“To what do I owe this honor?”
Theo didn’t stop, but Jason fell into step behind him, following him to his door. “I need to talk to you. You’re a hard man to get a hold of.”
Theo turned and smirked at him. “I was with Kelsey.”
Jason’s lips tightened and one eye twitched. “What a coincidence. That’s who I wanted to talk about.”
Theo opened the lock and gestured Jason inside. He flicked on the lights and nodded toward the couch. Jason pushed away blankets, dishes, and dirty laundry with a grimace, clearing himself a place to sit. Theo ambled into the kitchen.
“Get you a drink?” he offered.
“No, nothing,” Jason said. “I won’t be here long. I just have something to say.”
Theo raised his eyebrows, returning with a beer to sit in the threadbare recliner opposite him. “Just one thing?”
“I don’t know what you said to her. I don’t know what you did to her to make her offer to be your partner.”
“Believe me, you’re better off not knowing,” Theo murmured.
Jason leaned forward, not tempering his words with any politeness. “Listen, Zamora. This isn’t funny. It’s not a joke, not to me, not to Kelsey. And it shouldn’t be to you. You’re holding an inexperienced, impressionable girl’s career in your hands. I hope you know what you’re doing. I hope you can grasp the concept that this type of manipulation comes with a burden of responsibility.”
“And I hope you can grasp the concept that I manipulated her into nothing,” Theo shot back. “Your star pupil approached me. She offered to do an act with me and I accepted that offer. End of story. At least for you.” Theo lounged back in his chair with a challenging glare. “What is this all about? This strange protectiveness? She is your athlete, nothing more. Or...did you have something more? Have I stolen your plaything?”
“She’s not my plaything,” Jason growled. “Or yours. I never thought of her that way. I only want what’s best for her. Forgive me if I don’t believe going up in the air with you is a wise career move for her. For anyone.”
They were fighting words, and Theo would have enjoyed a fight. He and the pompous American coach would have been an even match, with the other man’s brawn and sense of righteousness, and Theo’s wily strength. It would have given Theo an outlet for his frustration over Kelsey, but it was thoughts of Kelsey that stopped him from attacking Jason. She would give him that reproachful look he couldn’t bear. The look she’d given him when he’d pretended Minya meant nothing to him. The look she’d given him when he’d pretended she meant nothing to him. Theo uncurled his fists and settled for a snort of contempt.
“Don’t worry, Beck. I’ll watch after your sweet, impressionable darling. I won’t drop this one.”
Jason’s already dark expression turned thunderous. “I don’t know how you can joke about it, Theo. I really don’t. It makes me wonder...”
“Wonder what? If I am crazy? If I have no conscience? Believe me, I wonder those things myself. I deal with it in my way.” Like letting an exasperating pest of a gymnast into my life. Letting her under my skin. Into my heart. Jesus. Theo glared at Jason. “Have you said what you came here to say?”
“Not really, no. I can’t say what I really want to say. So let me say this. There are people who are going to be watching, monitoring you. Very carefully. I know you think your seniority and your little ‘thing’ with Lemaitre will protect you, but if you hurt her, I will personally see to it that you pay.”
Theo found the man’s bravado both amusing and unsettling. “What is it you think I will do to her?”
“Well, aside from maiming or killing her, and ruining her career...” The corner of Jason’s mouth turned down and he gave Theo a significant look. “Do I have to spell it out for you?”
Theo’s lips curved in a slow smile. “Yes, I would like you to.”
“Kelsey’s like a child, Zamora. She’s forthright and trusting and vulnerable and raw. If you take her and twist her into another--another Minya--”
“She is not Minya,” Theo snapped.
“Another mindfuck victim for fun and games,” Jason spat, talking over him. “Another fucking lamb to the slaughter--”
“Enough.” Theo’s voice reverberated off the walls of the room. He really hadn’t thought Beck would go there. It took a moment before he could speak without his voice shaking. “You have no right to judge me in this.”
Jason’s voice was like iron. “Keep her away from the Citadel. Keep her away from Lemaitre and his craziness. Marseille is worse than Paris, and even Paris would have been too much for her.” Jason’s eyes narrowed. “Or have you already taken her there?”
“No,” Theo said. “I have not. But...” He traced a finger up the carved arm of his chair. “I think you don’t give her enough credit. She is not exactly what you think. What you want to believe she is. That is all I will say about that.”
“That’s all I want to hear about that.” Jason blew out a frustrated breath. “I wish I could just not care, Zamora. I really do. I wish I was like you, without any scruples, without any sense of right or wrong.”
“It’s a nice life.”
“You’re joking again. Awesome. Well, I’ll tell you one last time. Kelsey is not a joke. Not to me, not to her parents, not to a lot of people who love her. If I find out that you’re doing anything to harm her--”
“Will there be spies? This is getting exciting. I’ll have to enact my plans for her utter destruction on the sly.”
Jason surged to his feet, and Theo met him chest to chest, nose to nose. To his credit, the American coach didn’t flinch, not even under the full power of Theo’s most threatening gaze.
“Do you feel anything for her?” Jason asked. It wasn’t a question Theo expected. Jason’s eyes searched Theo’s for answers, for reassurance. Theo let him see only as much as he wanted him to see, but it seemed to be enough. The man backed off and headed toward the door.
“I’m going to warn her about you, you know,” Jason said, turning. “I’m going to prepare her for the stuff you’ll try to pull.”
“You may be a little late on the draw,” Theo replied, to get in one last jab. “I find it strange, your drive to protect a very capable and strong woman. You always loved to play the white knight. In this case, I’m afraid you’re on a pointless quest.”
Jason shot him one last scowl before exiting and slamming the door.
*** *** ***
It was Kelsey’s last night in Paris. She was almost finished packing the few things she had. Clothes, a few books and CDs. Her laptop. Her pillows and blankets. Her exercise gear--hand weights and drawers full of leotards, sports bras, and leggings. All the things she’d just unpacked a few months before. Well, this was the life of a circus performer. Packing light, never really putting down roots. She was prepared to live like this for a while.
She’d just learned she’d be living in the same house with Theo--and several other performers. There were no official Cirque dorms in Marseille, at least not yet, so the relocation officers with Human Resources had rented out several private residences in the city. Kelsey and Theo would be moving into a multi-bedroom home built in the early 1900s, already occupied by a couple of acrobats, a Russian family doing a strength act, and one of Cirque du Minuit’s singers. It was circus life. She had to be easy-going and flexible, and not get bent out of shape about living in the same house as him and a bunch of other strangers. It wasn’t like her and Theo would be alone. Everyone shared the kitchen, although they all had private bathrooms, thank God.
Kelsey had done her last Cirque Tsilaosa performance the night before. There were so many people she would miss, people who were special to her because they were the first circus people she’d known.
And there was Jason.
He’d been distant and cordial with her ever since the meeting in Michel Lemaitre’s office. He didn’t even lecture her anymore about her sugar straws, although she’d been sucking them down lik
e crazy due to stress. She knew her coach felt betrayed, left out of her plans. She’d tried to explain that Theo’s move to create an act with her had been as much a surprise to her as to Jason, but he’d cut her off and told her it didn’t matter now. Like she’d done some dire, irreversible thing.
Her relationship with Theo wasn’t much better. The day after their adventure under the trees, Kelsey had gone to the Cirque clinic to go on the pill, imagining all the hours of unparalleled sensual pleasure she would share with him. But Theo hadn’t so much as called her since. He’d forwarded her one email from relocation, specifying the date and time the van would arrive to pick them up, along with their belongings.
Great. A ten-hour trip to spend lusting over him and getting nothing but cool disregard in return.
She heard a knock and hoped for one wild moment it might be Theo. But of course it wasn’t. Her coach...well, former coach...stood on the doorstep of her apartment.
“I’ll let you in,” said Kelsey, “provided you won’t continue to treat me like some rebellious teenager.”
Jason looked apologetic. “Have I been doing that?”
“You’re only eight years older than me, but you’ve been acting like my dad.”
“I’m here today as your friend. I came to say goodbye. You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”
Kelsey nodded, feeling a deep twinge of loss. This wasn’t the time to be arguing with Jason. She was truly going to miss him. She let him in, then flopped on the couch and took a hard look at the man sitting beside her. He was so bright compared to Theo’s darkness. So kind, in contrast to Theo’s perpetual scorn. “I’ll miss you,” she blurted out. “I’m sorry if I pissed you off, making this choice. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know if this is the right thing to do, or--”
Jason put out a hand to halt her speech. “I don’t want to be the person who made you doubt yourself. Look, Kels. I know you can do this. You can do any fucking thing you want because you’re strong and you’re smart. It’s actually good to try your hand at a lot of things when you get into the Cirque.”
“So...” Kelsey said. “It’s only Theo you disapprove of.”
Jason looked down at his lap and thought for a moment. “Okay, listen. I’m just going to come out and say this. There are things that go on inside the Cirque you have no idea about. And you don’t...” He looked up at Kelsey in entreaty. “You don’t have to get involved in them. A lot of people don’t, and go on to have perfectly successful careers.”
Kelsey was confused. “What are you talking about? What kind of ‘things?’”
“Parties, private events.” He swallowed and looked her square in the face. “Wild sex stuff. There are clubs the performers go to in the various towns. They’re all called le Citadel. There’s one here, there’s one in Vegas, there’s one in New York and L.A., there’s one in Moscow and Bucharest. There’s already one in Marseille, open and active.”
“Does Mr. Lemaitre know about all these sex clubs?”
“Kelsey, they’re his clubs. He’s the proponent of all this. He chooses performers who attract him, or performers he senses will be open to it…”
Kelsey thought about the funny feeling she’d gotten at the meeting, when Lemaitre seemed to be sizing her up somehow. Maybe he hadn’t been sizing her up as a performer. Maybe he’d been sizing her up for this. She didn’t know if that flattered or disturbed her. “I always thought there was something freaky about him.”
“Something freaky?” repeated Jason. “I'll put it this way. Michel Lemaitre will stick his dick in anything that moves. You wouldn’t believe what goes on at the parties and club nights.”
“And Theo goes?”
Jason seemed to consider his words for a moment. “Theo comes very close to being Lemaitre’s right hand man. There’s a reason Michel is sending him to Marseille, above and beyond you and the act. Some of Lemaitre’s favorite...pets...are slated to be in the new show.”
Kelsey let all of it sink in. It was upsetting, but beyond that...there was the shock. “He... Theo... What do you mean, right hand man? Does he have sex with Lemaitre’s pets?”
Jason snorted. “Your Theo is another one who will fuck anything that moves, as long as it’s female. However, no one touches Lemaitre’s pets, not sexually. Not unless they’re invited to.”
Kelsey went hot and cold. Theo is another one who will fuck anything that moves. She’d had unprotected sex with him less than a week ago. She could never have revealed that to Jason, but a hot flush of panic rose in her cheeks. God, she could have any disease now. Why had she trusted him? Why had she assumed he wouldn’t lie? It was hard to keep her facial features composed, and her throat felt really tight.
“So...but... These ‘pets’ you’re talking about. They’re people, right? Not...real animals?”
Jason’s somber face finally cracked into a small smile. “Yeah, they’re people. Lemaitre’s a pervert, but he doesn’t swing quite that wide on the perversion scale. Lemaitre’s current favored pets are a pair of handsome acrobats from St. Petersburg. White blond like yourself.” Jason reached out and handled a dangling lock of her hair. “There are others, of course, always. Men and women. All ages, all types. Whoever catches his fancy and is willing to submit to his whims.”
Submit to his whims. She thought of Theo choking her, subduing her, locking her hands in the silks. “So all this...this activity that goes on at these Citadels, it’s dominance and submission stuff?”
Jason’s eyes widened slightly. “You know about D/s?”
Her blush, by now, had probably deepened to epic proportions. “I know a little. Yeah.”
“From Theo? He said he hadn’t taken you to the Citadel.”
“You talked to Theo?”
“A couple days ago,” Jason said. “I didn’t mean to invade your privacy. But I wanted to tell him to protect you from all the Citadel stuff. I thought you were too straight and innocent. But you and him...?”
The moment was excruciating. Kelsey didn’t know how to explain any of it, but another part of her realized Jason already knew.
“I don’t trust him,” she said. She felt ashamed, gullible. “Believe me, I’m going to protect myself.”
“He’s stronger than you,” Jason said bluntly. “You think you can protect yourself, but you can’t. He’s a master of manipulation. From what I gather, you’re already along for the ride.” He took her hand in an impulsive grasp. “You can still say no to all this. I’ll stand by you if you want to extricate yourself from the situation. You can stay here, stay and replace Marisol. Continue with the acrobat act.”
“The thing is...” Kelsey curled her hand uncomfortably in his. The thing is, it’s too late to save me. The thing is, I want to go to the Citadel and see what that’s all about.
The thing is, I want to submit to Theo.
I already have.
Kelsey cleared her throat. “The thing is, I really feel like I want this challenge right now. I mean, it’s not like...”
She was going to say, “It’s not like this will kill me,” and then she thought of Minya, and her heart thumped hard in her chest. But that was only an accident. A trapeze accident that could have happened to anyone.
Kelsey looked at her coach, at his earnest blue eyes, and wondered just how much safety she was leaving behind. He seemed to relent then, accept that he would not be able to change her choice.
“Okay, Kelsey. I just wanted you to understand. Forewarned is forearmed.”
When he stood abruptly to go, she stopped him. “How do you know about all this?”
She saw a cloak of dissemblance fall over his face. He wasn’t going to tell her the truth. “I’m one of the coaches here. It’s my job to know.”
“You go to the Citadel.” She could see it in his expression. “Were you one of Lemaitre’s pets once? Are you now?”
Jason’s face twisted into a tight smile. “Hardly. You’ve got me on the wrong team.”
Kelsey felt a spark of ir
ritation. “So you came to warn me off something--someone--who’s just like you?”
Her irritation was answered by Jason’s own pique. “Oh, no. Never say he’s like me. I would have protected you at the Citadel. He won’t. If you take one thing away from our conversation today, let it be this: Theo Zamora only looks out for one person--himself.”
Kelsey saw her coach in a whole new light. Yes, she saw the same dominance, the same capability she saw in Theo, only in Jason it was tightly leashed. But what if she’d known? What if he’d known? “Would you have wanted to look out for me at the Citadel?” She asked it even though it had her flushing hot again.
Jason turned toward the door, blowing out his breath. “It’s a little late for that now. But no, I try to avoid getting entangled with performers I’m supposed to be helping. Too much potential for disaster.”
With those words, Jason turned back and clasped her close. His hair brushed across her cheek. “I can’t look out for you as well in Marseille. But I’m always here, a phone call away. Be careful, Kelsey.”
With those heartfelt words, Jason Beck walked out her door.
Chapter Six: Marseille
Theo came banging on her door at eight in the morning.
He and the hirsute, silent driver helped her carry her four boxes and three suitcases down the stairs to the trunk of the Cirque-owned passenger van. She couldn’t help noticing Theo had packed much less than her. One big suitcase and some books thrown in a wicker basket. When she looked at him, he shrugged.
“What about all the stuff at your house? Your furniture? Your car?” she asked.
“If I need it I’ll send for it. And the car belongs to the Cirque.” Again, the careless shrug. He winced a little and rubbed his shoulder.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing. All trapeze artists have bad shoulders. Maybe you can massage it while we’re on the road.”
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