‘You know… Alyx… he texted me and asked me out!’ Penelope’s words were tripping over each other.
‘Oh! Great! That’s fantastic… oh no! Have you texted him back yet?’ George sounded serious.
‘No… no, that’s why I’m calling, I’m freaking out about it!’ Penelope gushed.
‘Wise Penny… wise… you did the right thing… now exactly when did the text arrive and what did it say?’ George needed details.
‘That’s the thing… he sent me two texts,’ Penelope stammered.
‘What? Now hold on a minute… two in a row?’ George couldn’t believe this.
‘Yes, but let me explain you see, the first one was… well I didn’t get it, I didn’t know who it was from… and then…’ Penelope inhaled to continue… but George sensed the impending torrent of words, so she interrupted her.
‘Ok, calm down, I can’t keep up… take a deep breath and tell me slowly, really Pen, you’re like a giddy teenager… I haven’t seen you like this in ages, this is so much fun!’ George clapped her hands like a seal, and of course dropped the phone in the process.
‘I know, I don’t really know what’s come over me… anyway he sent me a text, here let me open it up… and it says… “Hi Penelope, A S B here, hope u r well. R u free for dinner, wed. night?”’ Penelope read the text out loud to George.
‘“ASB?”’ Oh dear…’ George was not impressed with the unnecessary use of his initials.
‘I know, I had no idea what that meant… and then about two minutes later I got another one… and it said… hold on…’ Penelope opened up the text and read it out to George. “P.S. we met in Floridita on Thursday, in case you have forgotten… ”’
‘Nice…’ George was suitably impressed, despite the “ASB” bit.
‘I know, I nearly had a heart attack when I realised who it was from…’ Penelope started gushing again.
‘OK, and when did these arrive?’ George sounded matter-of-fact.
‘About ten minutes ago… of course I would never text back straight away, but sometimes if you leave it too long you just don’t know what to say…’ Penelope’s tone was pleading, she was dying to text him back.
‘I know exactly what you mean… well I’m presuming you do want to go out with him…?’ George laughed as she said this.
‘Absolutely…’ Penelope laughed back at her.
‘Right, well then wait until about half eight or nine…’ George advised.
‘But that’s nearly three hours away,’ Penelope gasped.
‘I know, but he’s not going to vanish into thin air if you don’t text him straight back… and that way you’ll catch him just before he goes out tonight.’ George was always a font of knowledge when it came to men.
‘God, you’re brilliant!’ Penelope wanted to hug her.
‘I know, I know… you can thank me at the wedding… anyway… next: what to say…?’
‘Well I think I should say that I think Wednesday is ok,’ Penelope suggested.
‘Erm, well hmmm, ok I’ll let you away with that one, I was going to suggest that you say you are busy, but he travels a lot doesn’t he…? So you don’t want to get into a text debate about when you are both free… the whole thing won’t happen if you start playing text tennis.’ George was being very sensible.
‘Ok, so I say, something like, Hi, yes dinner would be lovely and am free on Wednesday…’ Penelope was dying to text him back.
‘Hmmm, I’m not over the moon about using the word love in any of its forms in the first text!’ George sounded stern.
‘Right, right, very sensible… so should it be more like, Hi, dinner on Wednesday would be nice, let me know where and when…’ Penelope’s rational mind started to enter the conversation, finally…
‘Now that’s more like it… neutral enough and then he should call to make arrangements… ok write it now, and then save it and send it at about half eight.’ George was adamant that this was the right thing to do.
‘Will do, thanks George, what would I do without you?’ Penelope sighed with relief.
‘I know I know, you’ll give me a big head! Listen… what are you up to tonight? I was thinking of going to that new restaurant in the village… do you fancy it? I’m dying to hear about all the potential housemate horror stories… I’d say the whole thing was like a pantomime.’ George chuckled.
‘Oh my god it was, I’m exhausted from it all. We picked one though, a guy, he seems nice enough and he’s gorgeous! Dinner sounds like a great idea.’ Penelope agreed.
‘I’ll give you a ring back once I’ve made the reservation…’ George added.
‘Ok.’
‘Cool.’ George hung up.
‘I’m so happy he texted me, yum! He’s exactly my type…’ Penelope was on cloud nine, she was so happy about the text. She picked up the phone without looking at the number, she assumed it was George ringing back about the restaurant.
‘Hi George… that was quick…’ Penelope didn’t even say hello.
‘Hello Penelope, sorry to disappoint, but it’s not George…’ It definitely was not George, it was a man’s voice on the phone.
‘Who is this?!’ Penelope was a bit taken aback, she perched on the end of the sofa.
‘Penelope, it’s Richard, Richard Lord.’ Richard sounded a little sarcastic.
‘Oh, Richard, hi, so sorry about that, it’s just I was waiting for George, you know…Georgina, to call me back and I really wasn’t expecting your call…’ Penelope stammered, she couldn’t believe that she had been so rude.
‘Well then, I can hang up if you like…’ Richard tried to make light of it all.
‘No! No, I didn’t mean that, it’s just that you caught me off guard… how, erm… how are you?’ Penelope was completely flustered.
‘Fine thanks, great actually, anyway… I won’t keep you, I was just wondering if you fancy meeting up during the week for a drink, for a catch up?’ Richard got straight to the point.
‘Oh yes that would be nice.’ Penelope absolutely couldn’t say no after all that.
‘How is Wednesday for you?’ Richard suggested.
‘Bloody typical… feast or famine…’ ‘Sorry Richard I have plans on Wednesday, the weekend is probably a bit clearer, how about Friday?’ Penelope offered an alternative.
‘I can’t Friday, I’m needed back in Scotland this weekend… could we compromise and say Thursday?’ Richard was adamant that they would meet this week… strike while the iron is hot.
‘Ok, Thursday sounds good…’ Penelope agreed.
‘Great, I’ll call you during the week to make arrangements… I was thinking maybe Floridita…’ Richard suggested this, as he had heard that Penelope liked going there.
‘No!’ Penelope shrieked a little too emphatically. She didn’t want to return to where she had met Alyx, what if she bumped into him with Richard, that was unthinkable.
‘What? You don’t like Floridita? I thought you loved places like that!’ Richard was taken aback, he had asked around about the type of places that she would like to go and he was trying to impress her with his taste in bars.
‘Oh, no, nothing like that… it’s just that we go there all the time… it might be nice to go somewhere else for a change…’ Penelope regained composure.
‘Oh right, I see, well then you pick somewhere that you fancy, and I’ll call you and you can tell me where we’re going?’ Richard put the ball back into her court.
‘Good plan.’ Penelope started to relax now.
‘Enjoy the rest of your weekend… Bye.’ Richard sounded delighted.
‘Bye Richard, and thanks for the call.’ Penelope hung up.
The minute she did so, the phone rang again. She tentatively answered.
‘Hi… George?’ Penelope enquired?
‘Yes… why were you expecting someone else… ASB maybe?!’ George said wittily.
‘No, it’s just that, well you are not going to believe who just called to ask me out on Wedne
sday…’ Penelope sighed.
‘Someone else?… not the famous Ah-Leeks?!’ George couldn’t believe all of this.
‘Richard bloody Lord!’ Penelope exclaimed!
‘Good god, how on earth did he get your number? There’s a blast from the past!’ George couldn’t believe this.
‘I know, well I bumped into him at the work dinner thing on Wednesday, I thought I told you, but then again my brain sort of went to mush when Alyx swept into my life…’ Penelope started to sound all dreamy again.
‘And he wanted to go out on Wednesday too? Bloody hell Pen, it’s obviously your night!’ George sounded astounded.
‘I know, they are like bloody buses aren’t they?’ Penelope agreed.
‘I know what you mean, and you can tell me all about it at dinner… say eight-thirty, drop in here first? And don’t text him before you see me… ok?’ George warned Penelope.
‘Yes, mum!’ Penelope agreed cheekily.
‘No need to be cheeky!’ George chided her.
‘Ok, see you later.’ Penelope’s tone was back to normal now as she hung up.
‘Wow, I can’t believe it, out on Wednesday and Thursday night this week… I usually don’t go out at all during the week, except for work things or calling into George the odd time. What will I wear?… I must go and get something new. And then meeting Richard too… no… concentrate on getting through Wednesday first! One thing at a time!’ Penelope thought to herself as she made her way upstairs to rifle through her wardrobe for some inspiration.
Later on that evening Zara was settling down in front of the TV for the night.
‘Oh… my poor little head. For the first time since I moved down I’m actually glad to be staying in on a Saturday night. I wonder if Penelope is going out, Charlie has gone off to rehearsals or gigs or something like that… oh no I hope Gerry isn’t moving in tonight! I just feel like vegging in front of the TV in my pyjamas… I’m not doing that if he’s around. It’s awful the way you lose the whole weekend if you have a hangover from Friday night… I’m never drinking again… well at least for the rest of this week anyway. I wonder what it’ll be like having another guy in the house? I’ll probably have to dress up even to veg out, oh no! No more face packs in the near future.’ Zara considered the situation in the house when Gerry moved in as she tucked into a Chinese takeaway.
Over in Battersea, Penelope arrived at George’s flat, right on time.
‘Well?’ George opened the door to Penelope.
‘I waited just like you said.’ Penelope gushed and waltzed into the flat, walking on air.
‘Good girl, you… may… text him now…’ George announced dramatically.
‘Ok… there it’s gone.’ The text flew out of Penelope’s phone and winged its way to Alyx.
‘Hungry?’ George was starving.
‘Not at all, with all the excitement I can’t eat a thing.’ Penelope couldn’t bear the thought of food, but she knew she had to eat something!
‘Well, I’m starving! Let’s get going. So tell me all about Richard, what happened there? Does he still look the same… Is he married? I would have expected his parents to have married him off to some princess from a small country by now! George had also known Richard through Penelope at University.
‘He still looks pretty much the same, suited and booted though, and I didn’t ask him if he was married… that would be a major no-no!’ Penelope sighed.
‘Quite right, quite right… but did you see a ring?’ George was great at scanning men, and sussing them out.
‘For heaven’s sake George, I wasn’t looking, I don’t care if he’s married! You sound like my mother, that’s the first thing she would check.’ Penelope sounded exasperated.
‘Is he living in London now? What happened to the castle?’ George was dying to learn more.
‘The castle is still standing, but he said something like he didn’t want to be middle-aged before he was middle-aged, plenty of time to live in a draughty old castle in Scotland.’ Penelope didn’t want to talk about Richard at all.
‘That’s very sensible of him, he was always a planner wasn’t he? Seemed to have his whole life mapped out years in advance,’ George mused.
‘Yeah, I had forgotten he was like that… I always thought that that was more his parents’ plan than his,’ Penelope sighed.
‘His mother was a real battle-axe wasn’t she, remember she’d come to collect him in the Rolls Royce, with the tartan blankets in the back, with the family crest I think?’ George roared with laughter.
‘Oh god yeah, I had totally forgotten about her… she was stern, pretty scary actually, she always had her hair in a bun, with these hair pins sticking out of it! Like a headmistress, and the family tartan was like a uniform. Guess where he wanted to go and when?’ Penelope asked George, who was on the edge of her seat at this point.
‘Where?’ George demanded.
‘Floridita on Wednesday!’ Penelope screeched.
‘Brilliant! What did you say?’ George couldn’t believe this!
‘I freaked out and said no really quickly. And then I had to say that I go there all the time, and that’s why I think we should go somewhere else for a change.’ Penelope looked wide-eyed as she said this to George, still not quite believing that she had gotten away with it.
‘He probably just thinks you’re barking!’ George offered.
‘I know, and I had to tell him I’m busy on Wednesday and put him off until Thursday,’ Penelope added.
‘I see what you mean, they are like bloody buses aren’t they?’ George sighed.
‘I know, nobody nice for ages, and then one and a half in one week…’ Penelope sighed.
‘One and a half?’ George didn’t understand.
‘Well I’m just meeting Richard to catch up… so it’s not strictly a date, even though it’s just the two of us.’ Penelope was reassuring herself as much as anyone else.
‘Do you think he still fancies you?’ George was keen to find out.
‘What? He never did… did he?’ Penelope was in denial about this.
‘Totally! I think he wanted to make you his Scottish Princess.’ George giggled.
‘No way! Seriously?’ Penelope shot George a stern look.
‘Totally, how did you not notice?’ George had visions of Penelope in a tartan wedding dress.
‘I was always going out with someone when I was in University, so I didn’t really pay attention to things like that.’ Penelope was starting to get a little concerned, she hated it when things got uncomfortable with guy friends, she definitely didn’t fancy Richard as far as she knew.
‘Well, we all reckoned he fancied you like mad…’ George added matter-of-factly.
‘Really, I had no idea.’ Penelope wasn’t sure whether she was joking or not.
‘Just watch yourself on Thursday then!’ George warned her.
‘I’m sure he probably is married by now anyway,’ Penelope reassured herself.
‘We’ll see.’ George said in a sing song voice. ‘Only time will tell…’
Back on Abbeville Road, Zara was feeling a little bored and a little lonely, so she decided to phone Katie.
‘Zara!’ Katie squealed as she answered the phone.
‘Hi Katie, how are you?’ Zara’s tone was a little tense.
‘You sound awful, are you alright?’ Katie sounded concerned.
‘No… hangover… feel like I’m going to die…’ Zara admitted, now knowing it was too late to take the words back and more questions were likely to follow…
‘Oooh, were you at some celebrity bash on Friday? I bet it’s so glamorous down there! Or some trendy bar, did you see anyone famous?’ Katie interrogated Zara.
‘No, no just drinks with friends from work, it was my first pay day, so I had to go and celebrate… a new pair of shoes would have been the more sensible option, but never mind. What are you up to?’ Zara tried to get off the subject, it was too hard to describe her new life to Katie.
&n
bsp; ‘Oh my god, it all sounds soooooo glamorous, I would love to be able to go shopping any time I wanted to. I’m not doing anything tonight, babysitting, I need money for the twenty-first next week, are you still coming home for it?’
‘Of course, I would have come home this weekend but we had to interview housemates.’ Again, the words came out before Zara had a chance to stop them.
‘Interview them?’ Katie sounded shocked.
‘Yep, basically we needed a new housemate, and you put this ad in this paper and half of London ring up and make appointments, then they all get fifteen minutes, have a quick look around the house and we have to try to suss them out.’ Zara was not in the mood to go through the process again.
‘Wow! Any weirdos?’ Katie was generally shocked and excited by everything that she heard about London.
‘No total freaks, but a few nerds, difficult to say in a fifteen-minute time slot. Definitely a few potential weirdos though.’ Zara admitted.
‘And all of this going on today and you with a hangover?’ Katie couldn’t believe this.
‘Yep, but Penelope…’ Zara began.
‘The Princess?’ Katie enquired.
‘God I feel so bad about my first impressions of her, why did I tell everyone!’ Zara felt so guilty.
‘Yes, well, she’s not as bad as I thought at first, just because she’s a bit posh, doesn’t mean she is not nice. Anyway, Penelope has done this kind of thing a few times before apparently, and had all these sheets printed out with questions.’ Zara filled Katie in.
‘How organised!’ Katie shrieked.
‘I know, so then after they had left we had notes to remember them by…’
‘Like what they were wearing and stuff like that?’ Katie completely saw the logic of this.
‘Sometimes, yeah, or descriptions like tall blonde girl, blue jumper… It really helped when we were going through them later that night, there were so many of them, I was exhausted afterwards,’ Zara sighed.
‘So did you pick one then?’ Katie demanded to know.
‘Yeah, we picked this guy… because he is gorgeous!’ Zara beamed down the phone.
‘I don’t believe you, you are worse than blokes! And did the guy you live with agree?’ Katie couldn’t believe this.
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