Rock and Roll High School: Growing Up in Hollywood During the Decade of Decadence

by Marisa Tellez

  Shortly after The Kids went on, Elise came up to me and gave me a big hug. We screamed over the loud music for a few minutes, catching up on what each other had been up to. She didn’t say a word about my falling out with Cassidy. She ended our conversation by saying it was good to see me and skipped off. I really respected Elise that night. She was the only girl in our little circle aside from Kennedy, who didn’t jump on the “We Hate Marisa” bandwagon. As the show continued on, so did the pattern of people walking up and giving me hugs. Of course it was all the guys, but I was still glad they weren’t letting the girl’s opinions of me get involved in our friendship.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Bronwyn walk up and stand near the left side of the stage by herself. A few minutes later, Cassidy, Amie, and Dina joined her. Cassidy looked right at me while giving her a big hug hello, and that made my blood boil. She knew damn well I hated Bronwyn. Hell, she had been right by my side badmouthing her for weeks after the bathroom incident at Sebastian’s. Now all of a sudden, she was nuzzling Bronwyn like she was a fluffy puppy.

  I spoke with Sunny and Ronnie for a little bit after the show. I could feel the girls staring at us or me I should say. But I ignored them and acted happy as a clam. Sunny asked if I was going to hang out for a little bit, and even though everyone else had been so nice earlier in the night, I felt it was best that I go home. I had gone there to prove a point and succeeded in doing what I set out to do. I didn’t even say goodbye to Sebastian. I gave Ronnie and Sunny a hug goodbye, then made my way out the door (luckily) in one piece.

  While I gave myself a pat on the back for standing my ground, I felt really lonely as I walked out of the Teaszer that night. It was great seeing all my old friends, and I was blown away that everyone was being so nice to me. I really missed going to Hollywood and hanging out with everyone, especially the girls.

  Sure I could’ve ignored the girl’s dirty looks and just resumed going to Hollywood, but it wasn’t the same. The whole tide of the scene out there was changing. It wasn’t just my issues with the girls that kept me away. It could never be like it once was and quite honestly, it just wasn’t fun for me anymore.

  I didn’t even have my default, social pool of The Sunset Strip to dive back into as I had done so many times before. The grunge scene certainly took care of that. Sure people still went to the clubs on The Strip, but the once crowded sidewalks were now a total ghost town. People didn’t hang out on the boulevard to socialize or pass out flyers like they used to. It wasn’t allowed anymore. For the first time in years, you could actually see the sidewalk.

  I left the Coconut Teaszer and decided to drive to Dresden’s house. I had no idea what I was going to say to him, if he was even there. I didn’t even know why I was driving there, but I just kept on going.

  When I pulled up in front of Dresden’s house, the porch light was out, and there was a “For Rent” sign on the front lawn. The way the trashcans were spilling over with cardboard boxes and other garbage, it looked like whoever lived there was in a hurry to get out. My heart sank because I knew he was gone. Looking at that dark, quiet house that once bustled with energy was a serious reality check that my time with Dresden was officially over.

  So lets sum up my life at that point in time. My first love dumped me, I was jobless, and my social circle consisted of a whopping two people, Faye and Kennedy. I was in a serious social coma that I didn't know how to get out of.

  Speaking of Faye, I went shopping with her on Melrose the next day and filled her in on my uneventful night at Sebastian’s show. She in turn told me about a guy named Ren that she was dating. I wasn’t happy that Faye was hanging out with Ren because he was a well-known junkie around Hollywood. It’s common knowledge that you can hang around people who drink and not be a drinker yourself, but heroin is on a whole other level. It’s not a casual crowd that you frequent unless you’re doing heroin yourself. I lectured Faye like a concerned mom over my dislike of Ren. I told her I didn’t want her being around him, but she assured me with her beautiful smile that she knew what she was doing and to stop worrying about her. Of course, that made me worry about her even more.

  A few weeks had passed since Sebastian’s show at the Teaszer. Needless to say, I was bored out of my damn mind. He did invite me to another show at Club Lingerie and even to Michael’s birthday party at the Hollywood Palms Hotel, but I politely declined both invitations. I had no idea why he was suddenly calling and inviting me to hang out when he was still dating Bronwyn. How could he think we were capable of having a “normal” friendship? Even though my social life was on a starvation diet, hanging around him again would be taking way too many steps back into a dark hole. It was stupid of me to go to the Teaszer show in the first place. I already lived through the Sebastian portion of my life, and rehashing that dead dog was not what I wanted to be dragging into my future.

  Although I was technically cut off from the girls, I still had indirect contact through Kennedy because she still talked to Amie and Dina. As far as Cassidy went, Kennedy said they were civil to each other, but she wasn’t happy that Kennedy had chosen to stay friends with me.

  Kennedy called me one afternoon and said she had just gotten off the phone with Dina. According to Kennedy, not only did Cassidy hook up with Sebastian right when we first started dating, but she also hooked up with Dresden shortly before he left back to New York.

  CASSIDY: Hooking up with Sebastian was just one of those things that happened all the time. I don’t remember the timing of whenitfirststarted.Idoknow whenMarisa andIbecamefriends, heandIdidn’thook upatall.ButIdon’tknowifwewerehookingup when they first got together because that was before Iknew her. If wewerehookingup,itwasbecauseIdidn’tknowheryetanddidn’t knowshe wasinthepicture. I neversleptwithDresden.

  Dina also allegedly badmouthed me to Kennedy. She said Dresden was just like every other man and that I was stupid for choosing a guy over my friendship with Cassidy. Kennedy said she tried to tell her that I never slept with Dresden, but Dina wasn’t having it. She said it was like trying to convince her that the sky was green instead of blue.

  Going back to Dresden and Cassidy, the thought of them hooking up made me sick to my stomach. My first instinct was not to believe it. After all, this was the same rumor mill that said I was having sex with Dresden in Cassidy’s house.

  I didn’t want to believe Dresden would do such a thing. But I thought about how he did a complete 180 during Christmas, when he went from being the attentive boyfriend to completely cutting me off. What would’ve happened if I hadn’t gone to visit him at Bleeker Bobs that day? Would I never have heard from him again? I didn’t know who the real Dresden was anymore, and even though I hated to admit it, there was a good chance what Dina told Kennedy could be true.

  And what about my best friend Cassidy? The one who hooked up with Sebastian? I wasn’t even hurt when I found that out, I was pissed off. Not so much that they hooked up. But because she had the nerve to jump the gun and get pissed over a stupid rumor about Dresden and me that wasn’t even true.

  The first thing I did was call Cassidy so I could tell her what a hypocrite she was. But on the 3rd ring, I hung up because I realized there was no salvaging that friendship. Having it out with her wasn’t going to change anything, IF she would even get on the phone with me. A few minutes later, my phone rang.

  “Hello?” I said.

  “Hello? Marisa?” the voice said.

  It took me a second, and then I realized the voice on the

  other end was Joelle.

  “Hi Joelle! How are you?” I said.

  “Did you just call the house?” she said demanding rather

  than asking.

  “No.” I immediately said.

  I don’t know why I said no when I had. It was just a natural

  reaction.

  “Actually I did but…”

  “Why are you crank calling the house?” she said cutting me

  off.

  “I wasn’t crank
calling. I was calling to...”

  “Bullshit, you were totally crank calling. Are you fucking

  ten years old Marisa?”

  “Wait a minute, I wasn’t crank calling,” I said trying to

  explain myself.

  “Calling and hanging up IS crank calling. Why don’t you

  grow up and more importantly, why don’t you go fuck yourself!”

  she yelled and hung up on me.

  I sat there for a few moments with the phone still in my

  hand, completely stunned. Not so much that she told me to fuck

  off, but how did she know it was me that called? And more

  importantly, how did she find out so quickly? Remember folks,

  this was 1993 we’re talking about, before the days of everyone

  having Caller ID. Well me at least.

  Five minutes later, my phone rang again. I considered just

  letting it go to my answering machine because I wasn’t in the

  mood to get bitched at again. But my curiosity got the best of

  me, so I answered the phone. It was Faye.

  I told her what happened with Joelle and she started

  cracking up.

  “You really don’t know how she found out it was you?” she

  asked.

  “No, but it sounds like you do,” I said.

  “Haven’t you heard of star sixty nine?”

  “I have no idea what that is.”

  “It’s a new call return thingy on your phone. You punch

  the star button, then six and nine and it automatically calls back

  the last person who called you.”

  “Wow, I had no idea.”

  “Really? Gawd where have you been?”

  “Living under a rock apparently.”

  I chatted with Faye for about a half hour. Luckily, I didn’t

  get any more disgruntled calls from Joelle or the rest of the girls.

  As for handling Dresden in regards to his supposed hookup with

  Cassidy, I decided to go a more traditional route and write him a

  scathing letter. I told him I knew what he did with Cassidy

  before moving back home, included a few other colorful

  expletives, and sent it off first class to New York.

  Maybe I overreacted by sending that letter to Dresden, but

  it’s not like I had anything else to do with my spare time. I didn’t

  have a social life or a job, all I did was eat and sleep. Playing with

  Sniffy was the only thing that put a smile on my face, but even

  she was a reminder of friends that were no longer in my life. I spent the next few weekends at home, licking my wounds

  over my breakup with Dresden and fighting a bad case of cabin

  fever. Sometimes I’d make the long trek out to Norco to visit

  Kennedy, but the drive was exhausting. The area she lived in was

  very rural. There were no sidewalks along the residential streets.

  There were horse ranches everywhere, and when I’d turn down

  the street to her mom’s house, I’d have to idle by carefully in my

  car because people would be riding their horses alongside me.

  Along with the horses, were also the cow ranches. You always

  knew you were entering the city of Norco by the intense smell of

  cow shit that overtook the air.

  I had just come home from running errands when Kennedy

  called to tell me I was coming out with her that night. She had

  just talked to Chris from Swingin Thing, and he told her about a

  party going on in the valley. Before heading over to the party, she wanted to stop by a club called F.M. Station to see her

  friends play.

  I was reluctant about going anywhere the girls might be and

  I had a good feeling they would be at that party, but Kennedy

  wasn’t taking no for an answer. More importantly, I was sick of

  staying home every weekend, so I agreed to go.

  When Kennedy and I pulled up to F.M. Station that night, I

  noticed one of the bands on the marquee was Rockhoney. I

  started laughing, and Kennedy asked what was so funny. I never

  told her or anyone about Larry, simply because he was in and

  out of my life in the blink of an eye. Kennedy kept pressing me

  for details, so I filled her in on our brief rendezvous, which at

  that point had taken place well over a year earlier.

  Kennedy and I walked into F.M. Station. Her friend’s band

  was already playing onstage, so we decided to head to the bar for

  a cocktail and watch the rest of their set. As we walked to the

  bar, I noticed Larry standing nearby, sipping on drink.

  Considering we didn’t end things badly, I figured it would be

  fine to walk up and say hi to him. I was actually happy to see

  him and figured he would be happy to see me too.

  I gave him a little wave hello as I approached him. He

  smiled at me and waved back, then grabbed my hand and pulled

  me towards him. Kennedy laughed and ordered us some drinks. “Hi there stranger! How...” I started to say.

  “Hi sweetheart. I would love to talk to you, but I’m about

  to play. Can I get your number in case I don’t see you after our

  set?” he said cutting me off.

  “Huh? I haven’t changed my number.”

  “What’s your name darlin?” he said with a big smile on his

  face

  “What are you talking about Larry? You know my name,” I

  said with a raised eyebrow.

  “Oh umm…yeah. Wait, we know each other?”

  “Um yeah. We met at The Whisky about a year ago the first

  time you came to L.A.” I said as I took my drink from Kennedy. “Oh yeah, I remember now,” he said with a confused look

  on his face.

  I knew damn well he didn’t remember me, so I figured I’d

  jog his memory a bit and give myself a good chuckle at the same

  time.

  “Yeah, don’t you remember? We were swapping spit the

  first night we met. Then you invited me to your show at the Red

  Light District and you ended up slobbering all over an Asian girl

  that night by the girls bathroom,” I said without missing a beat. “Oh geez. Wow I did that?” he asked.

  “Yes, you sure did,” I said.

  This time I was the one smiling like the Cheshire Cat. “Damn. I’m really sorry about that. So uhh why don’t I buy

  you a drink?” he said smiling.

  “No thanks. Already got one,” I said lifting my cocktail. He quickly changed the subject and went into a long story

  about how his band relocated to L.A. a few months ago. Even

  though he didn’t remember me, I tried to give him the benefit of

  the doubt. After all, we hadn’t seen each other in so long. It was

  such a brief time that we hung out, so maybe it was wrong of me

  to be bitchy to him.

  “So um…we’re playing a show in two weeks if you want to

  go?” he said.

  “Oh yeah? Where at?” I asked, trying to sound more

  engaging.

  “At the Whisky. Tickets are $15 at the door, but I can sell

  you some for $10.”

  Okay, maybe I had the right idea to be bitchy towards him

  earlier. All his rattling on wasn’t to catch up with an old

  acquaintance. It was only to score a ticket sale. What in the

  world gave him the idea that I was a fan of his band? After

  forgetting he knew me, the least he could’ve done was comp me

  a ticket.

  “No thanks, I’ve already seen your band play twice,” I said
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  coldly.

  By this time, Kennedy’s friends had just finished their last

  song and walked offstage.

  “Well um, it was great seeing you, but we’re on next so we

  have to go set up,” he said looking uncomfortable.

  “Have a great show. We can’t stick around because we have

  a party to go to.”

  I grabbed Kennedy’s hand and we left F.M. Station. We

  made our way out to the party, which ended up being at some

  bands rehearsal studio in North Hollywood. We saw a lot of

  familiar faces like Ronnie, Mandie, Bam, and of course Sunny

  and Chris.

  I was having a great time catching up with Ronnie when I

  noticed Cassidy, Amie, and Dina walk in. I bumped Kennedy’s

  arm with my elbow and motioned with my head towards the

  door.

  “Oh fuck them,” Kennedy said. “We have friends here too

  and have just as much right to be here as anyone else.” “I know. It’s just annoying though,” I said.

  “The whole thing is fucking stupid,” Ronnie said. “Of course it is. I wish someone would tell them that,” I

  said.

  “I’m not getting involved. This is between you guys,” he

  said.

  I chatted with Ronnie for a few more minutes, and then he

  walked off to say hi to the girls. I noticed Dina was wasted

  because she fell on him as she tried to hug him hello. I told Kennedy I needed some air, so I walked outside with

  Chris. Ronnie soon joined us, and a few minutes later Cassidy,

  Amie, and Dina came outside too. The girls walked by me and

  disappeared down the street. I assumed they were leaving and

  breathed a sigh of relief as I continued talking to Ronnie and

  Chris. About fifteen minutes later, the girls reappeared and made

  their way back up the street towards us. They stopped about ten

  feet away from us, and Dina suddenly started yelling insults in

  my direction, as if I had engaged her in conversation. I rolled my eyes and laughed because not one word had

  come out of my mouth in the last few minutes. I had basically

  been standing by, listening to Chris and Ronnie’s conversation. Dina continued barking at me, and every time she yelled