When I walked into my office, I realized with a jolt that keeping silent would be easier than I’d anticipated. I’d forgotten Smith would be present for our afternoon session. His stench pervaded my office, and I bit my tongue to keep from asking him if he’d ever considered changing his shirt.
My filter hadn’t captured any further communications with Fuzzy Bunny, so I made a substantial dent in the decryptions during the afternoon. When I emerged from the network and let go of my pounding head, Spider gave me a small smile.
“You’re making some progress.”
“Finally.” I rubbed my aching eyes. “Too bad there’s no way of knowing if any of those files are valuable until I get into them.”
He shrugged. “They’re all valuable to some extent. Even if there’s no actual intel in them, it helps to see the internal structures and systems Fuzzy Bunny uses. And you never know what’s going to turn out to be important down the road.”
“I guess you’re right.” I sighed and looked at my watch. “I’m starving. Do you want to go over to Eddy’s for supper?”
Spider caught my eye. “No, I’ve got some work to do tonight over at the other office. Let’s grab something quick at the Greenhorn instead.”
I concealed my sudden interest. Maybe he’d made some progress of his own. “Okay. I’ll meet you in the lobby after you take the key back down to the secured area.” I followed him out of the office and did my best to look bored while I hovered in the lobby.
At the Greenhorn, he leaned across the table. “I’ve been digging into Katya. I’m not sure if this is going to help us or not.”
I glanced quickly around the tiny restaurant. A couple of other tables were occupied, and we could be easily overheard. “Can we talk at the office?”
He nodded and clammed up, but curiosity got the better of me. “Did you find a lot of information?”
Spider shook his head. “No, just bits and pieces. It looks as though there’s been some professional-quality covering up. I’m not even sure what it adds up to, but it’s definitely interesting.”
I held back my questions with difficulty while I bolted down my meal without tasting it. Spider seemed equally disinclined to dawdle, and we were on our way to his office a few minutes later.
His shoulders sagged as he unlocked the door to the small converted house that he and Kane had shared. Sympathy choked me, and I bit my tongue to keep from telling him Kane was really alive. Instead, I focused on the knowledge that the sooner we could nail Stemp, the sooner everyone could stop suffering.
Spider sank into the chair behind his desk in the former living/dining space. He glanced over at Kane’s empty desk and ran a hand over his face briefly before unlocking a desk drawer to withdraw several sheets of paper.
“Let’s go to the meeting room,” he mumbled as he stood.
We sat at the small table in one of the converted bedrooms, and he carefully scanned the room with his handheld scanner before speaking.
Then he pushed the papers across the table to me. “Here’s what I’ve discovered so far. Stemp used to be a field agent, but he switched over to administration five years ago and quickly got promoted up the chain into his current director’s position. But about seven years ago, he was part of an op that took place in Bulgaria. That’s the only time he was officially there.”
Something in his voice made me prompt, “But...”
I recognized the hunter’s smile. “But... unofficially, he’s travelled to central Europe several times since then. A few times within a year of his first visit. A couple of times a year, after that. There’s no record of him visiting Bulgaria again.”
“But...” I prompted again. I didn’t mind playing straight man. I could see there was more coming.
“But...” Spider’s smile turned predatory. “He slipped up. I found little things here and there. A credit card receipt. A phone record. I can’t place him in Bulgaria with each trip, but I’m willing to bet he went.”
I leaned forward, rapt. “So who’s Katya?”
“That’s why I’m willing to bet he went. Because I hacked into each of his sessions again today, and guess what?”
“What, what?” I demanded. “Jeez, spit it out already!”
He blushed. “It seems Katya is his lover. And has been for some time.”
I sat back slowly in my chair. “Oh. But what does that mean? Did you find any links between Katya and Fuzzy Bunny?”
“No.” Spider slumped back in his chair, too. “I can’t find any connection at all. I dug into everything I could find. I found out where she lives, and she works at the Sofia Technical University, but that’s all.”
“Shit. So we’re no further ahead on proving anything.”
“No. Unless we can show that Stemp has been secretly meeting with Fuzzy Bunny operatives over in Europe, there’s no connection there.” He sighed. “I’ll keep digging.”
The sound of the doorbell made me jump.
“Oh, that’ll be Hellhound,” Spider said as he stood.
I quickly folded the papers and stuffed them into my pocket as I looked at my watch. “At eight o’clock at night?”
“Yes, he said he needed something from Kane’s desk.” The animation drained from his face.
I trailed him out into the office area as he opened the door. Hellhound gave him a nod as he stepped into the room. The tired lines in his face eased when he smiled at me. “Hi, darlin’, what’re ya doin’ here so late?”
“Um... just going over some work stuff with Spider,” I mumbled. “I’ve been helping out with the overflow from his web design business.”
True, though not relevant. I hate lying at the best of times, and lying to somebody I cared about was even worse.
Hellhound nodded absently and turned to Spider. “I just gotta get a coupla things from his desk. I’m gettin’ ready to clean out his condo, an’ I need some paperwork an’ the keys to his storage locker. I shoulda just got ya to bring ‘em down when ya came, but I wasn’t thinkin’ straight then.”
Spider heaved a sigh and waved a hand at the empty desk. “Go ahead.”
I caught his eye. “Spider, there’s just one more thing I need to ask you before I go.”
“Okay.”
He turned back to me, and I slapped my forehead. “Oh! I left those papers in the meeting room. Let’s go and have a look, and then I’ll take them with me.”
He obediently followed me back down the hall, and I leaned close to whisper. “I got the phones. I’m going to generate a message to our mole first thing tomorrow morning. I’ll set him up to call one of the phones. If he actually calls, I’ll tell him to watch for an ad online at Craigslist for further instructions.”
Spider nodded. “Perfect. You’d better disguise your voice, though. Don’t forget, all of our suspects know you.”
“I was thinking of doing a recorded message. I can run it through my freebie sound-processing software to distort it.”
“That’ll work.” We looked at each other and sighed simultaneously. “Good luck,” he added.
Chapter 44
When we returned to the office area, Hellhound was just getting up from Kane’s chair.
“Got everything?” Spider inquired.
“Yeah.” Hellhound picked up a file box from the corner of the desk. “I’ll get outta here so ya can lock up.”
“Me, too,” I seconded the motion and followed him out. Spider flipped off the lights and turned to lock the door as we went down the walk.
Hellhound’s Forester was parked in front of my car, and I nodded toward it. “What, a nice day like this and you’re not on your bike?”
He opened the rear door to slide the box in. “Nah. Hadta carry the file box. Didn’t feel like tryin’ to strap it down.”
We both lifted a hand in farewell to Spider as he drove off. I turned to look up Hellhound. “How are you doing?”
My heart smote me at the sight of his face. I could erase that weary pain with a few simple words.
He shrugged. “I’m okay. Been better, but ya know how it goes.”
I took his hand and stroked it, trying to remind myself how important it was to keep Kane’s secret.
What would it matter if I whispered the truth in Arnie’s ear? I knew I could trust him to keep his mouth shut. But then there was Doug Kane. How could I tell Arnie the good news, but forbid him to relieve his adopted father’s pain? And what about Spider? And what if Kane ended up dying after all?
When I looked up at him again, some of my struggle must have shown. His face softened as he misunderstood my troubled expression, and he stroked my hair.
“Aw, darlin’. I was gonna head back tonight, but I think I’ll stay at the hotel instead. Come on back with me, an’ we can make it all go away for a little while.”
I had a moment of discomfort as I gazed up at him. Despite my defiant thoughts of sampling the herd, it seemed a little sleazy to have sex with two different men within a day of each other.
Observant as always, he caught my hesitation. “It’s okay if ya ain’t in the mood. I’ll just head on home.”
His voice and expression were casual. If I hadn’t known him, I would have thought he couldn’t care less, but his eyes betrayed him.
Any qualms I might have had evaporated in the knowledge that he needed me tonight. I could offer him comfort, if only for a little while. And besides, we’d been lovers long before anything happened with Kane.
I squeezed his hand. “Let’s go. Can I ride over with you? I don’t want to leave my car at the hotel.”
He frowned down at me. “Ya bein’ watched here?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, but I’d rather not be seen at the hotel.” I didn’t bother to explain the consequences of my last appearance at the hotel. I knew he’d accept my preference without question. I slid into the passenger seat and held his hand while we drove away.
In the pink light of sunrise, I leaned over to kiss Hellhound one more time before I got out of his SUV. “Thanks for bringing me back.”
He chuckled. “Well, I wasn’t gonna make ya walk.”
“That’s good, because my knees are still shaking after this morning.”
He captured my lips in a lingering kiss. His gifted fingers slid through my hair and traced a feather-light caress down the side of my neck. I shivered at the brush of his whiskers and his deep growl in my ear. “Checkout time ain’t ‘til eleven, darlin’. An’ I still got half a box of condoms.”
I pulled away reluctantly and grinned at him. “You always travel with a whole box of condoms?”
“Hell, yeah. ‘Specially if I might see ya.” His cheerful leer did my heart good. “I promise I’ll put a smile on your face. Again.” He bounced his eyebrows.
I slid out of the vehicle before I could change my mind, and leaned in the open door. “You always do put a smile on my face. Any other time, I’d take you up on that, but I have to do some important work stuff this morning. See you. Drive safe.”
“See ya, darlin’.”
I watched him drive away before hopping in my car to head for home, still smiling.
I was only a couple of miles out of town when a movement from the back seat caught my eye. Adrenaline jolted through me when I realized the collapsible seat back was opening into the interior, and a dark-haired man started to push his head and shoulders through the opening.
I slammed on the brakes in horrified déjà vu. Kane’s body thumped against the back of my seat as the car swerved wildly.
“Aydan, it’s me! Keep driving!” Kane righted himself in the back seat while I hyperventilated.
I concentrated on keeping the car on the road, trying to loosen my deathgrip on the wheel.
“Jesus, John, what the hell!” I stammered finally. “I damn near crashed the car!”
“Sorry,” he grunted.
I drove for another mile or so before I calmed down enough to talk. “What the hell are you doing in my trunk? I thought you were going to stay around the farm.”
“Change in plans,” he said shortly. “You’ve got guards in your yard now. Probably Stemp watching for me.”
I glanced at his frown in the rear-view mirror. “How did you get away from the guards?”
“Stole Rossburn’s truck and ditched it halfway to town. Walked in the rest of the way.”
“How did you find me?”
“Followed you when you left Sirius yesterday.”
I threw an incredulous glance over my shoulder. “Where were you? I didn’t even see you.”
He scowled and jerked a shoulder. “I’m a spy.”
I put two and two together with a sinking sensation. If he’d been following me all evening, I had a hunch as to why he sounded so terse. His next words confirmed my suspicions.
“How’s Hellhound?”
I met his eyes in the mirror. “He’s suffering. Unnecessarily.”
“But you made it all better for him last night.”
I jammed on the brakes and steered the car over to the shoulder.
“Keep driving,” Kane growled.
“No.” I twisted around in the seat to face him. “Get up here and talk to me. Say what you really want to say.”
“I don’t have anything to say.”
“You’re upset because I was with Hellhound last night.”
“Who or what you do is none of my business. I don’t have any claim on you.”
I reined in my temper with an effort and kept my voice as non-confrontational as possible. “John, could we please just be honest about this? I’m sorry if you’re hurt, but Arnie and I have been lovers off and on since March. He needed me last night.” With heroic restraint, I managed not to add, ‘Because of you.’
“Since March?” His expression closed down. He sat in silence for a few moments. “So all this time...” He took a deep breath. “I should have seen that.”
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way. Bad timing.”
He shrugged, his face impassive. “So all this time, you’ve been screwing him and coming onto me at the same time. What exactly do you want?”
I controlled my voice with an effort. “Go ahead. Say it.”
“Say what?”
“Call me a slut. You obviously want to.”
“No, I don’t want to.” His voice was hard. “I just want to know where I stand with you. Are you in love with him?”
“John...” I sighed. “Look, could you please come and sit in the front seat so we can talk comfortably? If you’re going to ask questions like that, this is going to be a long, complicated conversation.”
He crossed his arms over his broad chest, his muscles flexing as if battling an invisible foe. “It’s not complicated. Are you in love with Arnie? Yes or no?”
I clenched my fists in my hair and flopped back into my seat to stare through the windshield. “No. I care about him, a hell of a lot. But I’m not in love with him. He’s not in love with me, either. We’re friends. With benefits. That’s all it’ll ever be. That’s what we both want.”
After a few seconds of silence, I heard the back door open and close.
I blew out a long breath. Fine. Whatever.
I was reaching to put the car into gear when Kane opened the passenger door and slid in.
“You should keep driving,” he said quietly. “It’s too dangerous for us to sit here out in the open. Take the next road to get us off the highway.”
I nodded and followed his instructions. We drove in silence down the dusty gravel for a mile or two. At last, he turned to me.
“Aydan...” He paused and made a frustrated gesture. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
I kept my eyes on the road. “I don’t want anything from you.”
“Then what... Dammit, it’s hard to believe I misunderstood your intentions when you had your hand down my pants and your tongue in my mouth!”
“Hey, you had your tongue in my mouth too,” I reminded him.
“Aydan, dammit...” He stopped and t
ook a deep breath.
“Anyway, you know damn well you didn’t misunderstand my intentions,” I interrupted before he could speak again. “But you told me flat out that you couldn’t be anything more than friends with me. And then you showed up in my bed. Now you’re mad because you changed the rules and I didn’t read your mind.”
“Aydan, I... You know this never would have...”
I nosed the car onto an abandoned crossing and stopped so I could turn to face him. “I know. It never would have happened if you hadn’t been drugged to the eyeballs. So let it go. It was just sex. It doesn’t have to be some big thing. If you want to go back to the way we were, that’s fine with me. If you want to go forward being friends with benefits, that’s fine, too. Just tell me what you want. Don’t expect me to read your mind.”
“Are those my only options?” Kane asked quietly.
“What else did you have in mind?”
His fingertips brushed my cheek. “Was it really just sex for you? Could we be more than just friends with benefits?”
His hand dropped as he read my expression. His face closed down.
“John...” I took his hand and held it in both of mine. “What you’re asking for... I don’t have that to give. Not to you, not to anybody. I’m sorry.”
His eyes searched my face. “Aydan, my life frequently depends on being able to read people accurately. And I’d be willing to swear that you love me.”
I turned away to study the brilliant yellow field of canola in front of us. The wind ruffled its surface, bright blossoms caught up in a sprightly dance.
“Do you love me?” he prompted softly.
I answered without looking at him. “John, I don’t like to use that word. It’s too easy to misinterpret.”
“What word do you want to use, then?”
I sighed and pulled my hands away to scrub at my face. “I... There are two kinds of love.” I met his eyes. “In the first kind of love, you’re willing to give your life for another person. You know I feel that way about you. So yes, I love you.”
Reach For the Spy Page 28