Always and Forever

by Harper Bentley

  I look down at his hands on my thighs. This is really hard to hear, as in really hard to hear. But I need to know everything, so my eyes move back to his and I ask, “Why didn’t they call an ambulance?”

  “I’d just passed the firefighter’s test. If they’d found out, I would’ve been fired and that would’ve killed me. You know how hard I worked for it, how badly I wanted it. No, Kade did the right thing.”

  My eyes again go to his hands. “And the baby?”

  I hear him blow out a breath. “That’s a load of shit too, I’m beginning to think.”

  I look at him and frown. “How so?”

  He runs a hand through his hair then puts it back on my leg. His fingers smooth over it as he watches them. “Kade threatened Peyton that if she said anything, he’d ruin her, and you know she’s a conniving bitch and didn’t like that. I mean, she’d been after him for years but he wasn’t interested in her so I guess in some sick, twisted way to get back at him, she went after me. When I blew her off too, she found a way to screw us both.”

  “She screwed both of you? How?”

  “Got Kade with his house.” He looks up at me now. “After he bought the lumberyard, he decided he wanted the Lombardi house, the one he and Amelia live in now. You know she always wanted it, so he bought it hoping she’d come back. Anyway, he found out Jerry Capps, Peyton’s dad, held the mortgage on it, so they worked out a lease-to-buy deal on it until he got the lumberyard loan paid down and could finance it. Of course, Jerry thinks Peyton’s a fucking angel, so she talked him into signing the mortgage over to her and Kade came unglued when she told him, but what could he do? Thank God Mill came back in the picture because last month, she talked Kade into letting her pay off the loan to get him out from under Peyton’s thumb.”

  Wow. Peyton is a serious piece of work. “And you?” I whisper.

  I see his jaw muscles bunching as he grits his teeth then he stands and buttons his jeans then finds his shirt, putting it on. He goes to his fridge and pulls out a beer, holding it out toward me, eyebrows raised. I nod because uh, hell yeah, I’ll take it since I know this is going to get bad. He pops the tops off both beers and tells me to come sit on the couch. I get up and walk over taking the beer from him and sit but he stays standing and paces a bit as he begins explaining. “A month after everything went down, I’m on duty at the firehouse and Kade comes by that morning when Jeremy and I are working out. I’d never seen him so pissed.” He stops pacing and looks down at me. “He hauls my ass outside to sit in his truck and tells me Peyton just came by the lumberyard and tells him Hannah’s pregnant and it’s mine.”

  I suck in a breath at hearing him say it straight out like that. God.

  He starts pacing again. “I didn’t know what to do. Hannah lives in Atlanta, so I just couldn’t run down there and ask her about it. Kade wants a paternity test done, so nine months later, Peyton arranges for us to meet and they show up with the baby who she’s named Brody.” My eyes jerk up to his. “Yeah. They have some kit they ordered online, swab my mouth, tell me they’ll send it in then they leave. A month later, Peyton comes to the lumberyard and hands me a sealed envelope and leaves. Kade comes over, I open it, I’m the father.”

  I set my bottle on the coffee table and stand. I’m on information overload and don’t think I can hear anymore, so I turn and start heading toward the door. I don’t know where I’m headed, but I just need to get away. Before I get my hand on the doorknob, Brody wraps his arms around me from behind, hauling my back against his front keeping me there.

  “I—I don’t want to hear anymore,” I protest, my hands curling up to his forearms trying to pry them off me.

  “Baby,” he whispers, his lips at the top of my head. “I know it’s hard to hear. I’m sorry. But I want you to know everything.”

  His arms tighten around me and he leans down and kisses the side of my head.

  “I don’t know if I can,” I whisper as tears sting the backs of my eyes.

  “You can,” he says at my ear. “You’re strong. I know you are. I want you to know everything so we can move forward.”

  Now I think of something I need to ask him. Have to ask him. He feels me stiffen and loosens his arms on me and I turn to face him putting my hands on his biceps, but I can’t bring myself to look him in the eyes because if he answers yes, it’ll kill me. I stare at his chest and ask quietly, “Are you—you’re in love with Hannah?”

  I feel his body jerk at my question and he bites out, “Fuck no.”

  My eyes move up to his. “But if it’s your ba—baby,” my voice hitches, “you still don’t want to be with her?”

  He bends down cupping my face with his big hands. “No. I don’t even know her. But even if I did, I love you, Piper. I want to be with you.”

  “I—I need to sit,” I tell him and he guides me back to the couch where I sit then pick up my beer and down the rest of it.

  He gets us two more then continues, still pacing, his voice now angry. “Kade’s pissed because he says the test was fake, but I think I was in shock at the time and just went with it. Next thing I know, Peyton tells us that Hannah’s boyfriend, who’s a fucking gang member, you know, in fucking Atlanta, has somehow found out the kid’s not his so he beats the shit out of her and tells her if she runs, he’ll find her and kill her. Peyton’s the only one who knows where she is and she’s not talking.”

  “You can’t find her?”

  He shakes his head. “Mike has a friend who’s a P.I. who was looking for her but we couldn’t afford to keep paying him. But Amelia told me the other day she’s had someone looking for the past month and he thinks he may have a lead.”

  I’m stunned by everything he’s told me and sit there piecing everything together. “So the first part happened when I was at Greer’s?”

  I look up at him and he nods, shame and sorrow evident on his face.

  “And that’s why you acted weird when I got back.”

  He nods again.

  “Then when Peyton told you Hannah was pregnant, that’s when you broke up with me…”

  Another nod.

  I get up and walk to the window and stare out at the thick clumps of snow still falling, crossing my arms over my chest as I think through everything. And then I get mad whirling around to face him. “You didn’t trust me.”

  I see his brow furrow and he starts to say something but I cut him off.

  “No! You didn’t trust me, Brody! We’d been together since we were sixteen. Sixteen! But you just walked away without considering my feelings at all!”

  “I—”

  “How fucking selfish can you be? You know I’ve spent the past year banging my head against the wall trying to figure out what I did wrong! Was I not good enough for you? Did you fall out of love with me? Did you fall for another woman?”

  “I know. I’m so sor—”

  “Oh, no, you don’t get to be fucking sorry, Brody Kelly. Nuh uh. Do you know how many nights I’ve cried for you? For us? Do you know how much I’ve tortured myself trying to find answers?” I stomp past him to the door and he follows me. When I feel him reaching to stop me, I spin around and jab my finger in his chest. “Swear to God, you try to keep me here right now I’ll smash my beer bottle against that thick skull of yours.”

  His eyes get big and if I didn’t know any better, I think I see amusement in them but I’m done for now and rip the door open. Once I’m out, I turn to him again and spit angrily, “This is all on you, Brody. You can’t have a relationship without trust and you just fucked everything away. I hope you’re happy!” Then I get the hell out of there before I go back in and grab a bottle and follow through on my threat.

  ~~~

  I leave Brody’s room, immediately flying down the stairs, stomping across the lobby and heading out the front doors into the frickin’ blizzard to cool off. When I’m almost frozen to the bone after thirty seconds, I come back inside
and decide to take a walk around the lodge to clear my head. On my journey, I find that there’s a small bowling alley right next to the theater room which is surprising. I walk through the fitness area where no one’s working out and there’s no punching bag to take my frustrations out on, so I go to the swimming pool and sit at the edge putting my bare feet in. I’m so angry, furious even, that Brody’s withheld everything from me. I mean, sure, I’d have been upset if he’d told me everything at the time, may even had us take a timeout from each other for a bit, but I wouldn’t have stayed away for long. On top of being lovers we were also best friends, or so I thought.

  After leaving the pool area, I walk by the spa and hear a man call a hello out to me from inside so I stop and look in seeing him smiling at me.

  “Hi,” I answer with my own smile.

  “My name’s Geoff, with a ‘G,’ and an ‘O.’ Do you require any services?” he asks with a French-Canadian accent. He appears to be around my age and is very good looking, his blond hair cut in a fade style and his striking green eyes mesmerizing.

  “Hi, Geoff. I’m Piper. Well… what’re you offering?”

  He wiggles his eyebrows at me and replies, “Everything,” which makes me giggle because he’s clearly gay and isn’t being creepy.

  “What would you recommend?” I inquire. I see his interesting eyes light up and, oh, let the spa treatment begin.

  He gives me a shampoo and style first.

  “Your hair is lovely,” he tells me as he uses a flatiron to straighten it.

  “Thank you. My best friend owns a hair salon and she hooks me up,” I explain with a chuckle.

  “She does an excellent job!”

  When he finishes, I decide to have a facial.

  “So, what brings you to the Lodge?” he questions as he coats my face with an exfoliating mask.

  I sigh. “Boyfriend problems.”

  “Gotta love those.”

  “Yeah. I’m waiting for some emotions to bombard me but I don’t think they are because anger’s hogging my brain.”

  “Same thing happened to me. I was supposed to be off this whole weekend but Ian, my boyfriend, decided to be a jerk, so to avoid a fight, I picked up a shift on Friday and now I’m stuck here because of the snow. The good thing is, he called late Friday night and apologized and we made up. He also called yesterday morning, last night and this morning to tell me he loves me. Always good to get away sometimes to remind you how much you love someone, right?”

  “Mm hm,” I mumble because my face is stiff with the goop on it and he’s pretty much nailed it on the head, absence making the heart grow fonder and all.

  “So let me guess. Your boyfriend asked you to marry him and you weren’t ready?”

  I snort because that’s way off.

  “Um, he bought you a present and it was two sizes bigger than you are?”

  I chuckle because I wish it’d been something that easy.

  “No?” Geoff returns. “Okay, he cheated on you?”

  My brow comes down, well as far as the mask will let it.

  “Oh, don’t move your face, hon. Can’t have it peeling before we’re ready. So he cheated on you?”

  I shrug because according to Brody he didn’t and I think I believe him.

  “You don’t know if he cheated on you… this is fun. Spa treatment charades!”

  I chuckle again. Geoff’s quite the character.

  “All right. You don’t know if he cheated you just suspect it. So you left because you couldn’t deal with it. Am I warm?”

  I nod.

  “So then he calls but you won’t answer. His heart is breaking because he feels horrible that you think he’d do this to you. But all he had to do was explain in the first place and you’d have understood.”

  I nod again at the last part.

  “Then he calls the police and tells them you’re missing since you won’t pick up! There’s a nationwide search for you now. Your picture is on every milk carton in the country and the drug cartel that’s kidnapped you has fled to Colombia and is hiding in their bunker that’s hidden deep under the forest! And that’s when Liam Neeson enters the picture, calls the drug lord and tells him that he will find him and he will kill him. Am I close?”

  I snort again and roll my eyes at him.

  He laughs. “Ian always gets on to me about my active imagination. I was an only child growing up on a chicken farm in a small Canadian town. I had to find ways to entertain myself. I even put on plays using the chickens as the actors.” He smiles down at me. “Let’s get this off now.” After peeling the mask he smooths on a firming lotion. “There. You’re literally glowing!” He holds a hand out and helps me sit up handing me a mirror to see he’s correct. “Thank you, Piper, for coming in. I was bored to tears just sitting here. I’ve read every People we have in here twice. As much as I love the Kardashians, there’s only so much you wanna know about them. Am I right?”

  I laugh. “But who else do you wanna live vicariously through? They can make the most mundane event exciting.”

  “Now. How about a mud wrap?”

  I give in because he’s a nice guy and I know he’s bored to tears. I also know I don’t want to go back to my room yet. After showering and dressing, Geoff and I have a nice dinner in the spa area.

  “It’s been so nice having you here, Piper. I would’ve gone stir crazy if you hadn’t come in,” he tells me when we finish eating.

  “Thank you, Geoff. I’ve loved every minute of this.”

  “I hope you and your beau get things sorted soon. Sounds to me as if you’re well on your way.”

  He gives me a two-cheek kiss and I leave to head up to my room. It’s after ten and I’m exhausted even with the relaxing treatments I’ve received. My brain’s been going the whole time and I’m ready for it to shut down. When I top the stairs I see that there’s a wilted arrangement of flowers in a vase in front of my door. Um, nice? I tiptoe to my room because I don’t want Brody coming out. Picking up the flowers, I slide my card into the lock and go in, closing the door soundlessly.

  Once inside, I set the vase on the table next to the chair in front of the fireplace that’s become my favorite and after stoking the fire, I curl up in the chair and grab the little card from the flowers.

  “I could write a poem

  but you know I don’t know ‘em

  I know these flowers sag

  because the deliveries have lagged

  since the roads are blocked from town

  as the snow keeps coming down”

  I turn the card over to see it continues.

  “You’ve put up with a lot

  and you probably should not

  forgive me…

  but will you?

  Always and Forever

  —Brody”

  I sigh and reach over, touching one of the petals on a lily which flutters to the table. Yep. Pretty saggy. Then I pull the afghan from the back of the chair and cover myself and fall asleep.

  Chapter 12

  I wake up in my bed remembering that at some point I got up last night, changed into my pjs, brushed my teeth then slid between the thousand thread count Egyptian cotton sheets that feel so good. I was having the best sex dream ever about Brody and now I stretch, noticing I’m gloriously sore from our encounter yesterday and let out a little squeal as I do so because squeals always makes a stretch much more fulfilling, you know.

  Just as I start to slide out of bed, there’s a knock on my door. And that’s when my stomach tightens and my brain starts churning because everything comes crashing in again: Brody, Hannah, Peyton, a baby, no trust, unnecessary pain.

  Wouldn’t it be nice if our days were filled with the first few moments of waking that we experience when everything’s uncomplicated and sweet and innocent? But I guess they’ve already discovered how to make that happen. It’s called Xanax.

 
I go to the door and look through the peephole to see Brody standing in the hallway and think maybe I should change since I’m in a tank top and boy shorts, but he’s seen me in far less, so I go ahead and open the door.

  “Hey,” I greet him.

  I see his eyes go dark as they take in what I’m wearing. He stares at my chest for a moment then moves his eyes down to stare at my shorts. He looks back up at me and I see his nostrils flare a little and his jaw muscles jumping.

  “Fuck, Piper,” he mumbles then pushes his way in. “Get out of the doorway before someone sees you.”

  I roll my eyes and head to the bathroom remarking, “Yeah, like the two other people who’re still here?”

  I use the facilities then brush my teeth and run a comb through my hair which is still straight from Geoff’s styling and still looking pretty good. When I come out, Brody’s fired up the coffeemaker.

  “Thanks,” I say, nodding toward the coffeemaker then I walk to the dresser to get clothes.

  “I like your hair,” Brody shares.

  I turn around then jerk my head back because he’s right there. “Oh! Well, thanks.”

  “Like what you’ve got on too,” he continues sharing, looking me up and down.

  “Yeah?” I ask, putting my hands flat against his chest and gazing up into his lust-filled eyes.

  “Oh, yeah.” He moves fast, locking his arms around my waist to pull me to him then his lips are on mine.

  And you know what? Things between us might be a serious clusterfuck right now but I’m horny from my dream, damn it, and I refuse to feel guilty or experience any of the emotions I thought would come but haven’t yet. I’m a grown woman and if I want to fuck my maybe-not-long-to-be-my-ex-boyfriend then I will.

  I pull at his sweater untucking his t-shirt that’s underneath it at the same time, jerking them both up and he assists by putting a hand behind his neck and tugging them over his head and off. My hands are at his fly now unbuttoning as fast as my fingers can go. Screw foreplay. I’m already primed and want him now.

  I’m a woman on a mission as I yank his jeans down and watch as his big beautiful cock springs out and take it in my hand to stroke it. A masculine sound erupts from his throat which spurs me on and I push him toward the chair at the desk by my dresser making him sit in it. I lose my boy shorts then climb on to straddle his lap, my knees on the chair then putting my hands on either side of his face, I smash my mouth to his, executing a deep, wet, bruising kiss on his full lips.