by Casey Hays
“What pleases them?” Chad asks. I eye him, pursing my lips.
“Your returning to the Pit would please them very much.”
“Would it please you?”
I pause, his words causing a small jolt in my conscience. I should tell him “yes.” I should take him by the hand and drag him back across the river and to the safety of his cave. Then I could go to the Council and tell them Ash was mistaken, and he’d been there all along.
If I say “yes,” he might return with me, and isn’t this what I want?
Isn’t it?
He waits, a sort of unsteady caution wavering in his expression, and a new pang pricks my emotions. I crease my brows.
“No.” I hear myself saying. The single word catches on my breath in a croaked whisper. “No, I would not be pleased.”
His shoulders relax.
“And so, what do we do next?” I ask.
We stare at each other, completely at a loss. He smiles, but it fades quickly. After a moment, he places a hand on my stomach.
“The baby grows.”
I nod, placing my hand over his. He lifts his eyes.
“You won’t be able to come out here soon.” His gaze drifts to the entrance of the cave and beyond to the water’s edge. “And I haven’t had much luck catching fish.”
I laugh at his matter-of-fact statement, but my eyes flood with tears, and I place my palm against his cheek. He looks at me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I lured you out of that cave.” I shake my head in desperation, wanting him to understand. “It wasn’t like me at all. I—I don’t do such things, and if I hadn’t done that, you never would have known of freedom. You would be safe inside the Pit right now.”
He’s quiet for the longest time, seemingly absorbing this, and my fears layer over inside me. The minutes scurry by; I must get back to the Village. I tug on his hand.
“Say something.”
“I’m thinking.”
“Of what?”
“Of how to explain so you will understand.”
I tilt my head, perplexed. After a moment, he reaches up and habitually tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear, and his breath eases out.
“You freed me long before you ever took me to the river.”
His eyes drill into me, intense. My heartbeat thumps steady, and the fear relaxes out of me. He makes me feel courage in the midst of our dilemma. I nudge into him, press my lips to his until they part and take me in. His arms tighten around my waist, pulling me close. And the strong feel of him against me reminds me of how much I don’t want him to be in the Pit. I want no other breeder to touch him ever again.
In that instant, I think of what Kate did for Ian. Like her—like Meg—I don’t care to start a rebellion, but I do want to protect this one life. I quite suddenly understand what that means. Sacrifice, hardship… punishment… and I must learn to be brave. I ease back and peer up into Chad’s eyes, run a hand through his ragged hair. Perhaps love is worth it.
“We will find a way,” I whisper. “We will.”
The promise feels empty, but I say it anyway. Because I want it to be true.
Tara makes good on her promise to keep an eye on me. The next night, I find a guard stationed outside my hogan. She gives me a suspicious lift of her brow when I step outside, and I make the excuse of having to relieve myself. She follows me. Back inside my hogan, I pace, my worry over Chad growing. But it’s no use; the guard doesn’t even have the decency to fall asleep.
After three days, I become desperate enough to ask for Blaer’s help. She agrees, but I can tell with one look that I will owe her for it, and I know what she wants. I watch her disappear with a pouch full of food and my heart groans. I hate that I can’t go, but I won’t risk it.
I play my part, and soon, Tara’s suspicions seem to ease a bit as she sees me about the Village attending to my chores. In reality, I have no ill motives—only a dangerous weakness for a man—which is odd in and of itself. Because it does not feel wrong, and I have to concede to it.
*
A week after my trek across the river, the Council calls a meeting of all the breeders. A rustle of voices echoes through the big room of the Great Hall, and I pause on the threshold allowing my eyes to adjust to the sudden change in lighting. Women in various stages of pregnancy, some not yet pregnant at all, fill the room. A meeting of this kind—breeders only—has never occurred in the Village before to my knowledge, and apprehension causes a sheen of sweat to break out across my upper lip. I rub sweaty palms together and take a few steps, slumping down on the edge of the crowd. The Council sits at a long table on the back end of the platform. Leah catches my eye, smiles briefly, and quickly looks away. Tara stands, positions herself center stage. The slight whispering of the women grows still.
“We’ve called you together today to discuss a serious situation,” Tara begins. “As many of you know, we’ve had a small group of males—intruders—disrupt the serenity of our village of late. During their escape, they managed to break the locks of every cave in the Pit.”
A rustle of whispers floats across the assembly, and someone calls out. “You mean... those giants?”
The small, scared voice comes from the back. I hold still as I digest this theory. Another voice.
“Why were we not told of this other village?”
Surprisingly, Tara’s eyes dart toward the voice nervously, her cool confidence faltering. She shakes her head.
“You have nothing to fear. They are no longer a threat.”
“And what of the stock? We’ve heard some escaped.”
Another fearful rumbling rolls through the crowd, and I shiver. Men were the cause of all our troubles so many years ago, and the fear is justified. In our lessons, we learned what men are capable of doing. One man alone is not as much of a concern, but if they unite…
Chad is in my mind.
“What you say is true,” Tara continues. Her stern eyes fall over me for a moment. I cringe beneath them. Another quiet rumble. Tara raises a hand.
“The locks are under reparation. Soon the Pit will be secure.” Her fists clench at her sides, and she paces to one side of the platform, her whip coiled on her hip. “This, however, touches on the very reason as to why we’ve gathered you here.”
Eleanor stands, her chair scraping backward across wood. She comes around the edge of the table and faces us, her gray hair piled in a neat bun atop her head.
“The stock are a very simple kind,” she begins. “I myself oversee their upbringing, and I can assure you they are too simple-minded to plan an escape. We have carefully trained each member to remain in his proper station as a mate for the good of himself and his breeder. With or without locks, he is incapable of making a decision to leave without some encouragement, and even still, the outcomes vary.” She clasps her hands firmly, her back tall, almost regal. “But when a breeder puts ideas in a dog’s mind…”
Her voice trails, and a low murmuring rumbles through the room.
“Someone helped them?” Jen asks. My eyes fall on the young girl beside me.
“Not only helped,” Eleanor replies. “But somehow encouraged them to ignore their calling.”
Jen’s eyes grow wide with innocent questioning. “Why would someone do that?”
My bowels tremble as a slow ache invades my stomach. I sink lower in my spot.
“Why? “Eleanor’s voice carries a clear hint of anger. “Because they’ve chosen to follow in the footsteps of a rebel.”
A deathly silence follows her comment. No one moves for a good minute.
“How many have escaped?” A nervous voice finally asks.
“Eight.”
Eight?
“However, six were quickly apprehended—along with the breeders who chose to defy the Moirai.”
As if on cue, the rear door to the room opens and a handful of guards enter, parading six girls through. They’re all young, and I recognize five of them. Audra, Lynn, Rae, Cama and She
a. My eyes dash toward Eleanor.
“There will be no more escapes, I assure you.” The girls are herded up onto the platform, and the sick feeling in my gut grows. “We’ve now stationed a guard on duty at the top of the ladder… and a guard at the bottom.” She takes a couple of steps forward until the toes of her shoes reach the very edge of the platform. “I will be frank with you, ladies. Our stock has grown slim, and it will be several years before we can replenish the Pit. We cannot afford to lose anymore.” Her light, blue eyes turn hard. “I understand how Kate’s misguided words may have affected some of you, but Kate is a killer. And Kate is gone. We will not have your insubordination.” She scans the crowd until her eyes settle on me. “You will defy the Moirai at your own risk.”
She nods once and returns to her seat, and one by one, the guards spin the six girls until their backs are to us. Their blouses are yanked down to their waists, and every woman in the room stops breathing as one unit. The whistle of the whip—a squeal, a sob—this is all we hear for several long, agonizing minutes.
I can’t tear my eyes from the poor girls bleeding on the platform, as much as I want to. I suddenly understand how very fortunate Chad and I have been. My head begins to ache. The women shuffle nervously. The Council stands by in silence. The lashings end, and Tara steps to the front of the stage again.
“We trust that this meeting will serve to hold the rest of you in check. Despite the turn of events, we expect you to perform your duties without question to keep the Village functioning properly. Remember, you are the givers of life.”
“And what of our leader? Have the Moirai decided?”
I turn, catch a glimpse of a familiar red braid.
Tara purses her lips, her eyes honed in on Blaer. “As of yet, we have no answer. But this should not hinder your ability to fulfill your roles. We expect nothing less.” With a quick nod, she adds. “You’re dismissed.”
I can’t get out of that echoing room fast enough. My pounding head raises a sharp nausea, and I bend to vomit just outside the door. The women bustle past, immersed in hushed conversations and not giving me a second glance. Someone grips my elbow. Startled I look up.
“Come on,” Blaer whispers. She tugs me along toward our hogans, and I let her, my mind roiling with every horror I can muster. They mingle with my fears for Chad. What if I was mistaken? What will happen to him if they catch him? What will happen to me?
Blaer and I don’t speak the entire walk. She shoves me through the door of my hogan, dipping in behind me. Bridget and Fallon are already there. I blink once, and face Blaer.
“All right, girls.” She speaks in a loud whisper. “It’s time to make a difficult decision.”
“Oh no,” I shake my head, backing away from her. “I’ve told you my decision already.” I toss my eyes across the rest of them. “You all need to leave. Now.”
“Mia—”
I glare at Blaer. “Did you not hear them? Did you not see what just happened in there? Defy the Moirai at your own risk. Is that your plan? If so, I want no part in this.”
“You hypocrite!” Blaer hisses, and I leer back, wide-eyed with surprise. She huffs angrily. “Do you not see it? Are you so blind? You’ve already defied them! And you’ve been fortunate, for whatever reason.”
I take in a sharp breath, hold it. Blaer opens her mouth to say more, but Bridget reaches up from where she sits on my mat next to Fallon and squeezes Blaer’s fingers, stopping her mouth. Blaer huffs, yanks away, and crosses her arms over her chest.
“It’s true,” Bridget insists, her tone much softer, pleading. “They obviously believed you when you said that you had nothing to do with your mate’s escape, but the Council was clear. Stock don’t gain these ideas on their own. We put them there. This puts you at great risk.”
My trembling fingers cover my lips, and tears smart. Fallon rises to her feet and wraps me in her arms.
“There, there.” She squeezes me to her, and I relax into her embrace. It seems ages since I’ve had a hug from anyone, and her touch reminds me of how much I miss my friends. “We know you’re scared. Goodness! I’m scared. Who wouldn’t be when we have such dangerous ideas?”
She shivers, and the sensation sends me to shivering in return. I ease away from her and sink to my mat, face in my hands. Nobody moves for a good minute, and then Blaer drops to her knees and takes my wrists. Pulling gently, she makes me look at her.
“Mia. You have to listen to us. You’ve placed yourself in a position where you have no other choice. Your only hope is to come with us before what happened to those girls today happens to you.”
I squeeze my eyes closed. I don’t want to hear her words. I don’t want to face any of this. I want to climb under my blanket and go to sleep and never wake. My heart battles, each twisted half bleeding with loyalty for an enemy cause, and I am a duel prisoner. I try to wrench away from Blaer’s grip, but she holds fast.
“You need to decide now if you’re with us. A full commitment is important—for all of our safety. Otherwise, we can’t trust you.”
I straighten. “Trust me with what?”
“With not telling our plans to the Council.”
I blink once, vehemently shaking my head. “I wouldn’t tell.”
Blaer frowns. “Are you so sure? If Leah came to you and insisted that you tell her what the breeders might be up to, you wouldn’t be tempted to divulge what you know?”
I yank from her grip and narrow my eyes, but what can I say? I’m known for caving under authority when confronted. More than once, Mona pulled what she needed out of me. And would I tell Leah if she asked? I told her I would, and I can’t say that I wouldn’t. But Leah… she cares about me; I know it. And she’s not adverse to Kate’s ideas of a different kind of system in our village. Why couldn’t I tell her how the girls are feeling? Would she not be sympathetic? If only I could make the girls see this.
“The Moirai have not spoken another name,” Blaer declares.
I blink. She tosses a glance toward the other two before she nods.
“Her name was in the box. Hers, Mia. As long as she is alive, no other name will ever surface, and the Council knows this. She is our leader.” Her fingers loosen and drop into her lap. “And a leader needs followers.”
I stare at her.
“Consider this,” Bridget brushes her fingers down my arm to gain my attention. “Would Kate be upset with you for what you’ve done?”
Frowning, I think on it. Kate encouraged me to look at Chad—to really see him and understand him. And when she came out of the Pit for the first time, she was different. She saw something different in the stock, and in time, she made me see it, too. I set my eyes on Bridget, flick them toward Fallon before they come to rest on Blaer’s face.
“Kate would not be upset,” I whisper.
Blaer smiles, and the freckles scattered across the bridge of her nose dance at the motion.
“She is our leader,” she repeats with a harsh whisper of her own. “So let’s follow her.”
A sensation I can’t quite describe flutters within. It’s riddled with joyful hope, something I have not felt for some time. It dances at the prospect of, for once, doing something Kate’s way. Something courageous and bold and so utterly dangerous. Blaer’s bright, excited eyes smile at me, and the fluttering intensifies into a single moment of frightful bravery.
I clench my fists against the sides of my skirt, and despite the events of the day, I give her a very hesitant nod.
Chapter 14
B
ravery is a terrifying necessity.
For the rest of the week, my nerves harass me. They creep around the edges of my spine each time Tara or Eleanor comes near, and as much as I try to avoid their eyes, I can’t help but think they must already know. A plot is afoot; I have been involuntarily pulled into the scheming, and I must reek of it. Every wide-eyed nervous breath I take seems to display my guilt.
“There’s no point in leaving if we don’t know where we’re
going.” Blaer concedes.
The moon hangs high over Mona’s cabin so bright we don’t need a candle tonight. Its light cascades in through the one window and falls over the four faces, turning their skin the color of ghosts.
I stand near the door, unwilling to fully commit to the circle of girls seated on the floor. Me... and Gina. As usual, she leans against the wall—rigid—her arms crossed. Her resistance is not because she is disloyal to the cause. No. Hers stems from the fact that she’s never been truly comfortable in the company of these girls. A hunter among the breeders.
“Now that’s the smartest comment you’ve made so far,” she grunts.
Blaer sighs. “Stop with the sarcasm, Gina. We know what we want. Now we need a real plan. We can’t very well follow after Kate if we don’t know which direction she went.”
Gina presses her lips together, her arms characteristically crossed over her chest. “And I suppose you’re wanting me to find out.”
Blaer shrugs apologetically. “You are the logical choice. You’ve been outside the Village.”
“Yes, to the hunting grounds only. And there’s nothing out there,” Gina concedes. “Nothing but ruin, just as the Council has taught us.”
“Then you’ll just need to go a bit farther.”
Gina says nothing else. She settles back, propping up one leg to rest the flat of her foot against the wall. Blaer eyes me.
“You aren’t going to back out of this, are you?”
I swallow, and not for the first time, I wish Blaer had never approached me at the feast. This scheming, all this planning and plotting and secretive meetings in the middle of the night has made me think too much—more than I’ve ever wanted to think about anything. I don’t want to answer her. My fingers slink upward to clutch at my throat.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I whisper. All the girls turn, wide, concerned eyes sweeping over me, and I shrink closer to the door and my escape. “I—”
I don’t know what else to say. They desperately want me to embrace this idea. Their hearts are bent toward Kate. If she will not lead here in the Village, they are determined to go to her and let her lead them where she will.