OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  "You did it." His voice was rich with satisfaction. "You went there and bought this stuff. For me."

  "Well, I got a little something out of the experience, myself."

  "I hope so." He propped his head on his hand. "How does it feel, wearing something like this?"

  "Kinky. It's not the most comfortable underwear I've ever owned, and I couldn't stand it for a whole day, but for a few hours, it sure encourages you to think about sex all the time."

  "If I'd known you had this on, we wouldn't have made it through dinner." He stroked the exposed part of her breast. "In fact, I probably would have ripped the ties of that dress so I could get to what was underneath."

  "I thought I might rip them, too, because I was shaking so much."

  "You were? I couldn't tell. You looked like you had it all together."

  She smiled. "That's what you were supposed to think. Anyway, on the off chance I'd rip the dress, I brought a change of clothes and left them in the car."

  His expression brightened. "Does that mean you can leave for work from here in the morning?"

  "No, not really." She noticed as the light left his eyes. He might not disappoint her, but she always seemed to be disappointing him. "I didn't bring makeup or my briefcase." She'd made that decision consciously, though. Coming prepared to spend the night and go directly to work from his place sent a certain message. Next he'd suggest she move a few things into his closet, and then—

  "I didn't mean to push."

  "I know."

  "Forget I said that." He continued to toy with her breasts. Finally he leaned over and began running his tongue around her nipples.

  Her worry about their situation eased with every swipe of his tongue. Sex didn't solve anything, but it pushed the problems away for a while. And she wanted him again. She couldn't believe how quickly her desire returned, even after she'd been so completely satisfied a moment ago.

  "Keep that up and I'll forget my own name," she said.

  His answering chuckle told her he was ready to change the subject back to sex, too. He raked her nipple with his teeth while he ran his hands over the bits of satin outlining her breasts. "I suppose you want to take this off, now."

  "Not necessarily." Not while she was watching him caress her through the openings in the bra. It was quite a turn-on.

  "How about this?" He ran his finger around the crotchless thong.

  "Do you want me to leave it?"

  "Uh-huh." He stroked his palm down over her damp curls and slid two fingers inside her slick heat. "It's like an open invitation. I'd never get tired of seeing you in this."

  "Sure you would." Although when he rubbed his fingers back and forth, she wasn't sure of anything except that another orgasm was on the way.

  "No. I wouldn't. And I do believe I'm going to accept that open invitation one more time."

  "Good."

  "Yes, it will be." He rolled away long enough to get another condom. Then he was back, moving between her legs, not so frantic as he had been earlier. And when he pushed deep, he held her gaze. "I'll only say this once, but I hope you'll think about it."

  "Sam, I—"

  "This sort of happiness doesn't come along every day."

  She swallowed. "I know. But—"

  "Never mind, Kasey. Never mind anything. Just come for me."

  And very quickly, she did. He kissed her while she climaxed, muting her cries of release so they wouldn't alarm his neighbors too much. Then he followed soon after, muffling his groans of completion against her shoulder.

  And as they lay together, holding each other close, she knew he was right. Happiness was within her grasp. If she let it slip away, there was no guarantee she'd ever find it again.

  * * *

  Chapter 16

  «^»

  Sam accepted the idea that he had to be patient with Kasey. They spent the night making love, sleeping a little, discussing his promo campaign, finishing the last of the wine, eating ice cream he'd forgotten he had in the back of his freezer. With each passing hour, he believed he was making progress. She'd look at him for long moments at a time, and he could almost hear her thinking. That was good.

  She was a smart woman, and smart women didn't make stupid mistakes—like giving up the best relationship they'd ever had. He certainly wouldn't make that mistake, but it wasn't all up to him. And he'd had more experience in this and knew how rare their interaction was.

  Ever the optimist, he hoped she'd say something definitive before she left in the gray light of dawn. She'd changed into her spare outfit, shorts and a T-shirt, and she stood with him by the front door as they exchanged a few more sleepy kisses.

  "You're sure you're okay to drive?" he asked.

  "I'm fine to drive." She kissed him again. "We got some rest."

  "Not much. But I'm not complaining." He couldn't worry about a little sleep when his whole future was on the line. "So what about tonight?"

  "Let's see—it's Friday, right?"

  He had to stop and figure it out. "Yes. Friday. Do you want to go somewhere? A movie?" If she said yes, then maybe she was giving up on the secrecy. He would be happy to give that up. They wouldn't flaunt their relationship around her office, but he didn't think anyone would have a problem with it, anyway.

  She frowned as if turning the idea over in her head. "We could go away for the weekend," she said at last. "Not anywhere that costs a lot, but up in the mountains they have some—"

  "I can't this weekend." And he sincerely regretted that. A whole weekend together might really change her mind about their relationship. But he'd promised Colin.

  "Oh. Well, then—"

  "Colin has another gig Saturday night. Do you want to go?"

  He prayed she'd say yes, that she'd love to go. That would solve everything. They'd go hear the Tin Tarantulas and let everyone know they were together. But he didn't want to push the idea and risk scaring her away.

  "Let me think about it," she said.

  "Okay." He tried not to let his disappointment show. He must have failed, because she slid her arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe to kiss him. "I'm confused right now, Sam," she murmured. "I thought I knew exactly how I wanted things to be, but now I'm not sure. I've been thinking about what you said. I really have."

  "That's all I ask. Take your time."

  "Let's go for a drive tonight, away from the city. We can sit and talk."

  He wasn't above playing his trump card. He nuzzled her neck and cupped her breast. "And make out a little in the back seat of my car?"

  She wiggled closer. "I could probably be persuaded."

  "Then wear something that's easy to get off."

  "Shall we say seven?"

  He didn't want to wait that long. "Shall we say six-thirty?"

  She laughed and kissed him full on the mouth. Then she released him. "Six. And this time I'll skip the underwear completely. How's that?"

  "Lady, you don't even have to ask. Are you sure you have to leave right this minute?"

  "Yes." She opened the door and blew him a kiss. "Six o'clock."

  "I'll be there with condoms on."

  She grinned at him. "Bye, Sam."

  "Bye, Kasey." After the door closed, he stood there awhile and wished he didn't feel so damned unsure about where they were headed. He fought the urge to go after her and demand that she be completely honest about what she felt. Surely she'd have to admit that she was falling in love with him. She'd have to or risk lying. He'd seen love in her eyes thirty seconds ago.

  Then he heard the sound of her little red convertible pulling out of his driveway. He'd lost the chance to force her to say something, and no doubt that was for the best. Thinking about her car brought up the memory of when he'd first seen her and noticed her vanity plate—SO REDY.

  He'd thought it was a brazen invitation from a woman ready for adventure, sexual or otherwise. Now he realized it was a brave attempt to become something she'd never been. In some ways, like with the Slightly Scandalous under
wear, she'd started living up to that plate. But in other ways, she was still afraid—afraid to trust herself to make the right decision.

  After all, they'd only known each other a few days. He needed to cut her some slack, give her more time. Eventually, she'd come around to his way of thinking. He smiled. Eventually. Such a vague word. Orgasm. Such a definite word. He'd concentrate on orgasms, and let eventually take care of itself.

  * * *

  By all rights, Kasey knew she should be tired. Instead she was a mass of worries and wouldn't have been able to sleep even if she'd had the time. She loved Sam and wanted to be with him. She no longer cared about all the other guys she was supposed to get Bad Girl experience from.

  And yet she was only twenty. How could she commit to Sam at such a young age? Her parents and Jim would probably hate the idea, although maybe not after they got to know Sam again. They'd liked him once upon a time, when he'd been Jim's buddy.

  And that was the other thing—she was very afraid of how Sam would react if he found out how young she was. He'd fallen for a woman he thought was close to his age. Knowing the truth about her could change everything, but if she was seriously considering giving in to her emotions regarding Sam, then she'd have to tell him.

  She needed advice, but she couldn't go to her friends in the office. Sam was a client, and the client issue was weird enough without bringing the whole office in on their love affair. Even more important, everyone in the office thought she was older, just as Sam did. They wouldn't understand the scope of the problem unless she revealed her age, which she wasn't about to do.

  Only one person might be able to help, and Kasey hesitated to call her. Alicia and Jim had broken up several months ago, and Kasey had a bad feeling that she'd been part of the reason. Jim hadn't been happy with Kasey's makeover. A typical big brother, he was much more comfortable when she wore glasses and denim jumpers.

  But after thinking about the problem for most of the morning and getting very little done at work, Kasey decided to risk calling Alicia. She asked if Alicia would consider meeting her for lunch.

  "I would love to do that!" Alicia said. "I've missed you!"

  "This isn't about Jim," Kasey said quickly, afraid Alicia might misunderstand the call.

  "That's okay. In fact, I was sad when we lost touch after Jim and I broke up. It doesn't seem fair that I should lose you as a friend, too."

  "You're right. And the fact is, I desperately need some advice."

  Alicia laughed. "According to Jim, I'm the worst person to give you advice."

  "I don't see it that way. Can we meet at noon at the Coco's down the road from my office? That's about halfway between your work and mine."

  "I'll be there."

  "Great. See you then." Kasey hung up feeling much better. Alicia would help her figure this out.

  * * *

  As Kasey walked into the restaurant, she found Alicia at once. She'd cut her dark hair short, but otherwise she looked the way Kasey remembered her—tall and vivacious, with strong features and a ready smile. Kasey thought Jim had holes in his head for breaking up with her.

  "You look fabulous," Alicia said when they'd settled into a booth. "Are the guys swarming around or what?"

  "Well, one particular one is, but I haven't told him I'm only twenty."

  "Ah. Afraid he'll freak?"

  "Partly. Here's the weird part. I knew him twelve years ago, when he was in Jim's senior class."

  Alicia's carefully made-up eyes widened. "And he doesn't know that, either, I'll bet. Or remember you. And of course you have a different last name from Jim."

  "Exactly. So I thought I'd just have some fun and then walk away. I had a crush on him twelve years ago, so it was—"

  "Too tempting to resist."

  "Right."

  The waitress arrived and Alicia chose something quickly, as if not really interested in the food. Kasey picked the same menu item as Alicia to save time.

  After the waitress left to fill their order, Alicia turned back to Kasey. "I completely understand why you'd go for him, even knowing the age difference."

  Kasey sighed with relief. She'd made the right decision, calling Alicia. "The thing is, Sam's really a great guy. Everything between us is … wonderful. He's pushing for some kind of commitment, and to be honest, I'm falling for him, too. But I'm only twenty."

  Alicia smiled. "You don't look it."

  "Thanks to you, I don't. And Sam has no idea. I'm sure he thinks I'm at least twenty-five, maybe older. I told him that until recently I'd looked like such a nerd that I hadn't had many dates, and that now I want to find out what it's like to be single and attractive."

  "I'll bet that went over like a lead balloon."

  Kasey thought about Sam's struggle to understand her position. "He's trying to see it my way. But I'm not being fair to him. Plus, I'm beginning to wonder if I'd be stupid to break up with him so I could date a lot of other guys who wouldn't be nearly as great as Sam."

  Alicia leaned forward. "Kasey, you have to tell him how old you are. Then see how he reacts. Right now he doesn't have enough information about you. He's falling for someone he doesn't really know."

  What a depressing thought. But Kasey knew Alicia was right. The fantasy had been terrific, but she had to level with Sam and take a chance he'd dump her … or he wouldn't. "Let's say he doesn't run screaming into the night when he finds out I'm twenty and the kid sister of one of his high-school friends. Let's say he doesn't feel horribly betrayed because I misled him. Let's say he gets over both of those hurdles and still wants me. Am I crazy to consider tying myself down?"

  Alicia studied her for several seconds. "Have you imagined your life without him?"

  "Yes."

  "And how does that seem to you?"

  "Horrible. Sad. A complete waste."

  "Then there's your answer, Kase. We don't always get to have things turn out the way we planned."

  Kasey looked across the table at the woman she'd hoped would become her sister-in-law. "I know. It was mostly my fault that you broke up with Jim, wasn't it?"

  "No, no, no." Alicia reached over, grabbed Kasey's hand and squeezed it. "Don't go on that guilt trip, Kase. If it hadn't been you, it would have been some other situation where I acted independently and disagreed with his take on things. But here's the punch line—I think he's having a change of heart."

  "Jim?" Kasey sat up straighter. "When did this happen?"

  "This morning. He called right after I talked to you. Talk about weird karma."

  Kasey gasped. "You didn't tell him you were meeting me, did you? Because I don't want him asking questions until—"

  "Sweetie, of course not. What's between you and me is private. But Jim asked if I'd go out with him Saturday night. It seems a friend of his called, and his little brother is playing in a band… Kasey, what on earth is wrong? You look positively green."

  Her stomach pitched. This couldn't be happening.

  "Sam is the friend who called him. Sam's little brother has a band."

  "Well, that is a coincidence. But it doesn't have to mean anything, does it? I mean, just because your Sam called Jim, that doesn't mean that they talked about you."

  "Maybe not." Kasey tried to calm down, but she had a bad feeling about the whole thing. "It's just that Sam hasn't contacted Jim since he came back to town. If they talked on the phone this morning, Jim might have decided to fill Sam in on the family, tell him what everybody's up to."

  "Or not."

  "Or not. But I'd hate for Sam to find out who I am by accident from someone else. The truth is, I did mislead him, and I want to be the one who tells him so." They'd been dating only a few days, and she'd kidded herself that she had plenty of time to confess. She might already be too late.

  "Of course you want to tell him yourself, and I'll bet you'll be able to tonight."

  "I'll have to make it tonight. Jim will be seeing him tomorrow night."

  "And will you be going to hear the band?"

&
nbsp; Kasey looked across the table at Alicia. "I don't know yet. Listen, would you excuse me for a minute so I can make a quick call?"

  "No problem. I'll check my messages, too." Alicia pulled out her cell phone.

  Kasey did the same, located Sam's card and punched in his mobile number. When he didn't pick up, she left a message to have him call her. She needed to hear his voice before they met tonight. If he sounded completely normal, then he hadn't discussed her with Jim.

  Sam didn't return the call during lunch. Kasey forced herself to concentrate on Alicia, who seemed thrilled that Jim was back in touch.

  "He said he's had time to do a lot of thinking, and he was wrong to try and control me," Alicia said. "He's a good guy. He just had some growing up to do. Now maybe he's old enough for me." She laughed.

  Kasey smiled, happy for Alicia even though worry about Sam was eating at her gut. Maybe age wasn't as important as she'd thought. Alicia and Jim were exactly the same numerical age but hadn't been the same mental age according to Alicia. Kasey had always been old for her years, so she and Sam might be exactly right. It felt that way.

  Now if only he would call her.

  * * *

  But Sam didn't call. Kasey tried every number she had for him, and he was always unavailable. The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach wouldn't go away. She told herself not to buy trouble, but by the time she drove home to get ready for their date, she was convinced that Sam knew the truth, and that was why he was avoiding her. Nobody liked finding out that a person they'd trusted had been deliberately hiding information about themselves, and hearing it from a third party was the worst way to get the news.

  As she packed a small knapsack of munchies for the drive, she tried to think what she'd do if he failed to show up tonight. Finally she decided that if he hadn't arrived by six-thirty, she'd go to his house. If necessary, she'd scale the wall around his patio and wait for him there. He'd have to come home some time, and she'd make him listen. But maybe she wouldn't have to do any of that, because maybe Sam would arrive as scheduled and then she'd have the whole evening to work up to her confession.