincerely.
“May I come in.” He glances around my doorframe like a vampire that needs to be welcomed in before he can cross the threshold.
“Sure...” I reply hesitantly. “I still need a few more minutes.”
I turn from him to go back into my bathroom and finish adding the last touches to my outfit. My neck looks too plain, so I pair the dress with a teardrop rhinestone necklace. For a moment, I consider going bare, worried that some of the wealthy people at the event will be able to tell it's fake. I definitely don't want to give the impression that I'm cheap, even though I kind of am.
I sigh at my finished ensemble, a lot less pleased with it than I was yesterday. Turning my head from side to side, I look more like a teenager going to prom than a grown woman accompanying a billionaire to a fancy charity event. Part of me feels unworthy to be by Colton's side, an emotion I haven't experienced yet, and that sours my mood.
You've got to put on a fake happy face for him. Screw all of those other people. This isn't about them. This is about you making Colton happy.
With a sigh, I grab my clutch from the bathroom counter and head into the living room to present myself to Colton. When he sees me, he stands, an ear to ear grin spread across his handsome face.
“You look beautiful.”
“If you say so.”
“I do say so. Something is missing, though.” He gives me a curious look, and my heart drops to the pit of my stomach.
“Should I redo my makeup?” I wrinkle my nose at him, still worried that my lipstick is crooked.
“That's not what I'm talking about at all.” He shakes his head before gently picking up the rhinestone teardrop from my chest. “This. Is it important to you?”
Shit. He can tell it's fake.
“Not particularly.” I shift my weight.
“Then you won't mind if I take it off. Turn around.”
I do as I'm told, scowling as soon as we're no longer facing each other. He told me that something was missing, and now he's taking something away. Perhaps he just said that as a kindness.
As soon as he takes off the necklace, I start to turn around. He stops me, though.
“Not yet.”
“Not yet?” I glance at him over my shoulder.
“Not yet.” There's amusement in his voice.
A few seconds later he slips something cold around my neck. The second it touches my skin, my breath hitches. I can't see what it is, so I run my fingers across it. Another necklace.
Once it's in place, he leans forward to whisper in my ear, “They say diamonds are a girl's best friend.”
“Diamonds,” I mouth the word before walking back into the bathroom to look at the necklace.
It glitters around my neck, a long string of diamonds that get gradually larger towards the front of the necklace. It looks stunning paired with my dress, and I know that it's the real deal. Seeing it around my neck fills me with a mix of elation and dread. Getting gifts from men is not something I'm used to. I know that nothing comes for free.
I stand in front of the mirror far longer than I should—a short forever—before I take the necklace off. I keep my eyes low as I return to Colton and grab his hand as soon as I reach him to place the necklace inside.
“It's beautiful, but I can't.” I can't force myself to look at him and see his smile wiped clean.
“You can't what?”
“I can't accept this unless it's a loan.”
“A loan?” he laughs. “What kind of a man do you take me for?”
“The kind who wouldn't blink twice before giving a girl an expensive necklace.” I finally meet his gaze, my expression dead serious.
“Maybe you know me better than I think you do. Because you're right. It's not a loan. It's a gift.”
“A gift I can't accept.”
“Why not?”
“Because everything has a price, Colton.”
He gets the meaning of my words instantly. I wait for him to roll his eyes or become annoyed, but he doesn't.
“You're right. It does have a price.” He glances down at the necklace, rolling the diamonds between his fingertips. “I'm trying to use it to buy a few more dates with you. Is it working?” He smirks at me.
/> A soft grin spreads across my lips. “You know that's not what I mean.”
“But it's exactly what I mean. Wear the necklace. It's a gift. I went out and bought it for you after you showed me the picture of you in that dress. I thought it would look beautiful around your neck. And it means a lot to me for you to wear it. It means that you're accepting me—what it's like to be with me.” He rubs my shoulders. “If this is going to work like you want it to—if you want to date me—then you're going to have to accept that I'm going to buy you gifts. Not just bouquets of roses and stuffed bears, but jewelry too. Jewelry and lingerie and clothes and maybe even cars.”
Cars? You've got to be kidding me.
“Anything that my heart desires for you to have, I will buy you. And I do this not because I want something from you but because it's part of how I show my affection. I like for the people that I care about to have nice things. And I care about you, Ember.” He presses his index finger to my chin and gently pushes it up so that I'm forced to meet his gaze.
When our eyes lock, my knees go weak. The sincerity of his words, the heat in his gaze—it's enough to melt the strongest metal. It has me emotionally puddled around his feet.
“Wear the necklace. For me,” he says before putting it back around my neck.
There are no words within me for a rebuttal. I simply stand there dumbfounded while he clasps it in place, wondering if he's in every bit as deep as I am.
***
The Houston Children's Charity Gala is, no doubt, a black tie affair. The dresses that I see walking around the event are stunning, and the women wearing them even more so. Everyone oozes money. Everyone but me of course. And that admittedly makes me uncomfortable.
I stick to Colton's side like a barnacle as we walk around and he socializes. While not usually big on alcohol, I make sure to always have a drink in my hand. After about an hour, it starts to become a precarious balance between being comfortable and staying sober. At least, thinking about that gives me something to concentrate on other than the fact that I feel so entirely out of place.
Every time that Colton asks me if I'm okay, I lie and say that I am. He can tell I'm not, though. I know he can by the way that he looks at me. Still, he does his best to keep me engaged, introducing me to people without fear or embarrassment of having a nobody at his side.
I'm his date, he says proudly. When people ask how we met, he tells them it was through a business venture. For the most part, I stay silent and he speaks for me. That's perfectly fine by me. To be honest, I'm scared of saying the wrong thing anyway.
Names and faces flash by without a hint of recognition or impression. I try my best to remember that I'll probably never see these people again, so what they think of me doesn't matter. No one looks at me with judging eyes. No one but the women, at least. It's blatantly apparent that more than a few of them don't think I'm worthy to stand by Colton Larsen's side. If jealousy showed up on skin like color on a mood ring, the room would be dotted in green. They look at Colton with lust and me with loathing. It gives me a smug sense of satisfaction to know that I'm his date. That carries me through a lot of the night.
“Not your thing, huh? It's not really my thing either, but I'm a sucker for a good cause, and when you donate as much money as I do, it's a good idea to be present,” Colton tells me.
“No. It's definitely not my thing,” I admit before taking a sip of drink number five.
“It's something else you'll have to get used to if we're going to be together.” He screws his face, knowing I won't be happy to hear this news.
“How often do you do...this?” I gesture around us.
“A few times a year. The events usually aren't this big, though.” He stares out into the crowd, and I see him visibly cringe.
My eyes follow his to a woman walking towards us. She's wearing a long blue gown and her blonde hair is done up in an immaculate French twist. She looks elegant and regal...and familiar.
I blink a few times to make sure I'm not seeing things. When recognition hits me, I feel a mix of elation and panic. It's Doctor Spalding. Why I'm surprised to see her here, I'm not sure.
“Nina,” Colton greets her stiffly.
“Colton.” She nods with a smile that looks forced.
“Fancy seeing you here.”
It's as if she doesn't even notice me standing there. For a moment, it seems like the two of them are in a face-off.
“You know I'm a sucker for a good cause.” Her words mirror his from only moments earlier.
It doesn't take long before I realize that they know each other. Intimately. Judging by how they're interacting, I'd even be willing to bet he's fucked her before. So this is what true jealousy feels like.
“This isn't the type of cause I'd think you'd be a sucker for.” A muscle in Colton's jaw flexes before he turns his attention to me. “Let me introduce you to my date. This is—”
“I know who she is.” She cuts him off, turning to address me. “Hello, Ember. How do you know Colton?”
A sudden hot flash nearly bowls me over. I look at Colton, desperate for him to answer for me. This is the woman who I tell all of my secrets to. I don't want Colton to know she's my doctor, but I also don't want her to know that he's the man I've been seeing, even though I'm pretty sure it's blatantly obvious at this point.
“We met through a business venture,” he replies automatically.
“You took over the company she works for, you mean,” she corrects him.
His expression turns suspicious. “How do the two of you know one another?”
“I'm her psychologist.” Doctor Spalding smiles at Colton as if that information should be a slap to his face. “I've been treating Ember for nearly three years.”
Treating? Isn't it against our confidentiality agreement for her to say that? This conversation has turned from casual to something else in the blink of an eye—something subtly vicious.
“So you two have known each other for a while.” Colton glances between us.
“You could say that,” I chime in.
“Could I speak to Ember for a moment?” Doctor Spalding turns her attention to me.
“You most certainly cannot.” Colton's sudden defensiveness catches me off guard. “We were just leaving. Good evening to you.” He nods politely to Doctor Spalding before taking my hand and practically dragging me away.
“What was that all about?” I ask, following him but looking behind us.
Doctor Spalding watches us, standing still like a statue. There's a strange glimmer in her eyes. I desperately want to know what it is she wanted to say to me. Part of me wants to pull away from Colton and go back to her, but I know that would cause a scene, so I don't.
“That was likely not going to go anywhere pleasant.” Colton avoids the question.
I stay silent until we're in the limo heading back to my place. There's a strange tension in the air that's not dissipating. Colton has never acted like this before. He's obviously upset...and so am I.
Finally, the stress of the night bubbles over. The fact that he's not touching me, not being his usual perverted self—that he's staring blankly into the distance lost to some memory—is driving me insane.
“You fucked her, didn't you?” the words sound far more bitter than they should.
He doesn't even hesitate before responding. “That and worse.”
“Worse?” I look at him like he's about to unveil some dark secret that will be our undoing.
“I got her pregnant.” He glances over at me. “It's a small world, isn't it?”
Everything falls in place in that instant. Nina. She's the Nina from the story he told me at the park. She's his ex-fiance.
“It is a small world,” I reply meekly, and then we fall back into silence until we get to my apartment.
There are no long romantic goodbyes. Colton doesn't try to follow me in. He barely even gives me a kiss on the cheek before he sends me on my way. Judging by how distant he's acting towards me, I can te
ll that he still has feelings for her. If he didn't, then seeing her wouldn't have bothered him at all. Knowing that makes me cry all night. It's the first taste of real emotional pain that I've felt since moving to Houston, and I don't like it one bit.
***
The following day feels like a hangover on multiple levels. Physically, I have a headache from too much alcohol and not enough water. Emotionally, there's a dark foreboding feeling that has taken up residence in the hollow of my chest. Colton hasn't texted me since last night, and I can't help but worry that I may never hear from him again.
I do hear from someone, though.
A little before noon, Doctor Spalding leaves a voice mail on my cell phone asking me if I'll come into her office later. She says that she wants to talk to me, that it won't take long and won't cost me anything.
Nothing but my heart, I think sadly.
Since I really don't feel like hearing the sound of her voice right now, I text her back to confirm an appointment time of 7:30 PM. It's later than our sessions normally are, so I can only assume that she's taking me after hours. The woman books up weeks in advance, so it's the only thing that makes any sense.
Promptly at 7:30 PM, I arrive at her office. She greets me as she normally would, though there's a stiffness about her movements that indicates something has changed. Perhaps she's just as nervous about this as I am. Lord knows, it's not going to be a normal counseling session. I need to hear what she's got to say, though. I want to know the story from her side.
She offers me a bottle of water and leads me inside to sit on the plush sofa in her office and then takes a seat across from me. Her expression is pure seriousness, and there's no warmth behind her eyes—not that there usually is.
“I'm guessing that you called me here to talk about Colton,” I begin. She hasn't even said anything yet, and I already feel like I need to protect what's mine. He is mine. She had her chance. She blew it.
“I suppose that's obvious.” A smile graces her perfect lips.