Marianne K. Martin - Love in the Balance

by Marianne K. Martin

  The silence convinced Connie she was expected to ask the inevitable. “Did you sleep with her?”

  Another deep breath from Kasey. “No, but I may as well have. We were in the hallway outside her room, basically making love standing up. When she wanted to go into her room, I stopped.”

  Connie stroked the backs of her long fingers over Kasey’s cheek. “What made you stop?”

  “You.” Kasey finally looked into her eyes. “I knew what I was feeling was only sexual. It made me admit to myself that I was in love with you. I couldn’t get you out of my mind, out of my heart.”

  “And you still made me chase you to the middle of the lake,” smiled Connie, holding Kasey’s face in her hand.

  “I guess I needed to know how serious it was for you.” Connie pulled Kasey’s arms around her. “Let me remind you.”

  “Kasey, there you are,” Sharon said, catching them at the bottom of the stairs. “Everybody’s been asking for you to sing.”

  “Sharon, it’s too late. I’m too tired.”

  “C’mon, Kase, just a couple of songs. We don’t get to hear you very often.”

  Kasey frowned and shook her head, but Connie smiled and kissed her on the cheek. “Two songs.”

  “Okay, c’mon,” Sharon smiled.

  She held Connie’s hand until she had to let go. “Don’t go anywhere.”

  “Not in your lifetime.”

  On her own again, Connie looked for Tom or Evonne and Donna. But before she found them, someone grabbed her arm. She turned to find herself face to face with Sharon. “Come here, I want to talk to you,” she said sternly, pulling her around the corner into the laundry room.

  Fighting the feeling of a child about to be scolded, Connie immediately bolstered her defenses. Toe to toe, the two women stared coldly at each other. Connie again refused to break eye contact. “You don’t scare me, Sharon.”

  “Yeah? Well you’re gonna pee your lacy pants when you realize that I’m not the biggest monster you’re gonna face.” Sharon pointed a threatening finger in her face. “Meanwhile, I’m going to tell you something, and I’m only going to say it once. I love that woman, and when you hurt her you’re gonna pay hell, dealing with me. You understand?”

  She could almost feel the anger quivering through Sharon’s body. Yet Connie’s voice remained firm, her posture solid. “Now you listen. I know you love her. That’s the only reason I tolerate your attitude. You’ve made it very clear that you don’t like me, and I’ve been very patient with you. But let me tell you something. I love Kasey more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life, not that I should have to justify that to you. And I’m not about to let anything compromise her happiness, not even you.” She pressed her face so close to Sharon’s she could feel the heat of her breath. “So maybe you’d better reassess the situation. I’m not going anywhere, and if her friendship is as important as you say it is, then you’d better figure out how to get along with me. Think about that.” Pointing her own finger defiantly close to Sharon’s chest, Connie abruptly left the room.

  Shaky from the adrenaline and in no mood to socialize, Connie looked for a spot alone. As inconspicuously as possible, she slid into a space by the end of the platform. While she watched Kasey and Jan go over their number, the confrontation replayed itself. In a strange way, the whole thing was a relief. She had expected something to happen sooner or later. And now that it had, maybe things would improve. She truly hoped so, for everyone’s sake.

  Still deep into her own thoughts, Connie turned to find that Sage had slipped in unnoticed beside her. Oh, perfect! What had she done lately to warrant being tested like this? Please, just don’t talk to me. She was relieved to see Kasey take the microphone.

  Luck was running true to form for the evening, and as Kasey picked up the beat with her body, Sage said, “Have you ever seen her in action?”

  “I’ve seen her perform, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “For a group of lesbians?”

  “No.”

  Sage waited for eye contact. “She really turns ’em on.”

  “So I’ve heard.”

  Intriguing brown eyes searched her blue for something. She searched back. But they wondered in silence until their attention was diverted.

  “This is for you, Sharon. Thanks for a wonderful party,” Kasey announced. Easily she swung into rhythm, her commanding voice building its excitement. Body movements and expressions added the performer’s personal touch to give Sharon a most unique thank you. Connie watched the strong seductiveness as Kasey interpreted the words to Sharon’s favorite song. She watched her clench her fist against her chest as the words to “No One Else on Earth” asked their questions. The confidence and strength that exuded from a clearly feminine sexuality was fascinating. The contradiction of strength and femininity was inherently sensual. No wonder she turned ’em on, as Sage put it. The combination was so ideal, yet so uncommon. Too many women, Connie decided, were afraid of exploring themselves, of developing their wholeness. It was easy to see why they enjoyed watching someone as complete as Kasey Hollander.

  For a moment, Connie pulled her eyes away long enough to scan the group of women close to the platform. The faces shining with adoration teased her into a proud smile. This was her lover they were admiring, her Kasey they’d love to get next to. The feeling of pride continued happily along until her gaze returned to Sage Bristo. There her gaze was plainly challenged. The dark brown eyes were boldly enveloping every inch of Kasey’s body, enjoying the movement of her hips and the glistening of perspiration on her chest as it rose and fell. There was no hint of shame to her enjoyment, even with Connie watching. Even with Kasey’s choice being clear, the knowledge of how close this woman had gotten to her was terribly intimidating. What is Sage wondering? What got her so close? Does she think she can do it again?

  “You’ll have to excuse us for a minute here. Jan and I have never done this one together,” Kasey explained. They huddled over the keyboard, Kasey humming, Jan testing chords. Then Kasey returned to the microphone. “She’s excellent; she’s got it.” She turned and smiled at Jan, then looked directly at Connie and said quietly, “This is for you.”

  Connie’s pulse quickened immediately. A flood of heat traveled the length of her body. In that one moment, nothing else mattered, only the look bathed in blueness sending its shock of electricity through her. Right then, there was no Sharon, no Sage. There was no one except Kasey and Connie.

  “I bless the day I found you ...” The words carried on the pure strong voice went soul deep.

  Connie’s heart was no longer her own. She was unaware of the other women watching as the words to the second verse entered her. She looked only at Kasey, thought of nothing but Kasey.

  Then unexpectedly, Kasey held her hand out to Connie, just as she had that night at the club. An invitation she would never refuse. She stepped up onto the platform and took her hand as Kasey began the last verse. Connie no longer existed without Kasey. “Tell me you’ll love me only, and that you’ll always let it be me.” She pulled Connie closer and held the microphone between them. Connie knew exactly what she wanted. Jan repeated the last two phrases and together, light soft tones complementing rich and full, they finished their song. The room erupted in applause.

  Kasey’s smile melted into a tender kiss before she once again raised the microphone. When the room quieted, she explained almost shyly, “I definitely have to go home. Thank you all for coming and making this a very special birthday. Good night.”

  As quietly as possible, they said their good-byes and headed toward the stairs. Their exit was polite and cordial, and finally, gratefully, they entered the solace of Connie’s car. It had been a long day, one filled with emotion and virtually no privacy. Connie quickly started for home. “That was beautiful Kasey,” she said, reaching for her hand.

  Kasey pushed up the armrest and moved beside her. “That song seemed to say everything I’ve been feeling. I’m glad Jan could play it.”
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  “You sang those words right into me.” Right into her soul, where the empty place used to be. The place filled now with Kasey’s love. Tears formed in her eyes. “It will always be you, Kasey.”

  “You’re more than I’ve ever dreamed of.” Gently Kasey kissed the tear from the corner of her eye and whispered against her cheek. Her hand slowly caressed the thin silk covering Connie’s breasts. “All evening, I wanted to show you how much I love you.”

  Soft warm touches from Kasey’s lips began covering the delicate skin of Connie’s cleavage. “Kasey, you’re making it impossible to drive.” Yet, with one hand cupping Kasey’s head, she encouraged the gentle nuzzling between her breasts. The warmth from Kasey’s hand moved slowly up under the soft dress. “Kasey, if this is a test to see how long I can take this, I’m failing it.”The kisses to her breasts and neck were now relentlessly wanting. Fingers stroked the silky warmth between her legs. “Oh God, honey ...” Connie’s whisper was breathless. “Either you have to stop, or I do.”

  Kasey’s breath was hot against her flushed skin. “I’m going to make love to you right here.”

  Quickly Connie pulled the car to the side of the still relatively rural road. As Kasey unfastened the seat belt, Connie laid the seat back. “I never thought I’d want anyone this much,” she said, pressing her mouth to Kasey’s.

  There was an urgency now to their desire; no crescendo of time was needed. Hours of emotional foreplay had already created a hunger demanding satisfaction. Connie moved with intent beneath her. Their kisses, void of tenderness, desperately worked toward their goal. Insistent moans met gasps of desire as their bodies struggled for contact. Suddenly Connie grabbed Kasey’s hand, commanding it aggressively under her waistband where persistent fingers caressed molten desire. Breathlessly she commanded, “Now, baby, now.”

  Kasey’s voice was lusty and low. “I love you.” Easily she slipped into the depth of sweet desire. “Oh, God, I love you.” Finding the place she knew perfectly, she circled it, massaged it, until gasps of excitement burst from her lover.

  “Yes, Kasey ... oh, yes, baby!” Connie’s words were pure pleasure. “So good, you’re sooo good. Oh, yes ... keep doing it,” she breathed heavily against Kasey’s ear.

  Her expressions of desire brought exquisite joy. Kasey moaned with the thrill of impending orgasm. Connie shuddered against her and called out in ecstasy, “Ohhh yes, yes, yes.” Tension broke its final bounds. Connie’s hips rose up to take Kasey in. Deeper. Tighter. Opening fully, completely. Her cries filled the car. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” Kasey covered her face and neck with tender touches from her lips as Connie’s body moved against her, keeping her inside, capturing every last bit of pleasure.

  She whispered the words lovingly, “Ohh, beautiful woman, you’re everything to me.” Kasey pressed her lips against the warm face and tasted the saltiness of tears. She strained in the darkness for an expression. Her voice was filled with concern. “What, Connie? What is it?”

  Loving arms closed, holding Kasey tightly to her. “Don’t ever stop loving me.”

  “I won’t, honey,” she promised, kissing away the tears. “I won’t.”

  Kasey adjusted her position against the armrest, and Connie moved to give her more room. “I’m sorry,” she said, wiping the moisture from her face. “That must have been very uncomfortable.”

  Kasey shook her head and smiled. “You just gave me the most wonderful birthday present anyone’s ever given me.”

  With a hint of rare embarrassment. Connie smiled and fingered the gold chain around Kasey’s neck. “If I’d only known that two weeks ago.” They laughed softly together, faces pressing close in the darkness. Then Connie’s mood turned pensive. “How did I get so lucky, to have such an unselfish lover?”

  “You get us home and I’ll show you how selfish I can be.”

  Twenty-seven

  “You made it,” exclaimed Donna, as Kasey and Connie appeared around the side of the house. Each received a warm hug from Donna, then Evonne, while Sharon kept a polite distance.

  Donna stepped back to check Connie’s apparel. “You look good in jeans and boots.”

  “We had to borrow the boots. That’s why we’re a little late,” Kasey explained.

  “That’s okay; they’re a must. We don’t want you getting stepped on. Horses sometimes aren’t the daintiest of animals,” laughed Evonne. “Sage is out back, saddling our two ladies. We were just picking Sharon’s brain about a fence we want to put up. It looks as though we’re going to need your expertise, Kase. We ran into a problem.”

  “Hey.” Sage’s voice came from the direction of the corral. “Who’s riding with me?”

  “Sharon, aren’t you riding?” Kasey asked.

  “No, I’ve got bad cramps today. I don’t feel like it.” Kasey looked at Connie. “Would you want to ride with her? I could help them with the fence problem, then you and I could ride later.”

  The idea was less than thrilling, of course, but held its own sort of irony. She was obviously not the person with whom Sage had hoped to ride, and if she could get past her worry of looking stupid in front of her it might prove to be an interesting ride. “Sure,” she decided. Why not?

  “Connie’s gonna ride,” Donna called back. “We’ll be right there.”

  “You’ll be fine,” Kasey said reassuringly. “You probably ride better than I do.”

  Connie worried that the apprehension Kasey sensed was apparent to everyone. “I don’t know. It’s been quite a while.”

  Evonne started in the direction of the corral. “Don’t worry. Sage likes to ride Blaze, and wherever Blaze goes, Sassy follows. They’re inseparable.”

  “A lot like their owners,” Donna inserted with a smile. “You won’t have to worry about controlling her. Just ride and enjoy yourself,” Evonne finished.

  “Okay. I’ll be all right.”

  Entering the corral, Connie looked admiringly at the two magnificent chestnut horses. “They were raised together. The original owner tried to sell them separately at first,” Donna was explaining, “but they wouldn’t eat. He had no choice but to find someone to take them both. We were perfect.”

  “They’re beautiful animals,” remarked Connie.

  Sage handed the reins to her. “Here you go.”

  “Connie, this is Sassy.” Evonne lovingly stroked the velvet nose to tender their introduction.

  Connie ran her hands down the powerful neck. “Hi, Sassy. I hope you’re a gentle girl ’cause I’m a bit rusty.” Sassy lowered her huge head and gently nudged Connie’s chest.

  “I think she likes you already,” Donna laughed.

  Sage was already in the saddle, so after a few more get-acquainted strokes, Connie decided it was time. With the reins and horn in hand, she planted her left foot in the stirrup and began her mount. In the fraction of a second, with a breathtaking thud, she found herself on her back in the dirt, looking up at the saddle hanging awkwardly on the side of Sassy’s barrel chest. Sharon burst out laughing. Connie looked up in time to see the remains of a smile on Sage’s face before Kasey helped her to her feet.

  “Are you all right?” Kasey asked, while Evonne dusted off her white shirt.

  “What happened?” It wasn’t clear if what she was feeling was embarrassment or indignation.

  “The cinch was too loose.” Evonne’s reprimand was polite. “Sage you forgot how tricky Sassy is.”

  Donna righted the saddle and explained as she tightened the cinch. “Sassy always takes a deep breath and holds it when you try to tighten the cinch. You have to slap her on the belly and tighten as she exhales.”

  Sage’s tone held an undefinable edge. “I forgot,” she said, sitting tall and aloof atop Blaze.

  Connie’s tone remained forgiving. “That’s okay. I should have double-checked it.”

  “You ready to try this again?” Donna asked with a smile.

  “One more time.” Connie brushed the seat of her pants and mounted, this time
with no difficulty. She gave Sassy a number of thank-you strokes for holding so still.

  “You ready?” Sage asked.

  “I’m no Dale Evans, but let’s go.”

  Just as Evonne had said, with no prompting from Connie, Sassy followed Blaze out through the gate. As she passed, Kasey reached up and patted Connie’s thigh and gave her an encouraging smile. “If I’m not back by dark, send the posse,” joked Connie. Even Sharon smiled.

  At a slow trot, the horses carried the women over the hill behind the barn and down the path leading through a clump of trees. Connie, feeling more comfortable in the saddle, marveled at Sage’s expertise. “For a big-city woman, you sure are at home on a horse. You handle her very well.”

  They wound their way along the path, Sage not responding immediately. “There’s more to New York than New York City,” she returned, passing through an opening in the trees. They paused at the edge of a large field, adjacent to the trees. “I had access to a large horse farm upstate.”

  A nice easy trot and comfortable conversation. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all. “I used to ride a lot, but it’s been at least ten years since I was on a horse.”

  “Maybe it would help if you thought of it like having sex with a man—the more you relax, the less painful it will be.”

  Connie locked her blue eyes into the steely brown stare. It was apparent now that the situation wasn’t intended to be a comfortable one. Apparent, too, was the correctness of her instinct regarding the loose cinch. Sage hadn’t forgotten. “Do you dislike me because of Sharon or because of Kasey?”