Making Her Wait

by Brianna Cash

  Waving Kane off, I move to my room. Callie was right. It was easy to say goodbye to this house after I talked to Walker. I got the closure I needed. Plus, something I didn’t think was possible. He told me he loves me.

  That kinda changed everything. That kinda made me think that we both made huge mistakes. And now that we know what life is like without the other in it, maybe we should just jump all in and try again. With our eyes wide open this time.

  But I’ve been too busy to call and properly talk to him. I wanted to wait until everything settled down, but it seems like nothing is going to settle down ever again. Calvin called me last week and told me he’s getting married. Married! My little brother! He never even told me he was seeing anyone!

  Calvin’s fiancé is not like Heidi. She wants a small, intimate wedding, and she wants it as soon as she can get it. Their bridal shower is next weekend and they’re getting hitched next month. And the anniversary of our parents’ death is right in the middle of those two important weekends.

  Picking up some random things that were hiding under my bed, I throw them in the nearest box, knowing that unpacking is going to be a bitch, no matter how organized my packing methods are. Callie took a lot when she moved out. I told her to take the living room furniture and the dining room table, the bigger things that are more expensive. I’m still questioning that decision since she makes a lot more money than I do, but if I’m starting over, I want to really start over. New house. New things. New furniture.

  New memories…

  Once the moving truck is packed and ready to go, I tell everyone I’ll meet them at my new place with pizza and beer, plus a salad for Callie. I want a minute alone in this house that oversaw the many years, the many fights, the many hugs and laughs and conversations and decisions my small family had.

  This house kept what’s left of my family together.

  We all live on our own now, but because we chose to, not because we were forced to. This house was good to us. I hope this house is just as good to the next family that lives here.

  I’ll be back. I need to clean the entire house from top to bottom. But it’s nice to see it this way. Lived in, but empty. A shell waiting to be filled with love and life and everything in between.

  Looking around one last time, I let my hand trail over the railing of the stairs, along the walls, and the counters of the kitchen, over the knobs of the front door. I make a loop, thinking about all the life lessons I learned here, all the things I experienced here, all the things I tried to teach Calvin and Callie here.

  Then I think about Walker and all the things I learned about myself here.

  I know what I’m going to do. I hope I’m right about how he’s going to react.

  I walk away from my old house with a smile, knowing I’m doing the right thing.

  I don’t need closure. I need to give Walker everything, and find out if he really does trust me now.

  Walker

  She’s moving today.

  I haven’t heard from her since I met her on the hiking trail, but I started talking to the guys again. Kane and Alex both hang out with her on a semi-regular basis. Kane sees her almost every weekend, but I’m not worried about it after meeting his new girlfriend. He’s head-over-heels for Casey, who’s a tiny thing he towers over. When they stand next to each other, the top of her head barely meets the middle of his chest. I wonder how that works, but I’m not going to ask.

  It was good to hang out with them again. They already knew I’d met with Genny, that I knew the truth, that I apologized to her for being such an ass. They knew the basics; the gist of the conversation we had. They don’t know I told her I love her. They don’t know that she cried and asked to touch me. They don’t know that she kissed me and literally ran away from me.

  Even if they only know half of the information, it’s nice to know they think she’s going to give me a second chance. They’ve all told me not to fuck it up. They’ve all guaranteed they’ll let me know if they see me doing it, and they’ll kick my ass if I don’t listen to them again.

  It’s good to know they have my back… If Genny agrees to give me a second chance.

  I’m over at Reese’s, hanging out with Steve watching the game. We’ve been getting to know each other a bit more since I’m here almost all the time now. He’s been helping me deflect my mother’s attempts at setting me up on blind dates, and I’ve been teaching him how to fix things that need to be worked on around the house. It’s slow going because of his schedule, but I’d trust him to fix a broken toilet lever or to clear out the garbage disposal when it gets jammed now.

  Genny was over to see Zeke and Finn last weekend. Reese told me she was coming, and I stayed away. I’m giving her the space she asked for, even if it’s getting harder and harder to do.

  When the game ends, I get my shit around and drive back to my new home. Or at least the place where I sleep. I wouldn’t really call it home. A text comes through as I’m parking, and I wonder what Reese forgot to tell me before I left. Knowing she probably wants me to pick something up or come back and get something, I let the engine run while I check her text.

  But it’s Genny finally getting a hold of me, not Reese.

  Genny: Hey. Are you busy?

  I type out a quick reply, knowing there’s nothing I wouldn’t drop entirely to talk to her. Even if by text.

  Walker: Definitely not.

  Genny: Wanna see my new place?

  She’s kidding right? She’s talking to me and asking me to come see her? She’s letting me know where she’s going to be living, giving me the chance to know where to stalk her the way I’ve done off and on for months?

  Walker: Yes.

  She texts me an address and I briefly wonder if she’s playing a joke on me. It’s the same street as her old place. What did she do, move a few blocks down?

  Genny: Warning: It’s a DISASTER. I moved today, and nothing is organized or unpacked. There’s left over pizza if you’re hungry, though. Oh! And I don’t have a couch. Or any chairs. Just so you know what you’re walking into.

  Smiling at her warning and all the memories it brings, I hope she knows she’s teasing me by sending a text worded like that. I’ll sit on the damn floor just to be near her. Hell, I’ll stand for the rest of my life if I have to.

  I’m nervous, but hopeful. If she was going to tell me there was no way she could give me another chance, she wouldn’t be inviting me over, right? She wouldn’t be this nice to me. She would probably just text me telling me to leave her alone. This has to be good news.

  Her new house has a front and back porch. And it’s out in the middle of nowhere. Her closest neighbors must be half a mile away. She has a garage now. She also has bare windows and every light is on in her small, one story house.

  I’m not sure which door to go to, so I hesitate once I get out of my car. Or maybe I’m hesitating because I’m afraid to go in and have my hope crushed. Either way, Genny solves the problem by standing in front of the backdoor, her curvy silhouette blocking my view into her new house, but a sight I could stare at forever.

  “Hi,” she calls softly as I climb the two steps onto the back porch. She opens the door and I follow her into the house, hoping to get some kind of clue as to how this is going to go by the expression on her face. She’s giving nothing away tonight. Not yet. I look around her new place, instead.

  There isn’t a single piece of furniture to be found. The TV stand is set up on the far wall of the living room, with the TV and Xbox on it, but otherwise there’re just boxes. Lots of unpacked boxes.

  Following Genny into her kitchen, she grabs a beer, tilting it back, swallowing its contents before tossing it into a recycling bin sitting in the pantry with the door wide open. “Do you want something to drink? Pizza?”

  “No, I’m good.” Or at least as good as I can be, considering I’m not sure what to expect from her. Am I staying a while? Or is she kicking me out in five minutes after breaking my heart?

  “How ar
e you?”

  “Ah, good, I guess. How are you?”

  “I’m good. I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I sold the house, Callie moved, I moved, obviously, Calvin’s getting married… I’ve been really busy.”

  “Does that mean you haven’t had time to think about giving me a second chance?”

  She cocks her head, looking at me, taking me in, trying to see something in me or on me that will answer whatever question is in her mind. “No, I’ve thought about it. A lot. I was hoping to ask you some follow up questions, though. I don’t want to assume anything.”

  She’s still not sure. If she wants to ask me questions, she’s at least seriously considering it. Which means I still have a chance. We still have a chance.

  “That’s probably a good idea. I foolishly made an assumption a few months ago and lost everything I ever wanted.”

  She smiles. “I had a feeling you’d be ok with it.”

  I like the smile. It gives me a good feeling about all of this.

  Hopping up on the counter, she gets comfortable, her hips shifting back and forth before she takes a deep breath. “Do you still feel the same way?”

  “About you?”

  She nods nervously, and I try not to laugh. She’s asking if I still love her? And she’s nervous about it? “I still love you, Genny. I still want you. I’m still sorry about what I said, and did, and I still want a chance to try to make this work again.”

  “Can I trust you to trust me?”

  “Yes.”

  Something shifts in Genny’s eyes, letting her relax and breathe a little easier. That’s what she needed to hear. That’s what she needed to know.

  “What do you want with me?” she hesitantly asks. “Describe it.”

  “The more we talked about ages ago. I want a chance to have a real relationship with you.” As every word leaves my mouth, I think of a hundred more. Maybe it’ll be too much too soon, but I’m not going to lie to her. She only lied to me once, and had an emotional breakdown because of it. “I want to grow old with you, I want to have kids with you, I want to argue with you over how sweet the coffee is that we share every morning. I wanna bitch about you to my friends because you’re always nagging me to mow the yard instead of playing with the kids. I wanna be thankful for you every day because life just isn’t nearly as fun or exciting or worth it if you’re not with me. I want it all, but only with you, Genny. You’re the key to everything I want.”

  “Alex said you moved. Where do you live now?”

  I rub my neck, at the quick topic switch. “I had to get out of that apartment. I was sleeping on Reese’s couch for weeks whenever Steve wasn’t home. My parents found out, so my dad and I fixed up the storage space above their garage. I’m still looking for something more permanent, but it got me out of there, so for now, I love it.”

  “Can I come see you there sometime?”

  “You can come see me anywhere. Anytime.”

  “Even when you’re at work?”

  “Yes. I’ll always have time for you.”

  Her cheeks turn pink as she gives me an embarrassed smile. “I got written up at work the first time Reese came to see me.”

  That’s my fault. It’s my fault we weren’t together, it’s my fault Reese thought Genny cheated on me, it’s my fault Reese got her in trouble. “I’m sorry, Genny. For everything. I wish I could go back in time and take it all back. I wish we could start over and that it wouldn’t be as messy and complicated and-”

  “Walker?”

  Sighing, I try to calm my thoughts, my emotions, my fears. “Genny?”

  “Will you kiss me?”

  Fuck yes.

  I’m standing in front of her before she can blink. She didn’t tell me to not touch her. She didn’t ask me to stay completely still while she did what she wanted. I hope she realizes that because I can’t stop myself from touching her after the way she interrupted me to ask. Like she couldn’t wait another second to get the words out and my lips on hers.

  Her legs fall open when I reach for her, making space for me between them. She pulls me even closer, letting my arms find a home around her waist as she pushes her hands into my hair, her thighs around my hips. I look deep into her eyes, wishing, hoping, praying she doesn’t push me away.

  Now, or when this kiss is over.

  When she doesn’t look away or act like she’s not exactly where she wants to be, I close my mouth over hers, tasting her for the first time in so damn long. Her lips open under mine, and if that’s not a crystal-clear invitation, I don’t know what is.

  Breathing her in, exploring her mouth, feeling her hands on me, her legs around me, her body in my arms and pressed so tightly against mine, I feel like I’m exactly where I belong. I feel like something is clicking into place, a flip is being switched, and my whole life is righting itself again.

  It's heaven and hell all the same time. Heaven, because she’s my everything and this is what I want, her and me, tangled up in the best possible way. Hell, because I still don’t know. Is this a final kiss goodbye, or a welcome-the-fuck-back kiss?

  She pulls away much too soon, because I don’t want to ever stop. I don’t know when or if I’ll get to do it again. Her eyes are still closed as she leans her forehead against mine, taking a deep breath. Her lips are pink and swollen from our very thorough make-out session, and I still only want to kiss her again.

  For the rest of eternity.

  Pushing me away, she slides down my body, dropping her feet onto the floor. After meeting my eyes, she reaches for my hand. “Can I show you around?”

  You can show me anything, my heart screams. As long as you hold my hand and talk to me with that sweet smile, you can lead me anywhere.

  I simply nod.

  “Obviously, this is the kitchen, and that’s the living room.” Leading me down a small hallway, she pushes one of four doors open. “Here’s the only bathroom. Over here is the basement where the washer and dryer are. I’m not looking forward to carrying the laundry up and down those rickety stairs, let me tell you.”

  I look them over quickly while refusing to let go of her hand. “That’s probably not too bad to fix, I can help you with that.”

  She sends a knowing smirk my way, pulling me farther down the hall. It’s a little house, but it’s cute for just her. The door on the left is open and she calls it the spare room. All it holds is more unpacked boxes. The door on the right is closed, but she slowly pushes it open for me to see. “This is my room.”

  Her bed is against the wall, made and ready for her to jump in to go to sleep. Her dressers drawers are open, and it looks like she may have been unpacking in here when I showed up. After looking around at the scattered boxes, I get pulled back into the kitchen with her. “What do you think?”

  “I like it. Do you have a backyard?”

  “I do. It’s kind of big. I’ll have to pay a neighbor kid to mow it or something.”

  “Or something?” I ask, a smile tugging on my lips as I start to feel more and more confident.

  “Yeah.” She steps in close to me. “A neighbor kid for a few years. Then I’ll probably nag my husband to do it instead of playing with the kids all the time.”

  “Is that right?” I mumble, almost physically unable to speak I’m so worried about screwing it up, right here, right now, when she’s about to give me the answer I’ve been waiting for. “Does that mean I get another chance?”

  Chewing on her lip, she looks up at the ceiling. “You’re not seeing anyone else?”

  “There’s no one, G. Only you.”

  She flashes a brilliant smile at me when I call her G.

  I’m good. We’re good. I’m getting my second chance and there’s no way I’m going to screw it up. Well, I’m sure I’ll screw it up, but not as badly as before. I know what it’s like trying to live without her. I’m not doing that ever again if there’s any way I can help it.

  “And you love me?”

  “Genny… I love you more t
han anything in the world.”

  “I think… maybe…” She draws it out, taking as long as possible to give me the best news I’ve heard in months. “Maybe you should move in with me, and we’ll see how it goes?”

  “What?!”

  I was not expecting that curve ball. She immediately starts pouting, unsure of herself, and I brush my hands across her face, wanting to touch her and reassure her at the same time. “How much did you drink tonight, G?”

  “Only two.”

  “You realize moving in with you is a hell of a lot more than a second chance, right?”

  “You keep swearing you won’t screw it up. I’m not saying I’m gonna marry you! Well, not yet... That’s a few months away at least… But we’ve wasted a lot of time over both of our stupidity, and I don’t see why I can’t give you a second chance while living with you at the same time.”

  “What did you do that was stupid?” I ask, ignoring the marriage comment completely.

  “I didn’t even try to explain, Walker. I was so mad at your for thinking I’d cheat on you or go back on my promise that I didn’t fight for what we had. I didn’t stand up for myself and make you realize what an ass you were being.”

  “Genny, what happened was entirely my fault. I didn’t even give you a chance to explain.”

  “You would have if I had tried,” she insists. “I love you, Walker. You love me. If you really trust me, there’s no reason for us to not be together, and I’m tired of living without you.”

  I’m tired of living without her, too, but this is too much, too fast. I came over here hoping for a second chance, I never expected her to ask me to move in with her. “Can I sleep on it? I feel like this is kind of a huge step and I don’t want you to regret this in a day or a week or a month.”

  She sighs out an annoyed groan. “Take however long you need. I’m pretty used to waiting on you by now.”

  Laughing at her nonchalant way of telling me I take way too long to let us pass all the important milestones in our relationship, I pull her hand up to my mouth and press a kiss to it. “I love you, G. Can I sleep on it here? With you?”